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Jan 22, 2017 5:27 PM
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Reading
A hobby ranging from Light Novels your anime is based off of to dense philosophical text to absolutely ludicrous mathematics manuscripts.
 
Jan 22, 2017 10:20 PM

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Try doing 100 Push ups, 100 Sit ups, 100 Squats, and 10km running. That oughta cure your boredness.



~Le Signature
 
Jan 22, 2017 10:25 PM

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Maybe fighting extraterrestrial being? working on a cure to HIV? creating a heat seeker 18.mm bullet?
There's a lot interesting hobby out there.
 
Jan 22, 2017 11:47 PM

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I second the cycling rec. Easy on the body, great cardio benefits, minimal investment requirement, and pretty fun, esp in a group. Running is too high impact and boring af imo. You can easily ruin your ankles and knees (replacement surgery $$$$).
 
Jan 22, 2017 11:56 PM
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Since you're a military fan, I think you might enjoy building model kits of tanks or planes. You can start with small beginner kits like so https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWpy_E3a_Lw. It's a rewarding hobby, but it requires patience and a few hobby tools and supplies to get started.
 
Jan 23, 2017 1:48 AM

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You can pick up an instrument, I recently started to play the violin, just don't expect to be amazing when you start
 
Jan 23, 2017 2:49 AM

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@Fanatique1337 @Arasy @sunfire02 @Erg_Orgy @ShaneM @ichii_1 @Cbr_Star @49er477 @Aureolus @RynGetsu @dustyhulk @AA5x4 @Gymkata @Inazuma-sama @Nickilas2

thanks for all the people who provided actual "legitimate" and "helpful" recommendations!

@Cbr_Star @49er477 @Gymkata
i bought a Mountain Bike several years ago, it's just sitting in my Garage, rarely used after all these years.
weird thing is, before this thread, i never viewed running and bicycles as a hobby but i'll take them into consideration.

@ShaneM @RynGetsu @Nickilas2
i do like a lot of music genres but i've never been a big fan of playing musical instruments, i did try playing the Drums for a time though

@dustyhulk
do Doujins count?

@Inazuma-sama
during Gradeschool i used to build a lot of Gundam and Zoids model kits, i think i had 6 Gundams and over a dozen Zoids built back then.

Thanks everyone, i think i have enough choices for hobbies now!
Modified by gh0strec0n141, Jan 24, 2017 10:58 AM
 
Jan 24, 2017 12:42 AM

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I was in the same boat as you, You should give origami a go.
 
Jan 24, 2017 7:03 PM
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i'll get straight to the point , twitter is becoming everything for in my life for the last 3 years , i use it when i eat , when i go out , before going to bed , i use it like 12 hours a day , it has turned from an enjoyable app to a life-consuming machine , to the point of thinking of people and thier tweets even if i'm not using it at the time , i sometimes get really irritated by people i don't even know which reflects how much i'm addicted to this shitty app .

yes , i tried to delete it numerous times , my biggest record is 3 weeks without twitter , and they were of the finest 3 weeks in a long long time , and then i decided to check my account for only 5 minutes , and .. you know what happend next .

so .. what should i do ? should i stay in a cave until my addiction is gone ? i don't know .. so i'm asking for your advice on how to quit using it , i'll be attending university next week so it'll be a disaster if i didn't quit it .
 
Jan 24, 2017 7:07 PM
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You need to think of better troll threads because trolling here is so bad.
 
Jan 24, 2017 7:09 PM

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deactivate it again for a month...


if you can.


 
Jan 24, 2017 7:20 PM
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Kagami said:
You need to think of better troll threads because trolling here is so bad.


kutchurkatelaflala kutchurkatelaflala !!
 
