My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected (light novel)
| ...no. Being nice is a positive personality trait. I hate bitches. If someone is nice, I can usually have a pleasant conversation with them. If someone is a bitch, then it's usually just them screaming and me cracking smartass comments. Not healthy. I think Hikki is a great MC, but I don't share his views. |
Waruineko said: Shouldn't we be nice to everyone? No. The only proper human interaction is to hiss at them while they pass you by. |
| Let's go bowling. |
Waruineko said: Shouldn't we be nice to everyone? As I've said countless times, I don't agree with being nice to everyone, even if it's for a greater good. There are pathetic creatures like me, who will get the wrong idea and both parties will be hurt in the end. Being nice to everyone is the same problem as being rude towards everyone, it's just a facade. There is no way you can be friendly with everyone and there sure is someone you dislike, so pretending to be nice to someone you don't truly feel like being nice to is as wrong as directly and impolitely telling them to get away from you. |
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| Well, I agree with Hachiman because of his reasons!! If someone nice to you just because he/she had a debt or pitying you it's almost he/she lied to you.. It's called false hope? So, niceness is lie..Anyway Hachiman is experienced XD Waruineko said: Shouldn't we be nice to everyone? I agree with you^^ But it's not the topic I guess? |
"Signature removed"   |
Have you ever felt this way? Nope. It's one's fault that they're increasing their own expectations. Even though I admit I got friendzoned once or twice, I never thought of hating nice girls. |
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| Some how, I felt bad for those who work hard to be nice to everyone yet called as hypocrite. I do not really know how to explain(even if I do explain, people won't listen anyway), but I know something just doesn't sound right. Have hope guys, that is the reason why we are born for ... |
MorningGloryMay 10, 2013 7:45 AM
| Somewhat..... |
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Ascius said: Waruineko said: Shouldn't we be nice to everyone? Being nice to everyone is the same problem as being rude towards everyone, it's just a facade. There is no way you can be friendly with everyone and there sure is someone you dislike, so pretending to be nice to someone you don't truly feel like being nice to is as wrong as directly and impolitely telling them to get away from you. No it isn't. Putting on a facade of politeness and kindness isn't wrong, it's actually always the right thing to do. If someone takes it the wrong way, it's their fault. Being impolite is wrong because it exposes a truth about your feelings, feelings that should change. Being polite, even when it's not how you "really" feel, is choosing to ignore the wrong feeling (of being an asshole). Not comparable at all. |
| Let's go bowling. |
StopDropAndBowl said: Being impolite is wrong because it exposes a truth about your feelings, feelings that shouldchange . Being polite, even when it's not how you "really" feel, is choosing to ignore the wrong feeling (of being an asshole). Not comparable at all. So basically you are saying that deception is justifiable, because you get not to look like an asshole? Well I better be an asshole than pretend to be friendly with someone I don't want to be around me. I'd like people to do the same, if they hate me or dislike me for one reason or another, good, it's perfectly normal. That person can ignore me, or tell me it to my face, call me whatever, chances are I've been called pretty much anything so I couldn't care anymore, but it will be worked out and we can never see each others face again. If someone dislikes me, I don't want them to circle around me for some reason or another, I don't want friends or anything, I couldn't care less if they are nice or polite to me, so whats the reason? It's all for their own sake then or what? |
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Ascius said: StopDropAndBowl said: Being impolite is wrong because it exposes a truth about your feelings, feelings that shouldchange . Being polite, even when it's not how you "really" feel, is choosing to ignore the wrong feeling (of being an asshole). Not comparable at all. So basically you are saying that deception is justifiable, because you get not to look like an asshole? Well I better be an asshole than pretend to be friendly with someone I don't want to be around me. I'd like people to do the same, if they hate me or dislike me for one reason or another, good, it's perfectly normal. That person can ignore me, or tell me it to my face, call me whatever, chances are I've been called pretty much anything so I couldn't care anymore, but it will be worked out and we can never see each others face again. If someone dislikes me, I don't want them to circle around me for some reason or another, I don't want friends or anything, I couldn't care less if they are nice or polite to me, so whats the reason? It's all for their own sake then or what? You're mistaking honesty for rudeness. You can be completely honest without being rude, and even if you don't feel like being polite, it is always the right thing to do. Being