Animewolfguy's Blog

Jun 7, 2012 11:06 AM
Anime Relations: Rhythm: Koi no Rhythm, Mashiro-iro Symphony: The Color of Lovers
This is about me telling a story. If you read my profile, I wanted to become a story writer for mangas when it comes to planning the set up and what the character would say. This is on one of my works call pure lovers. The story about a tom boy girl name Tina who plans to make her third year in high school with her friends the best year yet. But is stalked by some one. She then later finds out that its her old baby sitter and childhood friend Bruce who came to for fill the promised they made of marrying each other if they ever meet again. He wont take no for an answer and the more he shows his love to her, the more she starts to fall for him like she is metal herself. This is going to be a romance physiological thriller. Tell what you think guy because I need know if I ever what to become a story writer.


Chpt 001: At the suburbs, Tina is getting ready for her junior year in high school. She is hoping to make it the best year yet but gets a feeling that she is being watch. She meet ups with her friends, Cloewy and Mimi who are twin sister as they meet at Tree hill high school. They go to their first class as they talk about a cute boy that is into Tina. She is a bit surprise but then a shadow figure is outside watching her. She turn to look but its gone. She wonder what she had sense just a moment ago. When the day is over, she walks home but then a bunch of guys came up to her asking if she wants to have fun with them. She refuses but the guys don’t like it so they grab her and starts to have fun with her. But got interrupted as a guy came and beat them hard. He grabs the leader and puts him at the edge of the crosswalk and grabs his head and pulls it down and hurting his neck. He begs until he let him go and warn him if he does this again. Tina thanks her but then he hugs her as he is so happy to see her which Tina doesn’t know about. This shocks him so leaves saying he has to put the memory back in by force with a creepy looking smile. The next day, she thinks of what that guy said and wonder if he met him somewhere. The assistant principle came to get her as her cousin came to see her. Tina is confuse as her cousin is not even in the states. When she enter the room, The same person from yesterday is in front of her sight as she widen her eyes. The person told the assistant to leave so she could talk to her. She is to afraid to speak a single word as the assistant principle close the door.

Chpt 002: Tina becomes afraid of the way how he smiles at her. She ask what his name is which just made him angry and put his arm down. He goes up to her and begin to kiss her by force which Tina couldn’t resist. She slap him and ask him why did he did that. He tells her how she remembers her being angry and looking cute. Tina begins to wonder but then it hit her as when she takes a good look of his face and ask him if his name is Bruce. Bruce is happy for her when she remember. He grabs her and started to say how much he has miss her. When she went back home, she ask her mom and dad if they remember Bruce. They told how he always help out when their poor at the time. She wanted to tell them that she met him but couldn’t so she goes to her room. She begins to wonder why she couldn’t say anything. She start to remember how when she and Bruce always protects her and showing how special she is. She thought that his love for her is a misunderstanding as she wonder what happen to him after 9 years.
We see them from 9 years ago as Bruce is crying. Tina wanted him to stop but then he confess his love to her which Tina also responded of her loving him too. She grabs her moms wedding ear rings and told him to hold on as if they meet again, They promise to marry each other. She wakes up from the dream of her past and wonders where she put the other ear ring. As she walks, her math homework gets blown on to the wind but Bruce manage to catch it. She wanted to talk to him about what happened yesterday but then saw the ear ring on the ground. Bruce is happy that she found as he cleans it everyday since they been separated. He ask where Tina’s ear ring. She didn’t want to answer but then he grab her ear and put the ear ring in her ear. Tina ran away from him and heads to the school as Bruce follow her.

Chpt 003: She got to the school early and goes to the nurses office before school starts. She tries to take ring off but its really jammed in her ear tip. She can’t stand him for what he did but then started to notice how he felt for her. Then Bruce came to stop her from taking the ear ring. She gets scared but grabs her confidence so she tries to take the ring off her ear but then he throws a medicine bottle at the mirror. Bruce show off a wicked smile and grabs her. He throw her into one of the beds in the office and lays on her. Tina fight him off but then he hold her in arms and begin crying. He tells her how much he lover her and always is afraid if another guy have took her feeling and body. Tina gazes in his eyes and could not escape his seducing. Then they hear the nurse who is shocked that her mirror is broken. Tina pushes him off and begins to leave but then he grabs her and begin to do sexual thing. She wanted to escape but couldn’t as for some reason she wanted it. The nurse barge and sees Bruce laying in the bed. Tina hides at the side of the bed as he talks to her. As she left, She begins to be angry at herself as he wonder why he didn’t thought him off. She begins to think of how he dated so many boys but the way how Bruce engaged is what she wanted in a man. But she just cant see it working so she decided to not fall for it as it would only make it worse. As the new day starts, she looks around in her room for that science homework. She found it under her bed but also found the other ear ring that she couldn’t found before. When she left home, she met up with Bruce along the way. Bruce see that she is wearing the other ear ring and is happy. Tina told him to not see her again for as long she is living in her life. Bruce widen his eyes in shock as she left. Bruce goes see her in one of her class rooms as he begins to grind on the windows in anger. The class heard it so they look but he was gone before anyone can spot him. Bruce heads to the parking lot as he bang one of the cars with both hands in anger. He then says he’ll wont give up that easily.

