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Do boys really need a 'father figure' for them to grow up properly?

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Nov 5, 2012 10:41 AM

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We're a whole generation raised by woman. At this point it doesn't matter whats proper, only what is reality. Whether you want to label it as proper or not is irrelevant. It simply is what it is.
 
Nov 5, 2012 10:52 AM

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''there is probably no more terrible instant of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man - with human flesh'' --From "Collected sayings of the Mua'Dib by the Princess Irulan.
 
Nov 5, 2012 10:55 AM

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Is there even a proper way to be raised?
كنت تهدر وقتك عن طريق ترجمة هذه.


mattbenz99 said:
Christians and Satanists are technically the same thing
 
Nov 5, 2012 12:21 PM

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dankickyou said:
Shuhan said:
Nordhau5 said:
No. Male role models in life are important, but it doesn't have to be your father.

Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.

Correlation =/= causation and insinuating being gay means an improper upbringing. Don't forget to turn your clocks back 50 years y'all.


Well homosexuality isnt natural so I would say it is caused by an improper upbringing.

but homosexuality also occurs in the natural world with wild animals.


Why do we always return to this? Comparing something as complex as human sexuality to animals is kind of pointless. Especially since "animal homosexuality" is more often than not an expression of dominance. There are MUCH better ways to defend homosexuality than falling back on "omg animals do it too!"

I see absolutely nothing wrong with homosexuality. I don't think you are "born gay", it is my opinion that homosexuality can come into a being a lot of different ways and is the result of many things including but not limited to hormones, environment, and upbringing. I don't think homosexuality is genetic so I do think that it may be possible that lack of a father figure could lead to a higher propensity to be homosexual.

 
Nov 5, 2012 12:27 PM
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Please don't turn this into yet another gender thread, for the love of god we have enough of those.

I never had a father figure in my life. I do sometimes see that I am more skilled at cooking than repairing tires and whatnot, but to be honest I am me. If I were influenced by my parents that much I would be doing something else right now.
 
Nov 5, 2012 12:30 PM

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I don't know how you would define "properly", but I would say they probably don't need one. I'm sure they would turn out differently if they did though.

zeneevee said:
I see absolutely nothing wrong with homosexuality. I don't think you are "born gay", it is my opinion that homosexuality can come into a being a lot of different ways and is the result of many things including but not limited to hormones, environment, and upbringing. I don't think homosexuality is genetic so I do think that it may be possible that lack of a father figure could lead to a higher propensity to be homosexual.


A bit off-topic I guess, but I completely agree with this.
Modified by Leondre, Nov 5, 2012 12:34 PM
 
Nov 5, 2012 12:31 PM

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Karpman said:
Please don't turn this into yet another gender thread, for the love of god we have enough of those.

I never had a father figure in my life. I do sometimes see that I am more skilled at cooking than repairing tires and whatnot, but to be honest I am me. If I were influenced by my parents that much I would be doing something else right now.


Haha I second this
 
Nov 5, 2012 2:37 PM

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Watch Gurren Lagann and thats all the male role model you need.
 
Nov 5, 2012 3:14 PM

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Karpman said:
Please don't turn this into yet another gender thread, for the love of god we have enough of those.

That's precisely what it already is. It doesn't have to be turned into one.
Modified by Josh, Nov 5, 2012 3:26 PM
LoneWolf said:
@Josh - Makes me sad to call myself Canadian.
 
Nov 5, 2012 3:19 PM
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nah you don't really need a father figure to grow up properly because there are a lot of other factors that determine how you grow up
 
Nov 5, 2012 3:26 PM

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zeneevee said:
I don't think you are "born gay", it is my opinion that homosexuality can come into a being a lot of different ways and is the result of many things including but not limited to hormones, environment, and upbringing. I don't think homosexuality is genetic so I do think that it may be possible that lack of a father figure could lead to a higher propensity to be homosexual.

