Sep 8, 2015 10:54 AM
The Pain That Comes With Survival
"Humans don't understand how desperate we are, to pull out our kagune.
After all, for us ghouls, they are the only things capable of killing us and saving us at the same time.
How ironic.
It hurts
In order to save ourselves, we must rip away at the flesh from our backs to take it out.
You think that it's all a game of cat and mouse for us? No, we do it to survive, to live.
Ghouls hurt each other with their kagune. So why else should our own not hurt us at all?
A price must be paid for the sin that we have been born as.
It starts off as a prickling sensation, slowly buzzing into pins and needles prancing around on our back. It's almost soothing to some extent, knowing that there are far worse things to arrive.
The sudden bursts of pain begin when it starts to tear at the skin on our backs. We regenerate quickly, which protects us, yet prevents our weapons from coming out.
Mentally, we tell ourselves during every second, "It's okay. You're going to be alright. Stop healing, you won't die. Death can only ensue if you keep on going like this."
It's a constant pressure that we must always face, to stay calm in life and death situations and tell ourselves that everything is fine.
Even though it is never fine.
Eventually, the kagune bursts out from its cove from our backs, the blood that flowed free infusing with our colored kagune, giving off the brilliant red streaks that patterns its surface.
It's a terrifying thing, to see something almost living come forth from your very own body, taking part of your own life with it as it grows into something that is so familiar, yet so distant from yourself.
The pain doesn't stop either.
The cool air that brushes against your back, the dust falling from the ceiling and walls as the investigator tears apart the building around you, starting bursts of pain as they contact that raw area that you desperately want to heal, yet can't.
Even after it's over, the investigator now laid out on the concrete, your back still stings as it retreats, the skin and muscles around sore until the next encounter.
A constant reminder that you will always be the "monster," and will never be worthy to be a living, breathing being."
-Journal Entry #253, Kaneki Ken
After all, for us ghouls, they are the only things capable of killing us and saving us at the same time.
How ironic.
It hurts
In order to save ourselves, we must rip away at the flesh from our backs to take it out.
You think that it's all a game of cat and mouse for us? No, we do it to survive, to live.
Ghouls hurt each other with their kagune. So why else should our own not hurt us at all?
A price must be paid for the sin that we have been born as.
It starts off as a prickling sensation, slowly buzzing into pins and needles prancing around on our back. It's almost soothing to some extent, knowing that there are far worse things to arrive.
The sudden bursts of pain begin when it starts to tear at the skin on our backs. We regenerate quickly, which protects us, yet prevents our weapons from coming out.
Mentally, we tell ourselves during every second, "It's okay. You're going to be alright. Stop healing, you won't die. Death can only ensue if you keep on going like this."
It's a constant pressure that we must always face, to stay calm in life and death situations and tell ourselves that everything is fine.
Even though it is never fine.
Eventually, the kagune bursts out from its cove from our backs, the blood that flowed free infusing with our colored kagune, giving off the brilliant red streaks that patterns its surface.
It's a terrifying thing, to see something almost living come forth from your very own body, taking part of your own life with it as it grows into something that is so familiar, yet so distant from yourself.
The pain doesn't stop either.
The cool air that brushes against your back, the dust falling from the ceiling and walls as the investigator tears apart the building around you, starting bursts of pain as they contact that raw area that you desperately want to heal, yet can't.
Even after it's over, the investigator now laid out on the concrete, your back still stings as it retreats, the skin and muscles around sore until the next encounter.
A constant reminder that you will always be the "monster," and will never be worthy to be a living, breathing being."
-Journal Entry #253, Kaneki Ken
Posted by
Aeristaeus
| Sep 8, 2015 10:54 AM |
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