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Some convo we felt like doing on MSN. Great stuff I think!

Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Oh great, lets hear about the story of the shittiest character of Blazblue!
J says:
now this is a story all about how....
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So we open to Noel, of course, bitching about Ragna treating her poorly for obvious reasons.
For some reason, she questions if she did something wrong.
Insert reason here:
Dammit, I can't think of anything.
Can you?
J says:
too tired to be witty
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Anyway, Noel is on a swing apparently and the narrator tells you she's "Truly confused!"
J says:
(with her sexuality)
(as she sees litchi)
cue fanfiction
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
She then flashbacks on how she was complaining about how she was bitching at Ragna for being rude to her....
Then Ragna tells her to go away.
At first she's somewhat resiliant, but then she just gives up and leaves.
She then comments "Seriously though, he didn't have to be so rude to me!"
"Noel, pull yourself together! Ragna the Bloodedge is your enemy... I... Know that, but... Why do I..."
:/
J says:
transmission end
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
I love it when female leads are horny for the male lead for no reason.
J says:
arakune devours her
and nobody knows the details thereafter
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
She then flashbacks to Jin insulting her as well.
J says:
all records have been lost
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Well, no surprise really.
It's hard not to insult her.
Apparently she thinks there's something weird with Jin, Rachel and Nu.
Nooooo really?
Noel has no clue what to do now.
Then Makoto appear.
Apparently Makoto came to give her orders.
Apparently she has to return to her headquaters.
She questions why they're doing this because Ragna and Jin are still at large...
J says:
Makoto came?
she really likes Noel...
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
And of course, they think that having a weak minded, inadequate woman like Noel will change that...
Hmmmmm...
I really got to question the power of the library if this is the case.
Makoto pretty just says the equivalent of "I dunno."
Apparently Makoto is hiding her identity and is surprised that Noel didn't know who she is...
Then she reveals herself.
"Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-"
J says:
Mama Luigi
who thought a library would inspire power anyways?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel then comes over to give Makoto a hug.
J says:
Libaries rent out books. The average librarian could be fucking downed in a single punch
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
As the narrator describes it...
"It was only moments ago that Makoto's uniform was a cold symbol of NOL authority, but now... it was a shining beacon of hope, comfort and friendship..."
What is this, the villain turned good trope?
So Noel tells Makoto the whole story of what happened to her in the last game.
Noel comments "I just didn't know what to do!"
Makoto then tells her "shouldn't all this information be classified? Like, shouldn't you not tell me any of this?"
J says:
How could you expect a mentally disabled girl to know what to do?
And of course Noel acts professionally by divulging classified information as well
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Then Noel freaks out in her typically annoying manner and obnoxiously tells Makoto to forget and that she's sorry...
sure....
Whatever.
Makoto just lols and is like "yeah, whatever. I'll keep my mouth shut. That's so very like you..."
Then noel just laughs at the idea of it.
Kinda like what I did when the creator conceived her character.
Then the narrator describes her as follows:
J says:
incompetent
flat
useless?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
"To those who know her, Noel was naturally a klutz and prone to emotional outbursts, but that's what made her most endearing... to some. But those qualities were... awkward... for a member of the praetorian guard.
Do I sense some sort of non-sensical character conception among all of this?
Noel asks what Makoto was doing in Kagutsuchi
Apparently she was there on duty to investigate what was going on with the missing branch members of the NOL.
Makoto notes that she finds it odd how the entire organization has been... off lately. Especially Hazama.
J says:
Nah, Hazama's completely normal!
A lot of people dress like Michael Jackson and throw snakes around
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn3/Deadpool_Drew/46043_119739531411436_100001261682882_136915_280598_n.jpg
So Makoto saids she has to get going...
Then Noel just whines that she has to leave then says "good luck, okay?"
Makoto asks "Noel, seriously, are you OK?"
"Oh, I'm fine."
Makoto then tells him that Jin is at the docking bay or something and that she should go speak to him.
Oh, and avoid Hazama as well.
J says:
If Noel's whining and not doing her job, it means that she's ok.
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel arrives at her destination.
J says:
Hell?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
She finds Carl on the ground weakend for some reason.
Carl says it's nothing.
Knowing this is obviously bullshit, Noel demands Carl that he tells her what happened.
Then some ringing happens in both of their heads.
In the words of Carl "Ah-ahhhh! Uwaaaaahhhhh!"
