ZettaiRyouiki's Blog

Back to ZettaiRyouiki's Blog

WARNING: BECAUSE OF REASONS I MUST TELL EVERYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 TO GET OUT OF MY BLOG! OBEY OR I’LL BE DEFENESTRATED! ALSO BE WARY OF WILD ROAMING SPOILERS! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

Welcome back. Last time I fought Pride Takao, of the Seven Anime Sins. She was one mean cow and also a teacher, I mean a cheater. So my Mistress spanked her good, go her! Now we’re checking this one club about a game series I quite enjoy.

: You can say the name, slave. It’s Pokémon. Riri seems to like it as well.

Hey, I wanted to keep it a surprise. But yes, it’s a Pokémon Club. Wonder if I can get a free bicycle out of this...

: What for? You can’t ride it.

Don’t question my capricious whims, mist- *enters the club and suddenly vanishes*

: Wait, slave? Zettai? ZETTAAAAAAAAAAI!

-ress! *reappears* Huh? One second ago I was entering a room and now I’m inside something soft and warm... Though I’m not alone, seems there is someone here.

Voice: Welcome, Zettai, and your clumsy self-narration too.

Ack, Utaha! Wait, despite that comment you look nothing like her. Closer to Eriri, if anything.

Voice: So you recognize me, this should help.

Indeed, you are...



...but that doesn’t answer why you are here.

: I made this club so I could take naps. For whatever reason no one is interested much in Pokémon here.

Right, I blame anime otaku only caring about galge and- wait, naps? So we are...

: Right, we’re inside my bed, covered by blankets. *hugs Zettai tightly* Hmmm, you’re softer than any hugging pillow... *nuzzles against him*

E-Eek! *is paralyzed*

: So comfy... *falls asleep*

H-hey! Wake up! *hugs Caitlin tightly with one arm, while his free hand fondles her butt*

: Ah! *wakes up and farts*

Uh, what was that? *seems interested*

: Morning gas... *breaks wind a few more times, unladylike loud ones too*

Looks like fun mornings... *likes it*

: All yours! *teleports herself outside, leaving Zettai with her smells*

Hey, what are you...? *gags and squirms from the smell*

: Don’t get out! *teleports on top of Zettai, sitting on him over the blanket*

Oww! *squirms from the smell and sexy pinning*

: Finally, a door! *walks into the room with Caitlin’s bed* That corridor felt too long, but luckily I can jump backwards really fast.

: Oh, a visitor.

: Hello. Have you seen my slave?

: No.

MMMMMPH! *squirms harder from the smell*

: That sounds like my slave’s whimpering! I could recognize it anywhere!

: Sorry, but... *yawns* ...that’s not your slave; it’s my slave, I trapped him in the sheets with my morning gas.

: That’s a great idea... I mean, I know this is Zettai! *pushes Caitlin away with a butt attack, then opens the sheets* Ack, stinks!

: Sigh... I told you.

Hello, Mistress! She trapped me in this stinky bed, it was horrible!

: You don’t look like you HATED it, naughty slave! I’ll do this to you once we are home, as punishment!

Sure! I mean, oh no Mistress!

: If I may talk, I can help you find the ones you want.

Really?

: Of course, my psychic powers don’t lie. But you have to do two things.

Deal!

: First, I want a blog.

Easy!

: Second, you need to face me in a Pokémon battle.

Huh?

: Drop the monosyllables, slave.

: I told you, no one comes to this club. I’m bored. You seem to possess a rare combination of kindness and strength, so I trust we will have a good match.

Of course! I will show you the power of Fighting-types!

: ...You’re aware I am a Psychic-user from the Elite Four of Unova, right?

That is not a problem.

: Interesting... Your battle might be even better I thought...

