| this is from mylifeisaverage.com Today I read an MLIA about someone who was confused about the warning on her hairdryer that says "DO NOT OPERATE WHILE SLEEPING". I used to live in a house where the heating was always broken, so I'd curl up in bed and use the hairdryer to blow hot air under the covers to keep warm. One time I fell asleep and set the sheets on fire. It's a pretty sensible warning, when you think about it. MLIA |
 banana |
| ^ I love MLIA. The other day I learned that if you say 'beer can' with an English accent, you're saying 'bacon' with a Jamaican accent. Mind blown. MLIA |
Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the General Forum Guidelines! |
| Some people mite find these jokes racist but here I go (PS. I ain't racist) ok sorry I did not have any jokes about white people but I will ask my friend that told me these jokes (but the yo mama one I made that one up)and see if he knows any white jokes........and please don't go to my profile and call me racist because I'm not ;D here are some regular yo mama joke Here is one for you star wars fan |
Miharu101Nov 30, 2009 4:24 PM
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| Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on land. |
| So many ya moma jokes. Not very clever... A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a few days, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit! Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do. A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him! Lessons: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! |
| lol @ Day2Dream why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? |
DarkRoseOtakuDec 15, 2009 7:00 PM
banana |
| Very clever ones Day2Dream. |
 |
| here's a yo mama joke i heard from MTV |
banana |
| Here come more Yo Mama jokes (this time is about anime...) |
| |
xLordxOrochix said: i heard that one before lol i think it was w/ the arabian guy right? Pakistani guy. PakAttack! |
banana |
5layer said: Check this out anyone who hasn't done it yet: [url=http://www.winterrowd.com/fullscreen/?GameId=6]http://www.winterrowd.com/fullscreen/?GameId=6 Make sure to complete the first level. screw you and your bubble wrap 5layer |
| characters |
| "I can sit here all day tellin' you that the sky is blue- But until you go outside.. and look the fuck up, how do you know I'm telling the truth?" HotdamnIrock on YouTube. |
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tyrano1402 said: lol whats wrong tyrano? no sense of humor? I laughed so hard once I did the bubble wrap thing. I couldn't stop laughing when my brother did it5layer said: Check this out anyone who hasn't done it yet: [url=http://www.winterrowd.com/fullscreen/?GameId=6]http://www.winterrowd.com/fullscreen/?GameId=6 Make sure to complete the first level. screw you and your bubble wrap 5layer |
| |
| "Got it?this is what it means to kill things" |
| haha! LOL |
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