EverTouch said: My arms are quite strong now. I've been playing the piano for quite some time and now I'm able to lift a decent size baby to toddler with my arm stretched out in front of me, rather than flexing upward like usual. This is very big for me, because I've been getting into muscle training.
Right now my arm looks like a sculpted work of art. I'm going to date all the ladies soon. I guarantee it.
Kneku said: I dislike girls in real life because they are disgusting, they poop,fart and their breath is revolting (I'm serious I just don't get how ppl can do such a thing as kissing)
Anti-Illuminatus said: Yeah sometimes I question whether everyone isn't really just bisexual and suppressing the feeling for one of the genders.
you're right I'm barely suppressing my urge to viscously stick my dick in you
Varista said: when i go to concerts i stash shrooms in my anus to sneak it through security
wetdick said: Usually when I try to get noticed by senpai I get questions such as: "Who are you?" , "How did you get here?" , "What are you doing with that knife in your hand?"
tit said: I worked as a janitor for many years in a middle school. Women (or in this case, girls) do poop. Boy do they poop.
Their poop gets everywhere. The toilet seat. The ground. The walls. Once, I shit you not (hah!) I cleaned poop off of the ceiling. It's absolutely disgusting. They're not even 15 years old and barely even 5' tall but already shitting out twice their weight in feces. What do these girls even eat?
I had a crush on this little girl named Lucy. Lucy was 13 years old but looked a little bit older, and had the perfect slender body. She was a good student and was super involved in a ton of clubs. Once after school, at about 4:30PM (school ended at 3), she was finishing up some club and was looking a bit pale. I saw her walking into the women's washroom and thought nothing of it, and continued to mop the hallway. 5 minutes later she comes out, and leaves. Not a glance towards me, with a perfectly neutral look on her face. I walk into the women's washroom hoping maybe to touch the warm seat and maybe smell the seat but what I saw was a genocide. Shit was everywhere. Lucy had explosive diarrhea and couldn't hold it in apparently. It was everywhere, all over the seat, all over the walls. Fucking disgusting.
After that I've never been able to look at a 3D girl in a sexual manner ever again. Anime girls for me please.
McGibletz said: Voting takes too much effort. I have more important things to do, such as masturbating.
khunter said: Helion1, I must say every single post you make is pure gold, and not only is it extremely thoughtful, but also deeply intelligent. You're a comic genius yet a deep intellectual who is able to blend seriousness and humor into a wonderful cocktail. Nothing you post is ever crap, or borders on the spectrum.
Comic_Sans said: I hope this thread gets locked
I hope it doesn't because I still am not done slapping this wannabe Japanese retard [helion1].
Interrrrrpetgyu said: Women are overrated. Just stick your willy wonka in a guy's chocolate factory.
MortalMelancholy said: What do you use as a drunk performance test?
McGibletz said: I let them drive my car and see if they can control it or not.
PoeticJustice said: I had a weird dream last night.
I was in the bathroom, pissing in the bathroom when this janitor touched my butthole. I turned around and heard some song from metal gear solid and then I used my cqc to interrogate him. I threw him in the urinal and shot him a couple of time in the head.
tit said: Be careful of online girlfriends. I was once in your shoes, just a lonely 39 year old man with nothing to live for in his life, and the most I've talked to girls was asking my classmate if she likes chocolate so I could buy her something for Valentine's day (she laughed in my face and told me to take a shower). I became more and more shy and eventually just spent all my free time frequenting Yahoo chat rooms. I met an amazing girl, she called herself Lucy and was the perfect juicy age of 15. We started talking everyday and she agreed to be my girlfriend. Two weeks later, when everything was going swimmingly, she broke down and started crying during a phone call. She admitted her name was actually Debbie and she was a 42 year old with a high pitched voice. I still accepted her. However, she then admitted she was searching for the most sad, and desperate man on the internet so she could blackmail him after obtaining nudes and threatening to send them to friends and family. I sent her some racy stuff, just normal things like bologna in my asshole/posing with Lucy (my sex doll, not the internet gf) and licking her face, like I said, normal stuff. She said her plan failed because there was absolutely no one who cared about me, and that I was a fat waste of space.
Don't trust women.
Uhio said: I like hugs from actual grown adult bears so they can rip my simple, weak body to shreds and rid me of this pathetic life I live
AncientLoliGod said: I fapped into a chocolate eclair after watching american pie. Afterwards I placed it to one side and went to get a drink only to come back and find it was gone. I later found out that my sister ate it.
TL:DR I jizzed into a sweet and my sister ate it
NudeBear said: We've already accepted the idea that it's possible to be completely gay/lesbian but the thought of being completely straight bewilders some people so much that they go through the trouble of convincing others that everyone is bisexual...
Red_Keys said: The more you deny it the more apparent it becomes.
Like frantically trying to eliminate a marking from your paper with an eraser that just spreads it deeper into the paper, wider and blacker.
What an atrocious and baseless line of thought. I guess I must also secretly like the idea of getting fucked by a horse even after vehemently expressing my lack of attraction towards them, right?
According to that logic you are trying to rub out the horse penis but it spreads deeper into your asshole.
Coolspot said: Honestly a lot of the MAL users aren't that bad, they just aren't on MAL much.
