Me: Hello James. It's nice to see you again.
James: Where the hell have you been? We thought you fell off the face of the Earth. That, or you were pinned down by a large rock in a cave, struggling to fight for your life and managing to survive by eating various insects you found on the floor. Or perhaps you were captured prisoner on a deserted island and tortured by seductive amazon women, in which case I must say that you're a lucky bastard.
Me: *laughs heartily* Have a seat. *pulls a chair out from underneath the table* We have some catching up to do.
James: Uhhh...yeah, you think? You were gone for a loooooong time. Why were you on a three year hiatus?
Me: Well, it's a long complicated personal reason as to why I left MAL. I can count on just one hand the number of people on MyAnimeList who truly knew the reason why I left. There was a lot of drama, and to be honest, I deeply hurt the feelings of somebody very important to me. That's mostly due to the fact that I'm a complete blockhead and I tend to be oblivious to the feelings of others. You pretty much have to strip naked and whisper in my ear "I want you badly" before I get a sense that you may want to be more than friends. I decided to leave for the sake of not hurting this particular person and to demonstrate a level of commitment for another important person. It wasn't a fair decision to all of my friends and I apologize for leaving without explanation. I hope you guys can forgive me at some point. However, to be frank, I don't have any regrets in leaving because I believe that it was in the best interest of the aforementioned two important people.
James: *sits silently for a few seconds, staring blankly at the well groomed Asian across the table* Hmm...you remember the movie Anchorman? In one particular scene involving a cologne made from real bits of panther, Brian says to Ron, "Sixty percent of the time, it works everytime." Ron then replies, "That doesn't make sense." Well, I kinda feel like Ron right now. What you just said made no sense at all.
Me: I know. I think it's better that way. I don't want to list out any names out of consideration for those involved. I was part of a triangle, but because I was so obtuse and partly due to poor timing, I deeply hurt someone I cared about before I realized that I was even in the triangle to begin with. However, one of the parties involved left the triangle a while back, and now I feel no obligation to stay away from MAL.
James: I'm getting the feeling that you're referring to women trouble and that you're a dumbass. That, or you're trying to teach me geometry and the importance of three sided shapes.
Me: Well thank you James for being so blunt. *sips vanilla Coke through a straw with a stare that indicates disapproval of the last comment made*
James: So wait, you cheated on a girl? Wow...I don't know what to say. I'm severely disappointed in you.
Me: Now don't jumpt to conclusions. Here, allow me to demonstrate what happened via an easy to understand flow chart. *pulls a giant graph out from underneath the table, sets up a presentation like a professional at a power lunch business meeting* I want to remind you that this is chronologically correct because if the information was out of order, I really would be a scumbag. *a Powerpoint slideshow with the title "Why pillows is a fucking idiot" starts to play*
pillows starts exchanging messages with "Girl A" over "duh internetz" -> "Girl A" states she's in love with pillows -> pillows agrees to meet "Girl A" in "real life" -> pillows starts dating "Girl A" -> pillows gets a message from "Girl B" on MAL who also states that she loves him ->
Me: At this point, I would like to interject and state that I had no idea this other girl also had feelings for me. I always assumed that we were just good friends. Anyways, let's cotinue with the flow chart.
pillows lets "Girl B" know he's already seeing "Girl A" and in the process hurts the feelings of "Girl B" -> pillows feels bad and realizes he's a super breed of moron for not recognizing the feelings of "Girl B" earlier -> pillows leaves MAL so that there won't be anymore misunderstandings for the sake of "Girl A" and "Girl B"
James: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...I can't believe I'm seeing this...did you just pull a giant ass projector and flow chart from out of your pants? How the hell did you get that super long cord to fit in there?
Me: And here I thought you were astonished at the information contained in the slide show...
James: Oh yeah...that's kinda unbelievable too...the slide show details I mean. I'm surprised that an internet relationship worked out.
Me: She actually dumped me a while back. A long distance relationship rarely works out. "This love has taken its toll on me / She said goodbye too many times before / Her heart is breaking in front of me / And I have no choice / Cause I won't say goodbye anymore."
James: You realize that you're gay for listening to Maroon 5?
Me: You think that's bad? There's a Jonas Brothers song that I like...
James: Egads! Let's fill you up with margaritas and hit the strip clubs. There's still hope for you! But kidding aside, don't worry about your women woes. WC Fields once said, "Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one." You're probably better off being single. Elephants poop quite a bit I hear.
Me: *sighs* Remind me never to introduce you to my friends.
James: Okay, okay! Change of topic. Did anything else happen during your departure from this little section of internet goodness?
Me: *stares distantly at the window* My father passed away.
