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rtys8 Oct 11, 8:26 AM
I still find that i want to go back to cheap thrills like Dota.

Somehow this has me thinking about the issue in a new light. It's not just that's there's too much junk.....It's really that the good stuff.....isnt so good as it used to be or as it looks?

It's saying something when the only thing i consider to be great is West of Loathing this few years.
How to put it? Right now, Deus Ex, like many other of the games ive played, gives this feeling.

West of Loathing was the only game out of all these years since 2014,this generation,to making me feel my time was well spent in a satisfying manner.
There were some goods,i am grateful,but the harvest and the outlook this time is dissapointing.

I understand maybe i might be putting too much thought into it,'s too strange.
I can't seem to replicate the healthy casual interest i have for my local tv here with PC gaming nowadays.
It's ether at around several extremes. Ether Indifference uncaringly dropping it later,Too addictively absorbing and commitment or somewhere in between that isnt clearly defined.

Deus Ex isn't on the addictively absorbing end,but the feeling i have for it feels too little for me to want to focus on it like i did with West of Loathing?
Monster Hunter World on hindsight,while i did get my value for money, did not feel satisfying at the end.

A scenario where i know everything roughly about the game i have good enough control how it will play out,yet knowing everything will not dimmish the experience at all.
An oxymoron of wanting a surprise despite knowing already before what it pretty much will be.

Towards that end, do i even want the Hype of a Surprise? Definitely Not required that much for me to feel satisfied.
Because i am tired of trying to weed out the chaff from entertainment and spending time,money and effort that i dont necessarily need to if i just decided to wait it out till All the Hype and Politics are Over.

But this Hanging Back Patiently method has huge problems.Two i did not forsee. One of which is a Title Drought In Spite of Waiting out the Hype.
The other would be.....i have to Hide Somewhere in the Interim,which led me to unsavory places and wasting time on cheap thrills.

But what other options were there?
It's just way too hard to find PC games that i actually love to play.
rtys8 Oct 7, 10:06 AM
Hmm, bought the 2 new Deux Ex games for $7.

According to my theory of the trinity of Adversarial,Deduction and Creative, i feel the best scenario is having 3 games that are vastly different from each other in this sense.

Adversarial - I want a challenge/to explore.
Deduction - I want to solve something.
Creative -I want to express/create something.

I feel my desire for Excitement can only be properly quelled with a proper Adversarial game made for it. Dota 2 is just a temporary placeholder at best.
I considered Monster Hunter World,but it's just too rigged and as usual, japanese in the sense i cannot fully control it.

Just like how Supreme with Cheese was the placeholder for Deduction. Now with Deus Ex games for my Deduction desires, i dont feel i need it.
Creative has PC Building Simulator now,but i just dont feel like creating stuff right now as long i still dont have a proper Adversarial game.

See now? There's seriously a lack of variety and ease of finding games i want to play nowadays. I cannot say with confidence i can always find something whenever i want,at the time and price i want it and without strings attached. It's too complicated.

Of course, i am thinking whether i can suppress the desire for Excitement/Adversarial by juggling Deus Ex games with PC Building Simulator.Lets hope it works,so i can not need to worry for a long while,since it doesnt look like i cant easily find what i want out of games nowadays.
Why is it that things in PC games seem so abundant compared to before, yet so hard to find something i like now?
rtys8 Oct 4, 9:09 PM
Fine, maybe i can put the desire for some excitement down as long i get it eventually. It's not like the game industry is actually dead,so i'll get it eventually.

However.....lets look back on why i then take up such temporary measure games in spite of knowing their potential costs and harm.
Is it that i want to waste time away so badly, or is it that i want to do something else to deal with boredom? Relaxation was too unspecific a word.

It boils down to ether Excitement or Contrast.

Ideally, i would have not even need to go low in the first place. But reality ensures. Eventually i will have to go low because i can't constantly keep up in hardware.

But...........what if i dont have to need such things for Relaxation, if all i wanted if just a Contrast from the till and toil in life? I could do something else entirely.
rtys8 Oct 3, 11:21 AM
How long has it been? A year and now i am free and have atoned of for that stuff.

Now, back on the whole lack of AAA PC games issue that forced me to go so low into gambling in these mobages.

1.It's not me being too jaded.

