New
Nov 5, 2013 6:11 PM
#1
| Okay, It's my first post. I don't know if this is against the rules or not. But I figured I bite the bullet and ask. I'm working on a series of Hentai Fan-fiction involving netorare redemption. Meaning that it starts as any netorare situation would but rather than letting it end so horribly, I'd end it on a more positive note. I was successful in writing such a story. And I want to write another one. But I'm stuck as to how I'm to go about this story. Like, should the couple be a married one, or a childhood friends couple (like my last story). And the Antagonist be a boss from work, or a cheating playboy (also like my last story), or some ugly guy. Then the outcome. It could be anything since at the end, the girl goes back to the protagonist. In the final chapter of my story, the girl goes into exile for a few months before going back to her ex-fiance. Sorry to spoil it there. But if you want to check it out, I'll upload it. But in any case, I'm asking for ideas. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. P.S. If you like, I can re-write an existing netorare anime (or manga) and give it an alternate ending. I'll let you guys decide the alternate ending. P.P.S. Please understand, I'll only write stories based on Original Anime/Manga works. Doujinshi is out of the question because nearly All of those are Hentai Parodies of other titles. Now here's my works. --- Original Work --- False Engagement --> http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600106675 From Idol to Idiot --> http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107018 Revenge of the Son: The Beginning --> http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107421 --- Alternate Endings (Anime) --- Revenge of the Son (Furyou ni Hamerarete Jusei Suru Kyonyuu Okaa-san) -> http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600054366 True Blue (1 year later) (True Blue) -> http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600054378 Full Recovery (Kanojo ga Mimai ni Konai Wake) -> http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600054572 Revenge of the Son: Part 2 (Yama Hime No Mi) -> http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600054683 What could've been (Otomedori) -> http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600054951 Scandalous Behavior (I*Can) -> http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600055224 Back to your Senses (Saimin Jutsu The Animation 2nd) -> https://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600056748 --- Alternate Endings (Manga) --- Leap of Faith (Unsweet Netorare Ochita Onna-tachi Chapters 1-3) -> http://manga.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600000075 Issues Resolved (Sakiko-san's Man Issues) -> http://manga.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600000085 And there are more coming whenever possible. |
Sheild0731Aug 28, 2022 10:35 PM
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 6, 2013 10:30 PM
#3
leesan said: What has been seen, cannot be unseen. Not true in my opinion. Unless you use the right "cure" then you should be fine in a few days. My sense is to "rewrite the ugly script made by god." Think katsuragi keima with Romeo and Juliet. @Sheild0731 And I do agree, a well written Fanfic does indeed make you forget the original plot. After seeing this, I felt "free" of all the "bad endings" that type moon had originally made for the Fate routes. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5591380/1/FateBlack-Reflection If you can, please use my "devil's contract" that I put here. http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=529212 For me, I already wrote my own personal "fanfic," that I personally just type up and just save it, on all the Netorare anime I have seen. Of course, I might be redundant, due to how my "devil" somewhat does the same thing in terms of "cost." But hey, as long as a couple is together, then I am fine with banality. But anyway, I never put what I wrote online, because I can be really lacking, and since it sounds like you have a lot of imagination, then maybe you can write a good piece of work; not to mention, most people have a rougher taste as they prefer the guy to just dump his girl, so I never write what I think online. I can PM you all about my "devil's contract" if you are curious about it. small time example of -what the devil would look like http://www.mangahere.com/manga/superior/v09/c026/45.html or http://www.mangahere.com/manga/shoujo_gensou_necrophilia/c002/3.html how he appears to the character http://www.mangahere.com/manga/mirai_nikki_mosaic/v01/c001/39.html - a hint of what my "cost" is http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/16200000/The-End-anime-romeo-and-juliet-16286239-500-280.jpg But anyway, main point is "the cost is cheap." Or it can be expensive, something out of Hell Girl, your choice if you have some preference. http://www.mangahere.com/manga/superior/v09/c027/53.html Also, my "devil's contract" has three main things, a "time leapt," a "change in personality," and "power. Main idea, think in what occurred with Tatsuya Hibino (blue eyes). For Kyouko's son (Furyou ni Hamerarete Jusei Suru Kyonyuu Okaa-san: The Animation), and sorry but no name is ever found for the kid, I turned him into a wonderful piece of work after I put my "devil's contract" on him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7xdIjiZTVQ If you seen lio shirazumi (type moon), then it is easy to imagine a "transformation." But as you can tell, the main aspect is "personality change," especially for weak male characters. For Kyouko's son, I went made him have a 180 personality like this http://www.mangahere.com/manga/code_breaker/v12/c096/3.html which is reasonable if you think how negative he is after his mother left him http://www.mangahere.com/manga/code_breaker/v18/c167/4.html The common powers are simple just the ability to kill, psychic style, and to show other people the owner's memories, where Okino Kazuki (Otomedori) had shown Sakuragi Otome, what would have been the future, where she would be later mortified. Though I ussualy to "time leaps," if there is a case where a "time leap" isn't needed then it would be similar to Demon's Souls dj - Arumajibon! Kuro Keikou Sinner's Souls - Chain of the Wedge; such a case can be used in the manga Relish, where I can imagine a rather nice kid saving his female teacher after he is given power. Tears came to my eyes as I saw how even NTR can't break their love XD. I may tend to over do things. http://img485.imageshack.us/img485/7926/sfutureiz2.png Anyway, if I have a preference, please re-write something for following. Unsweet - Netorare Ochita Onnatachi (Kurose Katsuko )- Where the main factor is Atonement on Jun's part, I wrote that After “rejecting” his teacher, a “devil” came to him and showed him the truth to end his blind hatred. After which, realizing how it was truly his fault, as well as knowing how much Katsuko loved him and was suffering, and how that he was unable to save the one he loved the most on her greatest time of need .........you get the rest, he did a number on Shinohara, when the jerk waved Jun's phone and bragged what he was going to do with Katsuko, tsukuyomi style (naruto) then ended his life as he aged due to stress. http://www.mangahere.com/manga/get_backers/v02/c000/47.html In the middle, you can imagine some arguments with the Devil and Jun such as how Jun questioned the Devil, who is by nature good, as he could have prevented that horrific event from the beginning, but the Devil will say to Jun that he had “plenty of opportunities” which he squandered by his incompetence and that he had only himself to blame for his “first opportunity;" the concept of this is while the Devil chose to step in and give the “devil’s contract” which gave Jun the golden