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"Love really is a horrible thing" & by Mari Okazaki does not shy away from the harsh side of love and presents this as the naked truth. This slice of life follows Kaoru Aoki, an aimless 26-year-old woman who has never had a lover and embarks on a relationship with a brash man who intrigues her. It's not exactly the pretty romance you want to root for, but that's what makes it so realistic and interesting. It is a peculiar relationship, presented in a deeply introspective manner as dialogue frequently overlaps with an overflow of each character's thoughts.


The story is complex with little frivolity and ... an unwavering sense of unease. It features several characters, most with interesting, well developed backgrounds and all in different kinds of love and lust - "All have fallen into a love trap" They all share the burden of a troubled love life. Most of their individual insecurities are splayed out through their thoughts, and for the leads, flashbacks of the events that plague their minds are replayed with equivocation - as if they are still too painful to discuss. I deeply sympathised with Shiro and Konno and would've loved to see the latter fleshed out further.


Hands hold a heavy focus as touch is a strong theme. One of Kaoru's idiosyncrasies is an aversion to being touched by others, especially strangers, so her decision to open a nail salon could be viewed as a desire to grow or a kind of self-inflicted punishment. Hands are one of the most difficult parts for an artist to master, and Okazaki does a great job with all the long, limber fingers. Sex, which often goes hand in hand with touch, is beautifully drawn.


The illustrations are absolutely marvellous. Hair is drawn with satisfying fluidity. The scenes with swirly clouds are particularly magnificent as they resemble a sixties psychedelic dream. Everything is excruciatingly detailed, with the exception of important moments, which are often simplistic in contrast. Most pages are dotted with little clouds, as if they are trains of thought bubbling away, or the characters are drifting through a dream. The art also naturally evolves with Kaoru. It shifts away from the earlier flowery motif to spiky palm fronds as she spends more time with them. As for character design, Kaoru is cute but has the tendency to appear odd and a little froggy, as her head and bug eyes are disproportionally massive. The male characters, Dr Yagai and Shiro, have a rough sketched look which contrasts most of the others.


To conclude, & is about a romance that's not as sweet as the art. It's worth a read if you're looking for a mature story about first love.

& (And) by Okazaki Mari is a story that may not resonate with everyone. To put it simply, its narrative is one that might leave some readers feeling confused. Writing a spoiler-free review for it, however, is quite the challenge.

Art – 10/10

Let’s get straight to the point. I had my doubts about the art style initially, wondering if the quality might dip over time. Fortunately, it never did. The composition of the panels, with their unique and eye-catching juxtapositions, consistently impressed me. The character designs were easy on the eyes and never overstimulating. Small details, like the backgrounds and the depiction of tears, were beautifully ... rendered, adding a lot of emotional depth to the scenes.

No details is wasted, down to how often the plants are used in some pannels until it becomes clear why they hold such an importance.

The intimate nature of sexual scenes felt incredibly personal and restrained, never crossing into the realms of being overly obscene or grotesque. It was clear that these moments were crafted from Kaoru’s perspective, enhancing the authenticity of the experience.

The only real issue I had was occasionally struggling to discern who was speaking due to some awkward speech bubble placements. However, I won’t deduct any points for this, as it could very well be a translation issue.

Character Writing and Storytelling – 9/10

Nobody in this story is without flaws, and that’s one of its greatest strengths. While Kaoru might initially appear to be a “Mary Sue” like character, it quickly becomes apparent from the other characters’ perspectives that she is far from perfect.

Her introspective moments are refreshingly relatable and offer a much-needed sense of authenticity. The story touches on many complex themes, including the future, love, and grief, and handles them with maturity and care. The adult themes explored in the narrative are just as easy to connect with, showcasing a deep understanding of life’s more difficult realities.

Kaoru’s experience with falling in love for the first time was something I personally found deeply relatable. It's naive, pure, confusing, and at times, dirty, beautiful in its heartache.

Yagai’s personal struggle is nuanced and layered. As the story progresses, his character’s arc blooms beautifully, leading to a satisfying explanation.

Even the side characters are given their due spotlight, with their potential fully realized within the story.

That said, I did not particularly enjoy the ending. While it didn't appeal to me personally (Biased opinion), I can certainly appreciate the beauty in its execution.

Never before have I genuinely regretted reading a manga- that is until I read this.

If you feel down and want to read a romance manga, look else well. There are cute romances that will light up your day- I recommend reading those instead of this abomination of a story.

I think entertainment is supposed to be in a way an escape from reality. Though most stories provide nuance on life, I would say this is a manga that only manages to tell you that everything in your life is worthless. The theme provides anything but nuance. It is not the worst written thing I have ... ever read- far from it; however this manga truly disgusted me and because of that I cannot recommend this to anyone because I am not an evil sadist.