Jan 24, 2017 9:28 PM

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I wasted so many hours on that shitty app. It's great but dangerously addictive. But now you're well aware that it will bring you trouble if you don't stop using it. I used to be a complete twitter addict for like 2 years and then suddenly realised - I actually don't care about these people and they don't care about me at all. They're just some losers pretending to have a happy life boasting about it on tt, or there were also people that weren't even trying and they were negative af. Think about it, are they all worth your time? Your time which you could spend doing something that you find really enjoyable and brings you satisfaction? Delete it once for all and don't ever try to "open it just for 5 mins to check what is up"
It's in the past already and it's not something that deserves your time
 
Jan 24, 2017 9:57 PM

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I only use Twitter for minor gaming stuff, so I don't have that problem. But just stop using it if you think it's bad for you. No one here will miraculously give you the cure for Twitter addiction, you have to make it yourself.
 
Jan 24, 2017 10:04 PM

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Twitter... Interesting, is that a good, delicious food?

SlaveInUtero said:
i'll be attending university next week so it'll be a disaster if i didn't quit it .


From what I've seen, most HS student use it even in class... I dunno, but they pass I guess...
 
Jan 24, 2017 10:16 PM

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Current world is "era of distraction", even if you managed to stop twitter, probably you will try to find something that similarly addictive (youtube, mal, instagram etc).

You need to beat it with proper mindset because it kinda like addiction like playing slot machine

1. Anticipation whenever check notification
2. Check each tweet of emotional feedback
3. Continue searching for couple of times more
4. Stop for a bit because you feeling guilty
5. Temptation to go back to it

*Im kinda in similar situation with huge procrastination problem, perhaps someone with better mindset can help you sort it out.
Watching style atm:

1. Mindless Gaming + Anime streaming with dual monitor
2. Focused + Anime binged watching with speed up
3. Couch / Bed Anime watching with large TV
4. Relaxing in virtual cinema with VR.
 
Jan 31, 2017 8:54 PM

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Is there an app specified for MAL that lets you search the forums and community? I do know of iMAL which only allows you to view your anime/manga list and add to it.
 
Feb 3, 2017 11:56 AM

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Is there a surefire to have your friends respond to you in a timely manner? For the majority of time, I am simply sat staring at my cellphone, waiting for responses to messages I sent days, or even weeks ago. They are meant to be for normal conversations, the subject depending on the other person's and my own common interests. There is also no one who ever interacts with me of their own accord, I am always the person who is the first to message. I can go a very long time without actually talking to anyone, and more often than not does it unnerve me.
» "reality doesn't change, it never changes
that's why i'll change it with my own strength" «
 
Feb 4, 2017 9:31 AM

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. This is Relationship #2 for both of us, and we feel like we're meant to be together. There's just one problem. He doesn't want kids.

My dream is to have a family, but he absolutely hates kids. Throughout the term of this relationship, I've been trying to convince him why kids are wonderful, and he's been trying to convince me that we'd be happier with it just being the two of us the rest of our lives traveling and doing whatever we want. Last night, it got serious.

He was stern and got really upset. "I'm not having kids," he said. "If you plan on trying to talk me into it or trick me into having kids, you can forget about it right now." He mentioned that we're almost at our 1-year anniversary, so it's time to start having this discussion. I'm 24; he's 26. He said he plans on marrying me in the next 4 years, but the last thing he wants is for me to state during the engagement or the marriage that I want to have kids and end everything. By the time he's 30, he said it'll be hard for him to find a soulmate.

His reasons for not wanting kids:
1. They annoy him. You can tell by the look on his face when he's near a crying child.
2. He had a rough childhood and does not want to risk his kids growing up unhappy.
3. We both have depression, and I have severe bipolar disorder. "What if our kids inherit the same genes? What if our kids come home one day, and you're having one of your episodes and not acting like 'yourself'?" (My argument is if I'm medicated and going through treatment, I'll be fine. Plus ppl with bipolar disorder can have kids just like anyone else.)
4. The BIG one: He says the world is evil. It's overpopulated, and food and resources are scarce. He views bringing a kid into the world to be a cruel and selfish act.

There's only one possible reason I should probably not have kids. If I have a child and something bad happens to him or her, especially if he/she dies, I fear that I would become so depressed that I'll commit suicide or die of heartbreak. I do not see myself handling that well at all.

