Reviews

Aug 18, 2022
*No story spoilers, but opinions on the ending, which is only vaguely alluded to*

Maria the Virgin Witch is an anime which has sat in my watchlist for a period of years, and I always had high hopes for it due to the cursory glances I would take every now and then. Unfortunately, having now watched the show, I can honestly say it is a disappointment. It takes its impressive setting, art design, and historical accuracy, then squanders it with poor writing, storyboarding, and characterization. To begin with the story, it starts out simple but strong. Set in France during the 100 Years' War, we are met with a pacifist witch named Mary whose magical powers are tied to her virginity due to an altercation with an archangel. I'll start with the positives, which are all present in episode 1. The 100 Years' War setting is accurate and obviously well-researched, the way the world works pursuant to that point is also accurate, and the viewer is presented with a measured and balanced historical fantasy setting that just makes sense and serves as an excellent vehicle for interesting plot progression. However, past the admittedly strong first episode, the story stays simple, becoming simplistic, and is seriously lacking any real development beyond the boilerplate formula necessary to keep the show going for 12 episodes. It stumbles over itself again and again by presenting us with an abundance of redundant scenes which illustrate the same things, like several scenes which state that the church is going to take some kind of action against Maria, or that Garfa is ambitious, or that Maria is going to continue risking her life to stop wars. The arc of the story is decidedly lackluster as a result, and does the bare minimum to keep you watching, rehashing the same lesser arc cycle episode after episode until the big crisis hits and there's no sense of tension because all that the characters have been through feels underwhelming, almost like it was rushed. The show also boasts a painfully short list of jokes that it rehashes at every opportunity, which are meant to distract from its formulaic story structure, like poking fun at her virginity, or a succubus sex joke, or awkward romantic encounters, and so on. On top of all of that is the fact that the writing, or at the very least the translation, is clunky and unpleasant to experience. In both the sub and the dub, which is itself poorly voice acted, sentences are constructed in ways that make it sound like we're dealing with a host of patients from the concussion ward. It's still all understandable, but the way the dialogue is presented to the viewer leads to dry, meandering dialogue which does not flow 80% of the time. Even with all of this, my least favorite part of the story has to be its faux-intellectualism and egregious misunderstanding of the questions it's dealing with. For a show that is so accurate in so many ways, it makes its approach to philosophy and theology that much more infuriating, because it didn't have to be this way. The way the Archangel Michael talks about the will of God, and how the monks speak about God and the church, are clearly indicative of a writer who has only bothered exploring the most surface-level research on the subject, then got even that wrong anyway. During a particular character's personal religious revelation moment, he has a full-on philosophical dialectic against himself that is clearly made up of the opening paragraphs to the chapters of an entry-level religious studies textbook. From start to finish, the major problem with the story is this all-pervasive lack of effort, and it shows. Then they throw in the story-irrelevant Valkyries and Cernunnos, just to make sure the cosmology isn't even a little internally consistent.

The art meanwhile is a double-edged sword. The art direction is easily the best part of this anime, everything from the vivid backgrounds to the striking character designs which leave the viewer with the sense that they were treated with a great deal of care and attention. Maria and the other witches especially are blessed with these creative and unique designs that deserve commendation all their own. Through its aesthetic, this anime cultivates a magical atmosphere that is nonetheless believable in the context of the Medieval era. The animation, too, is smooth and fluid the vast majority of the time, which really highlights its most impressive achievement; The historical accuracy of the arms, armor, and combat. I don't think I've seen another anime absolutely nail the historical aspect of medieval combat, down to the smallest details like gambeson strings and jackchains, as well as the combat itself. The combat is engaging and action-packed while still being competent and accurate. Unfortunately, it's not all praise for the art. Certain scenes are reused entirely too often, sometimes character's faces fail to show sufficient emotion, or even any emotion at all, and in certain rare shots everything breaks down, like lips failing to move when their characters are speaking, or people dying who just fall flat as a board like some kind of looney tunes character.

There is not nearly as much to say about the sound, which is pretty average. The soundtrack is decidedly unremarkable, but not bad by any means. The sounds of life are lacking in a variety of scenes, but not enough to totally shatter immersion on their own.

However, the characters are more than capable of shattering immersion themselves. For example, Maria's desire to stop war does not go any further than 'because war bad and I am nice'. Her motivations are never explored or given deeper meaning, and nobody else in the story really grows or changes, save for perhaps Edwina, who is hardly in the show in the first place. None of them felt like real, impactful characters, and not a single one stands out from among them as a character worth thinking about after you finish the show. Maria is still obstinate, Joseph is still naive, Garfa is still an ass, and nobody has learned anything, again, save for Edwina, who isn't even a secondary character in this show. Overall, I really wanted to like this anime. The concept and art design had so much promise, and indeed when judged alone those things are quite good, but I gave it a fair chance and when judged as a whole Maria the Virgin Witch is not what it promises to be, which is a real shame.
Reviewer’s Rating: 5
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