Head

Hair
Caitlin has brown hair. Well, this is only true in Gen 4, as in Gen 5 she has blonde hair. Her hair in Gen 4 is a dark-ish brown and is long enough to go past her waist, but just barely. Her hair is also wavy and has lots of volume, which is cool. In the Pokémon Special manga her hair goes up Super Saiyan-style when she gets angry, so we can appreciate how much hair she has. She has two large white ribbons, one on each side, making her look more adorable. In Gen 5 her hair is sadly blonde, but it gets longer and like REALLY long, reaching past her knees or so. It also gets REALLY wide, several times her width even. I wonder how she can walk with so much hair, unless she can carry it with her psychic powers. It looks absolutely gorgeous though. Sadly she is showing a bit her forehead now as she somewhat hid it on Gen 4, but is not too bad. She’s got sidebangs now at least. She also has an ADORABLE huge poofy hat on, as well as pink huge ribbons similar to her older white ones. However, this time they are on the “corners” of her hair and lift it up, making her hair look even wider. They even flutter upwards in her BW2 battle sprite, it’s amazing! Caitlin has really beautiful hair, and the only reason she doesn’t score higher is I’m not big on blondes. However I do want her to remain this way, blonde hair suits ojou and similar girls right anyway so that’s how Caitlin should be. Well, she could get brown hair again, that’d be fine.
Grade: B+

Eyes
Caitlin’s eyes are blue. Not my favorite color, but since she’s an ojou I guess that’s fine. If anything, the problem is her eye shape in Gen 4 as her eyes look too “tall” so to say. Sure, that’s how a lot of Pokémon girls look like, but that doesn’t make it any better. Worse, Caitlin’s eyes in her official art make her look a bit scared. I think they were aiming for sad, her sprite close-up from Platinum looks that way, but the official art isn’t entirely right or at least I feel that way. Luckily from Caitlin she wasn’t just in those games, but also in BW and its sequel. And in Gen 5 she has less tall eyes, they actually look pretty normal shape-wise which gives her some of the best eyes for the whole franchise. I think they’re meant to be half-closed since she is sleepy, in fact her pre-battle cut-in shows her yawning with a squinting eye, but it works for her still. The anime outright gives her a tsurime which is awesome while Special resembles more her game art. All in all Caitlin has interesting if not amazing eyes. Shauntal should put thick glasses on her, that’d help for sure.
Grade: B

Body

Build
Sadly Caitlin lacks measurements, not a surprise given her franchise but still. Anyway she looks cute and short in Gen 4, and while she is taller in Gen 5 it’s not overly so. Well, I think she’s not overly so because I don’t have much to compare her to, for maybe we could compare her better with 3D overworld models. She doesn’t look particularly talk in Special at least. The anime made Bianca crazy tall for some odd reason so whatever. Height aside she has a nice slender appearance, as usual for this series. Wish her legs were thicker, but at least she has a slender waist and moderately wide hips. She looks even smaller in Gen 5 because of her hair, which is a cool effect sorta. Overall Caitlin looks very nice.
Grade: A-

Butt
Surprise surprise, she never shows her butt to my knowledge. Guess not all girls can be like Hilda and her memetic huge ass. Her hips look wide at least, but Sugimori draws most girls with wide hips anyway. I don’t mind, duh, but it’s not a Caitlin thing. And besides, Sugimori didn’t design BW Caitlin anyway.
Grade: D

Clothes
Sadly, like most normal video game characters Caitlin has a limited wardrobe. Not too bad though. Her Gen 4 costume is a pink dress with an unusual pattern cut on the bottom side and on top a white short jacket with a big white ribbon on her chest. Unfortunately she lacks legwear, but she wears cute pink and white shoes with matching ribbons on top. It’s very princess-like. Her Gen 5 costume is also a cute princess-like pink dress, though this one covers her shoulders and she has no jacket. Well, it’s also a lighter pink except for the bottom part. I dunno why the color change, maybe she wanted to change her type when hit. She also has a transparent mantle for whatever reason and a ribbon belt. She also wears pink shoes, sadly not with her old cute ribbons but with heels. Oh, and her aforementioned great poofy hat. Both are adorable costumes and I like them, I just kinda wish she had more. As a silly but interesting fact her fashion is named “Hime-Gyaru” and now you know.
Grade: B

