Based on the light novel of the same name, Rail Wars apparently takes place in some alternate version of Japan. The only difference is that the setting involves a railway system that has yet to be privatized. Then, enter main protagonist Naoto Takayama, a big fan of trains who originally wanted to be a driver. Now the kid is part of the Fourth Guard Squad. What he doesn’t know is that he is also gaining a harem. I think at one point, one of the characters mentions “You're a lucky guy for being surrounded by cute girls, Takayama.”
The series’ story is almost laughable and for all the wrongs reasons. In fact, there is barely any plot to speak of and with what little it has often seems to make fun of itself. However, the series takes itself somewhat seriously rather than acting as a parody. The most evident problem involves the one dimensional plot with little agenda by pandering on the harem-esque trope. The main protagonist Naoto is the main butt monkey as he is labeled a pervert by the female protagonists. Panty shots are prevalent throughout the show and almost present in every episode. It seems that the goal of the series is try to get Naoto to succumb to his inner desires. However, being the persistent young healthy boy that he is, Naoto resists his lusts most of the time. Then again, the show tries to highlight the female characters to a point where it becomes preposterous.
Regarding most of the other characters, none of them really stand out. Forget characterization, the main focus on them seems to be their sex appeal and non-sensational personalities. The list includes the tsundere (Aoi), the beauty (Haruka), the mischief (Nana), the idol (Noa), the childhood friend (Mari) and the muscle head (Sho). Get the picture now? It’s sad to say but Naoto is perhaps the most normal protagonist. At the very core, he is a kind young man with a decent knowledge train models and types. He is neither a Gary Stu nor sidekick but plays the role of a leader on the team. One should realize that his motivations are often for the safety of the public as he puts others before himself. And from this, girls seems to fall head over heel for him where almost every main girl with a name isn’t safe. Other characters also play their roles with knowledge about the trains and machinations. Yet, the show does a sloppy job at exposition. The writing is lifeless despite the mechanics explained. No clever background stories. Instead, you get awfully timed scenarios including cliffhangers and predictable outcomes. Some episodes also makes little sense with saturated misunderstandings that will make you face palm.
Some people might also see this as an action flick. Perhaps the first episode highlights this bit with Aoi’s debut and her impressions. There’s some properly timed action scenes with firearms and fighting techniques. But really, that’s about it. If Michael Bay was to direct this series, maybe the show could be a bit appealing with jaw-breaking action scenes. However, the show only occasionally adapts this fashion as most of it is covered by its cliché-riddled ideas. The comedy also makes diehard attempt to make the audience laugh but fails with the usual shenanigans. As the show likes to take risks with trivia and facts, there are occasionally moments that can evoke interest. Some episodes have a thrillerish feeling such as stopping a terrorist bomb. However, the series tries far too hard when this ploy becomes the focus. Dialogues are also cheesy with less emphasis on the premise but more potential relationship developments. Unfortunately, Naoto is dense as a rock despite the obvious hints that the various girls drops throughout the show. Whether it’s genuine or not, Naoto’s love life is like a train-wreck as he isn’t committed about getting a girlfriend. Perhaps he is in love with trains…
Visuals wise, the show only has a few moments when you’ll have eyes glued to the screen. Unfortunately, those glorious moments are short lived by its poor timing. I’m not talking about the action scenarios but the overall execution tied in with the story. Similarly, characters sends a poor message with their professional attires. The girls wear short skirts while the guys lack appeal. Naoto’s face is what I would describe as the Average Joe; the plain guy. Also, expect tons of fan service whether it’s the inevitable beach episode or the lascivious camera angles. Perhaps the only other thing I can give praise to the artwork would be the technology as the backgrounds are solid. The trains doesn’t look very impressive but is faithful to the designs.
Soundtrack isn’t impressive but at the same time doesn’t kill the show completely. Character voice mannerism are dense with Naoto’s dull personality making little impact for interest. However, the girls does have a diversity of voice mannerisms. The most evident is Aoi and Haruka as they compete for their love. As result of this, expect nothing more than annoying chit chat. On the more technical side, background music and OST is sufficient enough to be acceptable. The biggest reward for perhaps every episode is the ED song for its delivery. It’s sad to say but the ED song alone dwarfs the story of this show with its recreational imagery. The OP song also has some catchy beats to accompany the premise.
By the time you finish reading this review, you’re probably thinking about refraining yourself to watch this show. And to be honest, that should be the right decision to take. This little harem-esque adventure is saturated with fan service, characterless framework, and a plot that jumps all over the place. There are times when one might wonder if the show is about trains at all. Sure, there are some info dumps and mechanics but this may all be quickly forgotten by the message the show is really trying to send. Instead of learning about trains, you’ll be distracted in the same way Naoto is with his lady friends. In retrospect, Rail Wars destroys itself by derailing the premise and leads it to become….a train wreck.
