I'm an awkward twenty-something-year-old who cares a lot about humor, knowledge, and Japanese erotica—that's me in a nutshell. If you want to know more: I like things that are long, I dislike sports that involve balls, and I fear the Jews (even when they come bearing gifts). Below is something I find amusing, followed by a list of some favorites.
An actor comes home to find his wife sobbing, her hair and clothing rumpled, and bruises on her arms and back.
"Your agent was here," she sobs; "he insulted me, he beat me, he raped me!"
"Did he leave a message?"