J says:
Weakened or masturbating?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently memories are flowing into Carl.
J says:
"flowing"
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Then he keeps shouting Sis...
J says:
gross
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently, Carl is pissed off at something his father did to his sister.
And Noel is questioning why she's seeing his memories.
For some reason, Nirvana attacks Noel.
And for some reason, Carl believe Noel is the enemy.
BATTLE COMMENCES!
Win or lose?
Oh look, just to make things easy for me...
They take away half of Carl's health away!
Hurray!
Well I won.
Apparently Carl was like "I guess I shouldn't have thought of attacking Noel with my injuries!"
Well gee, who would think some dumb blond girl with guns would harm you?
*Carl collapses.*
Of course, Noel is feeling guilt for attacking over this and is freaking out as a result.
She sure knows how to stay in character!
Alright!
Bang appears!
A REAL man!
"You there! How could you! Of course, I know better than any man that a duel is a duel, but this child was injured - AND WAS A CHILD! How could you do this... TO A CHILD!"
You still therE?
Noel is naturally at a loss for words.
J says:
noel may not be good at doing her job, but she's good at shooting injured children
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
"Aaaaarrrgh! My ears burn when they hear the lies of a fiends! Carl, you must be strong! I, Bang Shishigami, will avenge you!"
Dammit, I'm going to intentionally lose this one.
Oh wait, they give me two options.
Either...
"you try to calm him down"
or
"Go for the strategic withdrawal!"
J says:
calm him down
and then lose the ensuing fight
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
I went with the strategic withdrawal.
J says:
too bad
justice was not served
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel then pouts "Um-m... I .... I'm very sorry!"
Then runs off.
"Eh!? How can she dare--- To turn her back on a situation like this! She must be the lowest of low! Guh... Carl... She leaves me no choice! I will let her go... this time."
No doubt to run in fear from Bang is the best option.
J says:
such a good excuse
man if only hitler had said he was sorry
when he killed 6,000,000 jews
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
How would a low tier, shitty character expect to beat a godly manly man like Bang?
J says:
or the people at Guantanamo had said "umm...umm...I'm sorry"
and then retreated
I would have definitely forgiven them
the moral of this story is that
shooting injured children is o
k
so long as you are sorry for it afterward
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Now Noel is out at this area where it's raining and is question what she's doing.
And whines because she apparently didn't want "any of this!"
So she now runs around aimlessly...
For some reason.
Then she literally runs into Carl's dad.
And bounces off.
Of course, Noel apologizes saying she wasn't looking where she was going.
J says:
stupid and blind
poor girl
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So apparently Carl's dad knows who she is and remarks that she's still alive somehow.
Well gee, given you pissed off Bang...
I'm surprised as well.
Noel asks who he is.
And he just does an evil laugh and remarks "Truly a masterpiece!
Apparently he initially considered Noel a total failure, but remarks he still has much to learn.
Noel keeps telling him to answer her.
Then Carl's dad says he wants to take her home and give her a thorough examination.
J says:
Piece is kind of a weird last name
Carl's dad is a gynecologist, you see.
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Which he's excited for, apparently.
Noel is of course shouting "Stay away from me!" in the typical rape victim manner.
But apparently, she can't move.
Apparently, it's fear that's keeping her locked down...
Sure...
Whatever.
J says:
cue east german national anthem
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GauhWG340dI&feature=related
Then Rachel appears.
And teleports her away from being raped.
Noel losing consciousness.
Oh yay!
Flashback!
So it's Noel and Tsubaki at the academy.
Tsubaki asks if Noel is all right.
J says:
then makoto gives noel a wedgie
noel wakes up and realizes that the academy sucks
and that she should stop having these fucking inane flashbacks
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Ironically, Makoto appears...
And says she's been on edge after eating some sort of choclate.
J says:
the punchline: that wasn't chocolate
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Makoto remarks that Noel has been more out of it as usual.
Tsubaki checks to see is she didn't bump her head.
J says:
and if she didn't, tsubaki makes sure that it happens
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently Makoto is excited{naturally as she is a squirrel girl} because some pastry event is coming up.
And she wants to get Noel and Tsubaki to come along.
Cue next scene.
We see Noel, Tsubaki and Jin.
Apparently Tsubaki and Noel went to some student council.
I think...
Apparently they're talking about having lunch...