Do you think people are born straight? I agree with you, as long as you don't hold a double standard. If you believe certain situations might lean people towards being gay, you must also believe opposite situations might lean people towards being straight. If you believe leaning towards gayness is a bad thing, you must also believe leaning towards straightness is a bad thing. You must either opt for a sexuality/gender neutral upbringing, or agree that leaning either way is inevitable and acceptable.

By "you must" I mean, if you want your opinion to be rationally sound in my books.
LoneWolf said:
@Josh - Makes me sad to call myself Canadian.
 
Nov 5, 2012 3:28 PM

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itt gheyz
 
Nov 5, 2012 3:30 PM

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Clous said:
itt gheyz

1/5
LoneWolf said:
@Josh - Makes me sad to call myself Canadian.
 
Nov 5, 2012 3:46 PM

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I have a father figure and I still turned out to be as fabulous as a fairy farting rainbows, so obviously a daddy in your life isn't essential- though I could certainly do with one in mine, if you catch my drift!
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Nov 5, 2012 4:50 PM

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Nordhau5 said:
zeneevee said:
I don't think you are "born gay", it is my opinion that homosexuality can come into a being a lot of different ways and is the result of many things including but not limited to hormones, environment, and upbringing. I don't think homosexuality is genetic so I do think that it may be possible that lack of a father figure could lead to a higher propensity to be homosexual.

Do you think people are born straight? I agree with you, as long as you don't hold a double standard. If you believe certain situations might lean people towards being gay, you must also believe opposite situations might lean people towards being straight. If you believe leaning towards gayness is a bad thing, you must also believe leaning towards straightness is a bad thing. You must either opt for a sexuality/gender neutral upbringing, or agree that leaning either way is inevitable and acceptable.

By "you must" I mean, if you want your opinion to be rationally sound in my books.


Whoa. When the hell did I say that leaning toward gayness is a bad thing?

 
Nov 5, 2012 5:06 PM

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Sorry, I know you didn't. That bit was directed at those in this thread who have stated that view. I just used your post as a starting point, since you were talking about how being gay comes about, without mentioning straightness anywhere.
LoneWolf said:
@Josh - Makes me sad to call myself Canadian.
 
Nov 5, 2012 5:11 PM

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Yes. Girls need one too. Feminist movement is just using propaganda and trying to remove all male figures from the lives of children and teenagers.
 
Nov 5, 2012 5:16 PM

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Even as a girl, my dad was NEVER very close to me. The most I can remember us doing is him teaching me how to play softball when I was 10. He got mad when I was no good at it.

I wish that I had had a better father figure in my life. I don't trust men at all and I don't feel very comfortable around them a lot. But that was from my mom telling me that getting married is a bad idea from a very young age.

 
Nov 5, 2012 5:20 PM

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Nordhau5 said:
Sorry, I know you didn't. That bit was directed at those in this thread who have stated that view. I just used your post as a starting point, since you were talking about how being gay comes about, without mentioning straightness anywhere.


O. Ok it's all good. I do think that it more or less applies to heterosexuality as well.

mecharobot said:
Yes. Girls need one too. Feminist movement is just using propaganda and trying to remove all male figures from the lives of children and teenagers.


Umm... What?

 
Nov 5, 2012 5:24 PM

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zeneevee said:
mecharobot said:
Yes. Girls need one too. Feminist movement is just using propaganda and trying to remove all male figures from the lives of children and teenagers.


Umm... What?


What?! They're trying to remove males? Sorry but I don't exactly want to be alone on a planet with just girls ._.
 
Nov 5, 2012 5:35 PM

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mecharobot said:
Yes. Girls need one too. Feminist movement is just using propaganda and trying to remove all male figures from the lives of children and teenagers.

Have you considered the possibility that you are, in fact, a retard?
 
Nov 5, 2012 5:36 PM
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Chamry said:
zeneevee said:
mecharobot said:
Yes. Girls need one too. Feminist movement is just using propaganda and trying to remove all male figures from the lives of children and teenagers.


Umm... What?


What?! They're trying to remove males? Sorry but I don't exactly want to be alone on a planet with just girls ._.


I, on the other hand, am not as negatively predisposed to the idea.
 
