Jasonbear's Blog

It doesn't matter what you say, what insult you have, or how much you think you may hurt me by telling me face to face, just please don't talk behind my back.

No matter how insignificant the insult may have been, if I found out you said it- and more than that, you wanted to say it behind my back, the hurt I will feel from your comment will be multiplied many times over.

Mean comments may hurt me, but finding out you're talking behind my back (even if it's with good intentions) will make me hate you.

So next time you have something to say, say it to my face, please.

Clearly not a motto my best friends follow.

I procrastinate too much.
University is going to kill me.

I better work on that but then again, you can tell how motivated I am by the fact that instead of doing my homework, i'm writing on my MAL blog. LOL.

I liked it better when she was worried about her weight. This way, I didn't have to worry about sharing my food.

Right now I am a sad, sad little human.
Do you know why? Because I have a huge inferiority complex towards my best friend. And I mean HUGE. Like bigger then Homer Simpson's ass in that one episode where he got so fat he had to wear a moomoo. :( Yes, I'm actually trying to be humorous in my time of sad, depressed, kill me now but I don't really mean it crisis.
And what's more stupid is the event that caused me to go on this emo girl tyrade. So let me tell you this first. Both me and my friend are pretty late bloomers, technology wise. In other words, we both didn't have facebook until today. I just got my facebook about a couple weeks ago and to this date, I have less then 100 friends. Yes, I am a complete loner.

My friend, on the other hand, just got it...about now, and her friend count climbing like there is now tomorrow.
Now let's all just settle down for a second and simmer in the fact that i'm actually getting seriously depressed because my best friend, who couldn't be a more kind or self sacrificing friend, has more friends on me on facebook. Yes all my imaginary readers, this is how pitiful I am. You should weep for me just from the sheer fact that I pretty much have a life close to non existent.
Well, anyway, I've had this complex for pretty much forever. My best friend and I have been friends pretty much ever since we were just little babes. If that's not clear enough, it was before we were even in preschool. She has honestly been a better friend then one could ever ask for. We have the type of friendship that some people spend their entire lives wishing for, and I really hope my lack of self confidence doesn't ruin this for us cause I know one of the most important things in my life is her friendship with me. So really, this whole entry will just show how much of a whiny and spineless person I am. What's worse is that when I get jealous or my inferiority complex takes over me, I actually get angry at HER. She does nothing but be the good person she is, and I take it out on her. And what's even worse than that I'm the type of person that when they're angry, they do the silent treatment. So because of my insane ability to completely mock our friendship, she is left confused and frustrated because of my stupid behavior.

It sucks that I'm like this, but I don't know how to change. You could suggest that I just get more self confidence in myself, but exactly how is one supposed to go about that? I mean, should I take up a sport and excel like the genius I like to think I am, or get a boyfriend who'll shower me with the compliments I think I need but I probably don't deserve? Either way, it's a pretty hard task for a super lazy and really shy person like me. I just don't have many good traits, do I? Well, at least I can recognize my faults.

Ranting actually did make me feel a bit better. To be honest, that one little blurb talking about our friendship made me realize that my friendship with her is more important than any sort of green monster on my back. And really, what is the cause behind my inferority complex? Before, in grade 7, when i was also facing this problem, after a lot of hard thinking and quite a bit of exercise (exercise makes me feel better when i'm stressed) I realized that I wasn't jealous of her, I was jealous of the fact the people hanging out with her cause I wanted to hang out with her. I mean, right now, I think my jealousy is that and a bit more. I still haven't figured it out but I hope it hits me before I ruin something as rare as my friendship with her.

But....then again. I'm feeling better, but that facebook icon on my shortcut list is still making me incredible inferior. Just thinking about it makes me feel like i'm in one of those cartoons where a black cloud follows me around and only rains on me. I really need to get over this. My complex isn't doing good for ANYBODY. ARRR!^^@^#$$^**#$*&^$#%^&#!!!!GHHHHHH!!!

PS. I'm not even going to bother to double check this thing, so please pardon my suckish grammar, spelling, and overall writing skill.

Again, ARG@#@$%^%&@!(!)#($(%*^^)%@@HHHHHH!!!!!!!!


TIFFANY IS FLIPPIN DEPRESSED.

I feel like my brain is just about to explode.
Nothing out of the ordinary, I suppose. School just started so all the cranks in my head are adjusting to actually being used for once.
I just spent like hours working on this silly little poster that, I am rather sad to admit, is not my best work. Quite frankly, i'm not satisfied with it yet, but my brain is crying sad little tears of brain juice, moaning "Please let me rest! I don't care if you fail school, cause ultimately if I explode, you'll die and it won't matter what's your GPA cause no college in their right mind would accept a corpse as a student."