Oh fucking hell.
J says:
So Noel, Tsubaki and Jin are at a pastry convention
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
How do they expect anyone to care about any of this shit?
Seriously?
J says:
They see a sign that says "Fresh Creampies"
Jin looks at Noel and Tsubaki
and has an idea
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Carl appears.
Apparently he finished something that Jin asked him to do.
Jin congratulates him and asks if he wants to eat lunch with him.
So they decide to eat lunch and Makoto is there too...
And they note the deliciousness of bread.
J says:
Jin sent him into a mine to make sure there wasn't poisonous gas inside
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Man, this scene is so...
Amazingly...
Fucking...
Boring!
J says:
This scene is of utmost importance to the plot
that bread is a weapon
it's what gives makoto her power
injured carl
allowed hazama to rise to power
turned jin evil
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Carl notes that the bread has an interesting color.
J says:
made noel incompetent
all of that is because of this picnic
Punchline: It's not bread.
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Makoto says its amazing..
In a really overly dramatic way.
Carl is like
"ummmm... Okay."
Makoto offer Carl the bread.
Apparently Makoto force feeds him.
Carl says it's quite good.
Jin tells them to politely shut the fuck up.
Tsubaki offers him bread.
Jin notes the bread is quite good.
J says:
Flashback within a flashback!
Ragna is taking pills
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently Jin notices sauce on Tsubaki's cheek and remarks that it's not like her at all.
J says:
and talking with a baker
he slips the pills into the dough
flashback end
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So Jin wiped her face with a napkin.
J says:
Jin notices sauce on Tsubaki's face and comments that he's used to seeing "white liquid on her face, not sauce"
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently Noel then cues in that these were fond memories.
And apparently none of this happened?
What?
J says:
that was a meaningful cutscene
because it showed what could have happened
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
That scene - Absolutely pointless.
J says:
in a very boring game
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Well, its story anyway.
J says:
which, it will now be emphasized, blazblue cs is not
cue fight
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So Noel wakes up...
And see Jubei.
Furry sex?
Noel freaks out at the prospect of him being a furry.
Jubei introduces himself and Noel realizes it's the same name as one of the Six Heroes...
J says:
didn't this happen in the first game?
about 100 times
haven't we already established who jubei is?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
You know, I always found that trope funny where if one guy does something uberly epic that no one else shares their name. Thus if they introduce themselves by that name, everyone instantly assumes it's that guy who did that uberly epic thing.
J says:
yeah obviously there are no other jubeis
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So apparently she freaks out after realizing he's one of the six heroes and asks him to forgive her for her "rudeness"...
Ah, yeah...
Okay.
Jubei is like "lol it's all right"
Noel continues her apologizing bullshit.
Apparently Jubei says he's fine with it being informal.
So Noel just says she'll call him Mr.Jubei.
J says:
Noel doesn't make any sense as a character
Seriously, if she actually worked for the military in a realistic storyline, she would have been fired by now for sure
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel tells Jubei the whole story of what happened to her.
J says:
cue flashback
noel and jin and tsubaki are riding on a ferris wheel
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
You know, I'm still rather baffled how the last scene Rachel teleported Noel away from being raped...
And now we're with some furry out in the jungle?
J says:
makoto and a mysterious figure are on another cart
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
WTF is that loli vampire thinking?
J says:
noel's shoe falls off and hits jubei on the head
end flashback
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So apparently Jubei says he'll keep her safe and asks if she was hungry.
Of course, the typical cliche roles in when the character says they're not hungry then their stomach immediately growls.
Then the character offering the food is "oh, derp. You fucking liar. I'm gonna get ya food!"
J says:
and noel brought no rations with her
nor did her organization provide any money
for the purchase of food
because apparently that's not a concern of her employers
then again, it's Noel, so I don't blame them
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Well lets face it...
Would you give a rats ass about Noel if you were a head of some military organization?
J says:
no need to fire Noel. They can just not pay her or give her rations
suddenly the storyline is much more logical
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
I mean, I'd be all for sending her after the most dangerous criminal in the world who has single-handedly destroy many of our sects and an insance ice car riding masochist.
So apparently Jubei somehow feeds Noel a 5-star hotel meal.
Apparently he has really good cooking experience...
But like, are you telling me he has a hotel quality kitchen out in the middle of the forrest?
Fuck I'm confused.