polite doesn't mean jumping at every chance to be with a person or going out of your way to talk to them, it just means you don't act rudely toward them. And yes, deception is okay when the alternative is being an asshole. Ideally, no one would have any rude feelings whatsoever, but this isn't utopia, and we're all humans. Sometimes you can't help the way you feel, but that doesn't mean that this gives you the right to be a dick whenever you're in a bad mood or just because life took a shit in your cereal that morning. The right thing to do is buck up, put your grown-up pants on, and deal with it. Nobody else should have to deal with you're little problems or drama. I work with a couple people who I can't stand on a personal level. I would never hang out with them, ever. I would do quite a bit to avoid ever meeting up with them in any situation outside of work. But when I work with them I put those feelings aside and I act politely. I say please when I need them to do something, I say thank you when they do it, and if they make small talk, I make small talk back. It's probably the biggest part of what makes someone an adult: being able to swallow their feelings, even if they don't want to. Being unable to do so is childish at best. If you don't want friends, and you don't want politeness and kindness, tough shit. The world doesn't need to revolve around you; in fact, a large part of growing up is learning that most of the time you need to revolve around the world with a smile on your face and a good-natured attitude, whether you like it or not. There is a good reason why social conventions exist, and whether or not we enjoy being a part of them or even think they should exist is irrelevant. |
| Let's go bowling. |
StopDropAndBowl said: Ascius said: Waruineko said: Shouldn't we be nice to everyone? Being nice to everyone is the same problem as being rude towards everyone, it's just a facade. There is no way you can be friendly with everyone and there sure is someone you dislike, so pretending to be nice to someone you don't truly feel like being nice to is as wrong as directly and impolitely telling them to get away from you. No it isn't. Putting on a facade of politeness and kindness isn't wrong, it's actually always the right thing to do. If someone takes it the wrong way, it's their fault. Being impolite is wrong because it exposes a truth about your feelings, feelings that should change. Being polite, even when it's not how you "really" feel, is choosing to ignore the wrong feeling (of being an asshole). Not comparable at all. So being truthful is wrong and falsehood is right? No, not at all. Lack of honestly is one of the reasons why people are so shit. |
Vanisher said: So being truthful is wrong and falsehood is right? No, not at all. Lack of honestly is one of the reasons why people are so shit. If the truth is that you feel like throwing a tantrum (acting impolitely for whatever reason), than yes, being truthful about your feelings is wrong. Covering up those feelings is right. Why should I have to deal with someone being rude to me? I don't care if they have some great reason to be rude. Suck it up. The same goes for other people when I'm in a bad mood, or when I just don't like them. They shouldn't have to deal with my tantrums because I'm not a baby anymore. The time for throwing fits ends when you get out of diapers. Being an adult means being able to feel like crap on the inside but keep a smile on your face on the outside. The truth is that a lot of times, I hate people. I despise talking to them, I despise being around them, and I despise them for being around me. A lot of times I want to tell them to shut up and leave me alone. But when I do that, I realize that I've done something wrong. I've put my issues on them. I've made them responsible for my feelings when only I should be responsible for them. A lack of honesty is bad, yes. A lack of tact or self-control is just as bad, and sometimes it's worse. People who feel like they have some special right to let the whole world know how they feel are displaying incredibly childish, selfish behavior. The news-flash of the century: the world doesn't, and shouldn't care about your feelings unless those feelings are positive. If you think someone is an asshole, avoid them. If you can't avoid them, deal with it. If you can't deal with it, then politely ask them to adjust their attitude. If they don't... deal with it or walk away. Being impolite back is what little kids who don't know any better do. |
| Let's go bowling. |
| Having read through most of the previous page, I felt this needs clarifying: it isn't wrong for a female to be nice to a male, with no romantic intentions. Equally, it isn't wrong for a male to feel hurt when they misinterpret a female being friendly as being something more. It's simply a shitty situation to find yourself in, whichever end you're on, but particularly if the male in question isn't the outgoing sort. For example, I mentioned Onani Master in my previous post and the girl had no malicious intent... and yet, the male lead still ended up hurt so much that readers could genuinely feel for him and understand why he wanted revenge. It's just one of those things. Puberty separates the boys from the girls naturally because of these types of situations arising once gender becomes an issue. About