Mind

Personality
Caitlin debuted in Platinum’s new Battle Frontier that would later appear in HGSS. In the Frontier she was the head of the Battle Castle, though she didn’t do much beyond ordering her valet Darach to hand the player Battle Points and show up in the battle sprite with Darach when the player fought him. Black and White then revealed the reason Caitlin didn’t fight is because she had problems controlling her huge psychic powers and didn’t want to “explode” after a loss. That’s why she went to Unova alone and trained to keep her emotions under check. Her training was good enough to get her into the Elite Four of Unova at some point before the events of BW, and to keep her job two years later in the sequel. In the anime she shows up briefly to have an exhibition match with Cynthia; sadly no other Unova E4 members, sucks for Shauntal fans. Of course in Pokémon Special her screentime is better: She debuts in the Platinum arc, where she gets into the joy of fighting by seeing not-Dawn Platinum battle. She also enters into a crazy psychic mode at one point, but Darach calms her with tea because she’s very ojou. In fact, as Platinum is an ojou too they both answer to “Ojousama” at one point, which is funny. She reappears in the BW arc, where her Gothitelle helps locating the missing Gym Leaders with its mind powers. She also helps the other members from the Elite Four fight the copypaste djinns. Oh, and she was also the person who gave Black’s Munna a Moon Stone so it would become a Musharna and grow stronger as Munna wanted. I would “grow” if Caitlin mooned me too. Bad jokes aside Caitlin was in two other mangas too, but as barely cameos. And this is yet another reason PokéSpe is the best part from the franchise.

Sadly Caitlin doesn’t get a lot of stuff to do in the games, but she comes as an elegant and noble girl who enjoys battling a lot. In BW2 she gets so much into the fight she even speaks angrily at one point, but only in the first battle. She’s not childish, she accepts gracefully her loses and uses them to improve. All part of her training, of course. Caitlin is also very rich, enough to own villas all over the world. Sadly she didn’t get a cameo in XY, maybe in the next games. Hey, she jokes she may become someday a Champion, she’d be better than Diantha for sure. Cynthia also has psychic powers, nothing to be surprised of since these have been around since the original games. One without much explanation, as Pokémon in weird sometimes. She had problems controlling her powers but later tamed them, like Gohan.

I guess her team deserves a section too. As you can guess Caitlin uses Psychic types, but sadly for her by Gen 5 being Psychic sucked. She wishes this was Gen 1. Her trademark Pokémon, as in the highest-leveled one at the end of her team, is the aforementioned Gothitelle. However, in rematches and BW2 Challenge Mode she instead uses Metagross as her trademark, a far better choice as Metagross is awesome. Seems Jasmine and Sabrina use it too, go girls I like using awesome Pokémon. Sadly her team is nothing special otherwise, as half are just Psychic and in BW2 she will actually get worse at this in Challenge mode: She replaces Sigilyph for Alakazam. Besides Metagross and Sigilyph her only other dual-types are Bronzong in BW rematches and Gallade in BW2 ones. Gallade is awesome too, so not complaining. Guess they wanted her to use all Unova standard Psychic types, minus Elgyem since nobody likes it, but still she would benefit from Slowking or something in her team. Still, I guess being part of “regular” gameplay I can’t expect OU teams as that’d be postgame content if anything. Still, Caitlin is awesome and so is her team, I hope someday she’ll appear in the newer games, even if just as a cameo somewhere.
Grade: A-

Libido
Not shown, but then again Pokémon isn’t exactly a perverse franchise aside from a bunch of Nugget jokes. One NPC implies Darach has feelings for Caitlin, but that doesn’t go anywhere. That’s it for the games, and the anime and Special as well. Shippers and fanartists put her with Darach as expected, Hilbert or Nate as the BW playable males, or with one of the Unova E4 guys. Generally Marshal, a GAR dude. That’s cool, and more so since for a type joke she’s often the one in charge. Speaking about fanart likes to make her dommy a bit more often than with other girls, something naturally I enjoy. Oh, and since in BW she welcomes the player in a bed there are a lot of images and stuff parodying this. Nothing huge, but for girls like Caitlin every bit helps.
Grade: C+

Age
Caitlin is a rare Pokémon character with a defined age! Sorta. In Platinum and HGSS she is 14, this we know. However, it’s hard to gauge her exact age in BW since the exact gap isn’t know yet, the only time gap yet to be confirmed. According to the popular theories 5 years went by since 3 years go from Gen 1&3 to Gen 2&4, then between BW and BW2 two years went by, BW2 happens at the same time than XY does, and XY is set about 10 years later from the start of the timeline. Phew! With this in mind we can guess Caitlin is 19 in BW and 21 in BW2, but that sounds a bit too high. Screw it; she gets an average high school score.
Grade: B+

