Sep 16, 2014
Rice (All reviews)
Rail Wars! was one of those shows that everybody had high hopes for prior to the new season. Within one episode, the sound of crushed hopes were heard all over the world. However, those with only tits and ass on their minds were blessed.

Story (2/10): The title is fairly misleading. You expect a show about Japan's massive train system (finally) to get ecchi bullshit with a cast of teens doing mundane crap completely unrelated to trains. Sure, you get a bunch of train shots and information on trains, but the main group of kids don't actually drive them. So there is no sign of a story at all. But what you might think is a story (Takayama becoming a train driver) barely even happens! The show is full to the brim with so much pointless garbage that it seems as though Takayama never really makes any progress towards becoming a train driver. The only way I see Takayama could make any progress towards becoming a train driver is when his team completes one of those stupid tasks, because he is basically given all of the credit after doing nothing at all just because of his title as "temporary leader." For example: in episode four, Sakurai saved Nao from her stalker while Takayama fell into the boobs of Nao's manager who then fell into Nao. Later, Nao came to give Takayama a gift for saving her. To which she began falling in love with him btw. I'd also like to point out that in the MAL description for Rail Wars!, there is a sentence that says "On top of that, an extremist group called "RJ" plots to privatize the Japanese National Railways." This sentence makes Rail Wars! even more misleading than it already is. I assure you, this is not the story of Rail Wars!.

Art (3/10): Honestly, Rail Wars! has some of the most dodgy, inconsistent art I've ever seen. If you look at my live blog posts for Rail Wars!, you'll see that I went through episode two and screenshotted all the inconsistencies. Rail Wars! even tends to have huge slip ups where you might think it counts the most for a show like this - the tits and asses.

Sound (5/10): The OP and ED were fairly nice and kind of unique for anime songs. The sound effects however were more or less on the average side. You watch Sidonia no Kishi once and then you start to realise how mediocre everything else seems to sound. Takayama's voice actor does a good job of bringing out the uselessness of Takayama's character, the other main male character's voice actor is the perfect fit for a guy that eats a lot. His voice just makes me think of some guy shoveling food into his mouth, and that's pretty all the guy does. So I suppose the voice acting was fair.

Character (3/10): Takayama is that stereotypical harem lead that is a chick magnet for no reason at all. He has less than no good points about him, and neither has he done anything to make the girls fall in love with him (that's how it usually goes, right? Man save girl. Girl now love man).

Sakurai is the stereotypical big breasted, red headed tsundere. She takes every chance she has to fall into the lap of Takayama and arch her back so her big ass is in full view. Don't get me wrong though... It's a nice ass.

Takayama's guy friend is a person I don't know the name of because for some reason Rail Wars! has failed to give one of the main characters any screen time at all. He just appears sometimes to fight someone or to eat something.

Koumi is just another big breasted girl that is in love with Takayama for no reason at all. She has no real worth but to smack her tits into Takayama's face and memorize 1000 page books in under 5 minutes.

Mari is yet another big breasted girl that is in love with Takayama for no reason at all. She exists only to coincidentally appear wherever Takayama and his crew are.

Enjoyment (2/10): I had my hopes up really high to have them shot down as if I had just flown over Ukraine. After the 4th episode I just started watching it solely for the asses.

Overall (3/10): Don't bother... Really. If you were hoping for a new show about trains, you'll just have to wait for a show that is actually about trains like the rest of us.