So, I was thinking of do a blog each day about my day at work.
I dont do blogs but i dont want to flood the forum with each and every day but I do need to talk about it, so here I go.
I'm late....ARG!!!!, for some reason, I got it into my head I started at 10:00 when it was 09:10. I've missed my train so I start calling team leaders in london to see where I have to get to.
finally get to where I have to go, no time for a quick coffe cos I'm already late so hit the ground running so to speak.
All day in fact most days it expected people are just going to walk past you, perhaps they dont care or perhaps they dont like me or perhaps they give already, whatever the reason after a while you just get into the flow of just asking anyone and everyone you can. I'm looking for a guy or girl or whatever a person who genuinly cares and wants to help. I spoke to so many people today some wanted to help but were under the age of 18, no bank account, no british bank account etc.
So it was the end of the day, and this women stopped and I started speaking to her, she seemed nice and she was how can i put this genuinly wanted to help. at first she started aying how she helps by giving to the church, at this point you should run they say but i persevered, did you says i that although the church does help a few hundered people perhaps with soup kitchens they cant help people off the street, we can help the people with legal services letters to landlord we pass laws etc etc and so i went on. I'm sure you help alot and that great but you could help more people more of the time everywhere not just in you small town but the whole of the uk. She started saying about God and how she help more with the spiritual side of things, Great says I we need your prayers but prayer dont pay the bills they dont pay for legal costs and our freephone helpline. basically it came down to her just not want to help. I'll think about she said youve given me alot to think about and I want to see if I can truly give to this charity. OK says I, how about then you complete a form and that way you can think about that, its real and you know it wont go out till the end of march so if you change your mind you know you have alot of time in which to do that. Still nothing, Before I knew it I had spen 45 mins talking to her. Her sister turned up and then said in a very rude way, I was meeting my sister I dont get to see her alot so can you just leav us alone. I'll remeber you she said as she walks off.......I have to be happy and smiley but you know I just couldnt look her in the eye after that, w /e I said my back to her, There was about 20 mins left till the end of shift, I snuck off for a ciggarette and a cry. I spoke to my team leader and he said you know it ok, your doing ok, keep it quicke though you spen too much time, your doing fine your ok. I felt a little better after that, and then its time for home and rest.
Home and rest, is'nt this what ime trying to help people who dont have have. You could help I say to people all the time, help those who have no home to have a home, how do they sleep where do they sleep. Home and rest is somthing alot of us take for granted.
So now the rub, Lets say that person gos away and thinks about it and decides ok I'm gonna help shelter( I seriously doubt it I know her type all talk and prayer and no action if you know what I mean)But lets say she does. I work for shelter, My job is to get people to sign on the dotted line, that my job that what i get paid to do. Now put yourself in my place, lets say, I work for a legal company, my job is to write letters and send them off. Now lets say I sit there all day and do nothing just twidly my thumbs, everytime sombody passes my office I look really busy, But I'mm not doing anything. One day my boss looks at my work and says, erm you know I sent you 100 letter to write and send off and you havent sent them. What do you suppose would happen to me OR anyone who did that? .......YOUR FIRED!!!!! exactly you dont do your job you get fired, simple. So now my job is to get 3 people a day to sign up, if i dont do that guess what will happen to me, common you know the answer.....thats right I lose my job, No money, no way of paying my rent, and Now I'm homless.
And you know what I've been homless before, its why I wanted to work for shelter because I know I can tell people first hand what its like and you know I can tell you this, it was'nt a church group or a soup kitchen that helped me get off the street, in fact if anything those soup kitchens help people stay in the street because your feed them(its complex that one), In the end it was goverment schemes that shelter help pass through goverment that helped me back into accomodation.
So this person may one day help shelter, but she didnt help me, and you know I need that help too.
I'm doubting myself now, I know I shouldnt, I know people tell me I shouldnt, But it comes to this, If I dont reach my target I'm jst dead weight, thats the bottom line, no ammount of happiness is going to change that.
tommorow I've got to start all over again, Its a new dawn it a new day for me.
so here I go......