Report simonephone's Profile


Anime Stats
Days: 67.5
Mean Score: 5.91
  • Total Entries435
  • Rewatched26
  • Episodes4,043
Anime History Last Anime Updates
Banana Fish
Banana Fish
May 16, 5:01 PM
Watching 4/24 · Scored -
Zankyou no Terror
Zankyou no Terror
May 16, 4:34 PM
Plan to Watch · Scored -
Carole & Tuesday
Carole & Tuesday
May 16, 6:01 AM
Plan to Watch · Scored -
Manga Stats
Days: 10.2
Mean Score: 7.36
  • Total Entries135
  • Reread1
  • Chapters1,680
  • Volumes160
Manga History Last Manga Updates
Boku no Chikyuu wo Mamotte
Boku no Chikyuu wo Mamotte
Apr 25, 7:51 PM
Plan to Read · Scored -
Yagate Kimi ni Naru
Yagate Kimi ni Naru
Jan 30, 12:49 PM
Plan to Read · Scored -
Yakusoku no Neverland
Yakusoku no Neverland
Jan 29, 4:55 PM
Dropped 9/? · Scored -


All Comments (50) Comments

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Bernex7 May 11, 7:01 PM
Wow… You’re definitely a woman of culture :D
ugnDVNC May 9, 6:04 AM
As you maybe saw, I've started too much series hahaha!
Finishing one or two, then I'll throw myself into your list :D
ugnDVNC May 9, 3:17 AM
Thanks again for the big recommendation list!
Adding you so I can check up on your recent finds eheh c:
Tayyyyy Apr 27, 8:46 AM
Oh, that's ok. Sorry if I was rude, I really love it, it's my favourite show, so I'm a bit of a fanboy, heh. But there's no problem in disliking it
Tayyyyy Apr 9, 6:53 PM
5 to Gurren Lagann??????????
BorisM3 Dec 13, 2018 11:33 AM
major bummer
BorisM3 Dec 12, 2018 11:37 PM
what dat
does this actually go to a real location?
is this a puzzle?
if it is i wanna try it
BorisM3 Dec 9, 2018 10:34 AM
landis and mike should never be combined like that. ever.
existentialist Nov 28, 2018 6:21 PM
Yeah I was wondering cause I saw you had it in your manga favourites. What part of the manga was your fav that didn't get covered in the anime? Oh fuck yeah. If I had the money I would have funded the production of it myself. That's the biggest flaw of anime, 99% of them never finish, so even if 98% is trash the 1% of gold is thrown away too.
-Shane Nov 25, 2018 9:13 AM
Did you ever have a bad LSD trip when you were using?
existentialist Nov 24, 2018 7:40 PM
Thanks, I respect your respect. Your fav list is interesting from my perspective, you have some stuff I love and others I loathe. But oh yeah Aku no hana is my all time favourite anime... I was kind of disappointed in where the manga went, but I think in the end they made it work.
mkzxwing Oct 2, 2018 11:42 AM
It sounds nitpicky? Well, first of all that's not an argument, and second of all, it probably IS because i deconstructed the whole thing in detail, so would be more surprising if it wasn't, considering how many flaws there are.
Ishiryoku Sep 15, 2018 11:34 PM
I came here for your signature but you also seem to have good taste. greetings
OnegaiSensei666 Jul 31, 2018 2:36 AM
Joaopsm Jul 27, 2018 7:19 AM
Shrek 2 Script

[man's voice] Once upon a time

in a kingdom far, far away,

the king and queen were blessed

with a beautiful baby girl.

And throughout the land,

everyone was happy...

until the sun went down

and they saw that their daughter was

cursed with a frightful enchantment

that took hold each and every night.

Desperate, they sought the help

of a fairy godmother

who had them lock the young princess

away in a tower,

there to await the kiss...

of the handsome Prince Charming.

[horse whinnies]

It was he who would chance

the perilous journey

through blistering cold

and scorching desert

traveling for many days and nights,

risking life and limb

to reach the Dragon's keep.

[crows caw]

For he was the bravest,

and most handsome...

in all the land.

And it was destiny that his kiss

would break the dreaded curse.

He alone would climb to the highest room

of the tallest tower

to enter the princess's chambers,

cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,

pull back the gossamer curtains

to find her... [gasps]


- Princess... Fiona?

- No!

[sighs relief] Oh, thank heavens.

Where is she?

- She's on her honeymoon.

- Honeymoon? With whom?

- She's on her honeymoon.

