Plot disscussion

Oct 10, 2014 12:29 PM

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Aug 2014

52

First of all thanks Yamamoto sensei for creating such a thread. I am grateful. Well my plot is a romantic comedy about a girl, whose dream is to become a shoujo mangaka but surprisingly thinks that love is trash. However, she falls in love with a pen pal, who is famous for his short romantic stories, which he writes in a series of blogs. However, to her surprise he turns out to be an irritating, perverted classmate who already has a girlfriend. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance!

Oct 10, 2014 12:48 PM

#3

arashi-chan12

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Dec 2008

16

ShojoukaChan said:
First of all thanks Yamamoto sensei for creating such a thread. I am grateful. Well my plot is a romantic comedy about a girl, whose dream is to become a shoujo mangaka but surprisingly thinks that love is trash. However, she falls in love with a pen pal, who is famous for his short romantic stories, which he writes in a series of blogs. However, to her surprise he turns out to be an irritating, perverted classmate who already has a girlfriend. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance!

Nice twist lol. It sounds pretty interesting. Can't wait to see what you'll do!

Oct 10, 2014 10:31 PM

#4

ShojoukaChan

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Aug 2014

52

Thanks a lot for your feedback arashi-chan12!! too bad that I can't draw like a pro for now..... :(

Oct 11, 2014 4:50 AM

#5

YamamotoSensei

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Jun 2014

183

ShojoukaChan said:
First of all thanks Yamamoto sensei for creating such a thread. I am grateful. Well my plot is a romantic comedy about a girl, whose dream is to become a shoujo mangaka but surprisingly thinks that love is trash. However, she falls in love with a pen pal, who is famous for his short romantic stories, which he writes in a series of blogs. However, to her surprise he turns out to be an irritating, perverted classmate who already has a girlfriend. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance!

Well... my stories use be horror stories or at least with a very mature and serious theme. So, sadly, I don't think I would be able to help you with a romantic comedy (I tend to kill every single character I create, even the main character). And don't worry if you don't draw like a pro, I can say I'm very good at drawing, but I still need so many years of experience, said that, I recommend you to draw your story, even if it looks so bad, you'll be forced to draw and practice stuff that you have never done before and every artist need that experience. In just one year, you'll see that you have improved so much you will not believe it.

Oct 11, 2014 5:42 AM

#6

simoun_

Offline

May 2013

80

woah. this is what i've been waiting for. :3
So I was planning on a one-shot and I plan to enter it on our university's manga contest.
It's somewhat romcom, military-style in genre with 2 POVs(the lead and the heroine)
It's about this general who was forced into a marriage with another general of a rival faction(They're under the same rebel group tho). That is because their rivalry lead to many losses so the higher ups wants them to develop the two faction's trust for each other through their commanders. However, the female general doesn't want to marry the guy general because of his reputation for being a cruel, evil(the type who sacrifices his allies in battle to save his own hide) general. The next part is a battle or something where the female general realizes that the male general is actually a benevolent man who cares for his subordinates.

I'm still working on the details of the battle but I plan on ending it with the female general saying that "she wouldn't mind marrying the male general".

So what do you think? I personally think it's somewhat cliche but I'll do my best to make it better.

I like eating.

Oct 11, 2014 8:45 AM

#7

ShojoukaChan

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Aug 2014

52

YamamotoSensei said:

ShojoukaChan said:
First of all thanks Yamamoto sensei for creating such a thread. I am grateful. Well my plot is a romantic comedy about a girl, whose dream is to become a shoujo mangaka but surprisingly thinks that love is trash. However, she falls in love with a pen pal, who is famous for his short romantic stories, which he writes in a series of blogs. However, to her surprise he turns out to be an irritating, perverted classmate who already has a girlfriend. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance!

Well... my stories use be horror stories or at least with a very mature and serious theme. So, sadly, I don't think I would be able to help you with a romantic comedy (I tend to kill every single character I create, even the main character). And don't worry if you don't draw like a pro, I can say I'm very good at drawing, but I still need so many years of experience, said that, I recommend you to draw your story, even if it looks so bad, you'll be forced to draw and practice stuff that you have never done before and every artist need that experience. In just one year, you'll see that you have improved so much you will not believe it.

YamamotoSensei said:

ShojoukaChan said:
First of all thanks Yamamoto sensei for creating such a thread. I am grateful. Well my plot is a romantic comedy about a girl, whose dream is to become a shoujo mangaka but surprisingly thinks that love is trash. However, she falls in love with a pen pal, who is famous for his short romantic stories, which he writes in a series of blogs. However, to her surprise he turns out to be an irritating, perverted classmate who already has a girlfriend. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance!