I know what jaded is from what i feel about anime/manga/LN/VNs/Toku.
It is that feeling when you have seen them all and i dont have that.I am still interested. I still look forward to something worth delving into. The drive is still there. I am not satisfied yet. For the past year,i have been craving for a new freshly released AAA title on the PC i could buy and enjoy satisfyingly without fear of being scammed by politics.

For the past 4 years, i had to go so low because for some reason since 2014,it was ridiculously difficult to just find anything AAA on PC worth playing.

If i were to compare it to movies, just imagine there being nothing at all worth watching for an entire year.
Yes, i am aware entertainment is a luxury. But i had the finances and time for it. So why isnt there supply for my demands?

I investigated all these years while i had to lay low and i still dont seem to understand.
It's one thing to expect too much like a new Star Wars,DCcomics or MCU once every few months to a year.
It's another to not have other studios putting out something within the big boys downtime.

I am very satisfied with waiting out until the next installment of the big studios. But of course,certainly in the years where they are in downtime,there should be something from the small-medium studios that's worth my attention?

But why does nothing out there seem to catch my attention despite being claims of there being more games than in the past?

Lets see what i see now in PC space:
A.Too low teched graphics
B.Unfinished or Dead Ended
C:Uninspired Story
D:Uninnovative Gameplay
E:Early Access/Pre order/Season Pass/DLC/Microstransaction/Poor PC port/Gaming politics
F:Specially made clunky difficult Nintendo Hard trolling Gameplay

It suddenly becomes ridiculously difficult to find anything i deem worthy of my time. And all i wanted was some excitement like once every few months,like how i do for movies.I dont need a movie every month.

What pisses me off that i dont have much clues to what the games companies are doing now.
I can rest assured that Disney/Universal studios are working hard on further installments or new movies from other smaller studios to fill up the gaps inbetween.

Japanese game companies like Square Enix,Nintendo,Sony,Capcom,Bandai Namco and Sega are supposed to a wildcard,not the staple norm.

Bethesda is the only one i can follow to any clear degree that still makes the type of games i want.
EA is making tons of scummy garbage.
Activision Blizzard is what? Just Overwatch? Destiny? Those treadmill competitive scam games?
Ubisoft may be coming back to life regarding Assassin's Creed, i'll give it that,but that game series for me had no point once there wasnt much of main plot.

Lets just face it,the very fact i had to do such further in depth investigations is proof enough it's ridiculously difficult for me to "find a movie worth watching to satisfy my quarterly cravings."

2. It is not a dependency,thus not an addiction.

In a nutshell.....where's have all "Star Wars and MCU films" of the game industry gone? Was Mass Effect the last of the epics?
All i wanted was like a quarterly/half yearly excitement and it's been missing since 2014 in PC gaming. If i wanted to watch a playthrough, i would have. I do not desire passive watching. I want action and engagement.The feeling of progress.

3.Should have just bought a PS4 and just be done with it from the very start at 2014.

I just wish i knew that PS4 was going to be the winner of the console war.
But i had just came out of although somewhat decent experience of my XBOX360, i did not want to have to repeat the disadvantages of gaming on a console again.
PC is where i can still control the reliability of my machine. I was very lucky that my XBOX360 broke down just nicely in time as Windows 7 was out back then.
But i can't be certain it would have been able to last as long as i want it for.
Sending a console machine for inevitable repairs usually takes a while and that would defeat the purpose of having it in the first place. I can't have full leisure as when i want if my machine's reliability is under the manufacturer's control.

I should really give thanks and be grateful for my current GTX 970 pc which is still managing well until thus far.Even if it breaks down, i can repair or replace it easier than a console machine.

rtys8 Sep 6, 2017 8:20 PM
.....Alright, the whole me being rushed and not thinking as rationally as i could in FGO is a somewhat sign i am actually not in that much of a mood to really play the game.....Or, it's actually losing it's effect on me.Or it's a sign of just how sick i am of dealing with this psychological warfare.

Still grateful ultimately that i managed to salvage an SSR out of the seemingly reckless gamble here.Thank God, i actually might not need to even want to roll even a random guaranteed gacha,with almost all but two of the main classes i have

However, in return, i effectively more or less forfeit anymore new lucrative SSRs for at least the next few months.

In some sense, i am kind of tired out of constantly playing this game of psychological warfare. I just didn't want to bother about gacha matters again for a very very long time.

It's not the smart thing to do in the game, but it's at least the right thing to do for myself.

Does that mean actually i am not that satisfied with getting what i want? No.

