As someone who makes a habit of binge-watching terrible anime, I've seen some truly awful shit - but Diabolik Lovers takes the cake for me as the single worst thing I've ever seen. Clumsy, weird, violently misogynistic and absolutely nonsensical, this show is truly an abomination for the ages.
I think the thing I love best about Diabolik Lovers is the fact I never know what insane plot or character development it's going to gracelessly shove down my throat next. It seems to start out with the intention of spending an episode on each vampire, but never actually accomplishes anything resembling characterization, and quickly digresses into an incomprehensible plot soup of family drama, conspiracy, meaningless fantasy dialogue and cookie-cutter villainy.
Even if you were looking for a violent, rapey domination fantasy here - god knows why - the story doesn't land that either. Nothing in Diabolik Lovers is sexy. Any attempt to follow through on its kinky-dating-sim premise ends up comically mean-spirited and awkward - throwing the protagonist into pools, trapping her in graveyards, pushing her over balconies and calling her "Bitch-chan" while you do it. I think it's summed up best when a vampire traps our heroine in a bedroom and she cries out, "Oh, God," to which he replies completely seriously, "There is no God."
There was certainly no God looking after the production of this anime.
The show gives every character some kind of dumb ombre hair and its eventual Romantic Lead vampire wears pants that are long on one side and capris on the other. Every face looks identical, and sometimes the animation shifts into horrible CGI but only for a few seconds at a time. The sheer number of bizarre visual choices just augments the terrible pacing and dialogue... Frankly, I could pick at Diabolik Lovers for hours, but you really have to see it yourself.
In summary, it's horrible and stupid and I had a great time. Give this one a watch next time you have a few hours to kill with friends.