Feb 23, 2014
Agathist (All reviews)
Ever since I saw Iron Man back in 2008, I've been keen on cutting a hole in my chest into which I'll plant a large electromagnet in the hopes of gaining superior intellect and eventually becoming a facsimile of Tony Stark.

Oppai no Ouja 48 is about a boy. No, no. A man. A man who, like me, dreams of the impossible. His dream, unlike mine, comes from his obsession with breasts. So strong is his obsession that he wants to achieve the ultimate harem and eventually become the king of breasts. I know, I know. You're probably wondering why he would want to do that when he could do something much simpler with his right hand. Or he could stay up until around midnight and put on Showtime or HBO. Cause you know, that's when all the good stuff starts. The protagonist, Naoya, chooses neither the former nor the latter; instead he chooses to pursue his highly ambitious dream.

One sudden day, Naoya receives these coupons from a mysterious girl called Nihru. They allow him to make love to whoever he shows them to. Incredulous at first, he tests out one of the coupons. To his surprise, the coupon worked. The person he used the coupon on gave him a champion bra as a reward. It is revealed that this young man is on a quest; he must obtain five champion bras.

Naoya doesn't undertake this quest unequipped. His girth is so massive that when he shoves it up someone's rectum, it displaces all his/her internal organs because there can only be room for his massive c*ck. Apart from his reproductive organ and coupons, he possesses a mechanism that nearly all viewers should recognize. Perseus had a shield, the cap of invisibility, and an unbreakable sword. Achilles had armor forged by Hephaestus. What does Naoya have? A scouter that tells him detailed info about his target.

The most notable detail this mechanism is able to pick up is the power level of someone's breasts. It also comes with a nifty x-ray function that allows him to see the breasts of a clothed woman. Vegeta, what does the scouter say about—ha, I bet you thought I was going to go through with that stupid meme. That scene is parodied though; it occurs within the first six minutes actually. With the help of this scouter and the coupons bestowed upon him, his life drastically changes. Visualize the Mediterranean sea. Now replace all the water with breasts. That's essentially the life of this guy. He's literally drowning in this piece of meat.

By the end of this anime, Naoya's done it all. Maids, professors, school girls, priestesses, and even his sister (there's also a bunch of girls that pretend to be his sister). A random lady serving juice. A random lady that accidently sprays water over him. A random voice actor. A random housewife. A random teacher. A random girl in an elevator. A random girl in the fast-food industry. And a random porn star. Fidelity is lost on this man.

Loyal is probably the worst word one could use to describe Naoya. After the first act of penetration, he's practically done; he doesn't feel the need to continue seeing that person. He vaguely reminds me of Kino. They're both travelers since neither stay in the same spot for too long. Kino's going from one place to another; Naoya's going from one person to another. Both of them are also quite impartial. To him, all breasts are created equal. Size may vary, but he believes size doesn't matter.

Of course, they can only pack so much penetration into one hour. In order to make room for this sexual content, the anime spends very little time to provide details about most of the girls. We don't even hear the names of many of them (or their relationship to the main character). There's a scene before the ending that quickly depicts various girls Naoya conquers. Apparently these are all girls from the visual novel that the anime didn't have time to include. Normally, these would be pretty big issues when judging the character aspect to an anime. This is pornography though; both the expectations and standards are so low that it doesn't matter.

Is there anything wrong with having multiple liaisons though? There are so many negative implications one can find by considering Naoya's actions. The most obvious of which is that it's like he believes the only use women have is to be used for sex. Look at the bright side though. It's not like he's committing acts of rape. Or is he? One could make the argument it's rape because of the coupons. Even though all the girls Naoya interacted with enjoyed the experience, the coupons forced them to do something they may not have necessarily wanted to do.

I think I've spent enough time on Naoya for now, I'd like to bring up a certain motif now. A recurrent motif is the relationship between man and breasts. You're probably already aware of this, but breasts aren't used for their intended purpose (i.e. feeding a baby) in this anime. In almost every situation, this happens: Naoya pulls out, bodily fluids are released, and they somehow manage to find their way onto someone's breasts. It might be an attempt at avoiding pregnancy, but a condom would do that much more effectively.

When a male ejaculates inside a female's reproductive organ, a big race happens. There's like a million sperm cells, but only one of them can win. It's essentially every sperm cell for itself. That one lucky sperm cell meets the egg; thus paving the road for a baby to be born. By pulling out, Naoya is attempting to deny this union between sperm and egg; therefore he is attempting to deny the creation of life.

The purpose of sex has always been reproduction; without it, most of humanity wouldn't exist. The only exception to this is anyone named Ben. Did you know Benjamin means "son of the right hand?" In other words, Ben is the product of self-pleasure. His father's semen basically underwent a metamorphosis into a person. It's both interesting and bizarre when you think about it.

