I'd want to request the deletion of my laterst char Miya. I feel like she could've been much more and want to do another char which I worked out better
Just ranking his powers. Like at rank F, he's weak. By rank C, he's stronger than when he was at the starting rank by a considerable amount. Don't worry, nothing overpowered. It's more like, I'm just making the strength of my character more clear.
Here is my updated entry. Feel free to ask me what should I need to change or remove in my entry.
Thanks in advance~!
Name: Inconnu Justicia
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Power: [Blitzritter] Skill Arsenal
Power Explanation:
1. Fatum Floris (Flower of Fate) [Rank F] - In order to take effect, Inconnu must wound himself with a single [Despair], and let it soak all over. After it, the blood-soaked [Despair] is now ready to use. [Mechanics] To enemies (as an anti-armor ability):
a. Once it hit to an enemy, the black rose will grow on the same spot where the [Despair] hit the enemy. The black rose will stay in 10 minutes.
b. It decreases target's overall armor by 20%, though other enemies (max. of 3) nearby the target can receive the effect by 10%. It still need to throw [Despair] to them. The enemies' overall armor will go back to normal after the black rose gone. To allies (as a healing ability):
a. It needs to wound an ally to take effect. (Have no worry; once it's done, the ally will still recover his/her wound created by [Despair].) The white rose will grow on the ground where the ally's blood drips.
b. It heals an ally by 20%. Also, it will automatically link to other nearby allies, except to Inconnu. Both of these mechanics will work once in a day.
2. Metanoia (Repentance) [Rank E] - Covered in a faint and small crimson lightning, he travels at 5 m/s and swings [Kuugeki] at a speed of 75 m/s, in a time limit of 5 minutes. If he creates a cut on an enemy using [Kuugeki], he then will call the copy of his crimson claymore, Sanguis. The copy then appears in the cut, pierces through the enemy. Advantage:
a. As he creates the copies of his claymore to the wound/s of his enemy, it can slow the enemy down (or slowly kills it) due to its weight. b. Any ally can pull the copy off from the enemy, and be used as a weapon. The copy would weigh 75% of the original weight of [Sanguis] (The total weight of [Sanguis] is said to be 2.5 kilograms). Disadvantage:
a. The copy will stay in 5 minutes.
b. The copy which had been stabbed the target can get 'noticed'. So the enemy will pull it off, and can be used as its weapon. The weight of the copy, however, will revert to the weight of the original [Sanguis].
c. In order for the copies of the claymore to appear, [Kuugeki] must be sheathe first after Inconnu created a cut on an enemy.
d. Every copy he calls results to an enemy's salvation, in a cost of 12 hours of not using [Metanoia] per copy, plus a muscular strain as he tries to move around and swing [Kuugeki] to 75 m/s. Also, he can only create up to 4 copies in a single day; thus the total time will be 48 hours, or 2 days.
Personality:
He has a slight cold-hearted nature, due to the incident in Misericordia. He wants to be friends with anyone, yet he spends his quality time alone, like calling Jupiter or Etherea or reading books. He accidentally scares people due to his nigh presence.
Though he has those aspects, he is ready to protect and willing to sacrifice himself just to make his comrades safe and sound.
Bio:
Traversing their way from their home country (the fictional country Misericordia) as the "exiled ones", Inconnu, together with Jupiter and Etherea, slay evil as they are trying to find their long-lost member, Michelle. 2 years after Michelle's disappearance, they've decided to split up. Jupiter chose to go in Russia, and Etherea in Italy. Nowhere to go, Inconnu decided to go in Japan, a country where everything he doesn't know really happen. Carrying only his sword, a set of knives, memories from Misericordia and the atonement for the countless lives he turned into nothingness, Inconnu readies to accept his fate while continues to find Michelle in a place where supernaturals can be found -- that is Mirai High.
Note: Texts in red indicate the new skills and/or ranking update, texts in blue indicate remodeling and/or additional info, and texts in black are already confirmed during [Character Creation].
@InconnuJusticia
You simply added two more unrelated abilities onto the powers he already had. That's not a change, it's a straight up buff, and an undeserved one at that.
Furthermore there's no indication he has ever used a gun in his life, so it makes very little sense for him to use one. He can still have the gun, but you'll really have to downplay his skill with it or else you'd be borderline godmodding.
Im glad i have the ability to recongnize names lol yay me so chad kuro and renji okashia are them so delete them both for jezabel windhelm plz @Redptolemy
Want to delete all mycharacters. They're all sort of shit.
There's a lady who's sure
All that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed With a word she can get what she came for Oh oh oh oh and she's buying a stairway to heaven
This is the re-entry for the 'fresh start' of my character (there could have any coincidences). Feel free to give me your judgment about this.
Thanks in advance~!
Note: Texts in italics are just the descriptions of his skills. Please ignore those, if you don't want to read them.
