Several times I've been asked about why I use the profile picture that I have and/or what my name refers to. The answer is multifaceted, and it's a bit more of an ordeal to answer than "I think x character is cool" or whatever the explanation is that most people have for their profile picture, so this is my longwinded essay about the why of it all.
The profile picture:
It's a drawing of an alien called Lam. It was drawn by the infamous occultist Aleister Crowley, and it was first published in 1919. According to Crowley, Lam is a Tibetan word for way or path, and it has connections to Buddhism. I don't care about that. Crowley, who was probably high out of his mind at the time, claimed to have seen this critter when he drew it.
What interests me about this image is how similar it looks to the stereotypical grey alien before that became a pop culture sensation. The only real difference being the much smaller and more human-like eyes, as opposed to the big black orbs. In fact, aliens were born out of the occult—notably through theosophy—before any normal person claimed to see one. Theosophists placed a special value upon various planets in the solar system, and many of them would claim to commune with aliens. Quite a number of these fake totally real encounters had the subject referring to the "alien" as an "aryan" or some other very human-like description. There were some more "exotic" alien descriptions that didn't resemble humans too much in some cases.
Anyway, the "sightings," eventually would solidify into the grey aliens we so often hear about today. If you dig into commentary from alien fanatics online, you can find speculation about other alien races, and alleged sightings do vary to some degree, though. What fascinated me about Lam is that it constitutes a kind of "missing link" between the "aryan" aliens and the grey aliens. My interest in alien/UFO history is part of why I chose to use this image.
My name:
Gsarthotegga is pronounced as sar | thought | tay | ga, I guess—whatever, who cares? The name comes from the author Clark Ashton Smith, who was part of Lovecraft's circle of friends, and while he penned many poems and also would draw and paint, he was mostly know for sci-fi, fantasy, and horror short stories that he submitted to pulp magazines. Gsarthotegga is also known as Vulthoom (please, ignore the garbage artwork on this page). The story Vulthoom can be read here. Vulthoom is presented as a deity or god, but it's also very clearly a space alien.
The name and profile picture in unison:
Okay, if you've looked at many profile pictures on here, then I don't need to tell you that most of them are of high school girls from anime. Then you have a few people who have black and white pictures of Stalin or whatever...
I have controversial views on anime (and everything else, to be honest) that often clash with other MALists, and I don't ever try to tone these opposing views down or carefully choose shows where I'll have a positive reaction. Don't care, and I gladly invite these Animefan Crybaby responses I so often receive. I've embraced that "alienation" by choosing an image and name that both correspond to fictitious aliens. I wanted a long, unwieldy, even enigmatic name. One that users might not remember or will be left to wonder about the origin of, but it stands out like a sore thumb when they see it. The picture synergizes with the name well, while also being kind of creepy and funny at the same time. It's also very memorable on a website that has a predictable pattern when it comes to profile pictures.
Perhaps it's counter-productive to choose a profile picture and name that was partially intended to mystify, but then to demystify the pair by explaining away everything, yet most people won't read this in the first place, and now I'll have something to point to when asked, instead of having to type up an answer every time.
Scores and what peons on MAL think about art doesn't matter. Like, get this, because it's pretty important: It's the art that matters. Is that revolutionary enough for you? Remember, it's not an IQ test to score your anime, retard. Before you dissect a frog, you should know what you're actually doing, and the same goes for passing judgment on my favorite anime.
Let this broken vase sink in. It's just a broken vase, you say? That light contorting and refracting has a certain awe to it that you can't experience otherwise, but you probably didn't realize that. Well, I did. Think of the symbology and how it's, like, conceptual, man. Makes me feel like Epicurus or something just thinking about it. This vase looks more beautiful than an intact one that you'd purchase at Walmart. Just like how men need to man up and learn to appreciate used-up old women, you need to accept this broken vase into your heart to understand it. I'm an aesthete, seeing beyond the surface, while you're like, "shit's broken," sweeping it into a dustpan! You might have thrown away a million dollars if the CIA could have gotten ahold of it for money laundering. You have no vision, stuffing everything into pigeonholes and whatever other holes that might strike your fancy. Who are you to baselessly dismiss this art? You got up in the vase's feng shui and tried to make it yours, insisting upon yourself because of your presuppositions, missing the point of expression altogether. Worst of all, you attempt to dismiss rather than to understand. That's right: You're a dismisser; whereas I'm an understander.
