I had put it off for far too long. Once you've had a taste of this vile poison Idea Factory calls "anime", there's no stopping it. It invades your mind, defiles your thoughts, and contaminates your entire being. This is the goal of the asinine Idea Factory- a group of people who can be called no less than anime terrorists- to destroy anime from within.
Animation: (if you can call it that.)
The 3D.... oh MY BUDDHA THE 3D! It's almost as if the screen was covered in vaseline, and I was watching someone horribly fail at the 1999 Superman-64 game (AKA one of the worst of all time, with as many polygons in the entire game as I have middle fingers.)
I thought Cubix was bad... at least Cubix was a lovable kind of bad- and a kid's show. This... this odious beast was targeted at an older audience... for something? A game, google tells me. Apparently enough schmucks with more money than sense bought it to warrant Idea Factory ever having another paid hour of work... which resulted in Mars of Destruction.
The giant flying squid looks like a Pokemon reject, and given how incredibly low Pokemon's standards for design are, that's saying something. They made a |set of keys| a Pokemon. They made a >ripped garbage bag< into a Pokemon. THEY MADE A F*CKING ICE CREAM CONE POKEMON! This squid somehow far surpasses the profound stupidity of the most awful Pokemon, and manages to make the keychain look cool.
“It’s the worst film ever made. Now, when my kids get out of line, they’re sent to their room and forced to watch Skelter Heaven ten times." -Arnold Schwarzenegger
Where the (Characters and Story) should be:
As it's much more esteemed cousin Mars of Destruction holds a stellar 2.46 rating against Skelter Heaven's 2.12, Skelter Heaven makes MoD look like The Usual Suspects. This anime is literally worse than anything Coleman Francis, Paris Hilton, OR Hulk Hogan ever made. It's worse than any parody movie with the title " Movie" in it. The awfulness is just so hard to accurately describe, that I'm just going to quote Mike Stoklasa on this: "(this OVA is the) "biggest pile of horse crap I've ever seen."
The giant squid was the best, most sympathetic character I've ever seen in anime. No one understands it, or even makes a paltry attempt to- everyone just wants to maim and destroy it. It's obvious that this terrible invader who has done nothing but fly over the city, observing, has been by before, as evidenced by the incredibly in depth biological knowledge that the humans have of it. So, why didn't you kill it before, idiots? There's no wonder it protects itself... I'd have to protect myself from this lethal dose of idiocy if I were it too.
Then we come to the big, dumb ending. Nobody gets their head blown off this time... it ends with a whimpering "but I love you". PLOT TWIST EVERYONE, CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH KILLING A GIANT SQUID THAT'S HURTING NO ONE BECAUSE THEY DECIDED LOVE HAPPENED! And that's all there is to it.
“The worst film ever made by far… maybe one of the worst films in the entire solar system, including alien productions we’ve never seen…. A flatworm could write a better script than Skelter Heaven. In some countries — China, I believe — running Skelter Heaven once a week on government television has lowered the birth rate to zero.” -Sylvester Stallone on Skelter Heaven.
Enjoyment: 1
Inferior in every way to Mars of D... at least that schlock was good for a laugh. This is just unfiltered asininity. I've enjoyed such things more, including but not limited to: watching paint dry, watching grass grow, watching CSPAN, watching golf, watching Nascar, watching Naruto fillers, watching Baby's Day Out, Red Zone Cuba, or Hercules Vs the Moon Men FIFTEEN times in a row without food, drink, or a bathroom break before I'd watch this again.
"I would rather tear out my brainstem, carry it to the middle of the nearest 4 way intersection and skip rope with it than watch Skelter Heaven again" - Squidward
Overall: 1
I had some drain issues last week, and bought this extremely caustic drain cleaner called Pipe Destroyer- full of lye (high molarity Sodium Hydroxide, the label reads "warning, fatal if ingested" {that shit will burn your skin off and the bones under it, turning you into a pile of smelly, caustic jelly}).
One would think that it would be impossible to follow up such contemptible trash as Generation of Chaos- as in, IT IS UNFATHOMABLE TO BE ANY LOWER THAN THE ANIME HELL IT RESIDES IN!
But, here we are. It can get no worse, they say. It can't hurt any worse once you've reached rock bottom. Things can only get better. I'M HERE! IT STILL HURTS! IT BURNS! It burns like that lye I bought to clean my drains, but ended up drinking for a less painful death than watching more Idea Factory.
Someone please erase every mention of Idea Factory from existence.
"Skelter Heaven doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. It isn't the bottom of the barrel. It isn't below the bottom of the barrel. It doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels." - Roger Ebert