- Honeymoon? With whom?

[ Counting Crows: Accidentally In Love]

So she said

what's the problem, baby?

What's the problem?

I don't know

Well, maybe I'm in love

Think about it

every time I think 'bout it

Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer

will it take to cure this?

Just to cure it,

'cause I can't ignore it

If it's love, love

Makes me wanna turn around

and face me

But I don't know nothing

'bout love

Oh, come on, come on

- [screams]

- Turn a little faster

Come on, come on

The world will follow after

Come on, come on

Everybody's after love

So I said

I'm a snowball running

Running down into this spring

that's coming all this love

Melting under blue skies

belting out sunlight

Shimmering love

Well, baby, I surrender

To the strawberry ice cream

Never ever end of all this love

Well, I didn't mean to do it

But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning

mean we're never alone

Never alone, no, no

Come on, come on

Jump a little higher

Come on, come on

If you feel a little lighter

Come on, come on

We were once upon a time in love


We're accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love


I'm in love, I'm in love,

I'm in love, I'm in love

I'm in love, I'm in love

Accidentally in love

I'm in love

I'm in love

It's so good to be home!

- [distant singing]

- [giggling]

Just you and me and...

[Donkey sings]

- Two can be as bad as one...

- Donkey?

Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two

a sight for sore eyes!

Give us a hug, Shrek,

you old love machine.


And look at you, Mrs. Shrek.

How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?

Donkey, what are you doing here?

Taking care of your love nest for you.

Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail

and watering the plants?

- Yeah, and feeding the fish!

- I don't have any fish.

You do now. I call that one Shrek

and the other Fiona.

That Shrek is a rascally devil.

Get your...

Look at the time.

I guess you'd better be going.

Don't you want to tell me about your trip?

Or how about a game of Parcheesi?

Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be

getting home to Dragon?

Oh, yeah, that.

I don't know.

She's been all moody and stuff lately.

I thought I'd move in with you.

You know we're always happy

to see you, Donkey.

But Fiona and I are married now.

We need a little time, you know,

to be together.

Just with each other.


Say no more.

You don't have to worry about a thing.

I will always be here to make sure

nobody bothers you.

- Donkey!

- Yes, roomie?

You're bothering me.

Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess...

Me and Pinocchio was going to catch

a tournament, anyway, so...

Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday

for a barbecue or something.

He'll be fine.

Now, where were we?

[giggles] Oh.

I think I remember.

- Donkey!

- [Fiona yelps]

I know, I know! Alone!

I'm going! I'm going.

What do you want me

to tell these other guys?


[ theme to Hawaii Five-O]

Enough, Reggie.

[clears throat] "Dearest Princess Fiona.

"You are hereby summoned

to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away

"for a royal ball

in celebration of your marriage

"at which time the King

"will bestow his royal blessing...

upon you and your..."

uh..."Prince Charming.

"Love, the King and Queen

of Far, Far Away.

"aka Mom and Dad."

Mom and Dad?

- Prince Charming?

- Royal ball? Can I come?

- We're not going.

- [both] What?

I mean, don't you think

they might be a bit...

shocked to see you like this?

[chuckles] Well, they might be

a bit surprised.

But they're my parents, Shrek.

They love me.

And don't worry.

They'll love you, too.

Yeah, right.

Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome

at the country club.

Stop it.

They're not like that.

How do you explain Sergeant Pompous

and the Fancy Pants Club Band?

Oh, come on! You could at least

give them a chance.

To do what?

Sharpen their pitchforks?

No! They just want

to give you their blessing.

Oh, great.

Now I need their blessing?

If you want to be a part

of this family, yes!

Who says I want

to be part of this family?

You did!

When you married me!

Well, there's some fine print for you!

[exasperated sigh]

So that's it. You won't come?

Trust me. It's a bad idea.

We are not going! And that's final!

Come on!

We don't want to hit traffic!

[Gingy] Don't worry!

We'll take care of everything.

[all cheer]

- Hey, wait for me. Oof!

- [glass breaks]


[ Chic: Le Freak]

Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up!

Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up!

Rawhide! Move 'em on!

Head 'em up!

Move 'em on! Move 'em on!

Head 'em up! Rawhide!

Ride 'em up! Move 'em on!

Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide!

Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead!

Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks!

Meet their mamas!

Milk 'em hard!



- [Donkey] Are we there yet?

- [Shrek] No.

- [Donkey] Are we there yet?

- [Fiona] Not yet.

- [Donkey] OK, are we there yet?