Frankly, this is the borderline limit of the nature of a stopgap game is and i have to come to terms with it.

Because it's meant to make money and not truly for fun.
Thus, the only logical way i could ever get the fun out of such a scam of a game was that i never truly wanted to take it that seriously to begin with.
The only reason why i play it to begin with was that it was very effective as a time waster to begin with, when i have nothing on the PC, or no time to be on the pc.

That was how it always had been and was for me.
Simply a pastime, of a pastime.A Substitute.

It's kind of a sad thing that i could not get free time or have the games i want to play on the pc,be it back then, or now.

In some sense, i still feel i should thank god for this, though. I now understand.....Kancolle, wasn't the huge betrayal to our ideals as a gamer as i believed it to be.

It was just really due to circumstances that i ended up with such lower grades of games.
Yes, maybe i could have not wasted so much money and time more than i calculated on it,but, maybe it's simply needed in the big scheme of things ahead in a sense i dont understand yet. still a fact that the gaming industry is still in a downfall, a bubble that has to burst. While i would now want to spend more time on the PC,with an actual backlog of games to play now compared to how it was with Kancolle, but the amount of time i have on it compared to then is much lesser.

I still need it to hold me out until it sorts out it's kinks so that things arent a mess now.
Playing the psychological mind game with mainstream gaming against the now scummy business models of games today never actually worked out for me.

Compared to what's in a mobage, that's the worser thing. Ether i have something to play,or totally nothing at all.
In F/GO, now, at the very worse, i dont get what i want from the gacha, i still have something to play through the days.
While it would be nice to get servants i want, i'm not that dependent on it now.

I estimate around 2-5 years for things to get better.
If it still doesnt work out by then,new plan.
rtys8 Sep 6, 2017 10:08 AM
I.....made the sort of unwise choice spending the remaining savings on the latest Nero fest redux gacha, when i no longer actually need to anymore for the rest of my time in the game.

Was it a good spending or not? Maybe,maybe not.

What was clear is that,like the CCC gacha for Kiara back then....i had reached a certain threshold. I just didn't want to play the whole psychological mindgame with the game's design any longer and actually make the game work for me.
It's not so simple as a lack of restraint.
Remember that this is a stopgap activity i never truly intended to take 100% seriously, even with my gaming persona on.
It's only meant for those moments where and when i cannot for whatsoever reason be on the real games on my pc.

Right now, as it is.....i lack the time, the chance to be able to consume the games i actually want.
But unlike my bad friend there in Kancolle....i have no intention of actually letting my experience be wasted time in paranoia and useless waiting.

Same here. Perhaps it's a cycle, somewhat.
But i'll like to think of it this way. God has finally graced me with the final SSR i would need to comfortably enjoy the rest of my days in this game with.
It would be rude of me not to repay those gains and gifts with appreciation.

Maybe back then it wasn't applicable with Kancolle,or things simply had escalated too far by that point, which also was dependent on the game's intention.
Yes, this is the true redemption of myself of what i should have done in Kancolle.
I should savor my victories and free myself of all obligations,especially after a long tiring battle.

Find fun and joy, even in these kinds of games. I fought long and hard and finally won. I deserve a pat on the back.
rtys8 Sep 2, 2017 9:22 AM
I broke my said threshold of 300 quartz, however......I WON. Finally, i am free from truly needing to roll anything in the gacha at all.
From now on, FGO gacha no longer truly needs to be stressed over anymore for me..

141 quartz left.Of course, i still hope i get Semiramis if she does come to the game.
rtys8 Sep 2, 2017 7:45 AM
Alright, I am grateful, despite my loss against the super tough Rider enemy Gugalanna, that, i managed to beat Agartha,that i didn't need a 5* Assassin to beat, after all.

For that, i am truly grateful and confidence restored.
However, that does not mean the my Assassins being weak problem has vanished. I hate to admit it,but it is still a fact i have literally only 1 Gold Assassin.

This time, however, i am just content to try at the so called bait class-based summoning campaign a few times.
Ether to solve the Silver Assassin who i have not yet NP5, it's an opportunity i wont really have until god knows when.
I know, it's a risk, essentially,but i have sensibly projected what could possibly happen in the near future after this.