Voice
Miyu Matsuki has a cute voice I really like, wish she had more roles! Yes, the games aren’t voiced except for Pikachu sometimes, but she was in an anime episode. That counts. Also, in Japanese Caitlin talks ojou-ish and uses “Atakushi” as her unusual pronoun of choice, being a more feminine version of the “Watakushi” ojous use.
Grade: A-

Total: 72 (B)

: This score is not too great, compared to Suzuka’s 92 and Tharja’s 86...

They were sadists with nice butts, and you’re missing on both of these fields.

: And they had hime cuts.

They did, Mistress, but Caitlin has beautiful hair too.

: Thank you. *traps Zettai with her hair using her powers*

W-What are you doing?

: Proving I deserve a better score... *pulls Zettai face-first against her ass, his head bouncing from the impact and softness*

Well, I admit your butt IS nice and soft! And you can be quite domineering!

: Now change my score!

Unfortunately only canon material counts...

: Bah! *takes a deep breath, then frees Zettai* Sorry, I lost my cool for a second there.

Not a problem, you should do it more often!

: Maybe later. Now we should have that battle. *takes Zettai and Katja to a battlefield, then both take opposite sides*

Sure. What do I do now?

: Insert your 3DS in that machine over there.

Hopefully this one won’t break too... *inserts the 3DS, then the machine lays half a dozen Pokéballs* Wait, WHAT?

: That’s your current in-game team you’ll be facing me with.

Boy, am I glad I had my actual Fighting team in there and not a bunch of HM slaves and a hatching Talonflame...

: Talonflame was the mecha pilot one, right?

Sort of, Mistress.

: Ah, so it’s a Transformer, understood.

: Alright, so now we... *yawns* pick 3 out of our team of 6.

...Why?

: Because these are the official rules. And that’s how we do it in Japan.

Then someone should tell the Japanese the rest of the world plays differently and forcing their style on everyone else is just rude.

: If we don’t care for systems to understand DST then we won’t care either about how people play Pokémon competitively.

: That’s a valid point!

Not so sure myself, but okay.

: I get the feeling a wonderful time is about to start. I'm excited! *sends out Alakazam, the spoony fox materializing on the field and wearing a black belt*

Oh, Vanillite’s archenemy. Thankfully I am always ready for things like this! Go! *sends out Pangoro, the caped panda emerging strong and carrying a pink orb in a pendant* Attack! *the panda charges against Alakazam*

: Luckily I planned for contingencies like this. Alakazam, Focus Blast! *the creature starts charging a brown sphere of GAR energy in front of it*

Don’t worry, Pangoro, just keep going! *that it does*

: What a silly Zangoose! Alakazam, shoot! *Alakazam shoots at Pangoro as it approaches; however, it manages to miss a target half a meter away* W-What?

Well, yeah, we call it “Focus Miss” for a reason...

: I thought it was “Accurate Wave” in Spanish.

That it is, and that’s the only accurate thing about the translation. Anyway, back to the fight... Pangoro, Knock Off! *the panda smacks the mustachioed creature so hard its belt flies off, this somehow causing extra damage and making it faint*

: For the sake of the Pokémon that believe in me, I will never give up. *sends out next Gallade, the sword arms humanoid wearing a band that makes it stronger*

Hey, you can’t use your own Fighting Pokémon too! Cheater!

: It’s also a Psychic type, you know. Close Combat!

Quick, Pangoro! Kno- *before it can react Gallade dashes in front of Pangoro and unleashes a flurry of punches Hokuto Shinken-style, taking it down to the cost of becoming more susceptible to attacks*

: You have... already fainted.

: Hey, Zettai, she got your awesome panda! Though I think you have one of these sword dudes, so use it.

No, Mistress, in this case I shall use THIS! *sends out Hawlucha, posing bravely with a red lead that irradiates power on its mask*

: Takamura? No, it has no gloves...