So Jubei then skips ahead and asks if he she's ready to meet Jin Kisaragi.
Noel asks why.
J says:
brb
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
According to Jubei, she's the only one who can save him.
J says:
I need to pump water from the well and chop firewood
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
literally?
J says:
back
pffft
yeah
didn't you know? I live on a 3rd world African farm
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
I thought it was China you lived in.
J says:
yeah in a sweatshop
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So anyway...
J says:
so where were we?
Jin is an ice cream mascot?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Jubei tells Noel that she's the only one who can save Jin.
J says:
Jubei checks Noel into Motel 6 for some grub?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel asks why.
J says:
because she has the one ring
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
*What
Jubei replies "Well, his fate."
Noel "ummm... What?"
I like how the author describes how I feel about the plot.
"Noel found it difficult to follow Jubei's train of thought. Everything seemed so abstract that she couldn't put anything into context."
J says:
it's ok, the plot will actually be explained in a way that makes sense
for only 10$ DLC!
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
And then Jubei is like "oh, don't worry your little pretty head about it. It's nothing."
The why fucking bring it up in the first place?
WTF?
J says:
"Hey Noel, you're destined to save the world"
"What?"
"Oh don't worry about it. It's nothing!"
Certainly not important
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So Noel asks how she's suppose to go about this.
And Jubei say "I dunno. It's a game of chance I reckon."
Noel "I see..."
"I'll do what I can."
Jubei "You sure you want to do this? Because nothing but violence and cruelty will await you."
Okay, I seriously don't get this at all.
He's telling her she has to do it and now he's telling her she shouldn't?
Writers: Consistency? What
's that?
J says:
"You're the only one who can save the world"
"Should I?"
"No. Nothing but violence and catastrophe awaits"
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Jubei says she'll hope her no matter what she does.
Then Noel asks if he knows Jin well.
J says:
she'll hope her?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Jubei apparently says he knew him a long time ago.
J says:
flashback
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
When he was a child, apparently.
J says:
Jubei and Jin are at college
Jin has a box of tic-tacs
he pours out the tic-tacs
and puts vicodin into the empty tic-tac bottle
Later, he forgets
Jubei knows Jin often carries around tic-tacs
and asks for a few
Jin obliges, and Jubei takes the Vicodin
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So apparently Noel reflects on the past and recalls that Jin always hated her and wonders why he hated her so much.
J says:
flashback end
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel questions that due to this she doesn't know if she should save Jin or not.
So Noel, of course, decides to go after Jin.
J says:
Why would he hate an incompetent, annoying, obnoxious BUT CUTE LITTLE GIRL like me?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel says she doesn't know if she'll succeed or not but will go irregardless.
My bet - failure.
J says:
Noel is The One
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Jubei tells Noel to seek Ragna if she wants to find Jin since Jin is gay for Ragna and follows him everywhere.
Jubei then asks Noel to promise him that she'll see things through to the end because SHE IS THE ONE!
Noel, of course, agrees to this and leaves.
Then Jubei questions if Rachel if this is the right thing to do.
Naturally, she appears.
Rachel just remarks "That child must become stronger... Much stronger."
J says:
translation: No you fucking idiot. Noel sucks. What the hell are you doing?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Next scene - Noel in Orient town.
J says:
Orient Town
man
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel decides to ask around.
J says:
they sure were clever with that one
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently, no one knows where Ragna is.
J says:
they had to name it something that people would understand
albeit something more ambiguous than "chinatown"
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
She runs into Tager.
J says:
because if it was named something that actually sounded Japanese or Chinese, nobody would get it
obviously
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Tager recognizes Noel.
And Noel asks what he's doing here.
Tager said he was here on a mission... then says he IS here on a mission.
Noel asks what he means by "was"?
Tager says "YOU are my mission, Miss Vermillion"
J says:
then he whips out his gigantic tager
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel says she has no time for him.
J says:
end story
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Tager then says that he simply can't let her walk away and that it's just business.
Then he asks "have you really not heard of anything?"
J says:
pimps gotta make monay too
just a bizness
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel doesn't know what he's talking about.
FIGHT START!
J says:
what epic backstory
that really revealed a lot
"I'm on a mission, and it's you"
"Why?"
Fight begins
Next up
Noel meets Ragna
"Hey, I need you to join me to help save Jin"
"No"
Fight begins
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel beats Tager.
And apparently Tager's engine is powered down.