James: I'm sorry to hear that. You have my condolences. May I ask what happened?
Me: He developed colon cancer and when he was diagnosed with the disease a year and a half ago, he was already in stage four, meaning his survival rate was incredibly low. Seeing my father go through that was the lowest point in my
entire life. He left me in 2010. I saw him struggle to walk, go through two surgeries, and lay lifelessly in bed holding onto my mother's hands. Every night in bed, I would cry and pray that a miracle would happen. My prayers never reached anyone. To be honest, I wouldn't have been able to sign onto MAL after that experience for a long time. I had trouble coping with everything.
James: You know, you don't have to tell me any of this. I don't want to open old wounds.
Me: Thank you, but you don't have to spare a thought for my feelings. I've matured and grew up a lot during these past months. My mom and little sister need me more than ever and I believe that my father is in a better place. I think things happen for a reason and that we can become better people from getting through the ugliest that life can throw at us.
James: *pats the optimistic Asian's shoulder* I'm glad you have that attitude. Plus ten respect points! Let's change the topic again. Did anything good happen while you were away from this otaku sanctuary?
Me: I graduated college with a bachelors in Finance and got a job at a certain bank. Due to contractual obligations and as part of the terms and conditions for my continued employment at this bank, I'm not allowed to disclose the name of this financial institution. I'm also not allowed to wear the work uniforms outside of the bank as well.
James: Yeah, probably because you'll wear the uniform, go to a bar, get drunk off your ass and then hit on every woman you see. Then the public will be like, "Wow. I don't want to have a checking account at that bank. They hire drunken, boyish looking Asian men who have a complete disregard towards the opposite sex!"
Me: I have a sudden urge to let my fist meet your face at lightning speed.
James: Now, now...let's not be rash. Friends should treasure the moments they spend together. After all, human life is relatively ephemeral. Let's not waste time fighting. Carpe diem.
Me: *stares in disbelief* James...that's the most intelligent thing I ever heard you say...I'm...speechless...impressed even...
James: Ha, ha...yeah. James no dum dum!
Me: Hmm...I spoke too soon. Anyways, I also got a brand new 2011 Volkswagen Jetta.
James: R-O-F-L. Didn't that thing just get recalled? Like...you honk the horn and the engine shuts off? *laughs* German engineering my ass. I also like your terrible segue/transition from your job topic to your new car. Doesn't seem like you put in any effort to make the topic change smooth.
Me: Yeah. Besides that recall problem though, I'm quite pleased with my purchase. But more importantly, did you just spell out an internet acronym in a real life setting? Also, stop pointing out my terrible dialogue writing skills to blog readers!
James: L-O-L. Of course I did. Gotta a problem with my spelling out acronyms?
Me: But you're not rolling on the floor laughing. You're pretty much lying to me.
James: Pfft. Well, I'm thinking this blog entry is getting pretty long and that you may be developing arthritis in your fingers typing this out. Also, trying to use a 2004 movie reference as an analogy was a terrible decision. Nobody watched that movie except you. They're not going to know what the hell you're talking about.
Me: Perhaps, but I wanted this blog entry to be slightly humorous while catching everyone up to speed. I'm sure if anyone had any questions or clarification, they would just leave a comment for me.
James: Right! And because you're such a nice guy, you'll reply to all the comments you receive and anyone reading this shouldn't hesitate to ask those questions! *wink, wink, hint, hint*
Me: Yes. I'll also reply simply because I miss a lot of people on here. I'm sorry I left and hope everyone can forgive me. I especially hope one particular person on this site that I hurt will forgive me. I know it was probably hard on you...I wanted to leave so that things would be easier on you. I have a lot of regrets with what happened and how I handled the situation. I'm truly sorry and if you don't want to talk to me again, I can understand your sentiments. Despite what happened though, it feels good to be back on MAL.
all right, so this isn't an official blog entry (hence why i'm ignoring proper grammar and using my normal type style of no capitalization and ellipsis abuse) but this entry will be used to keep track off all my previous images and media i have used on MAL (with commentary to prevent this from simply being an image dump)...
current profile pic
domo-kun
okay, so it's weird that i cut off my face in this pic, but i wanted the focus to be on the sexiness of domo-kun...let's face it, it's a pretty kick ass shirt, but when you're a college student, you don't want to be caught dead wearing that around campus... T_T (chicks don't dig otakus, :P)...
