| "Sorry." |
| Lucas closed his eyes, trying to calm down. |
| "If you really want to know about my dream...most of it was disjointed but, in part of it, I saw a vampire called Evan Forester. He was a friend of mine when I was with Alistair, but....he died." |
| "Yeah." |
| "In my dream...he kept telling me I'd gone too far, that I'd lost myself and I'd never find my way back...that I'd get more people killed than just him." |
| "At the lake...Elianna...one of the reasons she made me so mad is because when she talked about Evan's death she said that I took his head off, that I was the one who killed him when she knew that of wasn't true. What WAS true was that it was partially my fault Evan was killed, but the person who actually did kill him was the Chicago chief of police. And how he found out vampires existed well...that's also my fault and that is a whole other story." |
| "I...used to be pretty careless....Evan was always the person to help me when I went too far, even when I pushed him away, even when I didn't want to be careful." |
| "Alistair never used to do the blood bag thing. We used to go out almost every night, choose someone...we were never supposed to kill them of course, that would attract too much attention, but Sometimes....it was hard not to.'' |
| "Once I did kill someone, by accident. A girl called Kelly Jacobs. I thought if I just ignored it, it would go away but it didn't. the police chief's daughter, she was obsessed vampires, thought they were real, but he didn't believe her, until he found Evan trying to cover up Kelly's death for me." |
| "And then he killed him. His daughter had put a bunch of fucking wooden stakes in the back of his car." |
| "Yeah...cheesy movie death number one." Lucas said. "Anyway, after that I sort of...went off the deep end. You should understand that Evan was the only person who reminded me of my humanity and let me hold on to what it felt like. After he died, whatever was left of it just...disappeared." |
| "I was so hell bent on trying to get back at him." |
| "I didn't...in the end." |
| "But I almost did." |
| "Yeah...." |
| "I guess I'm just scared. I've lost control before and now that I'm...a whole other kind of monster I don't know what I could do." |
| "Thanks." |
| Lucas whistled. "Don't you say that in front of Josef; he'll have a panic attack. 'Oh help I'm in a serious relationship!'." He laughed. |
| "Ah, I see.'' |
| Never mind. Doesn't matter.'' |
| "Really, it doesn't matter." |
| "No." |
| "I said no okay?! Just-" he stopped, taking a deep breath. "Just, stop." |
| Lucas sighed. |
| "Why did this have to happen?" |
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