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. He said he doesn't want me to be unhappy growing up with him not having kids like I want, so he wants me to think long and hard about it. This really upsets me, b/c I want to experience parenthood. Also, (I know this is dumb) I really want to know what our kids would look like, since I'm black and he's white. He is the best guy I ever dated, and I love him so much. It's just this one thing we can't agree on. I definitely don't want to bring a child into the world, and their dad doesn't love them.

I'm seeking advice and asking for a friend. Do I need to consider ending the relationship because of this?

Thank you.
Modified by Demi_V, Feb 4, 2017 9:58 AM
 
Feb 4, 2017 9:47 AM

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Mal is definitely a good place to ask for this kind of advice, almost everyone here has children and isn't 15 years old
lmao
 
Feb 4, 2017 9:52 AM
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The best advice I can give is for you and your boyfriend to go see a counselor and work it out from there.
One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard the noise and came and killed those two dead boys
 
Feb 4, 2017 9:59 AM

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I don't think discussing this particular topic on MAL will do you any wonders. Think you'd be better off finding a counsellor like mentioned above ^




"The other day I met this man, a nice guy, y'know?
And we had a really good chat. Then I slit his throat and ripped his heart out through his chest.
Does that make me a bad person?"

 
Feb 4, 2017 10:05 AM
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25 year old here. I can probably add some input but I think my opinions will help. Some people just aren't good with kids or don't like them. Personally, I think they're terrifying demons but sometimes I have to admit that I have the mental capacity of a 13 year old because it seems that the likelihood of me arguing with a child is way higher than arguing with an adult. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But besides that point.

In high school/university I always had a girlfriend or a "crush" but nowadays I keep to myself. Not because I don't like people but I think this age is the best time for me to focus on myself and my career and to not let binding relationships distract me. This comes with the fact that my countries divorce rate hovers around 50% so at that point the likelihood of my divorce is... well... 50%. Then I'm stressed, alone, half of my salary is gone, and its just a giant mess. But maybe I'll get married or adopt during my early 30's. While I do know that your boyfriend loves you (enough to get married, apparently), kids are a giant commitment. Its an end to a lot of his freedom and its a lot of, in my opinion, stress that wouldn't occur if you're raising a child.

As someone who went through an "angst edgelord" stage in high school my greatest fear that my child will be exactly like me when I was around that age. I saw how my parents were and I know how much they struggled to raise me. Now, I'm a lot more logical and clearminded (through experience) and I can raise my children as such but I still find a looming future of my children becoming dramatic and angsty like was to be worrisome. I'm sure your boyfriend and you have some fears that your children will inherit depression or other psychological disorders (forgive me, I don't know much about genetics).

That being said, I've seen many marriages fail for several different reasons and mostly because of finances which lead to stress (my Mom's first marriage to my sperm donor). There's so many factors to think of when you want to make a child and I think people don't think about it enough in this day of age. Raising a child has become romanticized and I think it should be more rational than what it is currently. If both of you want children, you're both like minded, been together for a while (not one year, 5-6+ years), and can financially support a child, go for it.

I was going to say more but I'm not going to be cruel about it. You can't force him to get a child and thats the bottom line. To raise a child requires both parties to agree because I was born in a house where my Dad didn't want me and thats just a pain. And I can talk more and more about how there's too many children with shitty parents or "invisible parents"... But that's not my business.
 
Feb 4, 2017 10:11 AM

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>My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months

Mhh.. I wish you a happy life since you're so sure that his the one.
 
Feb 4, 2017 10:12 AM

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@Saediss Thanks so much for your input! Those were things I needed to hear, and I appreciate your response.
 
Feb 4, 2017 10:18 AM

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I don't think this is a good place to ask, but maybe I can help a bit: I'm 26 too, I don't want children, mostly because of 3/ and 4/. If he already has a hard time taking care of himself, I find it logical that he'd be scared of taking care of children, and his arguments when t comes to overpopulation aren't dumb either.

It's really up to you, but I'm pretty sure talking him into it won't make him change. Give it some time, 8 or 9 monthes is a reaaaaally short time, and if you bring up the subject since the beginning, I can see why he'd be reluctant.
 
