February 21st, 2012
Ibitsu
*Disclaimer: This is all opinion based. If you don't agree feel free to leave me message or a comment :D
** Warning, spoilers ahead.
What Worked:
Most people agree that the best part of this story is the art work. Characters are rendered in a way that is both beautiful and terrifying. The detail on the Lolita is stunning; her long fingers and frightening jack-o-lantern grin make the character seem like something straight from a nightmare. I often judge a scary story by asking the question "would it make me regret walking into a dark room at night?" The answer is a definite yes. She will be around every corner waiting with a hammer, or peering at you from inside your closet. It's a very chilling story, and I found my self getting drawn in very quickly.
What Didn't Work:
1. Character's decisions don't make sense.
There are tremendous leaps of logic on several occasions. For example, Hikari goes into her brothers apartment after he STRONGLY cautions her not to, and once there she stays and chats with the Lolita who just held a knife to her face, Kazuki doesn't suspect a thing after his sister doesn't return home (even though he knows the Lolita is gunning for her), the list goes on.
2. The Lolita is never fully explained.
Is she real or a ghost? The manga can't seem to make up its mind. Her story is posted on an urban legends website, leading us to believe she is dead. However, later we find out that she was a patient in a mental hospital, but then we are told she might not even be that person. The end result comes across very confusing.
3. Kazuki does not change one bit throughout the whole story.
Kazuki has no character growth whatsoever. He learns nothing throughout the duration of the manga. We see clearly in the beginning that he is willing to tell off the Lolita, even going so far as to say that he will kill her. Thus, bravery was never an issue for him. You could say that he goes insane near the end, and I would agree, but my main problem is how he reacted when he lost his entire family. Kazuki doesn't seem that phased. As I stated before, Kazuki is not worried at all when his sister doesn't return home. In fact, he barely mentions her. The same thing goes for when his parents die. All we get is a look of shock and horror and that's it. Nothing about how much he misses them, which is odd since the story is very centered around the concept of family.
Fixing these problems:
In my opinion, the story should have been more focused of the relationship between Kazuki and Hikari. Maybe, he could have had another sister that passed away due to some fault of Hikari. For example, a car crash, or perhaps they could have been twins in the other sister died in the womb. The Lolita would be a physical manifestation of Kazuki's inner most feelings. She would represent his deep hatred of Hikari, for taking away the other sister he could have had. The Lolita would take on a whole new dimension, as not only a ghost, but a representation of his subconscious. The wounds she inflicts on herself would be a metaphor for all the damage Kazuki caused Hikari, as he continually blames for for the death of their sister. This would also give the final moments of the manga more depth. Through the Lolita Kazuki would be subjected to the same torture he inflicted upon Hikari. Such as alienation, ridicule, impossible standards, ect.
Hikari's character could stay pretty much the same, innocent and always eager to help her brother (like my cooking meals for him, and cleaning his apartment). This could make it all the more devastating to Hikari when the Lolita does these things and Kazuki praises her for it, leaving Hikari under appreciated and hurt.
Instead of having the Lolita murder Hikari at their school, perhaps instead it could taken place at Hikari's house. She would have a friend over for moral support, that way we could still have that gruesome scene where the girl gets smashed by the hammer for the sake of horror. There could still be a thrilling chase scene too, since I'm assuming she lives in an apartment complex like her brother. Perhaps, Kazuki could go by to check on Hikari, only to find that his sister has been killed. He would then reminisce about how his sister REALLY was, how she was benevolent and loving. His twisted perception of Hikari would be shattered, and Kazuki would be a person changed by the forced reflection that comes with loss. As for the parents, maybe when they died he could pull out an old photo album, crying as he looks through the pages of an old life forever lost. This would make all the deaths that much more devastating. Perhaps, as he is looking at these photos the Lolita's shadow is cast over them, sealing the fate. A fate that we should not be told about before hand. The manga gives us literal foreknowledge that the Lolita is going to kill him, this takes away much of the suspense, and renders Kazuki's "climatic" death just a foregone conclusion. We should have no prior knowledge of the Lolita or her myths, thus making her even more mysterious.
The end result is a dynamic story with much more interesting characters. Having the Lolita be a vivid representation of Kazuki's emotions forces him to so something very brave; he must confront himself. It would also give new meaning to the title "Twisted", meaning Kazuki's skewed and twisted perception of his sister, not seeing her for what she really is, and thus; not seeing the Lolita for what she really is either.