chance to redeem himself, however the main fact is how Jun think it is not enough because he is still angry with himself, seeing how there was indeed a “time” where he chose to abandon Katsuko out of selfish ignorance. While still loving to Katsuko, Jun would show signs of how he hates himself. teacher’s hell - Tsutomu, same as Jun. Sakiko-san’s Man Issues- the devil gives Midou a real good deal. Milk Money-a reverse NTR, during his time in “purgatory” he admit he didn't feel he deserved Kyouko’s love and used Marika as a way to escape from his guilt. He is self hateful for causing Kyouko pain when he found out she got fired for their relationship, and is now going to be killed by the police, by accident via gunshot. After getting a “second chance" by the Devil, he then sought to correct his mistakes. Private Emotion - I saw a nice alternative setting, in the CG art, with a nice wedding dress in it; all of which made me think of my mini-fanfic of where I had imagined, the substance is based on the CG game, that – while being unable to continue to see his teacher, Sayaka, suffer a "devil" came to Shin and made a deal. Initially, he wanted to reverse time so he can prevent the scandal and later break up with Sayaka, believing he would cause more harm to her if they would continue love each other. But after seeing how much Sayaka had suffered because of breaking up, despite stating his good intentions, he later changed his mind and proposed to Sayaka (romeo x juliet anime ending style). Kazuya (Yama Hime no Mi) – Kazuya is depressed over losing his mother, Masae, a “Devil” came to him and made a deal. After going back into time, Kazuya was able to kill the Masae’s rapist in time before he forced himself onto Masae. Afterword, Kazuya declared his love for his mother and proceeded to force himself on her, something similar to Scarlet Desire. Nikuyoku Gangu Takuhainin- while not labeled NTR, I have a feeling that Jyun got NTR'd and I did feel sympathy for the pure heart kid. Idea, is Jyun could just wipe out Mr. Delivery Man's memory after his train incident and the Devil gives the kid instructions on how to make his own harem. Of course, there was some "extra help," as in a new character can be added, since I found out in the visual novel that Yuika was possibly a shotacon. But for the rest of the girls, you can imagine that Jyun would rape them with the exception of his older sister, who becomes his accomplice. So you can imagine that Jyun did something similar to mr. Delivery man, only he will do it similar to the CG game; in short, the "role" of the rapist switches into someone else to have different result. sextra credit - while they did not do it in the anime, Yuma was netorared by Saru in the visual novel. To be frank, I have a hunch Saru may rape Yuma's beloved teacher had they made a third episode. The women I know no one cares about, but Yuma is one that does deserve sympathies. Story- So after Saruwatari broke his deal and proceeded to rape the female principle, Kyoko, in front of him, Yuma feel into a deep depression and strong anger as he was tied up and could do nothing. The “devil” made a deal with him. Yuma, after going through a “time leap,” later knocked out Saru, pummeled, and imprisoned him before he was going to do anything; then release him later. The “devil” gave him “Saru’s” role but in a vastly different way. So yes, Yuma did his own rape version with the other teachers aside from his beloved Kyoko; in short it is the same with Nikuyoku Gangu Takuhainin where Yuma is the "rapist" while he has his way with the west of the girls. Tooya (Rec) - a love-sick idiot. When a "devil" came and destroyed "what was left" of the Mahiru he knew, Tooya was able to find his inner anger. When the "devil" was able to convince Tooya to make a deal with him, you can guess the rest. Anyway, I know it is hard to at least change a character's persona, but hey, such hardships can change a person. Try to imagine any sort of rage, depending on the person you are thinking. For people, who held elements such as "abandonment and incompetence," such as Tsutomu (Teacher's Hell) and Jun (Unsweet: Netorare Ochita Onna-tachi), I just made them into a drastic personality change like the once goofy Battler Ushiromiya had turned a bit sour. As for how the “devil” to come in, you can imagine something similar to this as the devil comes in as a “voice.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWms2Pd02MI There are plenty of other cases you can imagine. For example, for Okino Kazuki (Otomedori), you can at least imagine him with a simple double face feature. http://i.imgur.com/3phPd.jpg For Okino, he can still portray himself as an overall good youth who is polite, emotional, and easily gets teary-eyed. Though, like many people similar to him, Kazuki will show he has a two-faced nature, when in a dark situation, he shows a more of a dark personality that suits his background history, which would lead him to run a few steps to dispose of some certain rapist. For the rather "once weak" looking kid, I can imagine that the first noticeable change noticed by Rinka, is how when Rinka had playfully jumped behind him to hug, wanting to drag him somewhere, and was unintentionally preventing Kazuki to carry his rescue operation with Otome’s first rape incident, where he then snapped and punched a lamp post, destroying it, to get Rinka to understand how serious he was at the time. Please PM me if you did not understand the ending of each "contract," or if I did not state it. But here is the origin if you want. From Blue Eyes volume seven, around page 120. (please read the hentai before continueining to read down below) So that rather SUPER COOL random supernatural gave birth to my "devil's contract," as I had imagine that Tatsuya Hibino made a deal with the "devil" (incase you didn't notice, it is put in quotations for a reason). The "devil" gave Tatsuya Hibino the power of "time leap," so he can do things such as getting a bullet proof vest, then erased his memories about his their meeting, after he was done "time leaping," to discuss about the "cost" later. The concept can be similar to this couple pages example. http://www.mangahere.com/manga/defense_devil/v01/c014/15.html Anyway, in short, that rather nice scene gave me "proof" that the "devil" does indeed exist and is the ultimate cure for any NTR plot as the "devil" is usually disgusted with a rather disgusting "script" that needs to be "re-written." The idea of "time leap" derives from the film "the girl that leapt through time," incase you didn't notice up till now. p.s I am not trying to include some freak religion, incase anyone is thinking that, I was thinking at my own fanfic "element" at the moment. The idea of "cure" becomes good when you have some strong mental image of what to use when you try to counter the tasteless effects of a sickening NTR plot. |
greed2Nov 25, 2014 12:46 AM
Nov 7, 2013 7:05 AM
#4
| Wow. That is A LOT of info. Thanks to that, I have an idea for an alternate ending for Furyou ni Hamerarete Jusei Suru Kyonyuu Okaa-san: The Animation. The son is left in the apartment with almost no food left. Then a devil comes in and he trades in his soul for super powers. Afterward, think of Injustice:Gods Among Us mixed with Inazuma (Shiraishi Nagisa). And there will be more soon. But of course, it'll take a while. What with work and all. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 7, 2013 8:17 AM
#5
