Private Entry
December 22nd, 2007
Awesome quotes i randomly find / think of
the speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer, divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
it's only offensive if it's true
(i thought of this) People call me a dork and I thank them. When greeted with puzzled expressions I explain to them what the definition of dork is and what they're unintentionally implying. They usually don't laugh after that, I wonder why?
(thought up this one too) my memory is like a sieve: all it keeps are the dregs.
(and this) murphy's law should be considered in strategy more often.
sex on the tv is ok, just make sure you don't fall off.
my those breasts look heavey! mind if i hold them for you?
()_()
( 0.0)
/)^^) : ORLY?!?!
chuck norris can slam revolving doors
roses are red, violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I'm all out of gum (you phail if you don't know this quote)
You can't hide from the Grim Reaper. Especially when he's got a gun
Bound only by the paper-thin wrappings of mortality, a soul here lies, struggling to be free. And so it shall, thanks to a bowl of bad gazpacho, and a man named...Calavera. (grim fandango)
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
You laugh because I'm different...........I laugh cause I just farted!
What you call dog with no legs?Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
make love not war, or do both, get married.
the masochist says, "hurt me! hurt me!" the sadist replies, "no"
between the ever existng battle between man and gravity: gravity always wins.
(v-.-) c(O.Oc)'c) "buttsex is bad kirby!"
Before you critiscize someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critiscize them, you're a mile away from them. And you have their shoes.
If an orange were blue, would it still be called an orange?
I reject your reality, and substitute my own! - Adam Savage, Mythbusters.
A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. It's the honest ones you have to watch out for, because you never know when they're going to to do something incredibly stupid - Jack Sparrow
there's no I in TEAM...there is a ME though.
I wanted to rule the world once, but I was distracted by something sparkly.
If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
a pessimist says the glass is half empty, an optimist says the glass is half full, an engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
I lost my sanity, can I have yours?
Don't wear fur. Did you know a single fur coat takes fourteen trees just for the protest signs? - Emo Phillips
Despite popular belief, 'lol' is not a proper punctuation mark.
One fish, two fish, fried fish, stewed fish.
a flat chest is a status symbol
why work for a six-pack when you can have a keg?
Pi-piru-piru-piru-pi-piru-pi!
"Well, being a dick ain't so bad. See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just wanna fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck, and all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck, and if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!" -team america
did you know? apparently every time you masturbate God kills a kitten... LET THE SLAUGHTER COMMENCE!! (personal quote)
"But I will have sex with you! just after I deal with my sleep fetish."
"the easiest way to a man's heart is through his stomach..... now how is that right? your stomach's down here, your heart's up here now put the wooden stake in the right spot before you screw us all jackass!" (personal quote)
http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o292/freefreeuploads/myhotcomments8/fuckU.jpg
in a recent study it was found 90% of men masturbate, it also found that the other 10% were liars
"It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation. This sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation." -eric cartman
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
All my base are belong to you.
it's only offensive if it's true
(i thought of this) People call me a dork and I thank them. When greeted with puzzled expressions I explain to them what the definition of dork is and what they're unintentionally implying. They usually don't laugh after that, I wonder why?
(thought up this one too) my memory is like a sieve: all it keeps are the dregs.
(and this) murphy's law should be considered in strategy more often.
sex on the tv is ok, just make sure you don't fall off.
my those breasts look heavey! mind if i hold them for you?
()_()
( 0.0)
/)^^) : ORLY?!?!
chuck norris can slam revolving doors
roses are red, violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I'm all out of gum (you phail if you don't know this quote)
You can't hide from the Grim Reaper. Especially when he's got a gun
Bound only by the paper-thin wrappings of mortality, a soul here lies, struggling to be free. And so it shall, thanks to a bowl of bad gazpacho, and a man named...Calavera. (grim fandango)
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
You laugh because I'm different...........I laugh cause I just farted!
What you call dog with no legs?Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
make love not war, or do both, get married.
the masochist says, "hurt me! hurt me!" the sadist replies, "no"
between the ever existng battle between man and gravity: gravity always wins.
(v-.-) c(O.Oc)'c) "buttsex is bad kirby!"
Before you critiscize someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critiscize them, you're a mile away from them. And you have their shoes.
If an orange were blue, would it still be called an orange?
I reject your reality, and substitute my own! - Adam Savage, Mythbusters.
A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. It's the honest ones you have to watch out for, because you never know when they're going to to do something incredibly stupid - Jack Sparrow
there's no I in TEAM...there is a ME though.
I wanted to rule the world once, but I was distracted by something sparkly.
If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
a pessimist says the glass is half empty, an optimist says the glass is half full, an engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
I lost my sanity, can I have yours?
Don't wear fur. Did you know a single fur coat takes fourteen trees just for the protest signs? - Emo Phillips
Despite popular belief, 'lol' is not a proper punctuation mark.
One fish, two fish, fried fish, stewed fish.
a flat chest is a status symbol
why work for a six-pack when you can have a keg?
Pi-piru-piru-piru-pi-piru-pi!
"Well, being a dick ain't so bad. See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just wanna fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck, and all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck, and if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!" -team america
did you know? apparently every time you masturbate God kills a kitten... LET THE SLAUGHTER COMMENCE!! (personal quote)
"But I will have sex with you! just after I deal with my sleep fetish."
"the easiest way to a man's heart is through his stomach..... now how is that right? your stomach's down here, your heart's up here now put the wooden stake in the right spot before you screw us all jackass!" (personal quote)
http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o292/freefreeuploads/myhotcomments8/fuckU.jpg
in a recent study it was found 90% of men masturbate, it also found that the other 10% were liars
"It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation. This sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation." -eric cartman
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
All my base are belong to you.
Posted by Skrabones | Dec 22, 2007 5:50 PM | 0 comments
Private Entry