** Warning, spoilers ahead.
What Worked:
Most people agree that the best part of this story is the art work. Characters are rendered in a way that is both beautiful and terrifying. The detail on the Lolita is stunning; her long fingers and frightening jack-o-lantern grin make the character seem like something straight from a nightmare. I often judge a scary story by asking the question "would it make me regret walking into a dark room at night?" The answer is a definite yes. She will be around every corner waiting with a hammer, or peering at you from inside your closet. It's a very chilling story, and I found my self getting drawn in very quickly.
What Didn't Work:
1. Character's decisions don't make sense.
There are tremendous leaps of logic on several occasions. For example, Hikari goes into her brothers apartment after he STRONGLY cautions her not to, and once there she stays and chats with the Lolita who just held a knife to her face, Kazuki doesn't suspect a thing after his sister doesn't return home (even though he knows the Lolita is gunning for her), the list goes on.
2. The Lolita is never fully explained.
Is she real or a ghost? The manga can't seem to make up its mind. Her story is posted on an urban legends website, leading us to believe she is dead. However, later we find out that she was a patient in a mental hospital, but then we are told she might not even be that person. The end result comes across very confusing.
3. Kazuki does not change one bit throughout the whole story.
Kazuki has no character growth whatsoever. He learns nothing throughout the duration of the manga. We see clearly in the beginning that he is willing to tell off the Lolita, even going so far as to say that he will kill her. Thus, bravery was never an issue for him. You could say that he goes insane near the end, and I would agree, but my main problem is how he reacted when he lost his entire family. Kazuki doesn't seem that phased. As I stated before, Kazuki is not worried at all when his sister doesn't return home. In fact, he barely mentions her. The same thing goes for when his parents die. All we get is a look of shock and horror and that's it. Nothing about how much he misses them, which is odd since the story is very centered around the concept of family.
Fixing these problems:
In my opinion, the story should have been more focused of the relationship between Kazuki and Hikari. Maybe, he could have had another sister that passed away due to some fault of Hikari. For example, a car crash, or perhaps they could have been twins in the other sister died in the womb. The Lolita would be a physical manifestation of Kazuki's inner most feelings. She would represent his deep hatred of Hikari, for taking away the other sister he could have had. The Lolita would take on a whole new dimension, as not only a ghost, but a representation of his subconscious. The wounds she inflicts on herself would be a metaphor for all the damage Kazuki caused Hikari, as he continually blames for for the death of their sister. This would also give the final moments of the manga more depth. Through the Lolita Kazuki would be subjected to the same torture he inflicted upon Hikari. Such as alienation, ridicule, impossible standards, ect.
Hikari's character could stay pretty much the same, innocent and always eager to help her brother (like my cooking meals for him, and cleaning his apartment). This could make it all the more devastating to Hikari when the Lolita does these things and Kazuki praises her for it, leaving Hikari under appreciated and hurt.
Instead of having the Lolita murder Hikari at their school, perhaps instead it could taken place at Hikari's house. She would have a friend over for moral support, that way we could still have that gruesome scene where the girl gets smashed by the hammer for the sake of horror. There could still be a thrilling chase scene too, since I'm assuming she lives in an apartment complex like her brother. Perhaps, Kazuki could go by to check on Hikari, only to find that his sister has been killed. He would then reminisce about how his sister REALLY was, how she was benevolent and loving. His twisted perception of Hikari would be shattered, and Kazuki would be a person changed by the forced reflection that comes with loss. As for the parents, maybe when they died he could pull out an old photo album, crying as he looks through the pages of an old life forever lost. This would make all the deaths that much more devastating. Perhaps, as he is looking at these photos the Lolita's shadow is cast over them, sealing the fate. A fate that we should not be told about before hand. The manga gives us literal foreknowledge that the Lolita is going to kill him, this takes away much of the suspense, and renders Kazuki's "climatic" death just a foregone conclusion. We should have no prior knowledge of the Lolita or her myths, thus making her even more mysterious.
The end result is a dynamic story with much more interesting characters. Having the Lolita be a vivid representation of Kazuki's emotions forces him to so something very brave; he must confront himself. It would also give new meaning to the title "Twisted", meaning Kazuki's skewed and twisted perception of his sister, not seeing her for what she really is, and thus; not seeing the Lolita for what she really is either.
Posted by chazzyy | Feb 21, 2012 4:38 PM | 0 comments