- [Fiona] No.

- [Donkey] Are we there yet?

- [Shrek] No!

- [Donkey] Are we there yet?

- [Shrek] Yes.

- Really?

- No!

- Are we there yet?

- [Fiona] No!

- Are we there yet?

- [Shrek] We are not!

- Are we there yet?

- [Shrek & Fiona] No!

- Are we there yet?

- [Shrek mimics]

- That's not funny. That's really immature.

- [Shrek mimics]

- This is why nobody likes ogres.

- [Shrek mimics]

- Your loss!

- [Shrek mimics]

- I'm gonna just stop talking.

- Finally!

This is taking forever, Shrek.

There's no in-flight movie or nothing!

The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey.

That's where we're going.

Far, far...

[softly] away!

All right, all right, I get it.

I'm just so darn bored.

Well, find a way

to entertain yourself.


[deep sigh]

[clicks tongue]


- [popping]

- [exasperated sigh]

For five minutes...

Could you not be yourself...

[shouts]... for five minutes!

- [popping]

- [shrieks]

Are we there yet?

- [chuckles] Yes!

- Oh, finally!


[ Lipps, Inc: Funkytown]


It's going to be champagne wishes

and caviar dreams from now on.

Hey, good-looking!

We'll be back to pick you up later!

Gotta make a move

to a town that's right for me

We are definitely not

in the swamp anymore.

[whistle] Halt!

Well, I talk about it, talk about it,

talk about it, talk about it

Hey, everyone, look.

Talk about, talk about movin'...

Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh?

You working that hat.

[Donkey] Swimming pools!

Movie stars!




Announcing the long-awaited return

of the beautiful Princess Fiona

and her new husband.

Well, this is it.

- This is it.

- This is it.

This is it.


[fanfare and cheering stop]



[baby wails]

Uh... why don't you guys go ahead?

I'll park the car.

[chuckles] So...

you still think

this was a good idea?

Of course! Look.

Mom and Dad look happy to see us.

- [softly] Who on earth are they?

- [softly] I think that's our little girl.

That's not little!

That's a really big problem.

Wasn't she supposed to kiss

Prince Charming and break the spell?

Well, he's no Prince Charming,

but they do look...

[softly] Happy now?

We came. We saw them.

Now let's go before

they light the torches.

- They're my parents.

- Hello? They locked you in a tower.

That was for my own...

Good! Here's our chance. Let's go

back inside and pretend we're not home.

Harold, we have to be...

Quick! While they're not looking

we can make a run for it.

Shrek, stop it!

Everything's gonna be...

A disaster! There is no way...

- You can do this.

- I really...

- Really...

- don't... want... to... be...


Mom... Dad...

I'd like you to meet my husband...


Well, um...

It's easy to see where Fiona

gets her good looks from.

[chuckles nervously]



- Excuse me.

- [Shrek & Fiona laugh]

Better out than in,

I always say, eh, Fiona?

[both giggle]

[Shrek] That's good.

I guess not.

What do you mean, "not on the list"?

Don't tell me you don't know who I am.

What do you mean, "not on the list"?

Don't tell me you don't know who I am.

What's happening, everybody?

Thanks for waiting.

- I had the hardest time finding this place.

- No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!

No, Dad! It's all right.

It's all right. He's with us.

- He helped rescue me from the dragon.

- That's me: the noble steed.


How 'bout a bowl for the steed?

Oh, boy.


- Um, Shrek?

- Yeah?

Oh, sorry!

Great soup, Mrs Q.


No, no. Darling.

[chuckles nervously] Oh!

So, Fiona, tell us

about where you live.


Shrek owns his own land.

- Don't you, honey?

- Oh, yes!

It's in an enchanted forest

abundant in squirrels

and cute little duckies and...

[laughing] What?

I know you ain't

talking about the swamp.

An ogre from a swamp.

Oh! How original.

I suppose that would be a fine place

to raise the children.

- [splutters]

- [chokes]

It's a bit early to be

thinking about that, isn't it?

- Indeed. I just started eating.

- Harold!

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Dad. It's great, OK?

- For his type, yes.

- My type?

I got to go to the bathroom.

- Dinner is served!

- Never mind. I can hold it.

Bon appetit!

Oh, Mexican food!

My favorite.

Let's not sit here with our tummies

rumbling. Everybody dig in.

Don't mind if I do, Lillian.

I suppose any grandchildren

I could expect from you would be...

Ogres, yes!

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Right, Harold?

