Covers as much ground as it can, but doesn't go in depth with anything it introduces. Lots of pointless content and irrelevant characters. Dreadful, pseudo-intellectual dialogue. Wine is often being drank when these conversations are had. Various things being shown from multiple different perspectives, or rather; realities. Hardly any plot advancement because showing a million different things is prioritized above all else. Good moments are scarce and typically enjoyable only because they suck so bad, but in most cases, the thing is just idiotic in a highly boring way and that's the end of this story. No, I didn't accidentally post my 'Legend of the Galactic Heroes' review under wrong entry, but am actually talking about Sword Art Online: Alicization. Show which I was supposed to watch ironically and laugh whenever anything happens, but the problem is that so often nothing happens.
[Setup - Basically sums up episode 1]
The story start off with wood chopping and sandwich making scenes. Fair enough, Kirito trains and the newest harem addition shows how she contains many essential "ideal female" characteristics, such as being able to make sandwiches and knowing how to read because she is smart. Well, I didn't laugh there, but the mary sue factors seemed quite potentially lol-worthy, and that was just the beginning so whatever, I watched more.
So anyway, these three kids (they are kids now and there is 3 of them, and I still don't know who the third is, 2nd: Alice) go in this cave where some dragon used to dwell and they steal some ice from him Iunno what the fuck is happening, but they get lost and eventually end up in this place called dalukuu dellidoly (dark territory in English), and apparently crossing the border there is not simply illegal but super illegal. Just so happens to be this Alice girl is also showing how she is bit of a klutz -- which is another ideal female characteristics if someone doesn't know -- and falls down so her 3 finger tips cross the border and gets sentenced to death/is kidnapped. Lucky for them the 3rd kid awakens his Sharingan this very moment and not all hope is lost.
After this we teleport back into season 2 of Sword Art Online (I guess) because Kirito is now an adult female or a man with ridiculously long hair in this one and there are lolies with guns and evil people wearing masks all around. This part was pretty fun because Kirito and his/hers buddies use light sabers and there is another dude here who has sharingan, I wonder who on earth he might be and how these things are relevant. This is me trying to connect the dots and at the same time my facial expression when watching it ._.
At this point I had almost dropped the series. I was like "holy shit, I swear this episode is at least 50 minutes long and never ends." but then I noticed it is actually a double episode and literally 50 minutes long. That didn't really help, tho, since I was only 20 minutes in.. but I wasn't technically wrong, so I continued.
15 minutes later I came back to reality and realized I had been watching a scene where Kirito and harem have this really important conversation about some LED lights placed in the human soul or something, and lots of smart science stuff about some nerdy shit / someone trying to explain something regarding another thing, but it was basically about time functioning differently inside virtual reality, mind teleportation and finally confirmed this whole thing was actually inspired by Alice in Wonderland, which I had accidentally taken as a meme for years.... Neat.
Well, at least this was followed with some cringe-ass confession scene which was concluded with a terribly animated kiss just to remind viewers that lots of deep love to be found here, after which some random dude attacks Kirito who then wakes up in the alternative kids world which seen in the beginning and is like "oh yeah, this is the nerdy science shit virtual WORLD I just had a 15 minute dialogue about." How convenient, chaotically random and still didn't make me laugh because too boring, and more like offensively bad than lol-worthy. At least his body in real world paralyzed or something which is kinda cool and also happened in season 1, technically.. boy I wonder if he can ever turn back normal..
[Story]
We have NPC's - just like in many/any other video games, and just like in many cyberpunk series: they are becoming self-aware, influenced by feelings and questioning their purpose in life. The vanity, the thought-provoking content and emotional depth create us a narrative that is about as fun to watch as it is intelligent.
So far, the entire main plotline in this alternative world is practically incredibly slowly moving rescue arc that keeps on introducing new content and side tracks with episodic cliffhangers instead of trying to master or advance anything it already has going on. Pretty much half of the damn thing is slice of life or sol-like filler that serves no real purpose in the series, other than to make it more lengthy. And so far, the main plotline in the real world is basically also a slowly moving rescue arc that keeps on introducing new content and side tracks..... Well, I guess point delivered: some similarities exist among the plots. Great.