Quick, while she looks confused! Sky Attack! *Hawlucha cloaks itself in light, but thanks to the herb it can charge straight at Gallade*

: Ah! Tank that! *Gallade puts its sword parts in front and cushions the blow from Hawlucha, barely surviving though Hawlucha is now faster*

Good reaction!

: Even at a time like this, I should stay cool and collected...

Hawlucha, now it’s out chance! Flying Press! *Hawlucha jumps high with a very dramatic pose*

: Up there you are an easy target... Gallade, Psycho Cut! *Gallade fires multiple psychic power blades at Hawlucha*

Endure them and keep going! *Hawlucha dodges the blades, though it gets hit by some of them*

: Slave, you should have used Acrobatics!

Not so fast, Mistress...! *Hawlucha endures and manages to land on Gallade and knock it out, even though it faints afterwards*

: A double KO? What a cliché... But this will put an end to this nonsense! *sends out Metagross, a mysterious stone on its imposing body*

Agreed, time to go serious and use Steel types! *sends out Lucario, posing cool also with a similar but different mysterious stone*

: MEGA... *yawns* EVOLVE!

MEGA EVOLVE! *both Pokémon are surrounded by a pink cocoon, which then bursts to reveal stronger versions of them*

: Wait, I thought Caitlin was from the dimension without Mega Evos.

Guess we ran on the one from the Kalos War dimension, Mistress.

: You make me sound like The Flash or something...! Hammer Arm! *Megagross charges energy on its arms and smashes down on Megacario, becoming slower from the incredible effort*

Urgh, so much power... Circle strafing time, Lucario! *Megacario starts running circles around Megagross, shooting Aura Spheres at it at the same time*

: Hey, this tactic is... Effective, but lame. Luckily, I have the thing... Earthquake now! *Megagross shakes the ground hard, though Megacario jumps before that*

Now, finish things with Close Combat yourself because why not!

: This again? Zen Headbutt! *Megagross launches itself up, going through the quick arms from Megacario and smashing it away*

Nooooo! *Lucario falls to the ground defeated as the battle is over*

: Seems you lost, Zettai. *the Pokémon, the Pokéballs, and all other paraphernalia vanish into thing air*

You mean... You won’t help me now?

: I will still help you, as we merely had to fight each other; the winner is of no importance.

Phew...

: But since you lost, I am going to punish you for not being a strong enough trainer.

Can’t I just go home and be a family man?

: No. *snaps her fingers and Zettai disappears*

: WHAT? Hey, narcolepsy princess, what did you do with my slave? It took me a lot of searching to find a slave so loyal! And I kind of l-

: Don’t worry, you Gothitelle girl, as Zettai is all right.

: Where is he, then?

: In my butt.

: In your... What?

: When I snapped my fingers I shrunk him to doll size and teleported him inside the back of my panties. Right now he won’t stop fondling my cheeks and- Ow!

: Ow?

: He bit my butt...

: Then you should punish him by... *whispers something in Caitlin’s ear*

: Sounds interesting, but unladylike. And I can’t do that right now...

: Let me help you, then! *presses on Caitlin’s flat stomach*

: AH! *lets out a loud and long fart, Zettai being hit at point-blank range*

: Are you sure you aren’t a Poison-type trainer? This “poison gas” is so thick it’s even visible!

: No, and my “Tailwind” doesn’t make me a Flying-type trainer either. Like those types would be accepted in the Elite Four.

: Koga and Lance in Gen 2.

: I give you Koga, but Lance was a champion and used Dragon-types.

: Nonsense, his team had 6 Flying-types and just 3 Dragon-types! Or rather he had three Dragonite, the fanboy...

: At any rate, your plan worked since Zettai has fainted.

: So what now?

: You can have him. *pulls Zettai out of her butt and hands it to Katja* He will go back to normal in a few hours, don’t worry.

: Thank you. *puts Zettai inside the back of her thong* Once the blog is over, he will be going in... deeper.

: Sounds like fun. When Zettai wakes up, tell him Envy favors field activities.

: Green with envy, grass is green, fields have grass, makes sense. Thanks for not being USELESS like my slave here. *slaps her butt, shaking Zettai awake*

: No problem. Now get going, I want to take a nap... *leaves*

: Yeah, yeah, goodbye. *leaves, shaking her ass to tease Zettai more*