Oh, no! No! Of course, not!

That is, assuming you don't

eat your own young!


No, we usually prefer the ones

who've been locked away in a tower!

- Shrek, please!

- I only did that because I love her.

Aye, day care

or dragon-guarded castle.

You wouldn't understand.

You're not her father!

It's so nice to have the family

together for dinner.

- Harold!

- Shrek!

- Fiona!

- Fiona!

- Mom!

- Harold...



Your fallen tears have called to me

So, here comes my sweet remedy

I know what every princess needs

For her to live life happily...

[both gasp]

Oh, my dear.

Oh, look at you.

You're all grown up.

- Who are you?

- Oh, sweet pea!

I'm your fairy godmother.

- I have a fairy godmother?

- Shush, shush.

Now, don't worry.

I'm here to make it all better.

With just a...

Wave of my magic wand

Your troubles will soon be gone

With a flick of the wrist and just a flash

You'll land a prince with a ton of cash

A high-priced dress

made by mice no less

Some crystal glass pumps

And no more stress

Your worries will vanish,

your soul will cleanse

Confide in your very own

furniture friends

We'll help you set a new fashion trend

- I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great

- The kind of girl a prince would date!

They'll write your name

on the bathroom wall...

"For a happy ever after,

give Fiona a call!"

A sporty carriage to ride in style,

Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle

Banish your blemishes, tooth decay,

Cellulite thighs will fade away

And oh, what the hey!

Have a bichon frisé! '

Nip and tuck, here and there

to land that prince with the perfect hair

Lipstick liners, shadows blush

To get that prince with the sexy tush

Lucky day, hunk buffet

You and your prince take a roll in the hay

You can spoon on the moon

With the prince to the tune

Don't be drab, you'll be fab

Your prince will have rock-hard abs

Cheese soufflé, Valentine's Day

Have some chicken fricassee!

Nip and tuck, here and there

To land that prince with the perfect hair


[chuckles] Look...

Thank you very much,

Fairy Godmother,

but I really don't need all this.

[gasps and mutterings of disapproval]

- Fine. Be that way.

- We didn't like you, anyway.

- [knocking]

- [Shrek] Fiona? Fiona?

[dog barks]

Oh! You got a puppy?

All I got in my room was shampoo.

Oh, uh...

Fairy Godmother, furniture...


I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.

Your husband? What? What did you say?

When did this happen?

Shrek is the one who rescued me.

- But that can't be right.

- Oh, great, more relatives!

She's just trying to help.

Good! She can help us pack.

Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.

- What?

- I don't want to leave.

When did you decide this?

- Shortly after arriving.

- Look, I'm sorry...

No, that's all right.

I need to go, anyway.

But remember, dear.

If you should ever need me...


is just a teardrop away.

Thanks, but we've got all

the happiness we need.

Happy, happy, happy...

[laughs] So I see.

Let's go, Kyle.

- Very nice, Shrek.

- What?

I told you coming here was a bad idea.

You could've at least tried

to get along with my father.

I don't think I was going to get

Daddy's blessing,

even if I did want it.

Do you think it might be nice

if somebody asked me what I wanted?

Sure. Do you want me

to pack for you?

You're unbelievable!

You're behaving like a...

- Go on! Say it!

- Like an ogre!

Here's a news flash for you!

Whether your parents like it or not...

I am an ogre!

- [yelps]

- [roars]

And guess what, Princess?

That's not about to change.

I've made changes for you, Shrek.

Think about that.

That's real smooth, Shrek.

"I'm an ogre!"

[mimics Shrek roaring]


I knew this would happen.

[Lillian] You should.

You started it.

I can hardly believe that, Lillian.

He's the ogre. Not me.

I think, Harold, you're taking this

a little too personally.

This is Fiona's choice.

But she was supposed to choose

the prince we picked for her.

I mean, you expect me to give

my blessings to this... thing?

Fiona does.

And she'll never forgive you if you don't.

I don't want to lose

our daughter again, Harold.

Oh, you act as if love

is totally predictable.

Don't you remember when

we were young?

We used to walk

down by the lily pond and...

- they were in bloom...

- Our first kiss.

It's not the same!

I don't think you realize that

our daughter has married a monster!

Oh, stop being such a drama king.

Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!

La, di, da, di, da!

Isn't it all wonderful!

I'd like to know

how it could get any worse!

- Hello, Harold.

- [gasps]

- What happened?

- Nothing, dear!

Just the old crusade wound

playing up a bit!


I'll just stretch it

out here for a while.