Interrrrrpetgyu said: well hetero incest is only stigmatized because of the potential for deformed mutant offspring
so just stick it in her ass and you'll be fine
Okazaki93 said: I drink 2 or 3 nights a week so not too much but the nights I do drink are quality
Here are the stats:
Avg # of beers: 17
Avg # of beer pong games won: All
Percentage of pussy slayed: 100%
Percentage of pussy being a wingman: 100%
ModeratelyHuman said: I pour my own liquid shit down my urethra and jizz it all over the sleeping forms of children I was paid to babysit. When their parents get home they notice how nasty their kids smell so they take them to the bathroom to shower, where I rigged up hidden cameras to videotape it all. I then sell these videos to pedophiles over the Internet.
ModeratelyHuman said: Yes and you're also homophobic for not being aroused by gay porn.
newport100s said: I'm a serious cigarette addict and I stroke my dick regularly while smoking newport 100s what ciggarrettes do you stroke your dick too? I'm so addicted to ciggarretes that when I run out, I get a trash bag and go to every convience store,hospital,police station, and business in town and unload the ash trays into my garbage bag.
Interrrrrpetgyu said: No, marijuana will kill you. I only smoke meth.
Elegade said: Depending on the country and state, you can either gate fined or jailed for watching on Kissanime. I know in my state California, there is a 2 year jail sentence with a fine of up to $10,000, with 5000 hours of community service.
In Germany, there is an upward fine of 30,000 euros with a 5-10 year ban on the internet if they ever catch you watching on such illegal sites. I had a friend who was taken to jail when we were in class, and he was interrogated for 48 hours straight. He had to take a plea deal of a year in prison and 5 years of probation with limited access to the internet. They take that shit very seriously in America.
Trance said: Body odor is fucking sexy from up close. I love smelling girls from up close. I just walk up behind them, get very close, drop something, and then smell their butt. It's just... beautiful.
AA5x4 said: Hi Guys, let me tell you a quick story = I have a dark past, I used to be a porn addict in High School until a friend of mine introduced me to anime. My first anime is Code Geass = TO MAKE IT SHORT, my porn addiction was replaced by ANIME addiction
But it is a VERY difficult experience, before, everytime I see an anime gal that is hot and sexy, I'm easily aroused but I quickly look to an image of Jesus or look at the rosary [I'm a Catholic] and it strengthens my faith. Now, a sexy anime gal is just ordinary to me
I'm porn-free for 3 and a half years now :)
My 3 tips: Talk to a counselor or a family member or a friend to whom you can trust, avoid private-browsing in your PC and combined PRAYER AND SOUL-SEARCHING :)
Chikaji said: i, personally, would gladly be fisted by every single strong female character until my asshole explodes, permanently rendering me into a coma
Nibs- said: A Cock on Titan
Due to the fact that Eren is a human who transforms into a Titan, he also possesses a Titan dong. While in Titan form, he satisfies the other titans into submission by pillaging their only orifice of disire - The asshole.
He is also a Cock Shifter, meaning he posses the power to make his cock Titan Sized at will when in human form and it is worshiped by all of the females in the land. It is also used for bludgeoning and brings veiny throbbing death to his human adversaries.
Annie, who is a female with the ability to turn into a Titan, loves to sexy fart all over Eren's face. This makes Eren rock hard frequently, because girls farting is so hot.
Let me know your popular anime turned porn scenarios, please!
ArmodThoroddsson said: Today we were kissing and suddenly she farted very loud and it smelled awful , have never been in this situation b4 .
I haven't talken to her in about 2 days. Should I just end it with her?
Does your girlfriend fart in front of you?
shotz said: i like fujoshit. see since i used it in a positive context it's not baiting.
wtf, you're clearly a male. How can you just simply like two sweaty bois rubbing each other? Go away and watch something moe like Umaru and Blend S. Degenerates like you don't understand how deep the story in Free is. By diving into water, they're diving into their personality and they literally become FLUID. I am not even kidding, Makoto's back muscles supports the whole anime industry. While you toddlers suck on some pedophilic moe moans, my sexy bois are the lifeline of this industry. You're a pig.
Faelandaea said: Being secure in sexual preferences can have its advantages. As a result, I have no homophobia. And being that comfortable came to quite the advantage during a wonderful breakup.
She had this huge fantasy of seeing me with another guy all throughout our relationship. I said "no" every time. Then I caught her cheating and immediately broke it off. When she came to pick up some of her stuff at my place, I had a friend over who happened to be gay. I trust him and I know he knows my boundaries. When she told me she was on her way over, he told me, "Whatever I do to you, it's only to fuck with her and not to hit on you. Okay?" I went with it.
So she knocks on the door, and as I answer, he runs down the stairs in pretty much a bathrobe and throws his arms around me, saying "Oh my gods, is that the pizza?" She lost all color ... but we weren't through yet. As she grabbed her stuff, mouth on floor in awe, he and I sat on the couch and he laid his head on my shoulder as we watched a movie.
The next day she phoned me and asked wtf that was all about that night. I told her the only thing I could think of ... "Sorry, you turned me off to women. If other women out there are like you, then I don't need that drama." We haven't spoken since. Hee hee.
To this day, my gay friend and I still chuckle every time we talk about that day. He knows I am straight and he respects that, and I know he is gay and I respect that. And as a result of two great friends being able to communicate and be honest, we had some great times making other people feel awkward when they annoyed the crap out of us.
johndoe995 said: I only get food orgasm when im in bukake as main character or when i have a little baby brain for breakfast so NO, i am not a weirdo. Now add me to your wall of fame fagg.