previous profile pics
bath time marril
this one was dedicated to Sayuri...it's kind of a silly inside joke, but through various conversations, my little sister's marril plush is currently dating sayuri's togepi plush...the bath time was a snapshot of him getting ready for their first date...lame? yes... unbearably cute? yes again...some people liked the pic though...ZoiQ described it as a "royal win"... :)
lee jun ki hairstyle
so after watching the korean drama my girl, i became obsessed with lee jun ki's hairstyle...here is a pic of him if you don't know what he looks like...i essentially tried growing out my hair to mimic his style, but based on the fact that i don't have a super model face (mine's a little chubby,^^;) and no professional hair stylists at my disposal, there's no way i could ever look like him...the pic still came out okay so i decided to use it... :D
pink tie
ahh...the pink tie...the word on the street is that pink is the new black and that only real men wear pink...*coughs*...hmm, okay...so maybe i'm just trying to cover up the fact that i wore a pink tie but that's okay! i actually kind of hate this picture mostly cause my hair is short...i prefer my hair long...the picture was taken after we celebrated my parents' anniversary...we went to a very expensive restaurant where formal attire was required with a jacket...this was taken after the dinner when we got back home (without the jacket of course)...
dr. pepper
dr. pepper! the beverage of champions and one of my favorite soft drinks...i love it so much that i apparently spent $16.99 on a shirt bearing its awesomeness...what's funny about this pic is that if you look closely at the bottom right hand corner, you can actually see toilet paper, rofl...that's pretty pathetic considering i could have easily cropped that part out when i resized the pic but i didn't notice until i uploaded it here on MAL...silly me!
other various pics
i believe i had two other profile pictures before the dr. pepper one but i can't find them in my photobucket account...i usually always delete pictures that i don't use from my computer and i rarely take pictures since it makes me feel like a cam whore...one showed me with a light blue, button up, collared shirt while the other was just me in a plain white t-shirt...describing them is pointless, i know, but i suppose you could always use your imagination... :D
current profile layout images
ouran high school host club love, version 7
the premise for this one is pretty easy...it's basically my favorite anime couples/pairings...i decided to use ohshc as the anime to give off a romantic and slightly cute vibe since most people are familiar with the series (and thus preventing the "what anime is that in your profile?" comments) and because i felt that it matched the premise well...the main header showing tamaki and haruhi hugging looks simple but it was a pain extracting the image and working with the stock to produce the end result...notice that the clothing has no colors while the skin and hair does have colors? hurray for layer masks and selective coloring! :)
previous profile layout images
OMG! it's a kitty cat, version 6.5
not really a layout since it's just a random image of a kitten, but its unbearable cuteness compelled me to use it in my "about me" section...as for where i got the image, i stole it off of some guy's photobucket account...do i feel bad about it? no, not really...could i have resisted stealing it? no, not really...will i ever stop asking myself questions and then answering them? no, probably not...
college snapshot, version 6
basically, the picture was taken while i was pulling an all nighter, studying for my intermediate investments class at the library...it gives insight into what career i'm choosing as well as a "snapshot" of what i see on a normal basis...i guess that's what i was trying to go for...i made the pic's contrast high and then used a lighting effect to get the middle section to be lit up, leaving the other areas are dark...i then sharpened some of the areas to make the text readable (the starbucks doubleshot can, blackberry phone, and the text i added)...the text that i added used some blending options to make it readable as well...
buddy list, version 5
so, yeah...this one is actually a video and i think i might be the first person to have created a youtube video here on MAL for the sole purpose of profile use...the video mentions everyone here on MAL who i consider a friend (there was 50 people in total and were all from my friends list)...the idea was stolen off of http://myanimelist.net/profile/Faust721" target="_blank">Faust721 since i consider him to be the one who started the whole "buddy list" fad here on MAL...the most painful experience was timing the lyrics text to the song...ever tried doing that in adobe premiere? well, don't...because it's a pain in the ass and i wanted to slam my face into the wall after i finished the project... >:(
dating cycle, version 4
this one is pretty image heavy and definitely not 56k friendly...the theme behind this one is to humorously recreate that vicious cycle known as "love"...basically, the first gif shows the dinner, the second shows the actual date, the third shows the break up, the fourth shows when the guy realizes he loved the girl who broke up with him, and the final gif shows the make up but with the girl still abusing the guy...i extracted the frames from the movie "my sassy girl" (korean romantic comedy and my favorite asian movie of all time) using virtual dub and then edited them in imageready to what you see above (i had to remove the subtitles)...
anyways, i'll be back later to finish this entry since i'm going to go shower now cause i smell, eat breakfast, and then go to class... :D
We’ve all been there before, those songs that you just can’t stand and makes you want to rip your hair out upon listening to them. I have compiled a list of my top ten most annoying songs. Be warned, this blog entry may bring back some horrible memories…
10. Wannabe – Spice Girls “Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want. So tell me what you want, what you really really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want. So tell me what you want, what you really really want. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really…” WANT THIS SONG TO END. That’s pretty bad when not even 30 seconds into the song and you already desire to never hear it ever again. Whoever came up with the concept of the Spice Girls must have thought he had a good thing going. “Let’s take 5 hot girls and make them sing and dance and label each one with a shallow personality!” But alas, little did this person know that he unleashed a pure evil onto the world. This song makes me want to vomit all over myself.
