| Here is my first one i used to post alot on some writin clubs and i always loved to hear comments back so please shoot away, thank you. True Love You I can see you a figure of pure life and existence in what we call the human body. your eyes what are they looking at me how selfish no their looking at a world that you let me exist in but as I look through my own eyes the world I once saw melts away around you and is left a feeling of total radiant s around you. I want to feel I want to hold I want you and nothing else like a feather to a bird or a pedal to a flower I need to be with you in order to feel as I want NO need to feel for that is true love. |
| another i like Rain Falling on Unexpected Eyes Darkness hope love all my feeling pour out i feel the love die away nothing left nothing to be but an empty vessel but then when you came you helped rebuild reinvent me i watched you pick me up and put me together like a puzzle unknowing of what was to happen after but i see you not as a human no i see you for a love a love that never ends that never falls away, burns out or just disperses, your always their in front of me looking into my eyes holding me i never needed nor want anyone else you are my life you are my future i cant see anything but you and the empty world around i would take discarded everything for you nothing left is what ill say but give you more for only in return being able to see you in front of me looking into me and looking out of me so that my pain my tears will never fall upon Unexpected Eyes. |
| its eternal in a spotless mind i feel care and compassion fade away as you exit the door away from me, away from my world. knowing full well the past that lead to a day such as this i can only sit and watch as you exit with all that you carry, with you a heart, a piece of me. in my hopes i say as you fade away to become more than a dream remember only one thing if you'd please, before you leave. i am a spotless mind and only good memories stay as the bad ones leave so remember only good, of me and you and let all else fade away with me |
| I really love all of these. Mostly the second one :D |
| These monologues REALLY need to be formatted before I can enjoy them. I normally don't go out of my way and critique grammar mistakes but let me do the first one so you get an idea of the amount of issues I am seeing: True Love I can see you, a figure of pure life and existence in what we call the human body. Your eyes, looking at me – how selfish – no, they're looking at a world that you let me exist in, but as I look through my own eyes the world I once saw melts away. Around you is left a feeling of total radiance. I want to feel – I want to hold – I want you, and nothing else; like a feather to a bird or a pedal to a flower, I need to be with you in order to feel. No need to want to feel; for that is true love. It's literally a trudge to read without correction. Are these poems? |
| hahahah that's awesome thank you, these are what i like to call babbles, just what ever is on my mind at the time. i apologize i never really go back over my stuff after i type them up. i like the idea of people reading them the way they see them, grammar, and punctuation or not. |
| he Unknown A black night seeps through a corner, it poisons the air till their is no air left. it stains you in total darkness it takes from you what is most important, light and sound. so then why do i feel so comfortable? all i can think of doing in this darkness is lay down, and stare into it. let it show me its secrets tales and songs of greatness but, some how it's mystery does not scare me what about you? |
| The lights of the towns brighten the Sky that I look upon; but it feels so artificial my eyes squint as I feel like I'm melting. Screams not heard, story's not told, and things that will never be able to reach out to others. a sadness falls over the light and it turns into a stained black I can't see any more theirs nothing but me and myself how lonesome |
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