| On second thought, forget the whole devil thing. For Furyou ni Hamerarete Jusei Suru Kyonyuu Okaa-san: The Animation Read more at http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=686249#TAMRtybu3DJKo62e.99 , I'll do something more interesting. We'll give Shun & Kyouko the SAW effect. If you've seen any of the SAW movies, you'll see what I'm talking about. I'll have to re-watch the series just to get the spark back in my system. But I have the "game" figured out already. With help from Real friends, the son (I'll name him Akira for this one) goes alpha-male and kills the guys involved in their latest orgy. But apprehends Shun & Kyouko knocking them out cold. When they come too, Shun finds himself bound to a chair on a tank filled with Kerosene. And right in front of Shun, there's Kyouko finding herself gagged and her arms tied up from behind. She's chained up from the ceiling. There's mini-rods pierced on her nipples and their hooked to 4 12-volt car batteries. Before Kyouko, there's her son Akira naked with only his socks on and a bigger boner with more stamina than usual. And his real friend (I'll name him Yusuke for this) comes in and explains everything. That this happened BECAUSE you dumped your own son for common street trash. We'll see if Kyouko is REALLY loyal to Shun. The rules are simple. Akira is gonna fuck Kyouko for 2 hours. If she cums before time is up, Kyouko will spend the rest of her life as Akira's pet and Shun get's burned alive. But, if she doesn't cum after 2 hours, Shun's life is spared. But then Kyouko gets electrocuted. At the end of that 2nd episode, things did not end well for the poor boy. So I brought it apon myself to fix this. Kyouko is now forced to choose between her lover & her life. Look forward to it! |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 7, 2013 10:39 AM
#6
| Oh, so Akira will be his given name. I guess the kid never had a name, I searched far and wide but could never find it, hate how NTR genres tend to make the victim completely like some minor character. Anyway, please include how these words had continue to haunt Akira, which resulted into his rather transformation" - "You know I loved you, if you only were like this from the beginning. But you're already way to late, I'm already all Shin's. Laters, bye bye, goodbye forever." Either way, even if there is a "lack of the Devil," for me, I will try to imagine something in the perspective of Ronny (Baccano), where the Devil takes a "human form." So I will try to see Yusuke as the "devil" for the time being. He might be similar to a certain devil I saw in Inutsu na Shizuku, one that is able to show the happy times that Kyouko had with her son, which in invokes a similar reaction from Kiba anime. Oh, and please add anything else to make Akira a bit more psychologically twisted. Such as how he turn a bit cannibalistic and bites Shin's neck in the end, which had stemmed from how his mother chocked him, but Shin is still alive, it is just Akira did that because he finds Shin's mouth rather annoying; if I had gone from the perspective of the visual novel, details right here http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=656823 ,I would have said that he turn into a cannibal after he killed his mother, and eating her corpse, the Devil comes in, in the same manner as Souren Araya (type moon) did for Lio, in a human form and makes a "partial time leap." But anyway, I wouldn't go as far as to give his mother new piercings; at best maybe a dog color and a chain to go along with it. Using a couple of machines, such as the one found in A Time to Screw, would be fine but I would imagine he would try to keep his mother "as pure as possible." But everything else is fine, and I doubt that Kyouko won't die. My idea of the "devil" is he knows the results before hand. Anyway, for the kid, here are some quotes. When Shin is in a state of shock but tries to sound strong saying he was able to take Akira's mother. Akira- "You’re really pitiful. Listen, I’ll tell you one thing. That day, I failed to retain my “everything” alright, resulting to the way I am now. Looking at my story now, you should know, right? After that I chose to forsake my own humanity due to how I saw how disgustingly weak I was. I had later become “broken” person beyond repair. And even after therapy, I doubt there is a single doctor that can ever understand me. So I can never go back ——But then again, just because you made me no longer human, and that you took my everything before, it doesn’t mean that you are stronger than me, RIGHT?" "I know…I know that. I know I’m just licking my own wounds. I will forever remember my sin that now caused me so much anguish. That was being weak. That weak self is a sin, my cowardly exestance back then was a sin, but now I have absolute power from a god then I can now CORRECT THAT SIN.” When about his mother. "This person belongs to me." How he became "strong." "Enforcing your will while experiencing everlasting despair. That's what 'hatred' means. The desire for revenge made me strong. After all, there are times when a person needs to embrace the darkness for the sake of the people they love. I will kill all who stand in our way." Anyway, aside from personality, I don't know if you are going to change his physical appearance, but please keep it to a minimum. At best maybe a jewel tongue piercing and maybe HOMRA's tatoo on his tongue, which surounds that piercing. p.s- Just incase you may have misunderstood, My "cost" is cheap in regards to the devil; I am not thinking of Hell Girl. Though yeah, if you are saying the devil lied about taking his soul, when his cost is differenent, then I can understand. |
greed2Nov 7, 2013 3:07 PM
Nov 7, 2013 12:56 PM
#7
| DAMN! WE HAVE LIFT-OFF! Okay, I'll leave out the nipple piercings. Instead, I'll have Akira jam a giant dildo up Kyouko's ass. And the dildo & dog collar will be strapped to the car batteries. The scene will take place in a secluded room filled with life-size photographs of Good memories of Akira & Kyouko, reminding Kyouko of what she gave away for her twisted relationship. As the game progresses, Akira pounds her pussy like there's no tomorrow while being haunted by those "last words" from his mother. At the same time, Kyouko is haunted with good memories provided by the life-size pictures. I have to give this a bit more thought before I start writing this. I also have to figure out how to upload the story once I finished it. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 7, 2013 3:28 PM
#8
| nice, thank you. p.s- Please correct the spelling. The Jerk's name is Shin, not Shun. So anyway, I don't know what you have intended for the guy. But it will be interesting if he dies with a pathetic face on him. I can at least imagine that Akira would say- "Since you made me strong, I think I will send you off with a nice bang. Ha ha" Shin's desepratelast words would probably be "Really, do you not notice you are becoming no different from me. From this view, your the real villain now?!!" Akira's reply "I have no interest in being a villain, but I don't see myself as some hero either. All I am doing is taking what is mine. You are right that I don’t think that I can become a good person as I am now. I’m at a halfway point where I’m not even sure which path I should walk down…..at least without my mother. Since I now have my everything back, I could care less how the world views me. As long as I someone turn into charcoal, then I will be more than satisfied. Bye Bye, enjoy having a small taste of the hell you put me through. Ha ha" Also, incase you want to make Akira a cannibal, but not make him eat Shin, you can make him eat Shin's friends, as he went on a man hunt for them during the night, and leave Shin alive (with his mouth intact so Akira can hear him scream) while having him tied up as you said. You can have him do a stunt similar to this, along with the quotes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7xdIjiZTVQ Main concept, that supports his twisted mind, is that he can tell if they slept with Kyouko judging from their smell. Main quote "why do you have mom's smell!!" then kills them in a barbaric method; the way he found them is either by his nose or I can imagine that Yusuke has gave Akira their address. For more examples of people, with mental problems, here is another example- Aishite Yamanai Shoujo And I don't know what kind of person you will make Yusuke. But I can imagine he is a mysterious person with some sort of special "power" that is helping Akira out of his own interest. At the very least, please do not make it a threeway, just Kyouko and Akira. You can at least have Yusuke shoot a bullet on one of Shin's limb to quiet him down every now and then. Oh and the idea of the "memory" is good. Please add anything else to that, like possibly a video taped event or whatever. |