natural arseholism vs. natural kindness, this debate reminds me of a largely unimportant aspect of a film called Slimido. In it criminals were placed on an island and given military training. One of the military trainers was a hardarse; being dickish to the extent he ripped up the picture of one guy's mother in front of him. Another, younger trainer was kind and friendly towards the prisoners. But, once the situation became do-or-die over killing the criminals or being killed themselves if they didn't, the nice, friendly guy was quick to decide that they should kill the criminals... where as the dickish trainer argued against killing them and got seriously angry over how happy the nice guy was to go along with a plan to kill people they'd known for over a year or two. The point is, if someone is an arsehole, there's no two ways about it: they are how they act. All you'd get from being dickishly honest about your feelings is dislike. But if someone is only ever nice, never going against the flow, then they're more than likely trying to avoid confrontation. Red Keys' made a post or two about this, using himself as an example. It's far easier to be friendly to people than it is to be honest. |
| I'm not someone who can easily say I hate a person... though it goes that way to for love. I say I can relate, but not so. |
| A city's greatness is determined by the speed of its internet connection. |
| I'm one of these "nice guys" there. Only recently I said something like "you're trash, no one cares about you, even your friends", and was only one time. I was always like this, but my mindset don't allow me to make such a illusion to any person. I already hurted a lot of people alredy, I think. Sorry for my grammar. |
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| Hachiman is basically the guy I always wanted to be... Honest with my feelings, not belonging to the "in" crowd, and many other things. In middle school, I was the goody two-shoes, who was nice to everyone. Only when I entered my 3rd year, that I learned to become more true to my heart. I would pass off hints to people I don't like that I don't want to be with them or need their sympathy. I would become more unsociable, little by little. (In my freshman high school year, I didn't make friends until a few months in, like Hachiman. I know... it's sad.) The only reason why so many girls would talk to me was because of how I look like a complete loner (I have dead fish eyes like Hachiman...). I feel more hurt from their kindness than I did, feeling happy. Right now, I'm being more honest with myself and telling people I don't want to be with, that I don't want to have anything to do with them. Hachiman right now is one of my favorite characters of the season and of all the animes I've seen so far. His attitude and personality is what I've always wanted to be and starting to become. Honestly, this anime is practically bringing out my true feelings. So basically, I completely agree with the monologue. |
xsilicon9 said: I can't stand people who are fake nice. I tend to rip them apart. Of course I don't pretend to be nice or lie. If there is something I don't like about someone I will either tell them or won't bother saying anything.But I won't sit around and pretend to be nice.I've never ended up in the friendzone or any nonsense like that. If I wanted to go out with someone or have sex with them. I'm not going to try to be their friend which is what some of you guys probably did. You should let them know your intentions off the bat. If they turn you down then move on and if she asks if you both can just be friends. Turn her down. Don't be pathetic and keep hoping that she will change her mind while she bangs one guy after another and tells you about her relationship problems. I don't know why some guys subject themselves to that. Reminds me of a friend from high school I had that asked out this girl and was turned down so he tried to be her friend. Bottling his anger with her when she goes out with other guys while acting as her friend.We were hanging out and he told me this girl was asking about dating me and then he just went on a rant about how this chick kept ignoring him and going for all these guys.I told him to calm down and move on. There are millions of women in this world. Why would you obsess over one?Of course to be fair it isn't just girls that do this but guys also. Judging from your text, you and your friend are two completely different types of people in this regard, with completely different ways of thinking. There is no point in trying to push your ideals onto him. He wouldn't be able to act the way you do just as you cannot understand the way he behaved. |
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xsilicon9 said: If they turn you down then move on and if she asks if you both can just be friends. Turn her down. Don't be pathetic and keep hoping that she will change her mind while she bangs one guy after another and tells you about her relationship problems. Oh, do share. How would you turn someone like that down? If someone asks you: - 'But we can still be friends, right?' Would you say no to that? You can't just say no to that, because if you do, your plight would be unveiled as something hollow. After all, how can you want to be in a relationship with someone you don't even want to be friends with? You can't. I can imagine saying yes and then just avoiding her --that seems to be the standard practice-- but outright saying no? Whatever will she think? Don't you ever think about that? Not criticizing just curious. |