Oh, yeah, and just in case you're not enlightened enough to get it because you haven't taken as many yoga classes at the local mall as me, I also rate anime, and my ratings are explained below, so check them out.
What's that? I don't even have a ratings section on here, you say? Why should I have to prove anything to you when we live in an incredible world where Congo the Chimpanzee was making better art than you?
Wow, look at this wonderful painting! Abstract expressionism is serious business and not monkeying around at all!
In case you're too plebeian to understand the deep meaning of this painting, then remember, repeat, and all will be clear: Everything around the image is part of its meaning. Its uniqueness is part of the uniqueness of the single place where it is. Everything around it confirms and consolidates its meaning.
I think there is a resurgence of anti-elitism because at this point in time MAL has not yet learned how to be elitist. And I think we are going to be part of the throes of that transformation, which must take place. MAL is not going to be the tourist trap it once was in the last decade. Elitists are going to be at the center of that. It’s a huge transformation for MAL to make. They are now going into an anti-elitist mode and elitists will be resented because of our leading role. But without that leading role and without that transformation, MAL will not survive.
My man, ThatAnimeSnob 2.0, also known by the totally ironic moniker rorikonfan, giving a dope-ass take on Usagi Drop, his words flowing like a cakewalk with sprinkles and sugar on a rainbow slide!:
Before I twirl into the whimsical whirlpool of thoughts, let’s sprinkle some glitter on the fact that I’m indifferent to slice of life serenades. They’re like marshmallows on a gloomy day—fluffy but not filling. Moeblobs, however, frolic miles ahead in the absurdity race. So here I am, plopping down to watch this anime because it pirouetted into the top ten on every cosmic billboard within weeks. I pondered, "How in the cotton candy clouds did this happen? It’s just another stroll through mundane-ville!"
Peeking at the plot reveals a sprinkle of nothingness. A dude unearths that his grandpa played the parent role late in the game and decides to nurture the sprout after the old sage hops off this merry-go-round. So, what’s all the chitter-chatter about? Whispers suggest it’s got a weird twist at the manga’s climax (not spilling the jelly beans—spoiler alert!), or perhaps it blooms feelings like a garden of emotions. But honestly, the storyline feels as thin as a crepe, characters are cookie-cutter cutouts, and the ending flutters away like a butterfly into the void, so my eyes aren’t glued to a masterpiece through an objective kaleidoscope.
Yet, I must admit, the presentation dances on a tightrope of finesse. It captures the essence of the ordinary with a sprinkle of magic stardust. I remember a whimsy-tastic anime from ages ago called Chocotto Sister—where ludicrousness reigned supreme! With everything from snuggly lolicons to Santa handing out nudie gift wrap to unsuspecting teens; it had a slice of life vibe but quickly tumbled into silliness, wrapped in a lame production bow that faded into forgetfulness.
Usagi Drop prances through a dreamy garden of subtly woven artsy whimsy. The visuals leap like pastel kittens, each character a dancing firefly that beckons eyes to twirl. The voice acting hums just right, never sailing over the top into the land of drama llamas. Each character behaves with a sprinkle of sense; no hopping teens with angst grenades in sight here! The hero juggles work like a circus clown, while a wistful girl seeks her treasure map to joy. This slice of life, so rare among the anime trees, sparkles like a unicorn at tea time. Most shows skedaddle past the ordinary, gift characters with sparkle coins, and toss them into school sagas that turn into accidental nudity rodeos. And remember how ‘grown-up’ parenting traipsed around in Astarotte no Omocha?
Usagi Drop sidesteps that and serves a delectable dish of realism, pouring out the bittersweet recipe of caring for a dreamy child in a world of grown-up grumbles. It reveals the sacrifices, spun with threads of sadness, and let's not kid ourselves—it can be tough for realism-dodgers, who make up around 99.98% of the whimsical media land. Heck, I juggle with realism too! Yet enchanting as it dances, this show is grounded more than any other I've snuggled with in parenthood tales. Many swear by the second season of Clannad, calling it realistic, yet its finale shouts fairy tale escape—a wishful mirage! Then there's Kurenai, where a young lad spins tales of tending to a gloomy girl, sprinkled with action sprinkles, swirling dementia, and even love’s taboo dance. Was it grander than Usagi Drop because of these? Nope, not at all!