Nov 5, 2012 5:50 PM
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To the op: Its up to you. This is not the kind of thing random people on the internet can weigh in on accurately. You may be past the point in your life where your father’s role actually matters. You may not. People without a father or who have terrible ones may tell you to appreciate him for what he is and I guess maybe you shouldn’t neglect the poor guy, but if you’re at such a young fragile age and he brings you down then maybe distance is better. Remember though, I am a random ass person on the internet entertaining myself with your problem. Absolutely do not listen to me.

mecharobot said:
Yes. Girls need one too. Feminist movement is just using propaganda and trying to remove all male figures from the lives of children and teenagers.


That seems overly sensitive to change.
 
Nov 5, 2012 5:54 PM

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Nowadays nobody really needs a father figure due to that most things seemed to be regulated by society and what you pick up on the net. Fatherly advice? Google can answer it before your dad can. If father figure you mean by how some can be very restrictive/authoritative or give you emotional strength, in this day and age in a lot of civilized countries it's usually the mother who wears the pants so I can't see how that would factor as a good role model for young boys. If anything, a father figure can have a reverse effect leaving the boy traumatized and as some have put, even turn out ghey or in jail.
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:01 PM
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Scrypt said:
If anything, a father figure can have a reverse effect leaving the boy traumatized and as some have put, even turn out ghey or in jail.


Experts think prenatal hormones are the most likely cause of homosexuality.

I also think you may have undersold fathers a bit. They aren't that useless. I mean c'mon. No credit at all? not even for bein' a pal?
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:07 PM

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In my life I have someone who tries to be my father figure but i can call him that cuz there is a huge disconnect between everything about us so


Most of the time I wish my mom never met him but he tries I guess. So from my point of view I never had a father figure. How can you try to look up to/down on someone if you really have nothing to say about him? For the most part my mom has tried to fill the role of father and moth but fails at the former. But it's fine even if I did have a father figure I probably would have been a socially awkward person anyway.
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Nov 5, 2012 6:26 PM

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extraspectra said:
I also think you may have undersold fathers a bit. They aren't that useless. I mean c'mon. No credit at all? not even for bein' a pal?


I'm not saying that they are(useless), I'm just pointing out that in this day and age advice is readily answered by a click of a mouse and for the most part is just as good as what a fatherly figure could give which is what OP is asking about. Unfortunately I grew up in a fatherless home due to him passing away before I could even walk so my answer will be a little bias as well but you have to admit in this day and age, what a kid needs is not a father or mother figure but just someone who can pull authority when the going gets tough and someone who actually cares for your well being(which can be anybody that's older than you)
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:47 PM

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No, you don't.
You need morals and common sense. They're learned behaviors but not exactly taught, if you catch my drift.
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:52 PM
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Scrypt said:
extraspectra said:
I also think you may have undersold fathers a bit. They aren't that useless. I mean c'mon. No credit at all? not even for bein' a pal?


I'm not saying that they are(useless), I'm just pointing out that in this day and age advice is readily answered by a click of a mouse and for the most part is just as good as what a fatherly figure could give which is what OP is asking about. Unfortunately I grew up in a fatherless home due to him passing away before I could even walk so my answer will be a little bias as well but you have to admit in this day and age, what a kid needs is not a father or mother figure but just someone who can pull authority when the going gets tough and someone who actually cares for your well being(which can be anybody that's older than you)


i see, yeah fatherly advice is overrated. i also didn't know what ghey means. i had to google it.

so you think its good to have a 'father figure'?
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:06 PM

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extraspectra said:

so you think its good to have a 'father figure'?


It really depends on what you want to achieve with your 'father figure'. I can't tell you if it'll be good or bad as that's solely up to you and whether that will make an impact on your life or not.

So instead let me ask you this: "Do you need a 'father figure' at this point in time?"(for advice or companionship) that you can't get off anyone else?
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:08 PM

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What should be even considered "growing up properly" ?
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:01 PM

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I wish I had a better father figure. I might have been more open with people and my family if it were the case.

Gotta work with what you've got though.

