Every once in a while, you watch something bad that doesn't feel like a total waste of time, because it's just so bad that you learn from it exactly what you never want to see from any form of media again. Or teaches you exactly what NOT to do if you write something yourself.
Golden Time was honestly such a terrible experience that it was almost rewarding.
The entire show was like an empty shell; you could keep looking long and hard for a pearl as much as you wanted and nothing but disappointment would surface. I give them credit for at least trying to escape the ordinary by setting the whole thing in a college instead of a high school, but in the end the scarce focus on the setting and the way the characters behaved like incomprehensible children instead of young adults made it all pointless. The use of tons of romcom cliches (amnesia as a plot device, sad childhood friend, half-assed love triangle, misunderstandings as source of conflict) was constant and just as poorly done as the attempts to make the whole thing stand out from other bad, stereotypical romcoms.
The entire plot revolved around Banri's amnesia and his relationship with Koko, with no focus or backstory for the side characters and relationships at all. Not only the whole thing got excruciatingly tiresome after a while, but it was clear that there wasn't enough of it to fill 24 episodes: the conflict dragged its feet for much longer than necessary, and there were lots of episodes that were so useless you could just cut off entirely and it would make no difference. They started to appeal to source of new conflicts that were so silly and uncalled for it was impossible not to question what the hell the author was even thinking. Also, the main conflict itself was done in a way that made it completely unappealing and dull; It's especially notable how they made Banri's "past self" a literal ghost that follows him around sulking, which let's face it, makes it hard to take everything seriously. Not to mention that they asspulled the most boring, predictable conclusion they possibly could for this storyline right on the last episode. Amnesia is a cliché that may work if done right, but in Golden Time it isn't compelling at all.
Moreover, the main couple's relationship and scenes were absolutely unnatural, forced and cringe-worthy. The show gives them no time to develop feelings for each other, forcing them together 6 episodes in. Their personalities don't mash at all, making all of their interactions feel extremely awkward. There was no enjoyment whatsoever in seeing them interacting, no heartstrings pulled, no fun, no cuteness, nothing. It wasn't organic, or realistic, and it sure as hell wasn't convincing. It just fails into delivering.
The main problem with Golden Time's writing, though, doesn't even lie on the awkwardly put together plot, no. It's on the characters.
It's no exaggeration to say that Koko and Banri are among the worst leads in any romance anime I have ever seen. Banri is absolutely plain - no distinguishing personality traits, no quirks, no ideals, no goals, NOTHING about him is interesting. He's the boy with amnesia, boyfriend of Koko, and nothing more. He's just there. The fact that he lost his memories is really no excuse for his boring character either - come on, even Elfen Lied's Nyuu had more personality than this guy, and she didn't even remember how to go to the toilet. Koko, on the other hand, is painfully unlikeable. She's an annoying cheeky brat who's always causing trouble and victimizing herself. Right off the bat she's shown to be stalking her childhood friend and wanting to force him into marriage, and then screams at him and acts like a vulnerable damsel who has been wronged when he shows to be uncomfortable and creeped out. Once she engages on her relationship with Banri and shows a kinder side and some acceptable character development, she becomes considerably less unlikeable, but still annoying, to the point where I caught myself thinking "Of course she's with him, only some boy with zero personality and sense of self would willingly spend time with this girl". It's that bad. And because of this, whenever the drama kicked in, it was really hard to care. Why should I? How can the viewer possibly relate with these two? Why would I get sad over characters who keep acting like dumbasses instead of like sensible human beings?
The other characters are barely worth commenting, with maybe the exception of Linda, Banri's senior and friend. She is infinitely more likeable than Koko, but her role in the story is confusing and unclear - is she supposed to be another end of a love triangle? Is she in love with him, is she jealous? Is her relationship with Banri only sister-like, and she really doesn't see him as more than a friend? We don't know (at least not until the final ten minutes of the last episode in a really plain and threw-this-scene-in-for-the-sake-of-explaining-her-feelings development - oh, well). Aside of Linda, the side characters might as well not even exist. Literally - and I mean that - every dialogue they have among themselves is about the main couple. Their personalities are pretty much non-existent, and the sad attempts of giving them some depth of their own are so fribble it's laughable. They're only there to talk about the main couple and act like idiots on their own accord.
The art and animation are savorless. It's pretty below average and there's nothing special about it, except if you count some dramatic scenes that were animated so exaggeratedly that became hilarious. The character designs are pretty flat and unoriginal, Koko looks pretty much like a grown-up Aisaka Taiga. The music isn't noteworthy either - Horie Yui did a good job voicing Koko, Kayano Ai's voice is cute as usual, but that's about it.
Golden Time was definitely not an enjoyable experience . Watching it every week felt like a task and I got bored regularly. But at the very least, it definitely reminded me of some of the things that can make a story dreadful, and taught me to avoid it. And maybe next time I watch a good romantic comedy, I can think back to this show and enjoy the good aspects of whatever I'm watching at the time even more.
Scores/tl;dr
Story: 3/10 - Empty, poorly written. Drags its conflicts for more time than necessary, doesn't know how to distribute its focus, suffers from melodrama.
Art & Sound: 4/10 - Below average.
Characters: 3/10 - Act stupidly for the plot's sake, are either unlikeable or have no personality at all, questionable character development.
Enjoyment: 3/10
Overall: 4/10