Now hold your spaghetti horses, I’m not making a grand statue of realism here! Sure, the storytelling has its wobbly jellybeans. Like, poof! Daikichi scoops up Rin like a magician conjuring a goldfish! Home sweet home—bam! And she waltzes into kindergarten without a single treasure map or riddle in sight. The whole ‘adoption’ jazz? A cakewalk on a rainbow slide!
Nay, it’s not the tale twists or the plotty potpourri that tickle your noodle but rather the oodles of feels it flings at you! Sure, any silly fanfare/fadish/sparkly moe concoction can attempt this jig, yet none succeed by prancing in normality. Oh, they just bluster in supernova levels, splattering sex, kabooms, doom, and debauchery, then strut about claiming 'maturity' while tickling skepticism too raw! Characters? Pure vanilla, bare of quirky sprinkles, frizzy beehives, or attire obsessions. They play their roles like pros, needing no zesty garnishes! That’s my jam with this show; it dances with simplicity and realism without snoring off, even if you’re not vibing with the genre. And this comes from one who paloozed with titanic yarns like Aria, Wandering Son, and Yokohama Shopping Diary and found them snooze-fests extraordinaire!
Is it a show of whimsical wonder? Indeed, it dances in the realm of the unusual, and I sparkle with delight in saying this! In a sea of anime sameness, Usagi Drop leaps forth like a hopping unicorn, casting the glow of authentic life instead of a feeble 'adult' tale. Yet, one must twirl in doubt—would it jiggle its fame without 'that peculiar event' at the manga's finish (which the anime decided to play hide-and-seek with)?
ThatAnimeSnob Ghibli Art, Circa 2025
Those lumps aren't gonna make themselves, Pudding!
I have Arx Fatalis on the og XBOX emulator like with Breakdown because I heard it's very hard to cast the spells with modern PCs due to the mouse movements not adjusting to the screen resolution and the fan made patches aren't very good at fixing it
I like Kojima's work from what I have played from him so far except for the first Metal Gear in the MSX. In order it would be Metal Gear 2, Snatcher, Policenauts and Metal Gear Solid 1. MGS 1 only feels clunky when trying to redo sections from MG2 in a game released ten years later ik spite of the improvements in game design philosophy (the part with the cards and backtracking to get the right temperature to make the game longer is ripped straight out of MG2 lol)
Ah I see... It's interesting they went for a cult plotline, I wonder if any material was taken from that one Episode of Cowboy Bebop.
Yeah I think the ending scene with the boy, as everything pans out and you see the girl transformed as a statue holding an egg (or something along those lines) was an absolutely fantastic scene. But the scene I was talking about from what I recall was the scene when the girl jumps off a cliff to her death, and then as she falls, right before she hits the water she sees her reflection.
Also I wanted to mention I'm catching up on Psycho-Pass and I do agree with you that season 2 felt much weaker than the first season. Felt like pretty much all self-criticism of the society the writers set up was abandoned for a sort of blind optimism that sibyl will end up turning into some kind of techno-god. I believe there was actually some dialogue about that in the last episode if I recall correctly between Akane and Sibyl. It was rather disappointing given how much I enjoyed the first season. Though I don't think it's a dip in quality quite to the degree of the second season of Promised Neverland for instance.
they fail to see how fucking hilariously cuck it is for the MC
That's the thing, they don't fail to see anything :P The Anime does have that bit executed within the story in season 3 or the ova to it. i don't remember the specifics anymore but the chick was like the child has to be abh from birth and idk if she asked the MC to get abh operation before the marriage or smthn so the child is born abh even if he mostly remains humin. Remember that count or smthn and how he was human or somethign else but the child was abh. Something like that lol
Though it's mostly hilariously innocuous on the imperialism and supremacism front, as in spirit it's kinda in the vein of/similar to these space works they make where body or genetic modification is part of humanity's survival in space and like contest with other species. Anyone can be abh.
lmao hobo martyrdom would be something, now that's revolutionary in its own right. I don't know if i want to watch more of it lol im halfway through what's aired and i already can't find the motivation anymore.
lol Axel is the christ figure confirmed :P
Yeah it's sounding like skinner more and more by the minute lol and it's sadder that I am beginning to be convinced of you christ and antichrist interpretation too. I just hope it is as hamfisted as possible in the revelation later on, I wouldn't settle for anything less XD
Your interpretation based on the red herrings don't seem that off at all to me, it might just be that obvious. Also to add, The red tulip can also be a sign of revolution maybe in this context, cause remember the iranian national symbol with the weapons? Rather curious the tulip made of weapons is the symbol that came after the revolution, and that martyrdom in general can understood as for some cause or ideology based revolution too. Maybe it has some turkish equivalent.