Chpt 004: In her fourth period, the Japanese boy, Yuki goes up to Tina. She blushes and is excited that he is talking to her but then as he sits on his chair it broke. Yuki okay and only suffer little damage. Tina takes a good look and sees that the chair is sabotage which made her believe its Bruce but she reject the idea. During lunch, Yuki goes and sit with Tina and her friends. Clowey and Mimi leaves so they can give some time. As they talked, Tina sees a shining spark. She looked closely and see a knife coming. Tina push Yuki out of the way. After that incident, the police came and question everybody. Then just for a moment, she catches a glip of Bruce for a moment but when she closed and open her eyes, he was gone. In the principle office, He, the teachers, and the chief talk about the situation and who is responsible. Ms. Brown, one of the teachers suggest to let the chief to interrogate every student in the class room. But Mr. Almond detest her decision as no student could not have done this. They all continue to argue until the chief fires a cap. The chief ask the principle which option should go. He decided to not interrogate the students as he suspect that the person who done it is not from this school. As people talk about what happen. Tina apologizes to Yuki about what happen but Yuki told her its not her fault. He ask if she wants to take a walk with and she answer Yes out loud. But then a rock breaks the window and knocks him hard and started bleeding. The nurse carries him and Tina runs out to the school as she look for him, shouting his name. Then Bruce came behind her responder her call. She ask in anger if he is the one who threw the rock at him. He begins to laugh which made Tina widen her eyes as he grabs her. When he gets next to her ear, he tells her that he won’t accept any rejection and he’ll make sure that no man will take her away.

Ignor the anime relation because for some reason I can't post this without it.
Posted by Animewolfguy | Jun 7, 2012 11:06 AM | 4 comments
PoddoChan | Sep 2, 2012 10:14 PM
You need to work on your English a bit, I mean, everything is spelled and Positioned so perfectly, but just a little bit more sharpenning on your Grammar will help, unless you're gonna do everything in Japanese. ^^ Also, "Fullfill" promise, not "For Fill". Don't take my opinions or anything in a hurtful way, I'm just trying to help out. c:

Here are some catches:
Being *"Watched". Like, "Followed", Talked To", "Killed", Loved". When someone is doing an activity to someone else, the word is used like this..uhhmm, I'm nor very good with EXPLAINING English Grammar since I dunno many of the words to express these since ALL my English is self-taught. ^^;; Sorry.

"Tina thanks her but then he hugs her as he is so happy to see her which Tina doesn’t know about." Do you mean Tina thanks HIM or..? it's fine though, since it was just a slip.

Ah, after reading chapter two, I'm already Shipping them! ~ (Shipping, is short for "Relationshipping", when a person sees two people that go good as a couple, the person "Ships" them, and support the couple. Such thing as a "Broship" or "Siship" exists.) They look like they make an extremely cute couple! ;w; this series sounds like the story is very original! owo

"As she left, She begins to be angry at herself as he wonder why he didn’t thought him off." The gender directions are confusing here. ^^;; please try to practice on using your He/She adressings. owob

After chapter three, I'm taking another look at shipping them, he Bruce sounds a bit to aggressive, maybe you need to work on that? also, is this a "One shot Short story", or is it a small example of a big series you're working on? if you are, try to do Bruce's aggressive transition a bit slower (Don't make him jump on Tina in the third Chapter/Episode. xD unless that's how EXACTLY he's suppose to be. Then go with your Plan.)

"she catches a glip of Bruce for a moment" "Glimpse"


Wow! the last chapter was very captivating! this is getting good, it just turned from a cute romantic childhood story to a thriller and angsty story ~ I love it! owo I wish you all the luck. Your story is Brilliant, you just have to make things move a tiny bit slower and smoother. And just work on your grammar a tiinsyy bit, you can find books on writting in English. Make the characters have a little more Dialog. That's all the Opinions I can give right now. I hope that your dreams come true one day! ^^
 
artemis456 | Jun 17, 2012 6:37 PM
If this was an actual manga i'd be both terrified and intrigued, Good job <3
 
Proxigo | Jun 9, 2012 2:42 PM
Looks really well written. It looks as though it would be a Shoujo romance. The male protagonist is like a guy who is mysterious and is driven by a promise from the past. The approaches he makes on the female protagonist is original strange at the same time. She is in denial and won't accept him at first. I would enjoy a story like this this. Its well done ::
 
animegrrrl | Jun 7, 2012 1:30 PM
plz put in some line breaks, its hard to read. but what i have read sounds like my kind of story :)
 
It’s time to ditch the text file.
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