9. Stacy’s Mom – Fountains of Wayne “I know it might be wrong, but I’m in love with Stacy’s mom.” Hurray for songs about finding your friend’s mother attractive! That’s what makes this song so annoying. You see, I have jackass friends who make comments like “Dude, your mom is a total MILF” or “If I were given the chance, I would totally be your daddy.” “Uhhh…this is my mother you’re talking about so if you could refrain from making comments like that, that would be great! kthxbai!” Needless to say, when I first heard this song, it really pissed me off. This song makes me want to run naked through a field of poison ivy.
8. Thundercats Theme Song “Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats! HOOOOOO! Thundercats are on the move! Thundercats are loose! Feel the magic! Hear the roar! Thundercats are loose!” When I first saw the opening theme where he extends his sword with lightning shooting down and a kickass electric guitar in the background, I was like, “Holy crap! This show is gonna be awesome!” Upon watching the actual episode and realizing its complete lameness, I figured out that the show wasn’t even half as exciting as the opening theme made it out to be. This song makes me want to extend a sword right into my chest.
7. Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani “This shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S!” This song is S-H-I-T-T-Y! I still remember my first encounter with Hollaback Girl. I was given a ride by a friend and she had this song playing in her car. I literally said, “What the hell is this?” After this encounter, I never asked her for a ride again. There’s always a chance that she still plays it. “Would you change the CD please? If not, you can drop me off here. I’ll just walk the next 15 miles to my home.” This song makes me want to slip on a banana and fall down a flight of stairs.
6. I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred “I’m too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts.” Right Said Fred should be Right Said DEAD for creating such an abomination known as the song “I’m Too Sexy.” Not only that, apparently Fred and I have different definitions of sexy as well. Can someone explain to me how anyone can find this picture sexy? This song makes me want to slam my head into a wall repeatedly.
5. Barney Theme Song “I love you…You love me…We’re a happy family…” I’m not even going to give an explanation as to why I hate this song since it’s not necessary. If anything, the concept of a purple dinosaur that talks and spreads the powers of friendship and love is creepy/annoying enough to make this song on the list. This song makes me wish a dinosaur would tear me apart, limb from limb.
4. Witch Doctor – Sha Na Na “Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang!” Repeat that same nonsensical, yet strangely addictive, chorus 50 million times in 3 minutes and you have a recipe for torturing even the most strong willed and toughest guys. Not only that, remember the cartoon Alvin and the Chipmunks? What could be better than 3 prepubescent chipmunks with really high voices singing this song? This song makes me wish my ear drums would implode within itself and then instantaneously burst into flames.
3. Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice “Quick to the point, to the point no fakin’! I’m cookin’ MCs like a pound of bacon!” The only thing Vanilla Ice was cooking when he created Ice Ice Baby was a horrible song, an annoying chorus (ice ice baby x 3496830486 times), and a music video that makes baby Jesus cry. The dancing in the video was nothing short of pure garbage. I’m not even sure if you can call it dancing so let’s just classify it as “a pathetic collection of arm thrusts and quirky leg movements with dignity lost at each motion.”
2. Who Let The Dogs Out – Baha Men “Who let the dogs out? (Who, who, who, who, who?)” I think the real question here is who let this song be made? Horrible memories flood back into my mind whenever I hear it. Why? Because I was the school mascot for my junior high school (the Oglesby Washington Bulldogs) and during basketball games, in a gym that’s over 90 degrees, I was forced to dance to this horrible song to get the crowd pumped and cheering (and lose all hope of ever dating a girl in the process). This song makes me wish that a dog would bite me in the crotch so my mind could focus on that pain instead of this horrible song.
1. Wheels On The Bus “The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round!” The song then continues with “the horn on the bus goes beep beep beep” or “the wipers on the bus go swish swish swish” following a similar format. Combine all these traits, a highly repetitive and annoying rhythm, and a bunch of kids singing it all at the same time and you have my most annoying song ever. This song makes me want to punch a dozen puppies in the face.These pictures were posted in another forum I'm a member of, but I updated them and decided to post them here. Anyways, this entry will be pretty long so please only read it if you have a lot of time to kill. :D
