I found myself stuck in the puddle of mediocrity that is 2014 summer season. Akame ga Kill, Tokyo Ghoul, Aldnoah.Zero and SAO II. I was slowly losing my faith in anime and on several occasions I thought that I should try to go outside my room and socialize with other Homo Sapiens. It was that bad.
Then I saw a pillar.
A pillar of hope.
A pillar of testosterone and manlyness.
A pillar of Jojo.
Story: 10 pillars of hope/10 pillars of hope
"This makes my plays look like Mars of Destruction in comparison" -William Shakespeare
Where do I begin? At the start most likely. It starts with our hero Jotaro Kujo (This parts Jojo) sitting in a prison cell. You will be asking yourself: "How can such a man, who is the manfistation of coolness and manlyness be stuck in prison?" Then you find out he has put himself in a cell to protect people from the "evil spirit" that is possessing him. Now something will happen to you, but don't worry. It's just your body reacting to the heroic and noble sacrifice done by our protagonist. Ejaculations and sudden hysterical crying is normal.
Then he finds out that this "evil spirit" is something called a stand. A stand is a supernatural power that curtain individuals can use and each stand has different powers and different strenghts. Therefore to defeat different stands different strategies is needed. Jojo will bring Sun Tzu to shame with it's genius tactics and strategies.
Due to certain events Jotaro's mother gets infected by a stand and is dying. The only way to save her is by defeating the evil Dio (WARNING: wear swimming trousers each time he apears, because your panties will be wet after each time Dio has an appearance) who has haunted the Joestar family for years. So our hero goes on a journey like no other to defeat Dio and save his mother.
The plot is full of plot twists and asks alot of philosophical questions and answers them as well. The plot is complex like no other and is so well written I found myself suddenly crying because of how good and intriguing it was. After having watched Jojo I see the world in a different light and my IQ has been raised by 8 points. It's that deep and philosphical.
Art: 18 reroreros/ 4,8 reroreros
"If only my art was this good"- Pablo Picasso
Your eyes are not decieving you. The art is truly this manly and fabulous. Currently in 18 nations around the planet Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders is banned because the art is so good it counts as a drug. The art is so good and testorene filled that it's addictive. Yes. It is that good.
On several occasions I found myself drooling on the fantastisc artwork and character designs. Normally one would wonder why people are wearing school uniforms during a journey to the other side of the world, but not in Jojo, because it looks so good on them. Studios such as Ufotable, Shaft and Madhouse has a few things to learn here when it comes to amazing artwork.
Sound: 389 Oraora's/ 217,82 Oraora's
"Now that I have heard the voice acting and ost of Jojo i can die happy" -Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
I never thought perfection existed in this world. That was until I watched Jojo. Your ears will bleed of pure ecstacy while watching Jojo. Everytime I heard a "Oh No" or "Oh my god" coming from Joseph I had a ejaculation and nothing can prepare your body for "rerorero". "Rerorero" made all the citizens of a small village in Siberia cut off their own ears, because they knew they would never hear anything that good aver again.
My earphones exploded on several occasions, because it could't handle Jojo's voice acting. I'm now on my 23rd headphones. The voices fit the characters so good you will be thinking: "Were the voice actors born just to play these roles?" Yes they were. In several interviews the voice actors have confirmed that they have since birth feeled that they were born to be voice actors for Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.
Characters: 5 wet panties/5 wet panties
"God, I wish I was as cool and smooth as Jotaro" -Immanuel Kant
The characters of Stardust Crusaders is the best part. You might think: "They can't possibly be that good?" and let me tell you this: they're not. THEY ARE BETTER!
First our lead Jotaro who is the embodiment of coolness. Jotaro is noble and manly like few other. Every episode you will scream out in despar: "How can Jotaro get out of this?" And each time Jotaro will use his manlyness and godlike intellegence and win against all odds. Side effects of this is you standing up screaming: "F*CK YEAH!" on several occasions. You will find yourself striving to be like Jotaro for the rest of your life after having seen him in action.
The side characters are also superb. They all bring their own distinct personalities, ideals and struggles to the story. You will find yourself drowning in different ideoligies and moralities. You will also start questioning your own morality and ideals thanks to this show.
The side characters are also fleshed out and gets development. When you are finished with this show you it will feel like you have known these characters for years, no, DECADES.
The show is also full of grey morality. The villains are fleshed out like no other and even brins Legend of the Galactic Heroes to shame with it's grey morality. You will feel for both the protagonists and the antagonists throughout this adventure.
Enjoment/Overall: 10 manly tears/10 manly tears
"If I had to only watch one anime in my life, it would be Jojo" -Aristotle
I shed manly tears. I laughed. I was moved emotionally and I will never be the same man again.
This show is the show that saved anime summer season 2014 for me( it's not even a part of the summer season.)
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders is not only an anime. It is a piece of art. Words cannot even begin to describe it's manlyness and fabulousness. I can only describe a small part of all the testosterone.
You should all watch Jojo over all the other mediocries that is currently airing and to help you understand that I have written this review. There is no need to thank me. Thank Jojo for being so amazing. Now, go! Go and watch Jojo!