Back to what I was saying, Naoya is clearly engaging in coitus for the sake of pleasure, not for the sake of reproducing. This reflects how society's values have changed. People used to describe sex as something you do when you love someone (and wanted to have kids), now it's all about the pleasure. I previously mentioned that semen always lands on someone's breasts. This should be looked at as a symbol that further underscores the devaluing of sex. When semen lands there, it's practically wasted. Someone's going to pull out a tissue and wipe it off. The end; there is no fertilization here. The value of semen just isn't what it used to be.

I appreciated three things about this anime. The first is its protagonist, the second is the insight, and the third is the humor. The Dragon Ball Z parody is sure to give you a good laugh. Nihru's nonchalant attitude towards everything is a source of decent amusement. And the plot itself is laughably ridiculous. The two funniest scenes occur in the second episode. One of these scenes is something I've always wanted to see: An army of people jacking it.

At one point in his quest, Naoya journeys to an anime convention. There, he witnesses all these anime fans lined up and performing onanism. On the stage in front of them stood Naoya beside a girl. By the power invested in his coupons, he becomes her proxy d*ck. Needless to say, the anime fans make it rain. It was like a blizzard happened, except it wasn't snow that came (something came alright). Bukkake at its finest, I suppose.

As much as I enjoyed the humor, a lot of it could be improved. For example, my favorite scene is the one where Naoya said something about starring in a porno. In a later scene, he should've run into a random person that recognizes him. "Hey, I saw you on the front page of PornHub last night!" It's understandable why this didn't happen though (the porn star appeared very briefly). What I don't understand is why a janitor didn't show up at the anime convention after the white climax. He would see the stage and say, "What the hell happened here!?"

Humor that could be improved is the least of this anime's problems. The biggest issue pertains to breasts. When I called Naoya impartial, that was a white lie. Although it's true that he doesn't turn down any girls (or judge them based on size), the fact is that every girl in this anime has huge breasts. The only girl with small breasts is living with him, but she can't be used in this argument because of the ending.

Another big issue is the coupons; they're essentially a deus ex machina. Naoya's quest is supposed to be a long and difficult one. The search itself might be long, but the sudden appearance of these coupons makes conquering his targets so much easier. There's the super onanist who fought off over a dozen cops while choking his turkey. Then there's the Japanese cook who fed his reproductive organ to guests at a dinner party. What these two guys accomplished is difficult to do. Their actions by themselves aren't respectable, but the difficulty of the task deserves praise. The protagonist of this anime hasn't achieved anything difficult because these coupons take away that difficulty.

This last issue is one that comes up in most pornography. Why do characters never use protection? Time and time again, pornography depicts characters engaging in sex without the use of proper protection. I don't know why this happens. Is it caused by a lack of knowledge or is there an ancient rule that states, "thou shalt not wear thy condom?"

I could understand if this anime was produced during the eighties. Back then, everyone was dying from AIDS. There were like four people left and it was up to them to restore the human population (God bless those four souls). I have a theory as to where the disease originated. So there was Noah and his ark filled with animals—that's how we got AIDS. Either that, or it all goes back to Magic Johnson, the man who stuck his magic johnson in the wrong spot. At least we have a cure now. You have to inject large doses of concentrated cash into your blood stream.

If you think doctors play the most importance role in society, you're wrong. The true heroes in our society are the condom men: The people who devote their time to making protection to be used by the general public. I don't even want to imagine how different reality would be if that blacksmith never forged the early prototype of the condom back during the middle ages. We're fortunate enough to live in a world where there are people who have given up their college education in order to decrease the prevalence of AIDS in the world (I suppose Africa is proof they failed, but that's beside the point). Pornography doesn't seem to be very considerate of this though.

Flaws aside, there are more good things about this anime than bad; its only developed character, Naoya, is one of those good things. Up to this point, I've described him as nothing more than a man who can't get enough of sex and breasts. He changes though. Although he was an average pervert in the beginning, there's a very dramatic change in his character by the end.

I'm so glad this anime didn't end with a sex scene. After indulging in so much hedonism, Naoya realizes what he wanted wasn't what he needed. Not only that, but he began to comprehend what real love is. He no longer equips the scouter. His obsession no longer clouds his mind. I'm not going to lie, this change in character is extremely sudden. It's alright though; this is pornography. In a genre like this, character development is extremely rare.

Here's one final idea worth mentioning. Even though Naoya devoted so much of his life to fulfilling his dream, this is the painful reality of his situation: Once he finds the final bra, his halcyon days are over (which he does eventually realize). For many, this would be the equivalent of realizing your life will abruptly come to an end one day. Then everything you've done up until that moment is rendered pointless even though that's how it's always been.

Oppai no Ouja 48 is a lot of things. It's a reflection of what sex has become in today's society. It's a piece of pornography that blends humor with copious sexual content. Most importantly, though, it's a story of a man coming to terms with reality like no other.