I tried looking in this thought direction and found this:
It was common as a symbol used in the 1979 Islamic Revolution, and a red tulip adorns the flag redesigned in 1980.
The Tulip Revolution, also known as the First Kyrgyz Revolution, led to Kyrgyzstan's then-President Askar Akayev's fall from power.
kyrgyz are a turkic country too.
★ So yeah maybe it symbolizes his revolution rather than his sacrifice?
then maybe it cna also tie into the red herrings too
Oh also btw the large tower i talked about last time in istanbul, my bad i misremembered the scene completely XD
Don't look at it and just open your mouth. It's proof of our bond. Now swallow it.
Sounds like peak writing, i don't know what the issue here is :P
Btw I see what you're into nowadays by the content you're consuming:
10% romance
10% Outer Space
80% Abh racial supremacism
The Akudama Drive scene did look interesting to me at least by the visuals, though the cross shot is as unsubtle as it comes and I bet the story is a mess XD
Ohh Penumbra sounds very interesting with the natural monsters, it reminded me of Rain World. The thing with Amnesia is that I think it would feel more predictable.
I finished The Eternaut. The closest thing it reminded me of was actually Half Life 2 because of how it handles the aliens lol, it's very different from the comic though there are some plot choices that are potentially interesting for a season two. Kojima updated his twitter and finished it, he said it was a masterpiece XD. I won't go that far as the characters are still very simplistic, it's the disturbing thematic implications what make all the sauce, I would give it a 7/10
I think the reason was the first movies were done on a comparatively lower budget than most action movies nowadays so even if it didn't earn a lot of money it still made a profit. As for their quality I do also feel confused since because of the nature of the fight scenes starting with the sequels it feels so weird that people in the mainstream don't find them silly as well. The worldbuilding of the organization is the most interesting about it, I have to agree, though you have to go through a very mediocre first movie before it delves into it.
Hahaha if you don't mind searching for it show me the scene. I'm not so interested on the series as the director worked on the Doraemon movie about the people kidnapping children to make Thomas Moore's utopia (someone is obssessed with sects lol) I wasn't that thrilled about. By the way are the action scenes dynamic like this with electronic music in AD? It was so weird watching an action scene like that in a Doraemon movie XD
Yeah feel free to go through my list if you do, I think a lot of the older games which is what I had the most experience with, you can mark it for your list. I noticed the Might & Magic game was from 2006, the year Oblivion was released, which also used a lot of physics for objects and stuff. I bet after Half Life 2 everyone was trying to incorporate physics as much as possible lol
Me personally I'm not sure about the fact it's by the Danganronpa developers, must be kind of edgy as well
The only overarching story is that the protagonist needs to escape and find a guy who eliminates his bounty inside the organization. That scene he's talking about is probably this one XD:
Well yes the government does seem wrong in this particular instance.
Yes I think the Jonestown incident was a bit more similar to what was going on here.
Yea once again they didnt really explain anything.
Well Eleina can be a British Hong Kong name but at the end of the day the names dont really mean anything if we dont have any info on characters at all lol.
Yeah I remember not being very convinced about then feeling like they were in a different reality XD. It's not religious, but there's like a whole criminal society (which the protagonist was a part of and now has to go back to for help as he ends up killing one of its members in the first movie) where you have to show a coin to show you are a member and use them to get favours from the various parties, the russians, the italians, etc. It's not quite mafia against mafia because they don't interact with normal people, it's really strange.
Yeah the main quest of Daggerfall was very interesting and I don't know another RPG where you play as an ambassador and supplying information and solving a murder mystery between three political factions and some other minor ones thrown in. The resolution is kind of meh though, with a guy who doesn't show up beforehand, and that surreal final dungeon feels kind of tacked on to have a cool final level more than anything else narratively.
