Feb 20, 2015
literaturenerd (All reviews)
Ever since MST3K became a hit in the 1990s, it has been well known that many people (including myself) love to laugh at bad movies. However, it is difficult to describe exactly what makes a movie enjoyably bad vs. irritatingly bad. I believe that bad + boring + pretentious = irritatingly bad. Whereas sheer ineptitude creates the unintentional comedies that people love.

Plastic Little is a movie so stupid you can't help but laugh at it. Even the title makes ZERO sense. The writer simply took two random English words and stuck them together! This 1994 movie was one of the first anime titles licensed in the US by ADV before they got HUGE after licensing Evangelion. As a result, almost the entire English cast of Eva also worked on this monstrosity, which brings extra comedy to English speaking audiences. This was one of the first purely shameless "echii" titles to be brought over to the states. The fanservice was so much more frequent than what American otaku were used to seeing in the early 1990s, that ADV actually added a "jiggle counter" at the bottom of the screen. Seriously! The story is an absolute mess of plot holes, deus ex machina bullshit, and of course NOTHING is explained about the background of this world or the society in which the characters live. The characters are stale and poorly developed, although that is to be expected for a 45 minute long borderline hentai. However, it is the instances of WTFuckery and head bashing idiocy that really makes this title shine!

The story takes place on an alien planet during what I can only assume is the distant future. Of course, as I already stated the world of this anime and the background is almost entirely left unexplained. Our heroine is Tita, who lives on a planet populated by Russian people, along with one black Frenchman, who is simply there....because why not? Tita is only 17, but is the captain of a ship that captures large and exotic alien species to sell to space zoos and wealthy pet collectors. One day Tita sees a pretty girl being attacked by the goons of the evil Galactic Empire. Apparently the Galaxy is being terrorized by a poorly drawn Darth Vader ripoff resembling Darth Helmet from Space Balls, who is the most feared officer of the oppressive empire. He wants this hot blonde chick because...reasons. Tita saves the blonde chick using her Akira style ripoff motorcycle and after escaping inexplicably from a massive explosion, they spend the next 15 minutes bathing and feeling each other's tits, back on the bath house of Tita's ship. You will notice that this bath house is so huge that it logically wouldn't even be able to fit inside the ship unless they have some sort of dimension warping technology. Plastic Little has HEAVY Yuri (lesbian)i overtones, but never quite becomes a full fledged hentai. This is a rarity for the film's director Mr. Urushihara, who normally just draws porn for a living. Soon, blonde chick and Tita must confront Darth Helmet and infiltrate his base with some REALLY stupid action scenes. Darth Helmet tried tries to choke Tita to death while she is CLEARLY holding a gun, then is somehow surprised when she simply shoots him in the face and kills him! Tita and blonde chick then escape and Plastic Little achieves its crowning moment of sublime stupidity! The entire Imperial fleet is on their ass, and Tita's animal capture ship which the characters stated MULTIPLE times had no real combat capabilities, wipes out the entire Imperial fleet with ONE SHOT of the "galaxy buster cannon". Why the fuck not? The movie then ends with some comic relief involving the ship's crusty old first mate named Mikhail. MASTERPIECE!

Overall 4/10

As unbelievably idiotic as this movie is, at least it is enjoyably stupid as opposed to being boring and stupid. The primary goal is to show as many tits as possible and it certainly achieved that goal. The series is well drawn, decently animated, has an OK soundtrack, and was pretty technically impressive for its time. The voice acting is awful including Tiffany Grant as blonde chick doing what may be the worst English accent ever, but that only adds to the comedy. If you want to have a laugh at the expense of an old, bad anime then Plastic Little is that anime!