Feb 4, 2017 10:19 AM

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All you can do is talk it out and be as explicit as possible about what you both want and why. For example, it sounds like he's sympathetic with antinatalism. You can talk about what that means, why you think it's wrong or impractical or whatever. Read up about the pros and cons of having kids and discuss. Discuss possible compromises. Maybe you could have one child instead of multiple, you could adopt instead of having a child yourself (you could skip the baby part and the child wouldn't be genetically related to you), etc. Maybe you'll end up agreeing with him that not having children would be best, or maybe you'll break up. But you could say that you tried.

A counsellor may help, as others have suggested.
Modified by Josh, Feb 4, 2017 10:23 AM
LoneWolf said:
@Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian.
 
Feb 4, 2017 10:20 AM

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I feel like yes, the best option is couple's therapy or counselling. Whatever advice we give here is kind of pointless.

If I was in that situation I'd be perfectly honest with my partner and try to reason with him. If he really does not want to have kids that's understandable but you guys are only 25-26 and only been dating for a year. He might change his opinion? But I think talking would not change his opinion or being pushy.

Hope you find a solution, not being to able to agree on with someone you love sucks I get it. Good luck and hang in there^^
 
Feb 4, 2017 10:27 AM

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To add on what @Josh said: Adoption can counter two of his arguments: antinatalism, and not liking really small children. there are plenty 3-6 yo children nobody wants to adopt because they're too old and that's not the "perfect" idea they had of parenthood. Might we worth looking into it.
 
Feb 4, 2017 10:31 AM

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I hate kids too. I used to think that I'd rather never be a parent but after the army I realized something: I fucking hate kids!... But only someone else's kids.
I realized that when I'll have my own I will love them bad. In fact I will most likely be one of these over-protective fathers if it's a girl, or these "I'll pay for your 1st whore" fathers, if it's a boy.
So I do believe that hate for kids is not hate for Your Own kids. He may come to realize that sooner or later. <= which is why you should be longer together before you consider having kids. He may change or your mutual feeling may change.

I also hope you can afford kids. I rn can easily afford traveling the world and playing with expensive stuff doing expensive hobbies But I know that having kids is a very long term investment and a life-long commitment (if not to the partner then to them). This will cost way more money than you'd ever expect, come with multiple difficulties and with no time for rest or an "Undo" button (Technically the latter is not completely true). So even if you both agree and share the intention - make sure you are ready. Really ready.

GL op.
 
Feb 4, 2017 10:33 AM
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I can totally understand your boyfriend. I hate kids too. And his arguments are solid as well. At least the guy told you from the very beginning that he doesn't want kids.

You should ask yourself what do you really want and if you're willing to compromise. If you think that you won't be able to live without making a family you should not drag this out and sever the relationship. Because at some point it will come to this anyway...and it's better to do it early on than after a few years of marriage..

But as the guys above told you already, it'd better if you went to a therapist. Most users on MAL are young teenagers
 
Feb 4, 2017 11:16 AM

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Ok, Middle aged dude here...

First of all no young guy wants to have kids. Because they see as an end to their "Freedom"

2nd it's a TERRIBLE idea to have kids out of wedlock. You want to make sure he's willing to commit to you before you bring another human being into the world. Other wise when the times get tough and the bills pile up, you'll end up being another single Mom working day and night when he splits.

Having a baby is a huge responsibility, and completely life changing. Make sure you have your ducks in a row first like good steady employment. Finishing any plans for education etc.
 
Feb 4, 2017 11:20 AM

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certainly I get where you are coming from....but believe me life changes after you have kids...it is no laughing matter.... kids needs father support.... So for me I think kids are like you in a mini sized mirror...sometimes you just have to experience that felling to actually know it...
 
