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Lawyer’s former lover ‘tried to kill him with 38DD breasts’

#1
Dec 13, 2012 6:04 PM

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Tim Schmidt, 30, claims 33-year-old Franziska Hansen wanted to kill him out of jealousy at his successful career.

The lawyer alleges his ex tried to smother him with her breasts while ‘pretending it was a sex game’.

Hansen has denied the charge of ‘attempted manslaughter with a weapon’.

Mr Schmidt is quoted by the Daily Mail as telling the German court: ‘The incident happened in May – we were having sex.

‘She was sitting on me naked and I was kissing her breasts. Suddenly she grabbed my head and pushed between her breasts with all of her force.

‘I couldn’t breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn’t tear myself free and I thought I was going to die.’

The 30-year-old said he managed to eventually free himself and fled naked to a neighbour who instructed him to ring the police.

Source: http://metro.co.uk/2012/11/22/lawyers-former-lover-tried-to-kill-him-with-38dd-breasts-541032/
 
#2
Dec 13, 2012 6:10 PM
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I never really saw why people like big breasts, if they are natural then they are just mounds of fat. Personally I like them small.
 
#3
Dec 13, 2012 6:13 PM

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I think it's plausable. Something unorthodox like that would surely inspire a great CSI episode, too.

 
#4
Dec 13, 2012 6:16 PM
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Sounds kinky.
 
#5
Dec 13, 2012 6:19 PM

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What a weak man.
 
#6
Dec 13, 2012 6:28 PM

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Well, it's definitely not the WORST way to die.
 
#7
Dec 13, 2012 6:38 PM

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So tits are weapons now...
As a child, I was told that society is a melting pot of talents; knowledge and experience combined to form important alloys that will contribute to mankind. When I got to highschool, however, I thought that it's more like a river in which the water represents our peers while we ourselves are the stones in the river. Constant erosion by mindless majority sheeping has made us lose our unique edge. After I hit the age of 18, I realized that I've been wrong all along. Society is no melting pot. Society is no river. Society is a person, a very skilled rapist, and he has fucked us all.
 
#8
Dec 20, 2012 6:54 AM

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Bahahaha, the irony.
 
#9
Dec 20, 2012 6:55 AM

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Verdale said:
Bahahaha, the irony.
Irony?
 
Dec 20, 2012 6:58 AM

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Jrittmayer said:
Well, it's definitely not the WORST way to die.


Thats how I want to die.
 
Dec 20, 2012 9:04 AM

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BloodRequiem said:
So tits are weapons now...


That's what they have always been.
 
Dec 20, 2012 10:13 AM

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Shuhan said:
Jrittmayer said:
Well, it's definitely not the WORST way to die.


Thats how I want to die.


It's the breast way to go.
 
Dec 20, 2012 10:15 AM

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As someone who can fit into that bra size, those boobs aren't big enough to smother someone.
 
Dec 20, 2012 10:20 AM

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I know the right person that could use a concept like this in a certain Japan only video game.

I loled at this though.


 
Dec 20, 2012 10:38 AM

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Jack_Rav said:
Verdale said:
Bahahaha, the irony.
Irony?

He's pressing charges because of her jealousy of his "successful career", but I can't envision him ever winning such a case, ie. "unsuccessful".
 
Dec 20, 2012 10:38 AM
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WIMP AWARD OF THE MILLENIUM
 
Dec 20, 2012 11:13 AM
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I don't see the 38DD breasts
 
Dec 20, 2012 12:48 PM

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+1 argument for DFC.
やがて気づく本当の気持ちは
そして 人間が大好きでした
 
Dec 20, 2012 12:51 PM

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Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this.
*Cringey anime weeb stuff*
 
Dec 21, 2012 12:39 PM

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FreakyTy said:
Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this.


I bet it's not as fun to actually die like this.
"Yes, I have been deprived of emotion. But not completely. Whoever did it, botched the job."

- Geralt of Rivia
 
Dec 21, 2012 12:49 PM

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insan3soldiern said:
FreakyTy said:
Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this.

I bet it's not as fun to actually die like this.

Yes, it must be excruciating to not be able to finish what you started.
 
Dec 21, 2012 1:00 PM

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I want to be killed by small breasts,
 
Dec 21, 2012 1:28 PM

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The fuck did I just read...
 
Dec 21, 2012 4:40 PM

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Verdale said:
insan3soldiern said:
FreakyTy said:
Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this.

I bet it's not as fun to actually die like this.

Yes, it must be excruciating to not be able to finish what you started.


That's true. But, just imagine if there was an after life of some kind and you are asked "how did you die" and your reply is "I got suffocated by fucking breasts!". Embarrassing.
"Yes, I have been deprived of emotion. But not completely. Whoever did it, botched the job."

- Geralt of Rivia
 
Dec 21, 2012 8:33 PM

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insan3soldiern said:
Verdale said:
insan3soldiern said:
FreakyTy said:
Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this.

I bet it's not as fun to actually die like this.

Yes, it must be excruciating to not be able to finish what you started.


That's true. But, just imagine if there was an after life of some kind and you are asked "how did you die" and your reply is "I got suffocated by fucking breasts!". Embarrassing.

I wonder if you'd have permanent blue balls in the afterlife... yikes!
 
Dec 22, 2012 6:34 AM

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I'm lazy to type, so I'll just quote those that said what needed to be said...
Neane1993 said:
I never really saw why people like big breasts, if they are natural then they are just mounds of fat. Personally I like them small.
BloodRequiem said:
So tits are weapons now...
TravSavage said:
Shuhan said:
Jrittmayer said:
Well, it's definitely not the WORST way to die.

Thats how I want to die.
It's the breast way to go.
shairn said:
+1 argument for DFC.
Pessoa said:
I want to be killed by small breasts,
xTheCatalyst said:
The fuck did I just read...
 
Dec 25, 2012 6:57 AM

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I agree it would be the way to die but breasts that big are just unnatural
 
Dec 28, 2012 10:44 AM

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really? people these days will do anything to get money and some attention, squeeze them melons man lol
 
Dec 28, 2012 11:01 AM
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when it finally happens to someone, it turns out he's gay
 
Jan 2, 2013 6:14 AM

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I guess he wasn't the strongest lad around. At least he can defend himself in court. :P
Our space is unlimited.
My download speed is not. :(
 
Jan 2, 2013 6:26 AM

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weaponized tits...

dear god...
 
Jan 2, 2013 6:45 AM

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And I'm wondering why I haven't read this gem yet.
 
Jan 2, 2013 3:01 PM

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Least he would of died with a smile on his face...or a horrible gasping look.
 
Jan 2, 2013 4:29 PM

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This guy watch too many anime.

 
Jan 3, 2013 6:16 AM

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SetsukoHara said:
This guy watch too many anime.



What's the name of that show? I need to know for research purposes.
Our space is unlimited.
My download speed is not. :(
 
Jan 3, 2013 6:23 AM

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I guess those were some killer tits
Come visit my town // I apologize in advance for my second-rate English

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Jan 3, 2013 6:40 AM

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SekiraX said:
SetsukoHara said:
This guy watch too many anime.



What's the name of that show? I need to know for research purposes.


Onii-chan Dakedo Ai Sae Areba Kankeinai yo ne
 
Jan 3, 2013 7:06 AM

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Hata-tan said:

‘I couldn’t breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn’t tear myself free and I thought I was going to die.’


Come on, who wouldn't want to see a lawyer in a situation like this at least once in a lifetime?
 
Jan 3, 2013 7:08 AM
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I'm sry, but this story made me laugh...
 
Jan 3, 2013 7:18 AM

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'weapon' lol'd
 
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