Apr 20, 2018
Pag (All reviews)
The past summer, I went to a theme park with my friends as a part of a retreat; we got on this one rollercoaster, I think it was called the Earthshaker or something like that. I expelled the remainder of my lunch on the sidewalk as my friends pretended not to know me.

As I watched these two episodes, I suddenly had a bout of PTSD; oh shit... where am I? Who's dick was I jerking off? What the hell is even going on? When I both came and came to, I realized that it was indeed my own dick I was jerking off and that I was in my room.

In a brief 40 some odd minutes, you get to watch everything Stanley Kubrick has worked for disappear into nothingness. Watching this was like watching a 2007 Youtube video recorded by a man with Parkinsons. The camera work in these two episodes defy everything that was taught to me in film school; there is no focus, there is lighting, no use of color or shadows. In fact, it was like playing against Zed in League of Legends, one second the dick is in the cente-- nope now it's in the top right corner (why?). One second she's being penetrated, next frame, she's peeing onto the ground.

The second episode is even stranger than the first, somehow. It starts off with some EDM, with interspersed cuts of moaning and ahegao, then immediately cuts to credits, where you are promptly spoiled the rest of the episode WITH an Andy Warhol backdrop. Artists, lament! God has forsaken us on this hour indeed!

Throughout the episode, I had a lot of trouble remaining erect. No, it wasn't the rape. Nor the peeing. It was the fact that every couple of seconds, the camera would zoom into the man's ass if the ass was available. Then the camera would pan out of the male teacher's ass and I would go limp. We demand more male ass on our hentai, god damnit, Johnson!

So what did I learn from these two episodes? Do we even know what his name is? Hell, do we even know what her name is? The answer to these questions is: no. But then again; do we ever know who the people in hentai are? But be prepared with a waste bin if you do watch this.