What a depressing story.
Entire time it just is sad. Even when any comedy is put into it, You will still just have this awful feeling.
Having a character that dies and one of the only people that show any actual emotion too their death be their mom is even more depressing. Even more so when she learns the boy she thought liked her ended up liking someone else the entire time.
This entire thing is nothing but a depressing candy store. Having a character die with few giving any emotions, Three little kids die that had an abusive mom that killed them, A wife that was forced into prostitution and turned into a demon that killed her husband.
Nothing about this leaves me feeling anything besides sadness and depression. It doesn't help that it's kind of obvious where the story is gonna go.
Having a character be psychic and having a girl that recently just die sounds really interesting. But the two of them never talk and any interaction is little.
The idea of having a girl die and the only one able to see her is a girl from her school. Sounds interesting. I would love to see a premise done like that. No other ghosts but the as mention girl. Have it so the girl can posses the still living girl in dosages and not have it be about a boy or something similar. Hell, Wouldn't even mind if the two of them started getting feelings for each other. Have it end on the two of them staying together from then on or have the ghost chick put into a body of another girl that just died for what ever reason.
I feel this could have been done better. But having it just end on the MC dying and that's it, Just leaves this on a sour note. I do think having something like her being in a coma this entire time or her posses some other girl that just died. Have her of been put into a coma or something. Such as her lost in the woods and she goes into a coma from something. She then get's to travel around and have her drawn to a certain girl in school. They both start interacting. Turns out that ghost chick's family thinks she is dead from finding something in the woods that would lead them to believe so. Part of the story could be the still alive girl dealing with having a ghost with her and the other part could be both of them trying to find her body before it's too late. ( Look beside the fact of the body needing food and water) In the end they find the body and she ends up waking up from the coma. Have both the girls become a couple or something.
I just thought off the top of my head and i feel that would have been better then this.
Not great but nothing awful.