Feb 4, 2017 11:36 AM

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kids is something that's non-negotiable

its too big of a life change.
9 months isn't that long to be together. my ex and i were together for 5 years before we broke up. we were engaged.

so if you really want kids, you need to keep talking about this until you've come to an agreement, which will probably be breaking up, i'm not going to lie. my ex wanted kids, i didn't. now she's engaged to someone else and claims to never want children so there is that possibility too, that they just might change their mind in a few years

i changed my mind too after all. i want to adopt a child, in 10 to 15 years.
 
Feb 4, 2017 11:39 AM

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All his reasons for not wanting kids are perfectly understandable. And I have the same views as he does, and he's probably not going to change his mind.

If you think whiny little kids are more important than happiness, then its pretty obvious what to do.
 
Feb 4, 2017 12:01 PM

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22 years old mom here. If he doesn't want to have kids, and he has given you solid arguments for that, sadly there is nothing you can do to change it. You can't force him. Not everyone is ready to become a parent in this world, no matter the age. Plus, having a child with a father who will probably not be close with them, or will be constantly annoyed by their presence it's not a good thing. He surely wouldn't like to feel that way about his own children so he'd rather not having any. Parenthood is something that must be desired by both parties.
I can't tell you to break up with him, nor can I tell you to remain by his side and refrain from having kids. It's all up to you. You just gotta do what makes you happier.


 
Feb 4, 2017 12:13 PM

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I'm starting to think your boyfriend an idiot for getting into this mess in the first place. If he never wanted children, he should have brought it up much earlier than he did then. In the meantime, you're going to need to show your boyfriend respect and try and make a compromise if anything by holding off the notion of having kids until he is personally ready to. Having kids is probably better when you've been married and together for longer than 5 or so years and steady in chemistry.
"If you died, would anyone care? Would they really care? Maybe, they'd cry for a day. But, let's be honest no one would give a shit. They wouldn't. The few people that would feel obligated to go to your funeral would probably be annoyed and leave as early as possible. That's who you are. That's what you are. You are nothing to anyone. To everyone."
-Mr. Robot

"I can take another name, and build a new life.. But on the inside I'll always have that instinct, no matter how much I hate it. I'm yakuza through and through. Guile only gets you so far in this game. Remember that. You won't get another chance."
-Kiryu Kazuma
 
Feb 4, 2017 12:13 PM
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Am I the only guy here that actually wants a kid?

I noticed, but how come so many people dislike kids on anime sites? Something I have picked up on.
 
Feb 4, 2017 12:43 PM

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my gf started bringing up the topic when she was still 18. we agreed to talk about it once both of us finish our studies. when she's done i plan on using the career-first argument and that she wouldn't have enough time as a doctor anyway. hopefully that works, otherwise i'll leave her
there is no reason why one should have children. they cost money, are dirty, loud and many other things.
why not buy a dog instead?


Demi_V said:
I'm black and he's white


isn't that like THE best reason why you two shouldn't have children?!


 
Feb 4, 2017 12:59 PM

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Sounds like a sensible guy. You're delusional if you think kids are "wonderful".
 
Feb 4, 2017 1:08 PM

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Nigami_Shin said:


Demi_V said:
I'm black and he's white


isn't that like THE best reason why you two shouldn't have children?!


lol i know someone gonna bring up this


@Demi_V are you aware if you get kids then you are no longer virgin ?

 
Feb 4, 2017 1:11 PM

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There's more than one person out there. No need to settle for something you don't want just because youre used to it
 
Feb 4, 2017 1:28 PM

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Having kids is a huggggggggggggge commitment. I don't have kids myself to speak personally from but do have 3 older sisters who have just started their families, and lots of stories to tell from babysitting and my sister; waking up at 3 am to feed the little shit, change him, stop him from crying, then having to go to work the next day without much sleep, making sure the little shit doesn't hurt himself which happens all the time anyways even when you very attentive, etc. That little shit you produce will have to be your priority number one period. Your social/personal life goes out the window unless you are one of those fortunate to have great support from your parents or lots of money for daycare/nannies, and even then time to yourself is very limited if you both work. You are basically living for another human being. I'm not saying kids are bad or anything, but both of you have to be emotionally prepared for such a leap, and it's a GIANT LEAP. I think people don't understand the magnitude of having children, go into parenthood unprepared, which will likely end up with disastrous results.