You better get in.

We need to talk.

Actually, Fairy Godmother,

off to bed.

[yawns] Already taken my pills,

and they tend to make me a bit drowsy.

So, how about... we make this

a quick visit. What?

Oh, hello.


So, what's new?

You remember my son,

Prince Charming?

Is that you? My gosh!

It's been years.

When did you get back?

Oh, about five minutes ago, actually.

After I endured blistering winds,

scorching desert...

I climbed to the highest room

in the tallest tower...

Mommy can handle this.

He endures blistering winds

and scorching desert!

He climbs to the highest bloody room

of the tallest bloody tower...

And what does he find?

Some gender-confused wolf

telling him that his princess

is already married.

It wasn't my fault.

He didn't get there in time.

Stop the car!



You force me to do something

I really don't want to do.

[gasps] Where are we?

Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy!

May I take your order?

My diet is ruined!

I hope you're happy. Er... okay.

Two Renaissance Wraps,

no mayo... chili rings...

- I'll have the Medieval Meal.

- One Medieval Meal and, Harold...

- Curly fries?

- No, thank you.

- Sourdough soft taco, then?

- No, really, I'm fine.

Your order, Fairy Godmother.

This comes with the Medieval Meal.

There you are, dear.

We made a deal, Harold, and I assume

you don't want me to go back on my part.

[sighs deeply] Indeed not.

So, Fiona and Charming will be together.

- Yes.

- Believe me, Harold. It's what's best.

Not only for your daughter...

but for your Kingdom.

What am I supposed to do about it?

Use your imagination.




Come on in, Your Majesty.

[piano plays, people talk]

I like my town

With a little drop of poison

Nobody knows...

[barman belches]

[clears throat] Excuse me.

Do I know you?

No, you must be mistaking me

for someone else.

Uh... excuse me.

I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister.

Ah! There you are. Right.

You see, I need to have

someone taken care of.

- Who's the guy?

- Well, he's not a guy, per se.

Um... He's an ogre.

[crowd gasp]

Hey, buddy, let me clue you in.

There's only one fellow who can handle

a job like that, and, frankly...

he don't like to be disturbed.

he don't like to be disturbed.

Where could I find him?

[knock on door]


Who dares enter my room?

Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but

I'm told you're the one to talk to

about an ogre problem?

You are told correct.

But for this, I charge

a great deal of money.

Would... this be enough?

You have engaged my valuable

services, Your Majesty.

Just tell me where

I can find this ogre.

[ Eels: I Need Some Sleep]



Everyone says

I'm getting down too low

Everyone says

you've just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

I need some sleep

Time to put the old horse down

I'm in too deep

And the wheels keep spinning round

Everyone says

you've just gotta let it go

Everyone says

you've just gotta let it go

Dear Knight, I pray that you take

this favor as a token of my gratitude.

[plays tune]

Dear Diary...

Sleeping Beauty is having

a slumber party tomorrow,

but Dad says I can't go.

He never lets me out after sunset.

Dad says I'm going away for a while.

Must be like some finishing school.

Mom says that when I'm old enough,

my Prince Charming will rescue me

from my tower

and bring me back to my family,

and we'll all live

happily ever after.

Mrs. Fiona Charming.

Mrs. Fiona Charming.

Mrs. Fiona Charming.

[echoing] Mrs. Fiona Charming.

[knock on door]

Sorry. I hope I'm not

interrupting anything.

No, no. I was just reading a, uh...

a scary book.

I was hoping you'd let me apologize

for my despicable behavior earlier.

- Okay...

- I don't know what came over me.

Do you suppose we could pretend

it never happened and start over...

- Look, Your Majesty, I just...

- Please. Call me Dad.

Dad. We both acted like ogres.

Maybe we just need some time

to get to know each other.

Excellent idea! I was actually hoping

you might join me for a morning hunt.

A little father-son time?

I know it would mean

the world to Fiona.


Shall we say,

: by the old oak?

[birds twitter]

[Shrek] Face it, Donkey!

We're lost.

We can't be lost. We followed

the King's instructions exactly.

"Head to the

darkest part of the woods..."

"Past the sinister trees

with scary-looking branches."

- The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey!

- We passed that three times already!

You were the one who said

not to stop for directions.

Oh, great. My one chance

to fix things up with Fiona's dad

and I end up lost

in the woods with you!

Don't get huffy!

I'm only trying to help.

I know! I know.

- I'm sorry, all right?

- Hey, don't worry about it.