Jibun no Karada wo Yurusu made

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Alternative Titles

Synonyms: I Want to Say I Love Me

Japanese: 女の体をゆるすまで

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Information

Type: Manga

Volumes: 2

Chapters: 20

Status: Finished

Published: Aug 27, 2020 to Jun 10, 2021

Genre: Drama

Serialization: Yawaraka Spirits

Authors: Pesuyama, Poppy (Story & Art)

Statistics

Score: 7.51¹ (scored by 225 users)

¹ indicates a weighted score.

Ranked: #2895²

² based on the top manga page. Please note that 'R18+' titles are excluded.

Popularity: #14058

Members: 1,089

Favorites: 5

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7.51

Ranked #2895Popularity #14058Members 1,089

MangaYawaraka SpiritsPesuyama, Poppy (Story & Art)

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Volumes: /2

Chapters: /20

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Synopsis

Though they were assigned female at birth, manga artist Poppy Pesuyama feels like anything but a girl. Struggling to come to terms with who they are in a binary world, Poppy finds themself becoming an assistant for the famous manga artist X. Not only is Poppy nervous working with such an influential industry figure, but also X's less-than-appropriate behavior exacerbates their gender dysphoria, leading to something much worse.

Years later, the non-binary manga artist is still tortured by the abuse and ridicule they faced working under X, never receiving the closure they needed to move on. Angered by it all, Poppy recounts their experiences and life up to that point. Through their journey of self-acceptance, gender identity, and society, Poppy discovers what they have been desperately looking for.

[Written by MAL Rewrite]

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Background

Jibun no Karada wo Yurusu made was published in English as Until I Love Myself: The Journey of a Nonbinary Manga Artist by VIZ Media under the VIZ Signature imprint from June 20, 2023, to September 19, 2023.

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Reviews

Aug 13, 2023

GreyWardenSkull

Recommended

I wasn't expecting this little gem to plonk itself on my lap when I was browsing around my local bookstore for new manga to read.

The art of Until I love myself stands out a lot from the usual manga you see on book shelves, it's very organic and worries more about expressing itself rather than appearing polished. The designs are distinct and adorably geometric heavy, and the way the author breaks their shapes to express emotions in situations where it's hard to describe how it feels is just mwah, chef kiss!

The story, I don't want to critique or talk about too much because ...

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Mar 20, 2024

bergars

Recommended

What does life tell us? When we write a character study about ourselves?

Writing this while still not decided what to rate it.

Manga isn't something I'd usually go to for an autobiographical story. There's only one manga that I follow from that regard, “My Solo Exchange Diary”, and the author Kabi Nagata; and in the same vein, this isn't the kind of story you'd find a film about. There's over 8 billion different lives currently happening at this instant, and people being able to express theirs in manga form inspires me like nothing else, specially with stories as necessary as this one.

Pesuyama, a non-binary, male ... leaning author, suffered from sexual assault in their workspace back in 2013, due to their female body. At a time when laws, the media, the legality, and the social norms weren't as prevalent in protecting the suffering ones. Pesuyama was, at the time, somebody whose experiences had already caused them extreme turmoil, confusion, anger, hatred, not only outwards, but inwards. Damming their existence, damming everybody else around them. A horrible cycle of loneliness, pain, hatred, and their slow way out.

It's such an honest portrayal of a human, at least for the moment Pesuyama wrote it in. While, we can always imagine life to be a bit predictable, the way we describe experiences like this is what makes them important. While this is a portrayal of life, it feels like a grander lesson on understanding, on caring about those around us. Respect isn't a hard thing to act out, much less when aware of how our actions affect others. And yes, not even the author is perfect. People have reasons to be horrible to others, and it isn't a justification on bad behavior, but knowledge to be recognized, so we can move forwards, and become better people. The friendships we have, the relationships with our families, are all that hold us up in times of sadness.

Life affirming, and equally therapeutic for Pesuyama to have written it. It reinforces my beliefs as a person, and definitely my respect for the surrounding ones. In that regard, the manga succeeds. Now, of course, being an autobiography, and a short one at that, it isn't perfect. There's a messiness with details that (while making the manga more human) undermine a good structure. It embodies the author to a T, since it wasn't at all written with a plan on when it'll end. Like a friend, telling us what's relevant to each piece of a small puzzle, instead of the whole picture. The last chapters delve into a much more personal detail, that connects with their other manga, which I wish was translated somewhere.

It's Pesuyama's arc into slowly accepting their body, with some bits and pieces of how their relationships change over time. Their mother, friends, the past, the reminiscence, and how they portray themselves with the limitations of the publishers. It's all about confronting one's demons, and reaching what many would think is an “anti-climactic” resolution. I loved it all the same.

The art is simple, expressive, to the point, effective. Text is the most important part in this memoir.

I have only praise for this one, and the problems only fill it with earnestness. I hope there's a future where I can read more from the author, and their personal portrayals of life.

8/10. Definitely gotta check out more memoirs, if they're this good.

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Jul 13, 2023

SleepyPixie_

Recommended

Preliminary (10/20 eps)

The medium of manga is not widespread used for autobiography, which I’ve realized is a shame. Though this, of course, means immensely slice of life and lots of inner monologue, having visual expression to aid a person’s experience can be powerful. It also allows for a little more ‘show don’t tell’ than a standard autobiographical novel can achieve. It can lead to it appearing less compelling than fictional manga to a large portion of manga readers.

So what about *this* autobiographical manga specifically? The art is a simple and cute style that I’m not normally drawn to, but the type of story being told is ...

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	Poll: Jibun no Karada wo Yurusu made Chapter 15 Discussion Netbug - Nov 27, 2023	0 replies	by Netbug »» Nov 27, 2023 7:57 AM
	Where to read this? debussy_69 - Oct 11, 2022	1 replies	by Degenerate8 »» Jun 27, 2023 10:24 AM

Jibun no Karada wo Yurusu made
Until I Love Myself: The Journey of a Nonbinary Manga Artist
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