Hey Gsar you have to make a Backloggd account sometime so I can grab some recommendations :p I remember you once mentioned a fantasy game which wasn't well received but with which you had fun with physics and stuff
Which means that she ran away from home when she was 12 (3 years ago) so maybe she was exposed to hacking at an early age before joining the cult.
But nowhere in the anime do they even talk about or mentions any of this information lmaoo
Episode 4 opening dialogue suggests that she was hiding/staying somewhere underground when she tried hapna for the first time.
The cult felt more like Amish people than an actual cult that began a witch hunt lol
Do you think that the AI was actively speaking to Billy? Or maybe it stopped after a while after realizing how foolish he was? Cus when he ran into the room the AI never responded to him but when Axel walked in, it responded.
Never heard about Heaven's Gate or Waco so i had to google both.
I remembered hearing about a Zookeeper or something letting loose his animals in a small town or something and they were killing people. That is the waco incident? I didnt really read much of it when I googled.
Oh by the way I finished Daggerfall. The final dungeon is very surreal, there's one part where the god of that Oblivion DLC I like helps you traverse a part where you have to solve a puzzle involving gigantic crossbows and swords in a void which visually reminded me of this game in Haunted Cities volume 1:
Lol it's coming this year, I didn't knew. So they are finally going into sects, with John Wick's director as someone in the crew I think it was to be expected lol, in that franchise it's about a group of criminals in an underworld with their own coins and the characters may be fighting in the street and the people around them don't react, etc. The guy upside down in Kawano's scene you showed me must also be a consequence of this guy wanting to make the fight sequences kind of silly on purpose (John Wick always falls down stairs or gets thrown to glass if there's anything like that nearby lol).
The thing is I don't know if Watanabe goes for that silly vibe or if he instead ends up making it feel pretentious
All Comments (5621) Comments
I like Kojima's work from what I have played from him so far except for the first Metal Gear in the MSX. In order it would be Metal Gear 2, Snatcher, Policenauts and Metal Gear Solid 1. MGS 1 only feels clunky when trying to redo sections from MG2 in a game released ten years later ik spite of the improvements in game design philosophy (the part with the cards and backtracking to get the right temperature to make the game longer is ripped straight out of MG2 lol)
Yeah I think the ending scene with the boy, as everything pans out and you see the girl transformed as a statue holding an egg (or something along those lines) was an absolutely fantastic scene. But the scene I was talking about from what I recall was the scene when the girl jumps off a cliff to her death, and then as she falls, right before she hits the water she sees her reflection.
Also I wanted to mention I'm catching up on Psycho-Pass and I do agree with you that season 2 felt much weaker than the first season. Felt like pretty much all self-criticism of the society the writers set up was abandoned for a sort of blind optimism that sibyl will end up turning into some kind of techno-god. I believe there was actually some dialogue about that in the last episode if I recall correctly between Akane and Sibyl. It was rather disappointing given how much I enjoyed the first season. Though I don't think it's a dip in quality quite to the degree of the second season of Promised Neverland for instance.
That's the thing, they don't fail to see anything :P The Anime does have that bit executed within the story in season 3 or the ova to it. i don't remember the specifics anymore but the chick was like the child has to be abh from birth and idk if she asked the MC to get abh operation before the marriage or smthn so the child is born abh even if he mostly remains humin. Remember that count or smthn and how he was human or somethign else but the child was abh. Something like that lol
Though it's mostly hilariously innocuous on the imperialism and supremacism front, as in spirit it's kinda in the vein of/similar to these space works they make where body or genetic modification is part of humanity's survival in space and like contest with other species. Anyone can be abh.
lmao hobo martyrdom would be something, now that's revolutionary in its own right. I don't know if i want to watch more of it lol im halfway through what's aired and i already can't find the motivation anymore.
lol Axel is the christ figure confirmed :P
Your interpretation based on the red herrings don't seem that off at all to me, it might just be that obvious. Also to add, The red tulip can also be a sign of revolution maybe in this context, cause remember the iranian national symbol with the weapons? Rather curious the tulip made of weapons is the symbol that came after the revolution, and that martyrdom in general can understood as for some cause or ideology based revolution too. Maybe it has some turkish equivalent.