Well... my stories use be horror stories or at least with a very mature and serious theme. So, sadly, I don't think I would be able to help you with a romantic comedy (I tend to kill every single character I create, even the main character). And don't worry if you don't draw like a pro, I can say I'm very good at drawing, but I still need so many years of experience, said that, I recommend you to draw your story, even if it looks so bad, you'll be forced to draw and practice stuff that you have never done before and every artist need that experience. In just one year, you'll see that you have improved so much you will not believe it.

Sensei actually I have improved in last one year, and I am quite excited to draw my story....but sadly I can't buy the required tools. My parents actually don't quite support my dream of becoming a mangaka and can't afford the tools as well. But thanks for your advice sensei! I will try my best!

Oct 11, 2014 8:48 AM

#8

ShojoukaChan

Offline

Aug 2014

52

chiyari said:
woah. this is what i've been waiting for. :3
So I was planning on a one-shot and I plan to enter it on our university's manga contest.
It's somewhat romcom, military-style in genre with 2 POVs(the lead and the heroine)
It's about this general who was forced into a marriage with another general of a rival faction(They're under the same rebel group tho). That is because their rivalry lead to many losses so the higher ups wants them to develop the two faction's trust for each other through their commanders. However, the female general doesn't want to marry the guy general because of his reputation for being a cruel, evil(the type who sacrifices his allies in battle to save his own hide) general. The next part is a battle or something where the female general realizes that the male general is actually a benevolent man who cares for his subordinates.

I'm still working on the details of the battle but I plan on ending it with the female general saying that "she wouldn't mind marrying the male general".

So what do you think? I personally think it's somewhat cliche but I'll do my best to make it better.

I am not that good in giving advice to people....but yours looks interesting....I have never read a romantic manga with military background...looking forward for it!

Oct 11, 2014 1:45 PM

#9

arashi-chan12

Offline

Dec 2008

16

ShojoukaChan said:
Sensei actually I have improved in last one year, and I am quite excited to draw my story....but sadly I can't buy the required tools. My parents actually don't quite support my dream of becoming a mangaka and can't afford the tools as well. But thanks for your advice sensei! I will try my best!

(I'm not one to speak, but) I suggest practicing and drawing your manga first. It helps if you already have a draft out so you know what you want to fix and what to do better once you make your finalized draft.

As for the tools, it helps to have the good quality stuff, but if you don't have it or can't afford it, then just use what you can. It doesn't matter if it's cheap as long as it looks nice. I used to use regular crayola markers and people weren't complaining when I drew them stuff lol. It also counts as practice for when you get the good stuff, so you know what to do and how to do it, and aren't as hesitant to "waste" them.

Also, if you show determination, conviction and consistency in doing what you love then your parents might see the light.

Oct 11, 2014 1:49 PM

#10

arashi-chan12

Offline

Dec 2008

16

chiyari said:
woah. this is what i've been waiting for. :3
So I was planning on a one-shot and I plan to enter it on our university's manga contest.
It's somewhat romcom, military-style in genre with 2 POVs(the lead and the heroine)
It's about this general who was forced into a marriage with another general of a rival faction(They're under the same rebel group tho). That is because their rivalry lead to many losses so the higher ups wants them to develop the two faction's trust for each other through their commanders. However, the female general doesn't want to marry the guy general because of his reputation for being a cruel, evil(the type who sacrifices his allies in battle to save his own hide) general. The next part is a battle or something where the female general realizes that the male general is actually a benevolent man who cares for his subordinates.

I'm still working on the details of the battle but I plan on ending it with the female general saying that "she wouldn't mind marrying the male general".

So what do you think? I personally think it's somewhat cliche but I'll do my best to make it better.

This sounds cool. :D I look forward to their bickering lol.

Oct 12, 2014 12:37 AM

#11

ShojoukaChan

Offline

Aug 2014

52

arashi-chan12 said:

ShojoukaChan said:
Sensei actually I have improved in last one year, and I am quite excited to draw my story....but sadly I can't buy the required tools. My parents actually don't quite support my dream of becoming a mangaka and can't afford the tools as well. But thanks for your advice sensei! I will try my best!