The keyword here is sacrifice. If both of you ain't willing to sacrifice it ain't going to work. I'm much more appreciative of my parents now that things have come full circle.

Tbh i think the reasons your boyfriend listed are cop out reasons especially the 4th reason. Stop it with the melodrama about resources and overpopulation. That's some teenage shit tbh....... Probability of your kid inheriting something bad or dying prematurely is what ALL parents have to risk experiencing. Do not worry about things you have no control over. The first reason is understandable. Kids are little shits, but hey if it's yours it is probably different.
Modified by zzzeally, Feb 4, 2017 1:39 PM

 
Feb 4, 2017 1:31 PM

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Kagami said:
Am I the only guy here that actually wants a kid?

I noticed, but how come so many people dislike kids on anime sites? Something I have picked up on.


I want kids. Eventually. But it is a commitment that will change your life, so..





Three things cannot be long hidden..
...the s u n, the m oo n, and the tr u th.


 
Feb 4, 2017 1:32 PM

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Demi_V said:

His reasons for not wanting kids:
1. They annoy him. You can tell by the look on his face when he's near a crying child.
2. He had a rough childhood and does not want to risk his kids growing up unhappy.
3. We both have depression, and I have severe bipolar disorder. "What if our kids inherit the same genes? What if our kids come home one day, and you're having one of your episodes and not acting like 'yourself'?" (My argument is if I'm medicated and going through treatment, I'll be fine. Plus ppl with bipolar disorder can have kids just like anyone else.)
4. The BIG one: He says the world is evil. It's overpopulated, and food and resources are scarce. He views bringing a kid into the world to be a cruel and selfish act.

Thank you.

If I may say so, it seems that you're being delusional as fuck.
I'm in no position to delve deeper in the matter, but I can sympathize with the points he addressed. I'd rather not have children at all than let them grow unhappy, besides you shouldn't take his behavior at its face value unless he clearly states he hates the guts of kids. I don't hate children but I have my reasons to refuse having them, in fact I'd rather enjoy my life with my partner to the fullest. Perhaps you should discuss more with your partner instead of turning to the users on this forum. Anyway, I believe you're being selfish, and it goes without saying that you can't compel one to change their mindset, so at the end of the day, if the thing takes a turn for the worst, either break up with him or forget about having kids. Don't even think about forcing him, it will only anger him more.
"Now, come here. So long as we hold hands, we won't be separated."
 
Feb 4, 2017 1:45 PM

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gisselle said:
22 years old mom here.

You are a med student AND a mother?! You are so brave and strong! Congratulations! Keep moving forward!

Kagami said:
Am I the only guy here that actually wants a kid?

I'm in a "meh, whatever" position about them. I've had to take care of my little cousins for quite some time and the thoughts "I hate this little bastards" and "I love this little bastards" have been equally present hahahahah but I swear I don't get the "NO WAY!" position at all. Even if it's going to be a big big really big pain in the ass, how in hell can you say no to the thought of a mini-version of the girl you love so much?! If being a mother is really important for your partner, and you love her and want her to be happy, how in hell can you tell her no?

Demi_V said:
3. We both have depression, and I have severe bipolar disorder. "What if our kids inherit the same genes? What if our kids come home one day, and you're having one of your episodes and not acting like 'yourself'?" (My argument is if I'm medicated and going through treatment, I'll be fine. Plus ppl with bipolar disorder can have kids just like anyone else.)

Isn't this kind of a big big red flag? I have read stories of kids who have really suffered due to having a mother with bipolar disorder and depression

By the time he's 30, he said it'll be hard for him to find a soulmate.

lol how? There are people in their 40s finding their soulmates
If I can put some "hope" in your relationship, my dad didn't want to have kids and my mom and him break up over this. Eventually he changed his mind, they got back together, aaand here I am. My dad always said he "was an idiot for not wanting to have kids at first"
 
Feb 4, 2017 1:52 PM
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@Demi_V

First reaction is adoption as a compromise. It won't negate 1. and 2. but 3. and 4.
 