greed2Nov 7, 2013 5:25 PM
Nov 7, 2013 7:23 PM
#9
| Sorry for the misspelling. I downloaded the episodes from Eurobeat. And they named him that way. First of all, sorry to disappoint you but there's no cannibalism in this (or any of my stories). I'm just not into that. But I like the crazy persona provided from the youtube video. Hell, Accelerator looks like Kyouko's son. I was amazed. The quotes are pretty interesting too. I'll use most (but not all) of them. As for Yusuke, he never told even Akira this but, he's the son of a Yakuza boss which allows him to get away with a lot of shit. Akira shows him the videos, Yusuke know's where the locations are, the 2 go there and take action. And NO, there won't be any threesome. Akira is getting his revenge while Yusuke is keeping an eye on things. Finally, the outcome of the story. It'll be something like the end of Panty Flash Teacher. Kyouko lays there crying realizing that she brought this on herself and she has no choice but to live with it. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 7, 2013 7:56 PM
#10
| I see, well I don't know what kind of person Yusuke is, but I can imagine he may be similar to a certain someone in Necromancer Manga, dark and devious. I will imagine he, and Akira, will do something to Shin's friends at least. For example, he can interrogate them, then kill them, or at least do something torturous to them as Akira would smile as he does something "new" in his life. http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/8400000/roberta-black-lagoon-8442439-767-1024.jpg And its ok, sorry for recommending the idea of cannibalism. I was thinking in the realm of lio shirazumi, who can be seen as similar to Akira, as Akira saw himself as weak recalling how his mother one time called him a coward. Hell, he looks like an older version of the kid, so I wouldn't be shocked if Akira turned in to such a terrifying state; of course he would never eat his mother, while he is having his way with her, if that is what you thought I meant. http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120804111418/typemoon/images/6/66/4dea98f37cd60.png As for Yusuke, I don't know how they will meet, nor will I know how he will look but I can guess he may look similar to Kodaka Hasegawa ( Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai) or agito Wanijima (air gear, ). Anyway,I can imagine that he was possibly Akira's Aneki in his school days and that he would just kick through Akira's door, who secluded himself in his house. But, if you change your mind, if you plan to use the "devil" then you can just use, instead of a "contract," a simple manner of "devil's assistance. " also, thank you for not making a threesome. Also, please replace your example with Chibaku Yuugi possibly. Panty Flash Teacher, the person is a JERK. Guy in Chibaku Yuugi can be seen more like a victim like Akira. And your welcome, on the Accelerator part. I hope to see how much Akira would make a 180 personality change while being similar to Accelerator. Of course, I can imagine some other differences, such as laughing styles, where he may laugh in a similar manner to akito hyuga (code geass). |
greed2Nov 7, 2013 8:12 PM
Nov 7, 2013 9:04 PM
#11
| I'll have to watch Chibaku Yuugi first. And Akira's laugh is the same as The Joker's laugh (I can't help it, he's my favorite villain). And I have yet to figure out the meeting. But Yusuke reminds Akira about his "special training" at which point he becomes the twisted psychopathic persona he nearly forgot about (To put it simply, he become's Accelerator, in a sense). |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 7, 2013 11:39 PM
#12
| I don't know "which" Joker, but if he can laugh just as good, or better, than this guy then I can get a good imagination http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaBvBNJ4nN0 (skip to 7:25, where you see a guy with mental problems burning someone.) Also, for how they can meet, maybe they never meet before so it can be like this. As the healthy growing teen, I can imagine Yusuke would buy some porn videos, and Kyouko's dvd just happen to caught his eye. If you watched/skim Otomedori, where the rapist mentioned Okino Kazuki to Otome as they talked about how she forgot him then you would imagine the same as Kyouko and Shin would blurt out stuff; Shin would probably mention what he did to Akira, which includes how he also raped Akira according to visual novel, and how he made Kyouko abandon him, with the small note that he noticed Kyouko crying, of course Kyouko did not notice she did anything sentimental. While Yusuke bought the dvd out of libido, initially, he later becomes disgusted after hearing how Shin continues to torment Akira by sending him his mother's dvds they made. But, like Orochimaru (naruto) and his manner of recruiting others, he would become interested in seeing what he can do with Akira. So he ordered his men to find Kyouko's original living address. That is when he barges in the house and still sees Akira in such a miserable state. That is where he forces the kid to come with him. Anyway, I don't know how the training would go. But I am pretty sure that Shin, who is a typical jerk, probably recorded the whole incident, before Kyouko left Akira, which includes the words that forever haunt the kid; so, leaving that recording in Akira's house, Yusuke finds it and decides to use it for Akira's "training." Mix that, with the word "coward" while the kid is doing something like this then I can imagine some results. http://www.mangahere.com/manga/asklepios/v02/c018/6.html And I will look forward if he has different methods to kill Shin's friends. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqOFl93sHno So I don't know how the training will go, but I can imagine that Akira would at least get physically stronger. But, like I said, if he does get into a Yakuza group, please avoid giving any extreme exterior changes, as in typical Yakuza tattoos , a tongue piercing would suit him like most psychopathic people. http://www.mangahere.com/manga/deadman_wonderland/c009/40.html |
greed2Nov 8, 2013 12:13 AM
Nov 8, 2013 6:16 AM
#13
| Okay, it's gotten a bit off track. I'll go back to my previous idea. Yusuke comes to visit Akira only to find him starving and desperate. Yusuke asks about this, Akira shows him the videos, Yusuke reminds Akira about his "other half". Akira turns into Accelerator. Finally Yusuke knows where the location Kyouko & Shin is in. He drives Akira there and the 2 take action. And it's Joker from Batman. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 8, 2013 8:02 AM
#14
| right, sorry. thought you were stuck with the idea of how they meet. But please give Akira some training, it would be interesting how the "haunting words take effect. Anyway, good luck. Also, when I said "which" Joker, I meant - Joker from (dark night returns), joker (heath ledger), or Joker (under the red hood), and so on. They tend to change their laughing styles. |
Nov 8, 2013 2:27 PM
#15