(I'm not one to speak, but) I suggest practicing and drawing your manga first. It helps if you already have a draft out so you know what you want to fix and what to do better once you make your finalized draft.
Thank you very much! I will try my best!
As for the tools, it helps to have the good quality stuff, but if you don't have it or can't afford it, then just use what you can. It doesn't matter if it's cheap as long as it looks nice. I used to use regular crayola markers and people weren't complaining when I drew them stuff lol. It also counts as practice for when you get the good stuff, so you know what to do and how to do it, and aren't as hesitant to "waste" them.

Also, if you show determination, conviction and consistency in doing what you love then your parents might see the light.

Oct 12, 2014 5:54 AM

#12

simoun_

Offline

May 2013

80

thanks for the feedback guys! but i don't think i can fit it all in a 60-page oneshot tho. maybe i'll just update if i manage to pull it off.

I like eating.

Oct 26, 2014 8:09 AM

#13

simoun_

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May 2013

80

Hi guys!~ So I'm planning on doing a collaboration work with a friend and I'm doing the art and she's writing the story. So she gave an idea as of now:

The main character is an engineering student and she works part time as an information broker. One day, she was given the task to gather information in the college of theology of the same university that is somewhat really secretive. Later on, she meets this theology student and falls in love in the process.
The characters follow these characterisitics as of now:
Engineering Student(the troublemaker type of character)
Theology Student(the goody two-shoes type of character)

That's all I have for now. So what do you think of this concept?

I like eating.

Aug 10, 2015 6:28 PM

#14

lightcha

Offline

Apr 2015

529

I need help with this Im making(Im not going to go on full detail because I don't want anyone to steal my idea)

The story is that the Existence of people who can use magic has been noticed and all the worlds government in secret, along with stuff like evil wizardssssss, magical relic, godlike powers, mythical stuff, thus only the ones who can use magic and the world government know about those secrets keeped from the public between all this we meet (male protagonist) who is about to enter a middle school specifically made for people who can use magic(sorta), since magic powers start developing once teenager
The thing I have the most problem with it is that its a Setting not a plot anr that's something I don't like. I want my story to have a conclusive end, And I honestly can't think of anything. I ask your help for what could work and if what I have us good enough......please

Im not bad at english Im just a horrible speller

Aug 11, 2015 3:32 AM

#15

YamamotoSensei

Offline

Jun 2014

183

lightcha said:
I need help with this Im making(Im not going to go on full detail because I don't want anyone to steal my idea)

The story is that the Existence of people who can use magic has been noticed and all the worlds government in secret, along with stuff like evil wizardssssss, magical relic, godlike powers, mythical stuff, thus only the ones who can use magic and the world government know about those secrets keeped from the public between all this we meet (male protagonist) who is about to enter a middle school specifically made for people who can use magic(sorta), since magic powers start developing once teenager
The thing I have the most problem with it is that its a Setting not a plot anr that's something I don't like. I want my story to have a conclusive end, And I honestly can't think of anything. I ask your help for what could work and if what I have us good enough......please

Lightcha, as you said, that is a setting and not a plot, although you may need to polish it a bit later and add more specific details, it's not a bad start.
Now you have to develop properly your main character's personality and appearance, a quick tip on that, normally when people create their OC(original character) they give him the most badass look they can think of, a super-ultra-mega-hyper traumatic past and a power that is way too weird even within the context of the story. Well, try not to do anything of that, if you have a look at some mangas, you'll see the main character uses to start as a normal guy or even a below average guy and grows a a character from there.
Now the other fact is your lack of experience, I'll give you a few manga and anime with similar setting to the one you have described, you have to learn from others how to develop a story and organize a plot. These are the ones I can think of right now.
http://myanimelist.net/manga/75989/Boku_no_Hero_Academia
http://myanimelist.net/manga/18619/Tokyo_ESP
http://myanimelist.net/anime/14349/Little_Witch_Academia
http://myanimelist.net/anime/19855/Nobunagun
http://myanimelist.net/anime/20053/Wizard_Barristers:_Benmashi_Cecil

Another thing regarding your introduction post, first, you never have to aim for the middle, you must aim to the top, I'll tell you why, if you give your all, but you are made to be in the top, you may go to the middle, BUT, if your effort is only have of your potential and you are not made to be at the top at full capacity, the you'll go to the bottom and eventually getting your manga cancelled, I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything but this is a competitive world. About the story you are making right now, you are still young and you'll not like it anymore at some point, believe me, it happens, I have made countless stories and settings since I was 12 and I thought they were the most amazing thing in the world when I made them, but I think quite really crap nowadays.

