Jul 6, 2014
Solid_Cow (All reviews)
Yowamushi Pedal is not a good show. It's a standard, predictable shounen sports series that does nothing memorable or exciting. Every conflict in the story is caused by not having enough pride in your team, and every conflict is resolved by having more pride in your team. The characters all fit neatly into their pre-determined stereotypes, and nothing really changes between the start of the show and the last end card. But this show does excel in one area, and that is copious amounts of balls-to-the-wall MANSERVICE.

Now, I don't claim to be an expert on the admiration of the male physique. I like my ladies more than I like my guys, which is why I lean towards shows like Highschool DxD more than Free. But I started this show with no idea what I was getting myself into, and for the first, oh, 10 episodes it was a so-so show about bicycles. Then it started happening. The outfits got tighter, the shorts got shorter, and the amount of screen real estate taken up by sweaty butts increased dramatically. I was bewildered by this sudden turn. “Truly,” thought I, “these camera angles are those reserved for fanservice shots, but there is nary a panty to be seen!” It wasn't until 2 episodes before the show ended that I finally had a complete conception of what I was seeing. It was a shot of two cyclists crossing the finish line, one positioned triumphantly behind the other with his arms held to the sky, hips thrust proudly into the rear of the one in front. The loser was wide-eyed at this sudden shock, overcome with the realization that the winner had completely taken him by surprise. It was then that I knew just how far from home I had come.

Yowamushi Pedal is a show built entirely on a foundation of manliness. You're apt to see so many sweaty, panting men with their firm butts thrust high in the air, grasping at each other and fighting for dominance, that you'll never want for another slash fic again. There is a veritable smorgasbord of masculinity on display for any tastes you might have. Do you fancy the stoic leader type? Take your pick from any of the team leaders. Do you prefer a foul-mouthed lone wolf who secretly cares deeply for his friends? You got it. Want a tall, awkward guy with a big heart? Well, you're getting one anyway. The dogged nice guy with a dark and troubled past even makes an appearance. Like your guys with a more bishounen appeal? Here's a fun activity: count all the female cyclists you see on the character page. Done? Those are all guys. Do you love big beefy bros? There's not one, but TWO massive mountains of man-meat here, one of which even names his muscles for easy reference in fan fics. “Oh Arakita-san, please rub lotion on my Andy...” Like long, spindly guys with no bones and a sociopathic hatred of humans? You may want to talk to someone about that, but in the meantime, enjoy Yowamushi Pedal! No matter your preference, this show's got you covered.

Should you watch Yowamushi Pedal? If you've read this far, you should already know the answer to that. If you like men's butts and you cannot lie, pick this one up and tough out the first two arcs. You will be richly rewarded. If you just want to watch a by-the-numbers shounen then by all means, pick this up as well. But if you're not in the mood for manservice and you don't want to see something that insults your intelligence, then give Yowamushi Pedal a pass. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go marathon Seikon no Qwaser to reaffirm my sexuality.