| Okay. But no promises on the training idea. I might end up doing a flashback from a previous time, or even the possibility of Yusuke giving Akira a "red pill" that turns him into such a person. Plus that one Hentai just got done downloading. The one when we was talking about how I should make the outcome of the story. We'll see how this goes, otherwise it's back to the Panty Flash Teacher idea. And it's Joker from Injustice: Gods Among Us and/or Batman: The Animated Series. It's nearly the same thing. |
Sheild0731Nov 8, 2013 2:52 PM
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 8, 2013 4:10 PM
#16
| If the red pill is based in the same way as Wrath (FMA 2003), when he ate the red stones, then I can see the picture. We can skip the training, at least slightly as Yusuke would bring a "scumbag" in as a guinea pig for Akira; concept, Yusuke's words "pretend this is Shin, tell me what would you do to him" while Akira is holding some sort sharp object. Anyway, I don't know what kind of drugs he will give Akira but I am sure, like a certain someone, those drugs would increase his physical abilities. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag7J0NWTB4M Either way, if it is the joker, or Accelerator, I look forward what barbaric behavior Akira has to show. If he joins the Yakuza, I can imagine he may do a good job in terms of interrogation. Aside from the laugh, I will also enjoy how will you describe the kid's smile. I seen plenty of my fair shares of smile; if you make him wear that school clothing, which makes him look girl, then it is a good match for his new behavoir. http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/3332/pic14lt1.png http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q203/captainexcabier/funny/Anime/BlackLagoon03a.jpg http://img1.ak.crunchyroll.com/i/spire2/f94513ab897c840541bc77dab31dfc8f1255319012_full.jpg http://moesucks.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/c3-0301.jpg http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/29600000/Yuno-yuno-gasai-29663426-700-716.jpg http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Guts_slasher_smile_7502.jpg http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdrdyvXUKn1rnogpo.jpg |
Nov 8, 2013 4:48 PM
#17
| Akira will not be a Yakuza. But I'll consider the brief training part. A sharp object huh? Okay, you asked for it! LOL! Yusuke: Akira, pretend that this street punk is Shin. Show me what you will do to him. (Akira grabs the punk by the back of his neck and places a knife inside his mouth.) Akira: You know how I got these scars? My father was...a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not-one-bit. So... me watching...he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it! He turns to me, and he says, "Why so serious, son?" Comes at me with the knife... "Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth... "Let's put a smile on that face!" And... Why so serious? (Akira splits the punks mouth in half then he cuts his tongue off, killing him.) Yusuke: I think you're ready for vengeance. Ready to take care of business? And it goes on. And I'm sorry but none of those smiles are any match for the joker or Accelerator. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 8, 2013 6:01 PM
#18
| Let's avoid mimicking the joker, aside on laughing, and more on Accelerator, where we can imagine a more "colorful" use of language. When glancing at the tied up at his first victim/playmate, who is visibly crying, and the power drill Akira is holding up with his hands. "Well I wasn't expecting you to get an idiot to test me, while I don't know what this guy did I can imagine I would hate him anyway. Did he ruin someone's life, or did he rape a girl multiple times? Either way, just looking at him, he expects me to give some pity, but now that I "broke" the concept of "pity" isn't in my system anymore. " *maniacal smile* five minutes later. Victum has many holes on him, but Akira is still not finished. I think I am going to climax you deadmeat!! Ha ha ha, so much fun, I should be thankful that you are letting me giving you a rather fascinating death, just hearing you scream as you try to beg for forgiveness, I can only imagine you possibly did to deserve this kind of hell. 1 hour later "Awww, he bleed to death. And I was enjoying how much he was screaming, it was such a lovely work of art. Though it was good at least that I got to the eyes. To be blind is better than looking through this scum's eyes if Yusuke was planning to sell them." Yusuke asking, while Akira is holding a picture of his mother and him- so do you like my plan on how we are going to take care of Shin. "Yeah, it sounds like a nice piece of art so why not? I can't wait to hear what kind of music that guy would generate. The only question is, just in what way are we going to spend our fun mom? I am going to enjoy our reunion mom, because this time I'm giving you a choice for the two of us to go to hell together or back home together, which ever you choose doesn't matter to me because I will chain you forever so you will never leave me again." *grin* And I was giving a different variety of smiles so you can get the idea of the "description" needed to describe Akira's smile. I am more surprised that Balalaika's eyes didn't give too much suggestions, even the eyes have a good effect on people. In Akira's case, his eyes would no longer have kind eyes of the child he once was, just the eyes of a predator that looks like he is taking back meat stolen from him. example of a certain predator http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltBr0C-UXLU p.s did you check out Chibaku Yuugi, and is it a better example? |
greed2Nov 8, 2013 7:19 PM
Nov 8, 2013 6:18 PM
#19
| Yes, I just did. Chibaku Yuugi is a new type of "cure" (for me anyway). And the NTR in the first episode is on our favor. THAT'S the kind of NTR we should be experiencing, NOT the tragic, heart-breaking BULL-SHIT we're getting today. And the outcome is indeed different from Panty Flash Teacher. The end of that, the guy is a straight-up jackass. But in here, it's just good old fashion Revenge. And I've seen every crazy person to date with demonic red eyes (even if it's just one eye). Akira is no different so there's no need for that kind of suggestion. You know, you just made part of the story for me (thanks dude). Thought it was written as if Yusuke has a part in the raping. And I already said that there will be no threesome. I'll just edit some of that. And sorry for the joker mimicking. I was just having fun. =) |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 8, 2013 6:44 PM
#20
| Just incase I mistyped something, Yusuke isn't taking part of the sex as he is, as you said, just watching to make sure Shin isn't doing something to set himself free while probably seeing Akira's "heartfelt" reunion with his mother. And I am glad to help. And it is ok but the way, here is a three page example that may be of use. I can imagine Akira is holding at least a picture of his mother while maniacally thinking about her. http://www.mangahere.com/manga/tripeace/v06/c028/37.html |
greed2Nov 8, 2013 7:18 PM
Nov 8, 2013 7:04 PM
#21
| Cool. I'm off from work tomorrow. But I'm getting a head start as soon as finish typing this reply. Now this will take a while so everyone will have to be patient. Furthermore, this will be in RTF format. So the Notepad is not an option. You'll have to use the Wordpad program or Microsoft Word or Whatever. And I'll worry about uploading it once it's finished. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 9, 2013 9:09 AM
#22
| FINISHED!! It took me all night but I got it done. Granted I tried to make Akira as psychotic as I could. But I was too focused on the revenge parts. Now then How do I upload this? |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 9, 2013 7:13 PM
#24
| Unfortunately, Fanfiction.net doesn't allow Hentai. But I found a site that does. I just published my story there. *Link moved to first post Sorry if it's not perfect (I wasn't planning on making it perfect). But with NTR these days, anything is better than the endings we've been getting. |