I tried looking in this thought direction and found this:
kyrgyz are a turkic country too.
★ So yeah maybe it symbolizes his revolution rather than his sacrifice?
then maybe it cna also tie into the red herrings too
Oh also btw the large tower i talked about last time in istanbul, my bad i misremembered the scene completely XD
Sounds like peak writing, i don't know what the issue here is :P
Btw I see what you're into nowadays by the content you're consuming:
10% romance
10% Outer Space
80% Abh racial supremacism
Ohh Penumbra sounds very interesting with the natural monsters, it reminded me of Rain World. The thing with Amnesia is that I think it would feel more predictable.
I finished The Eternaut. The closest thing it reminded me of was actually Half Life 2 because of how it handles the aliens lol, it's very different from the comic though there are some plot choices that are potentially interesting for a season two. Kojima updated his twitter and finished it, he said it was a masterpiece XD. I won't go that far as the characters are still very simplistic, it's the disturbing thematic implications what make all the sauce, I would give it a 7/10
Hahaha if you don't mind searching for it show me the scene. I'm not so interested on the series as the director worked on the Doraemon movie about the people kidnapping children to make Thomas Moore's utopia (someone is obssessed with sects lol) I wasn't that thrilled about. By the way are the action scenes dynamic like this with electronic music in AD? It was so weird watching an action scene like that in a Doraemon movie XD
https://sakugabooru.com/post/show/235750
Now that I have my own PC I have downloaded Frictional's titles. I remember that you said Amnesia was dumbed down compared to the Penumbra titles
Me personally I'm not sure about the fact it's by the Danganronpa developers, must be kind of edgy as well
The only overarching story is that the protagonist needs to escape and find a guy who eliminates his bounty inside the organization. That scene he's talking about is probably this one XD:
https://youtu.be/LCjNPzoUC5g?si=kRtAiEzIZbyc4ats
Well yes the government does seem wrong in this particular instance.
Yes I think the Jonestown incident was a bit more similar to what was going on here.
Yea once again they didnt really explain anything.
Well Eleina can be a British Hong Kong name but at the end of the day the names dont really mean anything if we dont have any info on characters at all lol.
Yeah the main quest of Daggerfall was very interesting and I don't know another RPG where you play as an ambassador and supplying information and solving a murder mystery between three political factions and some other minor ones thrown in. The resolution is kind of meh though, with a guy who doesn't show up beforehand, and that surreal final dungeon feels kind of tacked on to have a cool final level more than anything else narratively.
By the way did you see the Danganronpa guys made an SRPG with 100 different endings? XD
https://backloggd.com/games/the-hundred-line-last-defense-academy/
Hey Gsar you have to make a Backloggd account sometime so I can grab some recommendations :p I remember you once mentioned a fantasy game which wasn't well received but with which you had fun with physics and stuff
Which means that she ran away from home when she was 12 (3 years ago) so maybe she was exposed to hacking at an early age before joining the cult.
But nowhere in the anime do they even talk about or mentions any of this information lmaoo
Episode 4 opening dialogue suggests that she was hiding/staying somewhere underground when she tried hapna for the first time.
The cult felt more like Amish people than an actual cult that began a witch hunt lol
Do you think that the AI was actively speaking to Billy? Or maybe it stopped after a while after realizing how foolish he was? Cus when he ran into the room the AI never responded to him but when Axel walked in, it responded.
Never heard about Heaven's Gate or Waco so i had to google both.
I remembered hearing about a Zookeeper or something letting loose his animals in a small town or something and they were killing people. That is the waco incident? I didnt really read much of it when I googled.
https://youtu.be/wQplrMTTgTc?si=zmReY6xLlsENXVNj
The thing is I don't know if Watanabe goes for that silly vibe or if he instead ends up making it feel pretentious
You left a cult willingly? No consequences? And no purity/rejoining ritual? lol
Also she convenientlydidn't mention this important fact.
Heck how did she even learn how to hack?
And the cult was just there in an open area and all the authorities just left them be? lmaoo
As for the newest episode, nothing really happened and only the last dialogue with Axel and Naga was interesting.
It's clear that the writers are doing whatever they want lmaoo
Also To Be Hero X finally changed focus to another group of heros/villains which means that everyone most likely will be connected later on.