The sexual innuedos continue!
J says:
his "engine" huh
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel remarks she didn't injure him too badly so he should be fine after some rest.
And that he should never cross her again.
Such an intimidating person...
J says:
that's how she justified shooting injured children during the kagatsuchi civil war too
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel leaves.
J says:
she was responsible for 40% of the casualties in that war
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently Tager apologizes to Kokonoe for losing her.
J says:
all of which were collateral...
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Then we see that someone who's likely Tsubaki is following her.
She's questioning why people are coming after her.
J says:
but it turns out to be mecha-tsubaki
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Oh fucking hell...
J says:
a new invention of Kokonoe Korp!
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
ANOTHER FUCKING FLASHBACK!
J says:
oh oh oh oh
ok
tsubaki and noel are on a plane
with hazama
and samuel jackson is on the same plane
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So apparently Tsubaki is teaching something to Noel and Makoto.
J says:
see where I'm going with this?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
You're meaning to tell there will be racoon with rabies on the mothafuckin plane!?
Well at least this scene has some purpose...
Which isn't related to any of these characters development at all.
J says:
yeah
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
They're using this scene to define what a grimoire is.
J says:
I'm sick and tired of these motherfucking incompetents in this motherfucking military establishment
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently according to Tsubaki it's "One of the six heroes who was a mage simplified a form of sorcery known as the Ars Magus and you need a grimoire to use it."
Oh wow, we needed an entire flashback scene to tell you that.
J says:
Arse Mahass
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
apparently Tsubaki says there's different types of Ars Magus and they're classified in different levels of dangerousness.
J says:
and the most dangerous is bang's
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently, the highest is nox nocturnes which everyone in the entire friggin cast has apparently.
Oh wait, we actually get character development for Noel!
J says:
boo!
she's flat!
as a character and otherwise!
why change that?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently after she was taken into house vermillion she was attacked by a monster{like to have tentacles} and for some random ass reason guns appeared in her hands and the monster died.
Thus she got a Nox nocturnes!
Apparently there's 6 Nox Noctores weapons.
And they don't even know if they exist.
Yeah, well...
I guess they don't seem to know who Bang is, do they?
J says:
great
so there could have been tentacle rape
and instead we ended up with a worthless chick who's only in the story because of the guns she got during that incident
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So after some random, pointless dialog Jin pops up.
J says:
from the ground
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
He wants to see Tsubaki.
J says:
"see"
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So Makoto and Noel do girl talk.
"Oh, they would make such a nice couple!"
And they wish there was a nice boy for them somewhere.
So basically...
A squirrel boy and an equally useless male for Noel.
Man, what great couples!
After that scene, Noel then wonders what she was thinking about.
J says:
dan hibiki for noel
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Now we're at some huge garden and Noel is exhausted from walking.
So she decides to take a break because the place is so SUPER KAWAII DESU!
Someone appears.
J says:
this is such a relevant flashback
can we learn about noel's prom too?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
No, we're in the present now.
J says:
how about her 14th birthday?
oh, that's even worse
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
After Noel was wondering what she was thinking about.
So anyway, Obviously not Tsubaki appears before Noel.
Tsubaki, of course, tells Noel she's a failure and that she's will be punished.
I like her already!
She says she's not giving up until she finds Jin!
So Tsubaki reveals herself.
Noel is shocked it's Tsubaki.
J says:
"reveals herself"
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Whereas the audience isn't.
J says:
that sounds suggestive
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Tsubaki says she'll find Jin for her and that Noel should just retreat.
Noel says "no, I have to! Because I am THE ONE!"
Tsubaki then says if she doesn't she'll kill her.
After some arguing, the fight commences.
"Resist, and YOUR PUNISHMENT SHALL BE DEATH!"
Why did I like that line so much?
J says:
you should lose
then it will prove that tsubaki is the one
or something
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
I don't wanna lose cuz I'll have to start all over again, unfortunately.
Anyway, Noel wins and apologizes for beating the crap out of her.
Apparently Noel asks if Tsubaki was holding back
And apparently she wasn't.
And she feels she couldn't beat Noel anyway.
BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONE!
Tsubaki then tells Noel to go on.
ACHIEVE YOUR DESTINY!
They're moving closer together...
Fuck man, this would make weeabo's horny.
Because Tsubaki wants to see Noel's face.