Sheild0731Nov 23, 2013 4:48 PM
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 9, 2013 9:22 PM
#25
| I discovered too late that as I was writing this, some words were misspelled. And the wordpad program doesn't have a spell checker. But that website does. The story is now corrected. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 11, 2013 2:51 AM
#26
| Read it, and slowly savored the details. I had enjoyed how a certain someone had his own serial killer moments, and made all those people scream. IF all NTR ended where the rapist die making the same sound as Sugou (sword art online), then I would see a much brighter world. I am rather curious if the effects on Akira are permanent or only temporary. To be frank, I feel that Akira is stuck that way, which is enjoyable. I would enjoy seeing how Akira deals with group of thugs that try to do something with his mother. In regards to Akira's mental. If it is permanent, at least on a semi-level, then I am finding it eerie how a certain character, in A School Where Love is Unnecessary manga, greatly resembles Akira. |
greed2Nov 11, 2013 3:32 AM
Nov 11, 2013 4:07 AM
#27
greed2 said: Read it, and slowly savored the details. I had enjoyed how a certain someone had his own serial killer moments, and made all those people scream. IF all NTR ended where the rapist die making the same sound as Sugou (sword art online), then I would see a much brighter world. I am rather curious if the effects on Akira are permanent or only temporary. To be frank, I feel that Akira is stuck that way, which is enjoyable. I would enjoy seeing how Akira deals with group of thugs that try to do something with his mother. In regards to Akira's mental. If it is permanent, at least on a semi-level, then I am finding it eerie how a certain character, in A School Where Love is Unnecessary manga, greatly resembles Akira. Earlier in the story, Yusuke told Akira as he was explaining the drugs effects that the effects are permanent yet controllable. Therefore, should he take Kyouko out again and some group of idiots attempt to gangrape her again, Then Akira can unleash is inner-demon and start decapitating those guys. Laughing in the process. So yes, they ARE Permanent. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 12, 2013 6:45 PM
#28
| I recently just watched freezing vibration episode 6, while I had disliked Louis, I can at least imagine any more fun, that Akira does with Kyouko, would be similar to what Louis did with his sister, only in a maybe less abusive manner, considering his now "new" mental state. Anyway, like Mama Pet [Fuusen club), I can imagine that Akira has found another way to make money. Also, feel free to use my "Devil's Contract" for your cure for any NTR you come across with, you don't have to write it of course. As I said, I think, the "cure" would take a while for every new sick NTR plot you see, for me the heavier the NTR the harder it takes for my cure to take effect; but my cure always come through in the end, where I feel "invincible" again, since I always write my cure in my journal to help strengthen it; much like how you did with Akira, making him "evil." Of course, if you do write anything, using my "devil's contract." You can initially first think shoujo gensou necrophilia, in terms of how the "devil" can help his contractor. Like Ryuk and Light Yagami (death note), the "devil" will hang around with his contractor in an invisible manner, though his behavior can be similar to this guy http://www.mangahere.com/manga/necromancer/c003/2.html or http://www.mangahere.com/manga/necromancer/c013/14.html Can be a girl or boy, someone who is a "good person" but simply pursues his own interest; in Lelouch's case, his main interest was destroying a certain empire, but coincidentally on his way he just played the role of a "hero." If I was using the perspective of william shakespeare (type moon), or somewhat in the sense of Sasori (naruto), the only reason why he helps others with his "devil's contract" is mainly for his own interest as he likes to strive as he see his sense of “art” being made. Devil’s main sense of “art” is to see play and makes the decision of either “rewriting it” or leave it the way it is; for example in Ryo Sakurai’s (public toilet) case, he would just be satisfied, not using a devil's contract, but in Shin's (Private Emotion) case he would see as an unsatisfying work of trash that needs to be rewritten. This is just a way to think why the "devil' wouldn't involve himself with tragic victims that you would see be in Black Lagoon or Shigofumi, because sadly I can't think of how I can use my Devil's contract for such a case. Anyway, if you were to think about a story revolving with Jun (Unsweet - Netorare Ochita Onnatachi) after he killed a certain someone, via "time leap," then you can imagine the "cost" doesn't occur immediately but the "devil" hangs around Jun to see if Jun is able to forgive himself for abandoning Katsuko. The Devil would provide of other stuff, such as knowledge, to do good on grades, and money, so he can take Katsuko out for a date, but Jun would still contemplate if "the Katsuko then" would be willing to forgive him; and he would also ask the "devil" from time to time. Anyway, I'm just telling you this if you needed an idea for the "devil's contract." It is fine if you use it as just a simple cure, but I just wanted to give more detail to make the cure effective. Good luck with any other fanfic you plan to write. |
greed2Nov 13, 2013 9:13 AM
Nov 12, 2013 8:03 PM
#29
| I can't guarantee that I'll use your Devil's Contract on a future plot. I pretty much have outcome ideas coming and going (among other things). But thanks for wishing me luck. =) Furthermore, I read the manga of Unsweet - Netorare Ochita Onnatachi up until the end of the Jun/Katsuko story. This is one I might not bother altering. Mostly because in that last chapter after the H-Scene, Katsuko got what she deserved when Jun told her that he can no longer trust her (even IF Jun managed to kill Kazuya). |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 12, 2013 8:16 PM
#30
| As I said, you can use it as a cure if you see any more unfavorable NTR plots. Nothing more, I was just adding extra details incase you are thinking of a "death note" relationship with the "devil" and the protagonist. Unlike Ryuk, who was annoying, the "devil" can be seen as more "helpful." Anyway, in my opinion, I had sympathize Katsuko due to how it was mainly Jun's fault for being careless. But everyone has their own different view. I would have liked it if it ended like Maru Kajiri, where I had enjoyed Takeshi's comeback, but instead it ended like Ore no Kanojo ga Fuuzokujou ni Natta Riyuu; on the side note, after reading the extra chapter I felt Katsuko had loved Jun, at least she said she loved him unlike how Kanzaki Aoi (true blue) dumped Kuruansu Akito for Shoda. It would have been intersting to see Jun turn into another Battler Ushiromiya (Umineko no Naku Koro ni Chiru Episode 6), like Accelerators, Battler was just as interesting. But let's not discuss this further. This forum is to see if there is any other fanfics that need to be rewritten or given a sequel. p.s I usually update my first post in this forum, so sorry if it looks longer than it should. |
greed2Nov 12, 2013 8:27 PM
Nov 12, 2013 8:30 PM
#31
| Okay, I'll drop that discussion. But one question, What extra chapter? I read and skimmed the whole manga and I did not see any extra chapter. Perhaps that part I was talking about was the extra chapter? |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 12, 2013 8:35 PM
#32
greed2 said: I don't know if I will be flamed for putting this link here, but here. [Link Removed by Admin] I just bookmarked it. So you can go ahead and erase it. Thanks dude. =) |
