May 2, 2017
TheFlashmaster (All reviews)
I don’t think anybody really thought for even a second that Chaos Dragon was actually going to be good when they saw the team attached to the project. The plot is pretty simple to explain, but that’s actually its biggest problem. It’s so simple that Chaos Dragon tries to distract us from that fact by over complicating everything to the point that we have nothing to focus on, and when you do, you’re too embarrassed to spell it out for the audience. There’s this red dragon guarding this generic fantasy land who has gone mad, and the only one who can stop him is this royal boy who can use the dragon’s power at the cost of a beloved one’s life. He gathers a crew of RPG rejects and goes on a journey to hunt the dragon whilst trying not to use his power. And…that’s it. That’s literally all there is to the story with no attempt to spice it up whatsoever, unless you count the boy’s obsession with certain females that are so creepily handled I’d rather not dwell on them. Well, that’s not entirely true. Fucking up even the most basic things is kind of a spice in that it takes a specific kind of talent to do that. I know Silver Link animation is never good, but even by those standards, Chaos Dragon looks like ass. The character designs look like something you’d find in the trash bin of a fetish shop, the action is incoherent and poorly choreographed, and…well…the visuals look like ass. When your all-powerful red dragon is basically a CG monstrosity that would fit right in with a Passione anime or the miniseries adaptation of The Langoliers, you know something has gone wrong. When you have every other visual disaster share the same screen, I speak no hyperbole when I say that watching RWBY would be less taxing on the eyes. And it’s not like the writing helps, considering it’s as fucking standard a fantasy quest as you can get, except with most of the dialogue consisting of boring exposition dump after exposition dump. Chaos Dragon is not, and I can’t stress this enough, NOT the least bit memorable in its badness at all. Very little actually happens in the show, and whatever does happen is buried under so much bullshit. I know some people got enjoyment out of pretending that Urobuchi’s character likes to grab people’s boobs, but I wouldn’t even know which character he’d written if I didn’t look it up on Wikipedia. And any anime that requires outside knowledge you couldn’t possibly get from the show proper to understand seriously needs to go into the corner and think about what it’s done. So in case you didn’t understand all that, no I don’t recommend Chaos Dragon at all. In fact, it’s one of the few anime where I’d go so far as to say you’re wrong for liking it, which is no mean feat given how little I care for what the fanbase thinks. It’d at least be better than that shitty Arslan adaptation if it wasn’t for its utter disinterest in trying to entertain people, which makes me wonder, why was anyone even interested in making a public spectacle out of the D&D games that certain industry people do in their spare time anyways? How exactly is that sort of thing appealing to anyone not within the circle? Might as well introduce the Yu-Gi-Oh card game to the homeless while you’re at it. Chances are one of them has an interest in foreign card games that he can use to win big and get out of his sorry state.