| "Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise" |
Remus_Lupa said: If someone asks you: - 'But we can still be friends, right?' Would you say no to that? You can't just say no to that, because if you do, your plight would be unveiled as something hollow. After all, how can you want to be in a relationship with someone you don't even want to be friends with? You can't. I can imagine saying yes and then just avoiding her --that seems to be the standard practice-- but outright saying no? Whatever will she think? Don't you ever think about that? Not criticizing just curious. You can and should say no to still being friends. To get to the situation where you believe that a woman is interested in you romantically and she believes it is just platonic means that the friendship went off the rails somewhere in the past, and that there has been a longstanding misunderstanding. You are not even really in a friendship at that point: you were in what you thought was a budding romance with the person you thought she was, and she was in what she thought was a friendship with the person she thought you were. Continuing from that is purely masochism. The proper way to handle it is to be honest. Say something to the effect of "No, I can't be your friend. Not right now. Maybe at some point in the future, if I can stop seeing you as the girl I wanted to date. Otherwise, you'll make me miserable without knowing it and I'll end up saying something hurtful, and it would all be over anyway. You are a really good person, and I enjoyed our time together, but we want different things." |
Kitchiri said: Hell no. You can live on without having friends - and it is nothing embarrassing about it. There are people who think social life is nothing more than bothersome and forcing social life to them is just shitty intention. Hell no. A life of complete loneliness is worse than hell. It's one thing if you only keep the select few friends that you already have and don't make an effort of making new ones(my standard), but neither having any nor trying to make any is a whole different matter. Eventually, you'd feel like dying... |
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Naoki-Saten said: Kitchiri said: Hell no. You can live on without having friends - and it is nothing embarrassing about it. There are people who think social life is nothing more than bothersome and forcing social life to them is just shitty intention. Hell no. A life of complete loneliness is worse than hell. It's one thing if you only keep the select few friends that you already have and don't make an effort of making new ones(my standard), but neither having any nor trying to make any is a whole different matter. Eventually, you'd feel like dying... I blame the stupid sheep-instinct that exists in every human! And "friend-zone" = "herd of sheep". Those who override their sheep-instinct are instantly "different". /society |
I almost never read discussions after I made my post, if you want to reply PM me or post on my profile page. |
| I disagree with this and am amazed so many people have a problem with nice girls. WTF, if you are too thick to realize the obvious is not the girls fault. How hopeless are you people that you actually don't care about girls being bitches because you won't talk to them anyway so it's better if they don't seem nice and give you silly hopes by looking at them. Why would i want a bitch that responds with some obnoxious insulting comment when i ask her out or ask for her number? A nice girl can still deny you but not being an annoying snotty bitch. |
Monad said: I disagree with this and am amazed so many people have a problem with nice girls. WTF, if you are too thick to realize the obvious is not the girls fault. How hopeless are you people that you actually don't care about girls being bitches because you won't talk to them anyway so it's better if they don't seem nice and give you silly hopes by looking at them. Why would i want a bitch that responds with some obnoxious insulting comment when i ask her out or ask for her number? A nice girl can still deny you but not being an annoying snotty bitch. Is that the impression you get from this topic? I won't re-read all of it, but I actually got the impression that most people here don't actually hate nice girls. Just that they are a bit hard to deal with - due to our own shortcomings. And we even have a few representatives of the nice bunch themselves here, which is quite a contribution to the topic. And then... you're talking about extremes - either 'nice' or 'annoying, snotty bitch'. Black and white. But there's a big gray ocean in-between. So if people say that nice girls are tough to have around, it doesn't mean they favor the opposite of that - namely unfriendly bitches who insult them. It's just that false hope brings pain to some people. |
Naoki-SatenMay 20, 2013 2:39 PM