zanetuNov 12, 2013 11:45 PM
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 12, 2013 9:08 PM
#33
| Please let me know if you have different opinions. And since this is an anti-ntr club, please be mindful since what you said before was like saying, no offense but it is like saying to all Lelouch fans on how Lelouch deserved to die when the fans wanted him to live, even though he did a couple of mindless massacres. (by "know" I mean PM, since I don't want to spam your forum that may be out of topic, but this is your forum) p.s Incase you may have forgot, the Devil's contract can be more flexible that just a straight kill theme. As I said, for Yuma's case (sextra credit), you can make him knock out Saru, then lock him in somewhere, then give him "Saru's role" where he will make his harem with all five teachers. I would find the hentai to be more interesting if we have a more "appealing" looking character doing the role in his own way. Another case would be Susumu Sakurai (Saimin Jutsu The Animation 2nd), where I made him kill a certain idiot, and gave Susumu the "role" of using hypnotism on everyone under the "devil's" instructions. Anyway, the contract is "flexible" just to let you know. Either way, I will look forward to any "personality changes" you have in mind, such as from this http://randomc.net/image/Dragonaut/Dragonaut%20-%2002%20-%20Large%2015.jpg to http://www.mangahere.com/manga/dragonaut_the_resonance/v01/c006/28.html |
greed2Nov 12, 2013 11:12 PM
Nov 13, 2013 6:20 AM
#34
| I just came up with ideas for Alternate endings! The first one involves the Jun/Katsuko dilemma from Unsweet - Netorare Ochita Onnatachi. Only in this one, it's Katsuko that takes action. The second one involves the Bull-Shit from the True Blue Series. Where right before the end of the second episode, the gym teacher gets caught in the act and gets hauled away by the police. More on that later because I have to go to work now. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 13, 2013 9:04 AM
#35
| It would be Interesting if the guy takes action, something out of Blue eyes, but your choice. It is good to know that you sound more sympathetic to Katsuko. As for True Blue, I do hope you have the kid use his bat to at least break the gym teacher's arm. |
Nov 13, 2013 1:29 PM
#36
greed2 said: It would be Interesting if the guy takes action, something out of Blue eyes, but your choice. It is good to know that you sound more sympathetic to Katsuko. As for True Blue, I do hope you have the kid use his bat to at least break the gym teacher's arm. I'd rather have Akito use his bat to crack that Teacher's Skull. =/ But for now, the first idea goes first. Though I might consider letting Jun take action instead of Katsuko (No Promises). Oh and F.Y.I., there might not be any graphic activity in this one like in my last story. Maybe in the True Blue one. Furthermore, this could take a while longer than I thought. There are 3 ways I can go about this. But I'm not sure where to start. |
Sheild0731Nov 13, 2013 2:40 PM
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 13, 2013 5:02 PM
#37
| Oohh, break a skull, nice. Akito's plan. First record Shoda trying to rape his girl, using his phone, then come in and use a bat. p.s, just curious. Have you seen Blue Eyes manga, there was an interesting scene where a certain NTR rapist had FAIL thanks to a random supernatural occurrence, where I got the idea of the assistance of the devil (or god, which ever you prefer), and the last we seen him was having his organ sold. Did you see that? |
Nov 13, 2013 5:57 PM
#38
greed2 said: Oohh, break a skull, nice. Akito's plan. First record Shoda trying to rape his girl, using his phone, then come in and use a bat. p.s, just curious. Have you seen Blue Eyes manga, there was an interesting scene where a certain NTR rapist had FAIL thanks to a random supernatural occurrence, where I got the idea of the assistance of the devil (or god, which ever you prefer), and the last we seen him was having his organ sold. Did you see that? Which Blue Eyes volume was that? The first one? |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 13, 2013 7:14 PM
#39
greed2 said: Oh, so you didn't see it, anyway it is volume seven, around page 120, if you use that internet site I gave you for unsweet ntr. So that rather SUPER COOL random supernatural gave birth to my "devil's contract," as I had imagine that Tatsuya Hibino made a deal with the "devil" (incase you didn't notice, it is put in quotations for a reason). The "devil" gave Tatsuya Hibino the power of "time leap," so he can do things such as getting a straight jacket, then erased his memories about his their meeting, after he was done "time leaping," to discuss about the "cost" later. The concept can be similar to this couple pages example. http://www.mangahere.com/manga/defense_devil/v01/c014/15.html I wish all NTR plots had a sequel like that. NISHIMAKI Tohru has my upmost respect. Ha ha, I just wished I could see Luke's face as he get his organs ripped off while having no anesthetics. In the words of Accelerator, "I would have love to see him scream to the top of his lungs as he loses his voice in a beautiful fashion." Anyway, in short, that rather nice scene gave me "proof" that the "devil" does indeed exist and is the ultimate cure for any NTR plot as the "devil" is usually disgusted with a rather disgusting "script" that needs to be "re-written." p.s the idea of "time leap" derives from the film "the girl that leapt through time," incase you didn't notice up till now. and tell me how you enjoy that nice scene from Blue Eyes. Well put. But I'm more concerned about my unsweet project. I'm pretty much re-writing the second half of Chapter 3. Or I can write something that happens after the story ended which results in Jun & Katsuko getting back together (for good this time). See, Jun would've found a way to overcome his loss of trust towards Katsuko. See, sometimes you have to take a leap of faith first. The trust part comes later. I know, that was from Man of Steel. But that applies in reality too. Sadly it didn't apply in this hentai. So that's what's going on here. Jun eventually trusts Katsuko again. But I have no way of going about this. Though I have decided on how Kazuya get's killed. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 13, 2013 7:33 PM
#40
| Gotcha, sorry if I overstating my "beliefs" of my "devil's" contract.,I was simply giveing my "cure" more strength, if you are using it, most people find it hard to put their "cure" into their imagination; one person mentioned how they imagine trying to kill the rapist as a cure, but it is sometimes hard to do that. Anyway, I wasn't trying to invoke a plot for you to use if that is what you may be thinking. Again, good luck with any project, I will be interested if someone dies Higurashi no Naku Koro ni style. Please bury a certain someone, alive, if possible. p.s And Sorry for the initial broken english, of how I first post this, I ran into a bit of problems with my computer. |
greed2Nov 15, 2013 1:06 AM
Nov 14, 2013 8:03 PM
#41
| FINISHED!! My Unsweet Netorare...whatever story is completed. But I'll upload it later. I'm tired. But just a reminder, this story is not as graphic as my last story. So if your expecting a torture sequence or a Mortal Kombat fatality, your out of luck. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 14, 2013 8:48 PM
#42
