I give you gentlemen permission to address me as drivel. To say the least, my crystal intelligence substantially surpasses that of the average person. Blessed, yet cursed, with savant syndrome, I gained distinction as a cello prodigy in my close-knit Vienna village when I was a mere eight years of age. I attended Princeton University at the age of twelve, and received my three Ph.D degrees eight years later. However, I soon came to scorn academia for reasons I would rather not touch upon.
I spent the next fifty years reading a wide array of foreign literature (The Aeneid, Doctrine of the Mean, et cetera) at a lovely local noshery. Their sumptuous pastries and their sweetened versions of Twinings Tea have made me quite callipygian if I do say so myself. I met an ebullient young woman at this noshery, the woman who would become my wife. Oh, how perfect she was! Pulchritudinous, excogitative, and witty, she made me quite the braggart! Unfortunately, she was stricken with testicular cancer and perished at the age of 38. The years after her death, I became a “cold” man, and closed my heart off to everyone.
Two years ago, however, I discovered Japanese animation. I was enamored once again, this time with something I could not possibly penetrate with my phallus. I was transfixed to say the least. I soon found myself watching an endless number of shows about homoerotic men, concupiscent young women, and insouciant young men with unrealistic aspirations.
As for my taste in Japanese animation, I enjoy watching anything eccentric. The more obscure, the more unknown, the better the series is. I detest mainstream series and approach them with the utmost animosity. Hopefully I never become so blasé that I would actually watch one. Call me a pompous and ostentatious “elitist” if you will. I am a sophisticated gentleman, and I enjoy sophisticated animation that the majority of you do not have the mental capacity to appreciate.