Now that I'm done blatantly ripping off movie quotes, it's time to look at one of the popular late 1990s titles that helped usher in the era of Echii Moe shows! This is Steel Angel Kurumi!
What are all the things that anime critics hate the most? I think the prime candidates would be: Echii anime with pointless nudity, Moe art style, bland male MCs that get hot chicks for no reason, catering to random fetishes, and forced comedy. Steel Angel Kurumi not only does ALL of the aforementioned crimes, but that is basically the entirety of the show! You may ask, "why am I choosing to pick on just Kurumi?" Kurumi was by no means the first to do these things and plenty of other titles around this time and even before committed many of these crimes. Obvious examples would include Tenchi Muyo and Love Hina. The difference in my opinion is that Tenchi and Love Hina (at least the manga) actually did SOME things right. Both of those titles actually had memorable characters, actually tried to put some romance in, and didn't just try give boners to adolescents 100 percent of the time! Steel Angel Kurumi on the other hand is just pure, unadulterated schlock. However, this piece of shit was HUGELY popular in Japan and after 24 episodes managed to get THREE more seasons! WHY?!
Plot: 2/10
The most interesting thing this story does is the bizarre decision to set the story in the early 20th century despite the plot involving advanced humanoid robots. Apparently Japan was REALLY ahead in robotics in this timeline. The story begins with our bland male protagonist entering a mansion supposedly belonging to a mad scientist on a dare from his jackass friends. Inside the mansion he finds a sexy robot girl and accidentally ends up kissing her. That makes her come to life and want to be his girlfriend...of course. However, the robot girl Kurumi was actually built as a top secret project by the Imperial Japanese military. The scientist who created her didn't wish to see his project used for mass destruction and Japanese imperialism, so he fled with the robot and has been hiding out in the mansion basement. Of course it was such common knowledge that the mansion is where the mad scientist lives that even the jerkass friends knew it, and unsurprisingly so does the Japanese military. The military attack the mansion with a mech suit because...why not? However, Kurumi defeats the mech and saves her new boyfriend from certain doom. This is the start of a very cheesy adventure with LOTS of goofy shenanigans and not a lot of substance.
Art: 4/10
The character art looks mediocre even for a late 1990s title and the animation is absolutely atrocious! Who the Hell made this anyways?! The same guys that made the original Berserk anime and Pokemon of course! As much as we all love Berserk, we all know the animation was complete shit! Remember that damn cannon scene?
Sound: 3/10
Oh my GOD does the English dub suck! ADV is always a mixed bag, but this is easily one of the worst performances I've ever heard those guys do. The background music may as well not exist, but at least the opening is so bad it kind of has a cheesy charm to it. I DEFY you to listen to the opening theme and frown the entire time. I don't think it's possible!
Overall: 2/10
Kurumi was one of the anime that showed studios that you can be popular and sell lots of copies and merchandise with VERY minimal effort. All you have to do is use a cookie cutter formula, have plenty of tits, have a blank slate male MC that male audiences can project on to, and have a cutesy art style and BAM, you will make enough money to get 4-5 seasons of shit! We are now flooded with titles like Ikki Tousen, Green Green, Rail Wars, etc. largely due to the massive financial success in Japan of Steel Angel Kurumi and other series like it during the turn of the millennium. This is a piece of shit anime that left behind a massive legacy of shame for the entire medium of anime. Thanks Steel Angel Kurumi!