Name: Inconnu Justicia
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Power: Ritter der Sühne
Power Explanation:
1. Tacita Clamore (Silent Cry) [Rank F]
"He cries silently not for the sake of his atonement, but for the sake of the innocent lives he turn up into nothingness."
Changing the aura color from bright-red to purplish-white due to overcharge and resonance, [Doppelblutklingen] can cut almost anything* in its way.
Usage: 5 slashes per mission
Cooldown time: 1 minute per slash, 30 minutes after mission ends (even this skill is not all used up)
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Add. Info:
After the slash, the blades will automatically revert to red.
In order to use [Tacita Clamore] after the cooldown, both pommels of [Doppelblutklingen] must be hit on each other and the aura color will shift to purplish-white again.
The resonance limit is UHF (ultra-high frequency, a frequency between 300 MHz - 3 GHz).
* - There are objects than can never cut easily through a single slash, like layers of different materials, due to the molecular resonance limit.
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2. Onus Tabellarius (Burden Carrier) [Rank F]
"He carries half of the burden of his allies in the name of Despair."
Transforming a single [Despair] into a thin lightning with the same shape of [Despair], he throws it to his ally and heals up to 20% of current pain and suffering from his ally. In return, Inconnu will receive that 20% from his ally being hit by [Despair].
Usage: once per mission
Cooldown time: 1 hour after the mission ends
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Add. Info:
The pain Inconnu received from his ally will appear exactly what body part has pain (e.g., arm pain from an ally will appear exactly on Inconnu's arm).
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3. Engel des Krieges (Angel of War) [Rank D]
"Bestowed by the war angel's manifestation, those who stand against this silent knight will never stand a chance."
Creates a physical manifestation of the angel of war, Gadreel, onto himself. He moves at (not exceeding to) 7.5 m/s and swings his weapon at (not exceeding to) 75 m/s. As he attacks the enemy, the enemy's wounds might not recover naturally, letting it's blood and agony pour out.
Usage time: 5 minutes
Cooldown time: 24 hours
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Disadvantage:
a. During the usage time, the pain he receives will double, even the small incision from enemy.
b. The rate which the enemy's wound will never recover naturally is only 15%.
c. After using, the muscular pain on his arms and legs will appear.
d. The enemy's wounds can be healed by Rank F healing magic, while the 'special' wounds (wounds that cannot recover naturally) can be healed by Rank D healing magic.
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Add. Info:
To activate this ability, the pommels of [Doppelblutklingen] must tap to each other.
To enter the transformation phase, he need to speak these words: "De morte innocentium. Redde mihi eam, et victima."
> In "De morte innocentium.", [Doppelblutklingen] will switch to [Kuugeki Vers], a sheathed mode of [Kuugeki].
> In "Redde mihi eam,...", he unsheathes [Kuugeki] and the edges are on the wrist of his right arm. After it, he needs to create a cut on the wrist.
> At the moment when a drop of blood falls in land, he must say: "...et victima." The white-and-red mist appears around Inconnu, completing the transformation process.
Although he creates Gadreel's physical manifestation, it has no additional effects.
Personality:
> He is brave, yet he has a slight cold attitude. Despite his cold attitude, he is willing to sacrifice himself just to make his comrades safe.
> He likes to read any books, except the romantic ones.
> He calls Jupiter or Etherea when he needs to.
> Due to his nigh presence, he often scares people.
Bio:
Traversing their way from their home country (the fictional country Misericordia) as the 'exiled ones', Inconnu, together with Jupiter von Kravovik and Etherea Universum, slay evil as they are trying to find their long-lost member, Michelle. 2 years after Michelle's disappearance, they've decided to split up. Jupiter chose to go in Russia, and Etherea in Italy. Nowhere to go, Inconnu decided to go in Tokyo, where everything he doesn't know happen. Carrying only his sword, a set of knives, memories from Misericordia and the atonement for the countless lives he turned into nothingness, Inconnu readies to accept his fate while continues to find Michelle in a place where supernaturals can be found -- that is Mirai High.
@InconnuJusticia
You did a good job balancing each power, however you put all the cool downs in minutes/hours which are impossible to keep track of in RP. It would be great if you could list them in "posts" instead. For example, 5 minutes could be 3 or 4 posts.
Furthermore, there's no guarantee that the only time his power will be used is on missions, unless you mean that the power can only be used on missions in which case just ignore this.
So,...
a. Every slashes for [Tacita Clamore] will be enough for one post.
b. Never worry about [Onus Tabellarius], since once per mission.
c. And, for [Engel des Krieges]... Guess 3 to 4 posts will be good enough for its 'usage time'.
d. Overall, I need to think critically about their cooldown time stuff. I need to use my creative imagination about it.
@InconnuJusticia
Make it a two post cooldown for [Tacita Clamore] and I'll be happy. That way there's a reasonable risk-reward aspect to the skill where missing his strike will leave him vulnerable.