Aahahaha...
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Now then...onto the review.
Zero is about a serious story involving the Eternal War and how the Game World came to be. War is raging on between all races and humanity seems to be on the brink of extinction. Our protagonist's gripping narration fills the scene at all times to remind you what is going on. So in case you got on your phone or left the cinema, don't worry! Because the constant repetitive exposition never fails to fill you in on the plot. If you're expecting an epic war movie or at least major battle sequences in the movie, Strike 1, you're gonna be sorely disappointed. At its core, Zero is a Boy Meets Girl story with NotSora and NotShiro, I mean Riku and Shuvi. Riku is like Sora but with some serious anger management issues and no self-esteem, and Shuvi is just Shiro, but with less incestuous undertones. Got it? Along the way they meet with ancestors of other characters you may or may not remember from NGNL, such as Iguchi Yuka's character's ancestor, Stephanie Dola's ancestor (thankfully with a brain this time, and less screentime) and a few others. They don't matter much but seeing them cameo in the movie is cute.
Now for the meat and potatoes of the movie: Character development, or lack of thereof. Shuvi suddenly gets infatuated with Riku for no discernible reason. There's some funny Misunderstandings(TM) here and there, but ultimately the relationship between the two is so poorly written and so poorly developed you're just sitting there waiting for it to end. Shuvi gets really REALLY infatuated with Riku, to the point of raising all sorts of Death Flags in the short moments she's with him! So Shuvi's an "Ex-Machina" i.e. a cold emotionless robot and she's searching for a heart and Riku can give her a heart and you all know where this is going. Alongside some dialogue about "hearts" and "game" and all your favorite phrases. It's almost like a Kingdom Hearts game come to life. Riku's not any better, his serious lack of self esteem and severe anger management issues (but all with that main protagonist heart of gold, so he can't bring himself to kill Shuvi in an early encounter) make him a less likable protagonist than the cocky and confidant Sora whom he's based on. While this may be done to highlight the differences between the two, I'm not buying this whiny git one bit. All the while I'm hoping for some element of Sora to shine through, it gets dragged down a few scenes later as our MC just whines and collapses.
The movie tries to present itself in a serious manner, but for the love of me I can't take a single scene (bar the ending) seriously at all. It's emotionally manipulative in the simplest possible manner. I'll dive into some spoilers for the following section. So please turn back.
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A very early scene depicts a nameless character dying. He tells Riku he has a daughter (something Riku ought to have known). Then Riku returns to the hideout and sees his daughter. His daughter asks where her dad is. You can see where this is going. Moments like these are prevalent throughout the film. Up to and including a scene involving a major character which I won't spoil in detail, but the execution of the scene was so over-the-top and so overdramatic I was taken aback. Hope you like lingering shots of an otherwise emotionless robot crying! It's signalling the audience to "feel bad" for the characters, but a neon sign saying "this is a sad scene" would be just as effective.
And speaking of seriousness, this movie also has lighthearted moments punctuating some serious scenes. Now, I don't mind these scenes per say, lighthearted scenes can serve as a nice break, or even some relief to the audience during an otherwise heavy scene, providing some humanity and further accentuating the effectiveness of the lighthearted moment in question. Zero contains several of these scenes, and the first few were a welcome break or diversion from all the misery and drama. Now, the problem is Zero has far too many of these scenes, and they're not paced together well. Some of the lighthearted scenes are cute, and some made me laugh, but since there's far too many of them, most of the later comedic moments is diluted and lose their comedic value as a result. The first time Shuvi makes an inappropriate joke about sex, you laugh. After hearing the same joke several times, it stops being funny. Or how about the misunderstandings from Dola, the first few times were funny, and then you start to forget you're in a theater and then you want her to stop.
Now now, it's not all grey clouds and ashen skies. Let's positive thinking! Here are some things I liked from the movie:
-Whenever Jibril shows up.
-Heck, whenever any character from the TV series shows up.
-The battle scenes, few as they may be. And small in scale as they are.
-The very few scenes where Riku is smug, cocky and confident when facing an opponent.
-Jibril was still good. They didn't ruin her.
-I liked the pretty colors I suppose.
-I got to hear Kayano Ai's voice a lot. So bonus points I guess?
-In spite of it all, they didn't take the easy route and claim that Sora and Shiro were reincarnations of Riku and Shuvi for easy sympathy points. Therefore Sora and Shiro were not ruined.
-The ending which I genuinely enjoyed.
All in all, I still don't know who this anime is aimed towards. I'd advise fans of the TV series to avoid this film and pretend it's non-canon (it seriously and unnecessarily makes NGNL more complicated than it should be), while newcomers should just watch the TV series.
Still I wouldn't mind a 30-minute supercut with just the basic Riku-Shuvi meeting, Riku outsmarting his opponents, a condensed version of the climax, the wonderful ending, and the bookends. Would make for a much enjoyable experience akin to a 30-minute blu-ray extra. And definitely something more up to the series' standards. That or 30 minutes of Kayano Ai speaking.
And hey, on the bright side, it made me appreciate the original TV series so much more.
3/10
They should've made a Jibril standalone film.
Sora, Riku and Hearts? This is more Kingdom Hearts than I anticipated. Right down to the dialogue.