 
Nov 5, 2012 8:07 PM

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yes and no. it depends on the father.
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Nov 5, 2012 8:08 PM

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Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.


ಠ_ಠ
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:12 PM

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Edefrem said:
Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.


ಠ_ಠ


O.o
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:57 PM

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Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.

Mind citing them statistics?
 
Nov 5, 2012 9:14 PM

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He got them from mydiscriminationlist.net
LoneWolf said:
@Josh - Makes me sad to call myself Canadian.
 
Nov 5, 2012 9:35 PM
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Some do except if their father isn't there for them .
 
Nov 5, 2012 9:55 PM

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zeneevee said:
I do think that it may be possible that lack of a father figure could lead to a higher propensity to be homosexual.


This argument is ridiculous, because as I've said before, it constantly changes. First it was having too much of a father figure, now it's lacking one. The first one of course went out of the window long ago, hence the change of ideas.
 
Nov 5, 2012 10:41 PM

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hotd1989 said:
No, you don't.
You need morals and common sense. They're learned behaviors but not exactly taught, if you catch my drift.

this exactly, i dont really think of him as a "father figure", i personally dislike my dad ... quite alot actually - im fine and all i have is morals and common sense; if you hang out with the right crowd and dont lose yourself to the temptations of drugs and other shit then youll be fine
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Nov 5, 2012 10:44 PM
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my friend's dad left when he was very very young, and hes out really good, in college and evrything. so no.
 
Nov 5, 2012 10:44 PM

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Depends on the person filling the position of said figure. It's not necessary, like all other social factors it's either a plus or a minus, but definetely not a 0 or necessary.
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Nov 5, 2012 11:13 PM

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Yes
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Nov 6, 2012 5:52 AM

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Yes boys need good positive male role models...it doesn't have to be their father (ideally but not always possible) but definitely good male role models they can respect and learn to be 'male'. I have research into this through books and articles and I have been on work-related training courses regarding this topic (for my job as I work with pre-school aged children). As for single mothers raising boys they should ideally make sure their boys have a positive male role models in their lives whether it's through a sports coach or extended family etc someone they can look up to and respect.
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Nov 6, 2012 7:49 AM

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I don't think so, no.
 
Nov 6, 2012 8:21 AM

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BunnyKing said:
he is always saying that I'm at a point in my life were guys need an adult male figure in their life


Well, this type of assertion is related to your age. If you're really young, maybe he is simply asking to see you more: in a wrong way.

My parents are divorced and I haven't any type of problem growing up with my mother alone and later with her 2nd husband, so if you don't feel this as a problem don't let the others change your mind.

A grown-up fiducial male figure is important for a boy's as growth but this figure it is not always the father.
 
Nov 6, 2012 9:42 AM
 
Nov 6, 2012 9:54 AM

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one-more-time said:
http://deltabravo.net/cms/plugins/content/content.php?content.284


What's your point, squire?

It isn't exactly surprising that most child abuse is carried out by parents; they are the people with the most access to their children and the definition of 'abuse' is very vague.

The statistics among those who commit suicide seem funny to me too. I would rather they broke it up into categories a bit better.

It's also ignoring that other factors might contribute. For example mental disorders like depression can lead to suicide, or the breakup of marriages. It's also genetic.

And even if it is true, do we have statistics for unhappy marriages to compare? Is the solution to make divorce illegal, or what?
Modified by AnnoKano, Nov 6, 2012 9:58 AM
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Nov 6, 2012 9:57 AM

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one-more-time said:
http://deltabravo.net/cms/plugins/content/content.php?content.284


How is that relevant? It doesn't take the families condition into consideration at all. It's not about not having a father, it's about coming from a possibly violent home. Trying to pass them both off as comparable is utter nonsense.

My mother and father did not get along at all, they fought every single day, and I don't think even I remember them sharing a single room the time they were together. That is incomparable to my friend for example, whose parents split up for completely different reasons, but we're both from fatherless homes. It's not like that tiny little bit of information at the end is all that matters.
Modified by Trapalicious, Nov 6, 2012 10:04 AM
 
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