In terms of directing or whatever we want to call it, scenes change with so little continuity and start playing out so randomly that it becomes highly noticeable: it stands out. This thing hasn't been build on very solid basis or structured in a passable manner. This level of story telling and directing would not be praised were this a new franchise. For example, even though the main storyline seems to be going nowhere, the series still has lots of content and is overall rather creating the illusion of fast pace and eventful story while really nothing happens.
Perhaps my favorite part of the writing so far has been Alice's astral projection just teleporting inside Kirito's brain because I am not sure if that was actually foreshadowing regarding the nerdy technology shite or just her being used as a plot device to allow the story advance. By allowing it to advance, I don't mean it actually advanced because things like chopping trees are prioritized over such things. This is the part that offered at least some lulz. The melodrama is also incredible because after Kirito was attacked he became some type of vegetable in the real world and lots of girls are real worried and crying. Such pathetic, try-hard shit-writing it's hard not to laugh when the thing is essentially worse written than average fanfiction. I just wish this was the main side of the story. Maybe later episodes will turn this thing into some sort of Sword Art Online 0, a story about depressed Asuna. #not_a_reference I dream.
[Characters]
'The Devil is a Part-Timer', anime from 2013, anyone? So this time around Kirito has a nice little side job, making Jesus a Part-Timer, too. Hah! Kirito is being Kirito here. The difference being that this time around he is not the most flawless being from day one, which is kinda cool I guess, especially when considering how the training side of this thing has been among the strongest parts of the series thus far. Still sucks, tho.
His name is Eugeo! The third kid I mean. His role in the series is pretty much solely to tell Kirito some lore, fill him with information regarding the world and say out loud how impossible and things are and how amazing Kirito can be. Occasionally he also does some incredibly stupid decisions and fucks everything uppa. I am not going to spoil how badly, but I did laugh there.
Alice's sister is pretty cute so I guess that's something + that carrying scene [by Kirito, naturally] was flawless in every way. She is especially good when considering most grills from this franchise were never even worth that much. Too bad she ain't a main character. As a whole, the cast surely isn't among reasons to follow this masterpiece, but it's still kinda worth it for the papa swag factor and council of neko-eared harem girls disgusting about issues. It's truly fascinating to see how 5 fanservice figures and Kirito's "daughter" have meetings and make plans. "We totally matter and can do things."
The more episodes there are, the more characters whose names I didn't even bother memorizing there are. That kind of amazing stuff going on here. I don't find mentioning anything about them to be worth of anyone's time, so I won't. Originally I planned also to write a section about the dialogue, but then I remembered I already said in the opening paragraph all that needs to be said about it. [Dreadful, pseudo-intellectual dialogue]. It also does amazing job making me not to like any characters because it is just that nauseating.
[Production]
Not the worst A-1 character design, but those CGI goblins are on another shitness level completely. The animation can be pretty rough and far from fluid. Cheap stuff, but also making me more confident that hiatus/split cours won't occur. The character movements are often awkward as well and again, CGI exists. From its color pallet and backdrops the thing also looks like other SAO series. The voice acting is meeting the same standards with earlier seasons as well. In terms of songs, big names in the making of OP and ED, as usual. BGM-wise, not much of it is present. Dialogue is the main thing that is being heard hear [fuck me, I know], occasionally some uber quiet "menu music" plays at the same time, or alternative terrible emotional song that convey feelings similarly as fart jokes deliver luls. Some based wobsie wob songs are present during action, but they surely could be better -- like everything else in the series...
[Enjoyment]
I am glad I didn't choose a career as a timberman. I am not entirely sure why I am still watching this. I rarely drop anime series these days, but this one is definitely getting closer and closer of getting onto that list.
