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Feb 8, 2017

There's something unsettling—and hilariously incongruous—about the way Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned tries to replicate the classic Hammer Horror aesthetic with some of the cheapest, clunkiest, flattest-looking herky-jerky animation this side of Hanna-Barbera.

I mean, seriously?

Call me crazy, but I'm not sure if the likes of Jabberjaw and Jonny Quest should occupy the same universe as vampires, devil worshippers, child-murdering priests, zombies, karate-kicking demon slayers, wheelchair ninjas, hyperintelligent dobermans, disco studs, reincarnated babies with Jesus powers, and—in a cameo appearance—a surprisingly pointy-eared Satan (or "Lucifer Satan, as he calls himself).

Uh, scratch that. On second thought, all of that actually sounds kinda awesome. And hell, read more
Feb 8, 2017
I don't even know what it is I am doing anymore. My head hasn't a BSOD like this since Inherent friggin Vice! This gave me flashbacks to some of those videotapes of questionable quality in my basement that I watched as a kid. Something like A Tale of Two Kitties, which I now know was a Polish production dubbed into English and released by Good Housekeeping magazine of all things! Also, truth in advertising: From the Studio that Brought You Dragon Ball Z!

There was some rat-faced dipshit a-drivin' his jalopy in the woods with his animal friends, a bear, a mouse, a fox, and a read more