My personal advice for you is to start making your manga already, if you need some help or you don't know about anything you can always contact me. Doing that, you'll grow as an artist and as writer a lot faster than you have ever done before, it's the best way to find out your flaws and strong point.

Aug 15, 2015 8:58 AM

#16

lightcha

Offline

Apr 2015

529

Thank you Yamamoto-sensei (the fact that you took your time to fine shows/mangas similar really helps and inspires me, no-ones actually taken their time to help me like that)
I actually have more then just one story/plot this one though I don't have any problems at the time(mainly because this story actually can be given an ending, but maybe you guys can see if it has any problems

Im not bad at english Im just a horrible speller

Aug 23, 2015 8:22 AM

#17

simoun_

Offline

May 2013

80

lightcha said:
Thank you Yamamoto-sensei (the fact that you took your time to fine shows/mangas similar really helps and inspires me, no-ones actually taken their time to help me like that)
I actually have more then just one story/plot this one though I don't have any problems at the time(mainly because this story actually can be given an ending, but maybe you guys can see if it has any problems

That kind of feels like Future Diary/Mirai Nikki or at least something similar. I'm not very good at giving advices but I think you should work on these:
1.) How can she persuade her father that she can actually see the future
2.) Also create the situation where it has to be her who looks at the future as there can be a question "why didn't the father just get the iPad and then use it for future plans?" and if that happens, it would end her role in the story.
3.) Maybe a limitation for the prediction abilities of the ipad perhaps?

I like eating.

Aug 23, 2015 12:49 PM

#18

YamamotoSensei

Offline

Jun 2014

183

lightcha said:
Thank you Yamamoto-sensei (the fact that you took your time to fine shows/mangas similar really helps and inspires me, no-ones actually taken their time to help me like that)
I actually have more then just one story/plot this one though I don't have any problems at the time(mainly because this story actually can be given an ending, but maybe you guys can see if it has any problems

The thing that she decides to keep the iPad needs more specifications, if you are going to make it in a society based on Japan, you must be aware that if some one finds something, they take it to the police and the police will make an announcement for the owner to retrieve it. For example, the iPad turns on the moment she touches it and start talking to her, giving evidence that the iPad "knows" who is it talking to, or maybe the iPad simply appeared in her room or something like that. @Simoun_'s second point is also very important, another example, in Gantz, they are forced to fight aliens but if they tell another people about it, they die instantly. You must give a reason for her to be the only one able to use that iPad. Point 1 and 3 can be very related if you make it properly, maybe there's no limitation in the predictions but she has to alter the future without telling anyone she knows the future, so she has to use the few sources available for a teenage girl to save the world. Remember that the key of a good story is to get your character in unpredictable problems and solve them in unpredictable and original ways.

Oct 5, 2015 12:51 PM

#19

To-san1

Offline

Aug 2012

488

Hey ! So I have some stories in mind since a while,and I wanted some people to tell me what they think about it,so I'll post them gradually.

So,the first story I'm posting is...a Yuri. [Yeah.I was really bored the day I thought about it,so I read tons of yuri]
The scene would take place in a High school,in the purgatory. In that High school there are both angels and demons. Of course,there is some kind of rivality between the two "nations",since on the outer world they are currently in war.
The story focus on 2 specific character : the futur demon lord and a an angel. They've been fighting each other for years,but lately the demon has developped a crush on the angel. And so that's how it starts actually.
(my english isn't really good btw)
I usually go with a huge background on every character I create,but for the moment I only developped the demon's.
So here is her background (and some complementary information about the universe where the story takes place):
Beforehand you have to know that in order to choose an heir,the demon lord organise a strengh contest with death matches.
If she won it,it was only by hazard,since she was at that place at the right moment,and her power was released. She's currently the strongest demon of Hell,so she get challenged a lot during the story.
So I imagined that it wasn't actually a total hazard that the was there,and she actually became the futur demon lord because she was seeking revenge.
Why? Because the current demon lord killed both her parents because she's actually a mixed blood.( [and that's a taboo ] We can only know it when she shows her wings actually. ) But the demon lord doesn't know that she's their child and adopt her since she is now his heir.(Actually,she plan on making peace with the angels too.) So she's able to go to that school in order to get the right education (I set her as a prodigy,so she become the demon lord at 6 years old lol.)
Then in that school,the angel always challenge her to fight,they sorta grow up together.
Obviously there is tons of hardships between them,mostly because of the background of the demon.
I have also 5 secondary character that I started to develop.

Anyway,I hope I was sufficiently clear x).

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