September 6/13 to 19/26? -EOR 3?/New Event?/Strengthening?/Other Campaign?/Hallmark?
September 26? to October 11? -Nerolympics?
October 12? to 19? Halloween 2016 rerun?
October 19? to 2 November Halloween 2017

At the very least, i do not see myself being able to do much of summoning within the next two months,save this time and possibly the Halloween 2016 rerun?
Even then, between this Class based and the Halloween 2016 one, it's more productive to roll for the current class based one,cause even the waste products are arguably more beneficial to me than the Halloween 2016 waste products because of the class filter, at least.

I might try for Halloween 2016,but, probably not as much as this. Cleopatra showed me the first time we met, we probably arent fated to be actually.
Pretty much, my threshold is always back to 300 quartz until the fated one i deemed 100% worth rolling everything for.
Currently, 383 quartz and 29 tickets.

As much as i want to ignore this, it's still a fact that i need to try to resolve the weak Assassin issue in any way i can, at least sensibly. Because of the fact the odds of the gacha in general, that no matter how much the number of resources poured at it, it could end up all meaningless......

It was a choice between one huge potential disappointment, or splitting that potential pain in bursts. The longer the build up, the more painful the potential disappointment if the gamble fails.
I may well do it for my own sake of protecting my own mental health. After all,if i am truly fated to have it, something this small wouldn't actually truly matter.
rtys8 Aug 31, 2017 12:01 PM
Hey, this is the new place where i settle my mobage life.

Looking at how long things have been, nostalgic,isnt it?
Currently playing FGO.
Hoping to solve the last of my in game needs of gold Assassins, but as of now, given the state of the game,Assassin class servants are in a horrible state, given the is only one unlimited 5* Assassin as of this time.

So, unfortunately, while i would want to roll for the class gacha that's running about now, it doesn't make sense to do now, compared to the last time i did it.
I am depleted in terms of QP in spite of restocking materials,even if i had the 5* Assassin, i would not have the resources to raise him/her now.
Also, back then, my roster was pathetically small. Now it's different.

I know that i just got pretty much stomped by Gugalanna, the worst nightmarish Rider foe ive ever seen,which i had to waste a Quartz to beat him.
No matter how i saw it, i was not in the state to be able to beat that, in game or mentally. I know pretty much in some sense i need one. But the time just doesn't look right yet.

The new arrival SSR i just got presumably to resist situations like these arguably isn't ready yet for those kinds of battles. It just wasn't something i can win against without costing myself yet.

As much as it looks tempting to roll on that class gacha, it just doesn't seem like that's the solution to the problem,not with all those other Extra Classes clustered together with it. I need something more specific.

But honestly, i dont know when the right time is. But if my hunch,going by the sign of the new arrival SSR,i must wait until the time is truly right.
I can roll for Class Gacha anytime, they pop up rather uncommonly,they will be run every now and then for fillers.
5* Assassins that aren't limited, however....are the harder part. Unlike my old friend, i have no intention of letting this issue drag down the entire experience of my gameplay here.

This is a problem nothing but a specific time and solution can solve, not a general one. I can't do shit about it now, that's what i know.
I only pray that choosing to avoid the class gacha this time is the right choice.
It may be a long wait, given it very likely as usual the new story chapter SSRs dont affect me as long they are non Assassins,thus it would be a long while before i get any opportunity to roll again. As much as i want to relieve myself.....there's not that much an opportunity to for this specific issue.
HowTragic Feb 26, 2016 8:58 AM
Nah I have to. I can choose to quit, but I can't keep playing and get worse lol. Winter 2015 event was the pinnacle of my career, brandishing the First-class medal like a boss, back then when there was only 1 and it showed brazenly on the rankings screen compared to the gaping, empty hole besides other players. None of that small number shit that they do now with subsequent medals.

Besides idrgaf about abukuma in the least. In fact I thought it was kinda fucking hilarious that I clutched E3 Hard by losing a ship and ended with 0 fuel (actually less, since I couldn't refuel all my ships). Maybe losing a ship finally kicked the torpedo lesbians off their period, because it's the first time they actually did something this event.

This game is a lot more fun when you stop caring and just what you feel like. The truth of the matter is that any online game (especially a flash game like this that's on the verge of having support pulled on major browsers) have an expiration period, and our goal should be to get the most enjoyment out of it before it goes under. I was personally prepared to quit, and will have to eventually as I move to clinical clerkships, but given the surprise I got from that last run it might be worth it to continue playing a bit more.
HowTragic Feb 25, 2016 7:24 PM
First E3 last dance attempt ended with thirsty torpedo lesbian #2 (Ooi) leaving CA Hime with 1 HP. Thirsty torpedo lesbian #1 (KTKM) obviously decides to choose the wrong target: God this is why I'm so skeptical of sexually confused lesbians talking about how hard torpedoes are.