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Naoki-Saten said: "Not really" Being a loner myself, I can relate to Hikigaya's monologue. However, I myself do not hate nice girls. Being nice is part of some people's personality. Having as many friends as possible is a rather natural desire, especially among girls. Heck, I had classmates for who, flirting was part of an everyday conversation. I doubt they noticed that themselves. There is no malice there, therefore I have no reason to feel hatred. Of course, it's hard for me to be around those people and it gets really awkward if they are extremely friendly. Once again, that's not something I would hate them over, even though I'm totally incompatible with them. Hikigaya's problem is that he easily gets the wrong idea if girls act friendly towards him. Being a pessimist, I have already lost the ability to get the wrong Idea, so friendly types don't bother me as much as they do him. Also, I have not been 'bitten' the way Hikigaya was, so maybe my opinion would be different if I suffered the same way he did. What I hate are hypocrites. The types who act all friendly around pretty much anyone even though they don't care about half of them and hate the guts of the other half. Those people who merely put on an act in order to be popular or to be the center of attention really do piss me off. ^ What this man said. I could detect hypocrites pretty fast, so it didn't take a long time to differentiate them. |
| The less friends you have, the less enemies you will have. |
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| had been experiencing this kind of situation like since 5 years ago.. and stopped caring. experienced a lot of hate and depression, eventually i just lost all my self confidence to interact with people.. hachiman is at least lucky that he's surrounded by tht much of people who are willing to share that 'kindness' to him.. i just ended up being a hateful(pessimist?) person そう、熊がなりたいっだ |
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| You people just don't get it, do you? You need to carve Hachiman's teachings into your mind, make them your mantra and you're going to be fine. Along with Keima's words of wisdom. Everytime someone is nice to you, just say to yourself "I hate nice girls because they're nice, 3D is just a shitty game..." <- just like that. After a while you will develop your own pair of rotten eyes and you will be able to see the reality for what it really is. |
     -=Real, 100% Lelouch Lamperouge Zealot=- |
| I think people are taking it too literally. Yui is a nice girl, and Hachiman doesn't hate her. Hachiman hates the concept of nice girls, and not because they are nice to everyone. He hates them because he is weak against them. It is easy to forget that they are just generally nice rather than specifically nice to you, and so it is easy to misunderstand their intentions. In short, you deceive yourself. For someone like Hachiman, self-deception is the worst. |
| (◕〝◕) I really don't get it, why do guys seem to interpret it as feelings of affection when a girl is nice to them? If that was the sole basis of affection, per se. Then wouldn't the concept of tsunderes and the such be an invalid format of love, right? What Hachiman's outlook on this topic is a positive sign that some are still not way in over their head, to think that a "nice girl" like them (° д °). I'm not being condescending or something, it just seem that these days people make these ridiculous assumptions that it makes having a natural girl-guy relationship hard... The fear of being friend-zoned, dumped, etc. are clear examples. The problem really could not be pointed on either party though. Guys - most are easily suggested(often coupled by self-deceit) to think that the girl nice to them likes them; the minority do not rationalize and is on the same track as hachiman. Girls - most are nice(lol)... and tolerate misunderstandings; the minority(or not on some cases) avoid men. If this is the dilemma, the by-product would be most girls should be only friends with girls and guys to guys(HachimanxTotsuka lol). The only entete I could muster would be either living in a basement XD or do not let your imagination go rampant, practice being open to the opposite party to avoid messy outcomes early(Warning A Riaju Solution, my loner one is on the bottom). The answer is rather easy and takes common sense, a sense which is not common, and in the end Hachiman is special and he's awesome. Ironically this anime rid me of my loner part and become my catharsis... blah...blah...blah untara kantara nantoka... love the show ;tldr. what was I thinking? My Definition of a Nice Girl Nice - Pleasing and agreeable in nature. + Girl = If a girl is nice to everyone its an innate disease(...in nature), thus being thinheaded on the guy's part is the key to avoid this... trap? All Riaju Should Go To Hell (*´ω`*) >This is how its done... extend the leash between the nice girls and yourself early on. Whence this happen they would not see the need to be nice to you or not get to(mostly not get to do so), but just in case they can due to some forced event... deal with it accordingly like feigning sickness etc., or simply tell them to go die(≥∇≤). |
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| So if guys hate nice girls, then girls should start being cold to them? |
miwamilton said: So if guys hate nice girls, then girls should start being cold to them? i think it depends on how nice the girl is. if she's too nice, it's abnormal... makes guys wonder, no? . _. |
