New
Oct 17, 2010 10:47 AM
#1
| Hello, I'm new in MyAnimeList...I found this wonderful club and decided to join in ^^ And coincidentally, I'd like to have all of you as Tohru x Natsuno fans to comment my Tohru x Natsuno BL doujinshi project storyboard which I've written below (upon request of my friend who wanted to draw the doujin). You can give critiques or bash me for my lack of writing skills or the story though ^^; I got an idea to create the doujin story based on the heart breaking scenes in episode 12 between Tohru & Natsuno~ Sorry if there are any parts/scenes of which are out of the originals DX ~ warning! : SPOILERS alert!! ~ [10.30 PM in Natsuno’s bedroom – Natsuno lied down on his bed and his condition was weakening drastically after the ferocious blood sucking attack from his dear friend, Tohru last night. He was panting due to breathing difficulties as he was in lack of blood; having a serious and critical anemia. He was thinking why all of this has befallen especially to his best friend. It had been no matter for him if he was facing Shimizu Megumi or other ‘okiagari’ villagers. To him Tohru was a kind guy who liked by other villagers even the cocky spoiled Masao. Defiantly, he admitted Tohru already had a special place inside his heart as most of his treasured memories have Tohru all the time though he came to hate the village that they are living in]. =Flashbacks= (In the jungle) Natsuno: [Feeling reluctant, he threw the hammer and stake aside] It’s so unfair!! Why didn’t you act more like a real vampire!? Why must you show your old self like this in front of me!? Tohru: Natsuno… Natsuno: If you get hungry, you can suck my blood. Let’s think of a good solution together. Until then if you have to kill others, suck my blood instead. [Offering his left hand and walking closer towards Tohru] Tohru: [Getting wary as his vampire senses were throbbing hard] Natsuno: And then let’s go somewhere Tatsumi and the others can’t find us. [Extending his left hand to offer his blood] Tohru: [His face changed thinking of how scary Tatsumi can be] **Trembling** Impossible! We can never escape from him!! Natsuno: Suck my blood then, Tohru-chan! Tohru: [Kneeling down and screaming in agony as part of him being hesitant; refused to have Natsuno’s blood again and another part of him almost lost to madness because of the hungriness] Natsuno: Tohru-chan! [He was stretching his hand to touch Tohru’s shoulder]. [Tohru made a quick turn and had Natsuno pinned down under him. Both of Natsuno’s hands were securely locked on the ground. Then he immersed his sharp fangs mercilessly into the exposed neck and so he had his second filling with Natsuno’s blood]. Natsuno: **Trembling weakly** Tohru-chan… Tsk! [He was gritting his teeth to endure the pain from a pair of poisoned fangs that struck him. He could feel his blood was gushing out rapidly, racing inside Tohru’s cold mouth]. Tohru: [sucking continuously at Natsuno’s slender neck until his beast-like hunger subdued and later he stared at Natsuno who was already looked frail with eyes closed. Horrified and out of guilty he called Natsuno.] Tohru: Natsuno… [He called in panic while shaking Natsuno gently to wake him up] Natsuno: [Opened his eyes slowly and groaned in pain]. Don’t call me that… Tohru: [With tears in his eyes] I’m sorry Natsuno…I had to do this…I cannot handle the killing hunger even for a day since that night. **referring to the 1st time he tasted Natsuno’s blood** [He traced Natsuno’s temple with his cold left hand down to the bite marks he left earlier. He saw little blood was trickling out from the spots. He leaned his head towards Natsuno’s neck and started to lick as an effort to stop it from flowing out. His mind was overflowing with so much remorse and shamefulness because he had betrayed his best friend by allowing the sin of thinking his dearest friend as a prey conquered his will]. Natsuno: [Flustered upon hearing Tohru’s words] Tohru-chan, please… stop… [Natsuno’s pale face flushed as he felt tickles on his neck. Tohru was unconsciously raining him with butterfly kisses and muttering words of apology. Somehow Natsuno felt even more pain in his chest when he felt Tohru’s tears endlessly dropping on his face and seeing what Tohru was doing to him]. Tohru: It drives me mad and could not think of anything accept taking…...you. **sobs** Creatures like us could even die in hunger like humans do. I’m sorry, Natsuno. **crying** =End of flashbacks= [Around 11.45 PM – Natsuno’s father came inside the bedroom to check on Natsuno. He looked so worried seeing his son was lying gravely on bed, getting paler and sicker. Suddenly Natsuno asked his father to unlock and open the window]:- Natsuno: **panting** Tousan, can you open the window for me please? Father: [The older man was opening and sliding the window a bit]. Aren’t you cold? Natsuno: No… I like this better. Somehow, I’m having difficulty breathing, so….. Father: Natsuno, if you’re not doing well, why don’t I take you to the big hospital in the city tomorrow? It might be something psychological. They’ll probably give you medicine or something. Natsuno: I can take your White Horse* too. [Not sure what Natsuno meant about, probably his father’s car or something] Father: [Slightly smiled. He walked towards his son’s bed and placed his palm on Natsuno’s forehead]. Don’t get carried away. Well then, I’ll come and check on you from time to time. [He slid his hand and gave a gentle ruffle on the boy’s head]. Natsuno: [Replied in a weak tone]. Ah. (After Natsuno’s father walked out from the room, Natsuno gazed at the window, realizing there was a shadowy figure which he known was staring at him all the