Apparently, Noel suddenly gets Tsubaki's orders.
And figures out Hazama ordered Tsubaki to kill Noel.
So Noel runs off.
She then goes to the NOL branch.
Noel figures that Hazama is on the top floor.
J says:
let's get down to business
to defeat...the one
did they send me hazama
when I asked...for guns?
I thought she was trying to save Jin
how does hazama factor?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
And Noel doesn't even feel is a hunch. She feels like he knows he's there.
Of course Hazama is on the top floor.
Aren't all video game bosses on the top floor?
So Noel reaches the top floor.
Of course that troll Hazama is there.
J says:
or the bottom floor
if it's underground
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Hazama is like "oh, you're the first person to show up? Congratulartions!"
J says:
you won an ipod mini!
story end
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel: "I will never forgive you. Ever!"
Hazama: "What's this? It looks like you're ready to kill someone. You look awfully scary."
Noel: "What did you do to Tsubaki?"
Hazama: "Ah, so you observed that, huh? Yes...yes you have! Has anyone ever told you that you had the most stunning eyes?"
Noel: "What did you do to her!?"
J says:
rape escape
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Hazama: "Ahhh, right... Uh, what did you say her name was again? Tsubaki, right? I think I vaguely remember her... You'll have to forgive me. I mean, would you expect a carpenter to remember all the tools he's ever used?"
Noel then reveals Hazama to be Terumi.
J says:
DUN DUN DUN
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Hazama becomes horny and impressed.
"Yes, yes... You've got it! Strike me down with all of your hatred! You've got it! Let's see some more! I believe in you!"
J says:
so I looked up some information on hazama
"Material Collection InformationHobby: Collecting Silver Accessories
Likes: Boiled Eggs
Dislikes: Cats, Loud noises "
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Noel: "HATE.... HATRED! MALICE! DESPITE!"
J says:
Given this, wouldn't Taokaka be the one?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Fight commences...
After easily winning again...
So Noel demands what Hazama is trying to do.
So Hazama is impressed with her efforts and figures he'll give her one answer...
Then he sends her to some darken world...
So apparently she can't stop trembling...
And some guy is making some sort of shouting sound like he's being raped up the ass or something.
And Noel is shouting "Stop it, Stop this!"
Then you hear a woman crying and some *thump* as if somebody was boring then a large NOOOOOOOO!
WTF did I just see?
Noel getting born or something?
Well at least that's enough to provoke the NOOOOOO
So apparently Hazama reveals his goals is to kill everyone.
Noel asks why.
Then Hazama tells Noel to remember all the bad things that humans did to her.
Noel asks why...
Again...
Redundacy occurs.
Hazama's response "Well, that one's easy! Because you're all creatures that are made to be loathed! Hated! Despised!"
What a swell guy.
So apparently Noel was teleported to some world with a bunch of dead monsters...
Or something...
I dunno.
None of this makes any sense to me.
So apparently as he explains it...
People found some gate or whatever and tried to get through the end of it but they couldn't since being in the gate killed.
But somehow, some guy managed to get to the end and found some discovery or whatever.
J says:
huhwha
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So apparently they builty some robot with a soul or whatever and grew emotions or whatever.
J says:
monsterspregnancybillgatesisevilwhat
where is this story goin?
what happened to The One confronting Jin and saving him?
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
So apparently this robot thing they built also developed some sort of uber power.
And apparently the eye was capable of observing whatever it wanted and whatever it observed was real...
Whatever that means.
Apparently the scientists tried to seal it back into the gate or whatever.
Because it was getting too powered!
So apparently, they decided to make more of these sort of robots with the same sort of power only with no emotions and becoming their puppets.
So apparently as it turns out...
Noel is one of them.
Well gee, I never knew science could fail so much.
J says:
so noel is a defective robot
ok geat
great
we already knew that from the first game
this sure is a revelation
Drew - This is bad! I'm becoming sober! says:
Apparently Noel already knew this and was in denial.
And Hazama keeps taunting her about this and she freaks out.
Then...
Animu cutscene.
Fuck, I'm oddly having a hard time finding the English version of this scene.
But after that, her story ends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4SSxs32Q3w&feature=relatedIt's at 1:26
Man, Hazama is an awesome troll.
I love this guy.
I like how she comes down and is like "I AM DEATH! THE DESTROYER OF ALL LIVING CREATURES!"
Subtle.