| I'm an nice girl i think but not nice too everybody just, to people that want to talk to me, normaly i'm cold and distance, but i had a lot of guys friends, and i think i didn't put them in friend zone cuz i think they didn' had any feelings for me, well they never say it so, i had one guy that was my friend and we declares to me and i say to him that for me he was just an friend, but he didn't give up so i give him an change, i'm with him about 3 years now, of course i can't be an nice girl to him anymore, but he says that he loves my bad side too. Nice girls have an bad side too, the only diference is that they only show very rarelly to people but if they show to you is because you are especial and if you like them even with bad side, then they will love you, nice girls are nice to every one cuz they have afraid of being judge and criticize so they try to make every only likes them, nice girls normaly had bad experiences in giving their opinion so they try do agree with every one and don't show they opinion, nice girls normaly are very sensitive with others peoples opinions about their opinion. |
| People need to stop being Idealistic and learn to understand one's character. That's the only thing that's right. Don't ever try to force yourself to understand them, cause that might be even worse, but you should already know that if you knew them right? But the fact is, you'll never fully understand a person, ever. Depressing? Am I telling you to not even try? Naw, just don't get your hopes up, and let it go. Life goes on. |
| Please send me a message/profile comment since I will most likely not check my forum posts. Thank you. |
| For me, I don't see any reason to hate anybody, including nice girls. Some levels of attraction is unavoidable due to their really nice nature, from my own experience, but I just kept them in check and moved on. AnimangaGirl said: I'm an nice girl i think but not nice too everybody just, to people that want to talk to me, normaly i'm cold and distance, but i had a lot of guys friends, and i think i didn't put them in friend zone cuz i think they didn' had any feelings for me, well they never say it so, i had one guy that was my friend and we declares to me and i say to him that for me he was just an friend, but he didn't give up so i give him an change, i'm with him about 3 years now, of course i can't be an nice girl to him anymore, but he says that he loves my bad side too. Nice girls have an bad side too, the only diference is that they only show very rarelly to people but if they show to you is because you are especial and if you like them even with bad side, then they will love you, nice girls are nice to every one cuz they have afraid of being judge and criticize so they try to make every only likes them, nice girls normaly had bad experiences in giving their opinion so they try do agree with every one and don't show they opinion, nice girls normaly are very sensitive with others peoples opinions about their opinion. I am afraid for (not "of") nice and easily agreeable girls. I do hope they give more of their opinions and say no more often, especially to activities or events they dislike. I worry that people will take advantage of them, like borrowing money or something worse. |
| A friend and I started ShoukoChan Anime T-shirts. We design modern and fashionable anime T-shirts you'd love to wear on a day out. Come check us out! |
| Y'know when I was in high school every girl was something special, really! They were all so good to me, those in the years below and those in the years above, even as I was attending school and girls changed year after year.. Sure there were some that could be a bit cruel at times but hey, who isn't? Not once did I ever misinterpret or misunderstand any of their feelings or intentions. Maybe I'm just lucky.. No, probably. Fast forward 4 years! I was able to meet a very nice girl, probably the kind of girl that everyone in this thread has mentioned. As with all of my friends I went through the motions of having dinner with, seeing movies with etc. A kindness like this I thought was unheard of, I didn't think anything of it but it did make me consider her a better friend. But then.. Good luck to you all with your endeavors. |
| Just walk don't run drink juice yum yum! |
14394 said: --- snip --- Hipster yolo swaggerboy!8676719@(!@&^&!! I-It's not like I wanted to be the cool kid or anything like that. (◕ᴥ◕し) |
| I almost never read discussions after I made my post, if you want to reply PM me or post on my profile page. |
| I don't know what to say...gut feeling is that Hikigaya-san is right. Lol. I don't think his intention is to blame nice girls for anything though. It's just a natural inclination to feel happy and then expect more when somebody is nice to us. |
| There's two kinds of people you can't win an argument against: One - Too dumb to tell right from wrong. Two - Too stubborn to admit they are wrong. |
| Wow reading these posts really opened my eyes in several ways. |
| I dunno. All of my experiences with girls have been rather messy, to say the least. Then again, I don't care for relationships in the first place. Not worth dating someone during high school, lmfao. |
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| A person like that is definitely gay and masochist. |
I luv u |
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