I have never felt so anxious waiting for an episode, ever. After episode 22, I knew it was all about to end and it was getting more and more sad by the minute. Watching a character evolving the way Eiji and Ash did, and watching their relationship grow in a world with such savage environments, I grew to love those two, so much. Every moment they had together made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I admit, I didn't watch the anime from the first episode, but from after episode 7 had just been aired. I saw a thumbnail on youtube with the scene of Ash kissing Eiji, that made me want to try watching the anime in the first place.
I was very very sceptical thinking "Man I don't like the art, it's so different from the anime art I know" but I quickly learned to accept that, and in time, I started to love the art.
It was realistic in the way that the characters eyes were more or less, a normal size, which I don't see often in anime these days.
Getting to know each character and their names wasn't as confusing as I thought it would be, Ash and Eiji were unique names that I never knew of, back then. The way I was able to recognise Ash's name was each time a character in the anime said his name. "Asshu" which each time reminded me of "achoo" as in a sneeze. That fact, made me say "bless you" out loud, each time someone said Ash's name.
After Ash's fight with Arthur, he was brought to the hospital. After that episode I was just so curious about what would happen next, and so, I read the manga. And I'm stating that I'm not a good reader but it seems like a manga with pictures and short texts, made things easier for me. I was getting more and more into the manga so I continued. Suddenly, I was watching Eiji and Ibe leaving N.Y again, and Ash was reading the letter from Eiji. When I saw that Ash let his guard down I was thinking "Ah he's been stabbed dozens of times, he'll get it fixed" But did he though? Did he actually get it fixed? Why didn't he?
From that moment I prayed that the anime wouldn't turn out like the manga did because that would be even more painful, watching the character I love, sitting there with blood and tears all over the letter.
As the anime continued, I was quickly learning that "Oh wow.. They're going for the manga.." due to how precise and familiar each scene was. But that didn't stop me from looking forward to each episode, I couldn't wait, each day was so long but the episode, so short. It felt like I was getting so obsessed with the anime that nothing else really mattered but getting through the week to watch the next episode. That was nothing new for me, getting obsessed with something and wanting to praise it like I would God until it's over.
Although, after episode 22, I didn't look forward to the next episodes no more, I knew what was coming. I knew I was gonna bawl, I knew I'd need buckets for my tears. I've fallen completely in love with Ash and his beautiful person. And fallen even more in love with his relationship with Eiji, each bromance moment got me all excited and it was such a nice feeling.
That relationship is the most beautiful thing I've seen, ever. I didn't know that an anime could be this touching to someone like me. And especially when I think about how sceptical I was when watching the first episodes of the anime.
Ash fascinated me on so many points. A beautiful young man with the mind of a supercomputer, fangs and claws as sharp as a knife, and at first, a cold blooded killer who showed no emotion nor remorse.
Eiji, the other main character, just about a young year older than Ash, is a peaceful and observant person, whose aura could affect even the most cold blooded killer. That peaceful and carefree, cheerful and always smiling person, affected Ash in so many ways. That's so beautiful. I can't describe it any better than 'beautiful'.
At first, I really disliked the villains, especially Yut, for kidnapping Eiji like he did, and forcing Shorter to do the work of betraying Ash. But the worst thing was when he ordered some of Sing's gang members to attack Ash and Eiji when they were alone together. Yut knew that Ash wasn't on guard when he was with Eiji and therefore stated that it was the perfect chance to attack. I started asking myself "Is Yut really a villain?" His reason for going after Eiji was because Ash found love, despite having such a brutal upgrowing like Yut himself did. Although, Yut remained alone. Blanca stated that he had to learn how to love others, in order to be loved. I believe that's true. At first I even thought of Blanca as a villain but that quickly changed, due to his soft spot when it comes to Ash.
Without a second thought, Eiji took the bullet instead of Ash. Literally. As Eiji was just laying there, bleeding heavily, his only thoughts were "Is Ash okay?"
To think that those two would, without a second thought, give away their everything for each other in a heartbeat. What could possibly make a relationship more pure and beautiful than this?
Ash deep down knew how it was gonna turn out in the end, but needed someone by his side as "mental backup" as I call it, in order to keep on moving forward.
For the first time, Ash felt warmth. He had the feeling of being loved. The feeling of not being indebted. It never stroke Eiji that he would need Ash to do something in return if Eiji did Ash a favour.
This anime made me realise that the story isn't far from the world we live in. The world is savage, brutal but beautiful. Watching the anime as it was being aired has been one of my happiest moments. Watching a relationship like Ash and Eiji's, really just impressed me in every single way, and I don't get easily impressed. I have watched a LOT of anime over the years and I knew as this anime was airing, it was taking the place on my top 3 favourite anime list.
I don't think I'll ever be able to cope with how things turned out in the last episode, never have I ever felt such an ache in the chest from an anime. No, not just an anime, overall, series, movies. In the manga, Ash died. But did he really die in the anime? I don't know anymore. I was sure that he did but after being told that this might not have been the case, I feel a bit better. I needed to get all this out, while typing this, I was bawling. I can't get over this heartbreaking story.
Some people say that Ash gave up because he finally found love. But I'm just thinking.. Isn't that one more reason to live? Living for the one he loves?
Eiji's impact on Ash impressed me by a ton. It's so amazing, watching these two guys changing with each episode.
I'm glad the side novels didn't take part in these 24 episodes, as they state that Ash is dead. So I still feel like there's hope somewhere.
Anyway I just needed to get this out.
Watching this anime was one of the most amazing journeys I've ever been on. Thank you for creating such a painful, yet beautiful masterpiece.