Feb 4, 2017 2:10 PM

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Demi_V said:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. This is Relationship #2 for both of us, and we feel like we're meant to be together. There's just one problem. He doesn't want kids.

My dream is to have a family, but he absolutely hates kids. Throughout the term of this relationship, I've been trying to convince him why kids are wonderful, and he's been trying to convince me that we'd be happier with it just being the two of us the rest of our lives traveling and doing whatever we want. Last night, it got serious.

He was stern and got really upset. "I'm not having kids," he said. "If you plan on trying to talk me into it or trick me into having kids, you can forget about it right now." He mentioned that we're almost at our 1-year anniversary, so it's time to start having this discussion. I'm 24; he's 26. He said he plans on marrying me in the next 4 years, but the last thing he wants is for me to state during the engagement or the marriage that I want to have kids and end everything. By the time he's 30, he said it'll be hard for him to find a soulmate.

His reasons for not wanting kids:
1. They annoy him. You can tell by the look on his face when he's near a crying child.
2. He had a rough childhood and does not want to risk his kids growing up unhappy.
3. We both have depression, and I have severe bipolar disorder. "What if our kids inherit the same genes? What if our kids come home one day, and you're having one of your episodes and not acting like 'yourself'?" (My argument is if I'm medicated and going through treatment, I'll be fine. Plus ppl with bipolar disorder can have kids just like anyone else.)
4. The BIG one: He says the world is evil. It's overpopulated, and food and resources are scarce. He views bringing a kid into the world to be a cruel and selfish act.

There's only one possible reason I should probably not have kids. If I have a child and something bad happens to him or her, especially if he/she dies, I fear that I would become so depressed that I'll commit suicide or die of heartbreak. I do not see myself handling that well at all.

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. He said he doesn't want me to be unhappy growing up with him not having kids like I want, so he wants me to think long and hard about it. This really upsets me, b/c I want to experience parenthood. Also, (I know this is dumb) I really want to know what our kids would look like, since I'm black and he's white. He is the best guy I ever dated, and I love him so much. It's just this one thing we can't agree on. I definitely don't want to bring a child into the world, and their dad doesn't love them.

I'm seeking advice and asking for a friend. Do I need to consider ending the relationship because of this?

Thank you.


8+ years here and my girl does not want kids at all in the first 3 years of the relationship. After the 5 year mark she has been coming around. Note that I actually couldn't care less but the point is that his opinion could change or it could not.

If children are the be all end all, break it. You obviously care more about having kids then the person who would be having them with you. You have to ask yourself what is more important, him or you having kids. Pick.
 
Feb 4, 2017 2:16 PM
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Feb 5, 2017 12:27 AM

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You know you've reached an all time low when you turn to mal for relationship advice

I was recently dumped, like a little over two weeks ago. I'm trying desperately to move on, but it's been pretty difficult. I did the whole cut him out of your life, no contact, etc, but that only lasted a week. We go to college together and have the same friend group and me avoiding him was creating serious rifts. So now we're talking again, but it's making it really hard to move on because I see him so often and still have feelings for him. I mean, it's not like I can just turn off a switch and go from seeing him as "my boyfriend" to just "a friend". And it's not helping that he sends me such mixed signals... we kissed last week, on his birthday, and yesterday night we went out drinking and he kept hugging me and wrapping his arms around my waist... I already knew he didn't want to get back together and that I was deluding myself, but I couldn't help holding onto hope... I had a nice little reality check today when I heard he was going to a party to "grind on girls". My first reaction was anger, but I don't have a right to be angry. And yet, I think I'd feel like I was being unfaithful to him if our roles were reversed -- but we're not even dating anymore! What is wrong with me?! I hate being this whiny pathetic desperate girl who can't stop pining after her ex... I've dreamt about him for three days straight. How do I get through this? Should I go after new guys? Decrease contact with him? Is time really the only cure?? How long is this pain supposed to last :'(


 
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