| As I may have implied, my only concern is if the girl and guy would be together. Anything else is irrelevant. If there is action, then the least I would expect is, in the words of Kisame, a "nice clean cut" to end everything and the two love birds would be together. My second concern is a "personality change." I seen my fair share of a rather calm and composed characters doing something out of their character once they experience a really large negative feeling. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci3NHgjBz2M A nice change in personality, in a WEAK male main character would be nice. Also, if possible, here are two other ones that you can think about, for me I did my "devil's contract," but you will likely of think of something else nice. I'm sure, like Convolvolus, there are people that got trolled by both of these when the the author was B*STARD enough to change it from Vanilla to NTR on his annoying whim. Chijo-nee to! Himitsu no Hara Hara Seikatsu! Tachibana San’s Circumstances With A Man Anyway, I will look forward to the Unsweet Fanfic, especially the plot twist. Like Maybe Jun and Katsuko were caught anyway later by the school higher-ups, and then later elope as they become on the run, then later went to a foreign country. Or something else. Either way, I am curious if a "rapist" dies. |
greed2Nov 15, 2013 12:24 AM
Nov 15, 2013 5:15 AM
#43
| Hold on! I never said anything about a plot twist. But anyway, I got some bad news in terms of the story's content. Things got REALLY distracting at work and elsewhere away from this website. So distracting that I went on a different direction. Therefore, this story is mostly Softcore and it takes place after the story ended. I did manage to get Kazuya killed off (by his ex-girlfriend). But that's the only death scene. Here it is. --> *Link moved to first post I'm gonna take a break for a while. |
Sheild0731Nov 23, 2013 4:49 PM
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 15, 2013 9:35 AM
#44
| Sorry sorry, I meant IF there is a plot twist. The rather interesting twist was that a certain someone was killed by his ex-girlfreind, and I was hoping Jun would do the job. Anyway, I had enjoyed how a certain person dies in an artistic fashion. It reminded me of a certain rape anime that a rapist "acted like world revolved around him" as he continued raping girls, only for him to get stabbed by one of the girls he raped. I had a sadistic feeling when he made his final pathetic expression as he was first stabbed and he was finally getting what he deserved. on the random note, it is funny you put a certain ending, it reminds me of something http://manga.animea.net/unbalance-x-unbalance-chapter-64-page-7.html Speaking of Ex, in Sakiko-san’s Man Issues please kill a certain old man. Since they cut it then I can imagine you will enjoy making a sequel. |
greed2Nov 15, 2013 3:24 PM
Nov 15, 2013 3:29 PM
#45
greed2 said: Sorry sorry, I meant IF there is a plot twist. The rather interesting twist was that a certain someone was killed by his ex-girlfreind, and I was hoping Jun would do the job. Anyway, I had enjoyed how a certain person dies in an artistic fashion. It reminded me of a certain rape anime that a rapist "acted like world revolved around him" as he continued raping girls, only for him to get stabbed by one of the girls he raped. I had a sadistic feeling when he made his final pathetic expression as he was first stabbed and he was finally getting what he deserved. on the random note, it is funny you put a certain ending, it reminds me of something http://manga.animea.net/unbalance-x-unbalance-chapter-64-page-7.html Speaking of Ex, in Sakiko-san’s Man Issues please kill a certain old man. Since they cut it then I can imagine you will enjoy making a sequel. Man Issues? Sakiko? Never heard of them... |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 15, 2013 4:02 PM
#46
| It is in my first post, and it is one title. Of course, I can imagine you would do something different from a Devil's contract. Like the anime, Reunion, I will see if you will ever throw anything randomly supernatural. |
greed2Nov 16, 2013 7:53 PM
Nov 18, 2013 4:57 AM
#47
| Okay, the break is over. As soon as I'm off work, it's True Blue's turn for the "treatment". But I'll have to watch the 3 anime episodes just to see what I'm working with. Then decide whether or not to make a harem ending. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 19, 2013 7:45 AM
#48
| Damn it... I wanted to do a death scene. But the end of True Blue Gaiden beat me to it. Oh well, I'm taking a break from the violence with this story. When read, it'll feel like you're watching an episode of Wicked Attraction. |
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
Nov 19, 2013 12:20 PM
#49
| You already told me this never interested you. But I will just put it up anyway to see if anything occurs. Out of exceptionally large hatred for Shoda, and for his weak self, Akito made a “Devil’s Contract” to use a time leap kill Shoda when he was about to rape Kanzaki Aoi. The only reason he made the contract was simply out of hatred, as he wanted his chance to kill Shoda, and the other guy, so his heart was initially closed to others; because Akito had made a "devil's contract" then he gained a few advantages, such as having his court trial "rigged" so he was declared "not guilty" on the same day he entered the court, he wasn't expelled for his bloody manner of killing Shoda, Shoda's or the other guy's relatives, who could be corrupt politicians, were killed in an "accident" (think luck stealer manga) when they were about to give Akito hell, and Akito can kill anyone else and still get away with it. While the media did put Shoda as a evil teacher that was about to rape a female student, as well as the fact that he was killed by a male student, they did not put up Akito up because he was a minor; of course Akito had rec how Shoda was going to rape Aoi, using his phone, then stepped in to kill Shoda, so the court had deemed his actions all justified (though Akito "never recalled" himself doing that to begin with). Anyway, Akito gained some other supernatural abilities, such as having a "sixth sense" as he killed Kaya's ugly rapist, I don't know his name, when he was about to rape Kaya, Akito teleported the moment when chubby was tearing off her clothes; Akito's method of kill was using a large kanabō that he can materialize on the whim. Back to Akito resuming his everyday school life, at first, he can be described by a "deadman" by Aoi due to his rather new cold personality as he "closed his heart" to others. Until the "devil" showed both Aoi and Kaya his memories, out or remorse and love, they agreed to share Akito; basically a harem ending found in School Days, where Akito slowly "regained his heart" agian. Akito had used the "devil's" power so he can have a harem wedding in Japan. Akito is good friends with Okino Kazuki (Otomedori), who introduced him to the "devil," due to their similar history, and who also Akito's co-worker. Akito is currently working for the "devil" to spread his "devil's contract" to people similar to him; the devil gives Akito a rather GOOD pay. Anyway, an extra, a massive abuse example of the "devil's" power. Secretary - "Prime Minister, you wife just sent you a letter." Akito- "My wife huh, I wonder which one?" He says as he looks at a photo of his wives on the day he married both them, as his powers made polygamy possible. |
greed2Nov 20, 2013 12:29 AM
Nov 19, 2013 2:26 PM
#50
| Damn! And I wrote most of the story already BEFORE you posted. I would've use some of that then. Oh well, maybe next time. Because as stated earlier, I'm taking a break from the violence on this one. It's nothing to wow about, I had Shudo and the chubby student arrested by another victim (In True Blue Gaiden, Shudo was fucking another woman before fucking Kaya. I used that). Right now, I'm close to the end. Furthermore, The chubby student bugging Kaya all the time, he's nameless (a minority character). |
Sheild0731Nov 19, 2013 3:28 PM
| I wish Nailkaizer is my wife. Don't know her? Look ---> http://myanimelist.net/character/13615/Nailkaizer |
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