time with a pair of glowing crimson eyes. As he could not move an inch in his futon, he decided to let whatever situation would lead him to while closing his eyes. Natsuno could feel the presence of ‘him’ getting closer.) Tohru: [Standing outside the window] Natsuno… [He called with his usual tone, but with a gloomy, full of guilty look while tapping the window glass]. Natsuno: **Panting** So you’ve came….. I’m expecting you. Tohru: [Entered the room in a swift movement and standing by Natsuno’s bedside. Then he kneeled down looking at ailing Natsuno who could only lie straight and weakening on his bed]. Tohru: Natsuno…I…Am I such a useless friend after all this happened between us? Do you hate me for this? I didn’t mean any to harm you nor to suffer you like this…Forgive me! [He took Natsuno’s fragile left hand and holding it tight. Tohru’s tears started to roll down again]. Natsuno: [Tilted his head and staring at Tohru solemnly]. Tohru-chan… Tohru: **Shaky voice** Natsuno… If it wasn’t because of Kirisaki’s curse bestowed upon Sotoba village, both of us would have been hanging around together until we have successfully graduated right? And your dream to enter the city’s college would have been come true. I had been thinking if I could follow you too. And I’ve always cherish the time we spent together but not like this. [Tohru touched and caressing Natsuno’s feverish cheek]. Natsuno: [He gripped weakly at Tohru’s holding hands]. Tohru-chan… You were…the only person in this village who…got the privilege to stick close to me…You were such…a persistent guy and I admit that…you are the only friend whom I acknowledged…even until…you are in this form…… **breathing heavily** Tohru: [His eyes widened and feeling touched after hearing those words. Suddenly he felt his vampire senses has started to urge]. Natsuno: [Already knew the cue which is happening in Tohru]. You want to know something, Tohru-chan…? I have been thinking and…I decided that I would rather let myself die…by your hands, my only best friend. This is far better than……by Shimizu’s or other okiagari villagers…And it would be even worst if that jerk Tatsumi killed me! **coughs and inhales** If it is you Tohru-chan, I won’t have any regret… [He gave a weak smile and closed his eyes slowly; giving a signal that Tohru could drink his blood at anytime and end his anemic suffers]. Tohru: [With tears nonstop streaming down his cheeks]. Natsuno…! **cries** Natsuno..! [Tohru pulled Natsuno’s limp body tried to get it up slowly and wrapped his cold arms around Natsuno’s slim shoulders] Tohru: I love you! I love you, Natsuno! Since always! Chikusho!! [Tohru felt a bit happy but he cursed the cruel fate that awaits his beloved friend]. Natsuno: [Hearing the surprise confession from Tohru, Natsuno was hardly lifting his hands and patted the sobbing cold body that embraced him]. Tohru-chan… I…love you too… Tohru: [He stared at Natsuno’s bloodless face almost in disbelief and saw the other person’s faint smile. Feeling reassured, he pulled Natsuno closer to claim his chapped lips and Natsuno had willingly surrendered to him. This is going to be his first kiss and maybe the last to be shared with his beloved. He will treasure this moment the most because he would not know how long Natsuno will last after he goes for his third filling]. Natsuno: [He gasped; felt the freezing lips and tongue slowly invading his for a long deep kiss. Even though it was just a kiss, he felt as if his life is being sucked away. In a short moment, he showed a struggle for air]. Tohru: [Released Natsuno and staring deeply into his half lidded eyes, telling him to be prepared for another painful and scariest moment that he is going to deliver onto him]. Tohru: Natsuno… [He called gently but a bit hesitant and afraid. His mind, will and feelings were fighting against the sin that he is going to commit but he could not help about it. Once again, his tears had welled up]. Natsuno: [Saw the pair of crimson eyes is brightly glowing. He knew if Tohru delayed any longer he will be going into berserk and suffering in pain again. And so, he gave a weak reply and started to loosen his pajama collar buttons]. Natsuno: Ah… [While exposing his collarbone, he said few words to Tohru with the kindest smile he has ever given to him]. Natsuno: Tohru-chan…This is it…It has been fun spending time with you…I never regret for every moments and seconds we have been shared altogether…I love you~ **Closing his eyes** Tohru: **Crying** I love you too, Natsuno... [He grabbed Natsuno’s shoulders and pulling him for his third bite and blood feast]. Tohru: I’m sorry… [It was the last words he could whisper before his fangs reached Natsuno’s fair skin]. =END= |
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Oct 27, 2010 9:59 AM
#2
(In the jungle) In the wh... dude, are they suddenly in Africa? That was a forest IMO Don't like romanized words. :< Makes me ZETSUBOU Frankly, it's very short, plus half of the plot is a description of what had happened in anime. Your frend wants to just redraw the scenes? You have a decent writing style, but this work is not enough. |
Nov 21, 2010 5:27 PM
#3
| OH...MY...GOD!!!! That was the GREATEST story EVER!!!!!! Please I BEG OF YOU.....PLEASE MAKE A CONTINUATION OF THE STORY!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS STORY, AND KEEP ON WRITING!!! |
Jan 8, 2011 4:34 AM
#4
| According to Manga version White Horse was some kind of whisky. Story isn't bad, but I agree with Snowley half of sTORY is just anime scenes. Well good luck and work hard! |
Apr 29, 2011 9:54 AM
#5
| i LOVED this story haha ^_^ make more please |
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