That was over a week ago. This then began the subsequent shitstorm that was all my returded ships never cutting in, never hitting shit and always getting hit. (It's actually pretty hilarious. Have you ever seen ships get owned THIS badly? Fucking can-of-whoopass straight down the line man. 艦豚のM調教は順調だ:

After 30 runs or so, I was pretty much out of resources and I didn't feel like wasting precious time sparkling in the wake of immunopathology exam tomorrow, so I was quitting this game with a bang on my last run. Gonna start sinking my ships, and then scrap the rest, last one being my level 133 waifu daijoubu-chan (aka everybody'scocksucker9000, I mean cmon how many japanese cocks has she taken into her orifices in the history of this game?), leaving the message "はい,深海棲艦に降服する” as I close kancolle forever. Abukuma's a fucking annoying little shit always telling everyone to listen to her so let's start with her: Lol git rekt hoe.

And then this happens I was like wtf?

but poor abubear is still abudead. lolololol

If you were wondering how much resources I had left after this:

so in summary TLDR:

HowTragic Feb 16, 2016 3:49 PM
I'm taking it easy this time around, and only just got around to E3.

First time through Node L and this dropped:
HowTragic Jan 22, 2016 8:41 AM
Lol i haven't logged in since the last event. But this comment reminded me so I just logged in a couple of seconds ago. guess I'll just wing it and see how it goes, not that I particularly care anymore. it was nice that I didn't get any (useful) ships last event meaning I don't have to waste any time training ships.

though I did order kan colle kai for vita, and it's finally releasing feb 18 after 5 delays from the initial fall 2014 release date. But it's less than a month before release date and they haven't even released a legitmate gameplay video yet so expectations are 微妙~
HowTragic Nov 24, 2015 2:03 PM
My advice is quit if you absolutely don't get any enjoyment from any aspect of the game. Don't quit just because one or two lil' shits didn't drop during the event, though I understand the feeling of shelling out more effort yet still being "one step behind" others who have, let's say, a CV that can attack at night. It seems to me that you still enjoy the game considerably, so it would be a shame if you purged that sensation for one or two ships that in retrospect probably didn't change the game's balance in any significant way. Most of the ships nowadays are just "look at my e-pen0r" ones, not imperative ones that convey substantial advantages such as the Yamatos.

HowTragic Nov 23, 2015 10:28 PM
Dude I feel you completely. I blew my entire resource stock last event farming for Mizuho, down to the point I couldn't refuel destroyers, and had my buckets down to the single digits while balancing an ass-tight exam barrage for that ~3% chance. This noob gets it on easy, that asswipe gets it on Hard. I get jack shit. My "Rule of 5": any probability of something bad happening is always multiplied by 5 before being applied to me. Any chance of something good happening always gets divided by 5.

What's even more disconcerting are the tenacious cocksuckers online that literally gets everything on their first try, must have stuffed a bunch of rabbit foots up their asses or something- Graf Zeppelin "on their first try", or they farmed E3 for mizuho on easy then cleared E3 on hard on the same day, making it seem like it's the easiest thing in the bloody world to get the creepy, skinnyass ship to drop. Yeah I'm pretty damn salty, but I'll be a board-certified drug dealer in a couple of years, so nothing a couple of pills can't take care of. Mizuho's drop rate is 0.86% for fall E3 according to kancolle-db. If I had to farm for Mizuho, I shit you not, the game would have gone through its entire commercial life, and shut down its servers before I'd get the lil' skank to drop. I've pretty much made my peace with that reality - it's like LSC all over again. And when I think about how long it took me to get my ships.. meh who cares anymore.

Just hang in there. It sucks if you invest a lot of time, effort and attachment into the game and just can't seems to get anything to go your way, then having to feel like shit when all the undeserving plebs wave around their new ships gotten from haxed rates through minimal effort, but everything gets better once the apathy kicks in. Suddenly everything is a get something-cool, fail something-whatever deal. When I play now (and I did get around to that after passing a barrage of exams) I just kinda just wing it. Ship gets hit to red? who cares -> advance. Lose a couple of ships, sit down and pop open a bottle of ice wine and have a hearty laugh. Two can play a game of apathy.