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Do boys really need a 'father figure' for them to grow up properly?

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Nov 6, 2012 10:05 AM

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Never met my father once and look how I turned out. Watching my anime full of lolis and playing visual novels where you have sex with star ships or get raped by monster girls.

Who needs a father.....
 
Nov 6, 2012 10:08 AM
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traed said:
What should be even considered "growing up properly" ?

Probably this one question is better than this whole thread in itself.

I think growing up is a lot of things, but mostly learning. Learning to love and decide. Learning what you think is right and what is wrong, trying things and hanging out with friends. And finally learning to mature, if you got all those, you might as well be an adult to me.

I might have forgotten something though. Such a broad question.

chirale said:
A grown-up fiducial male figure is important for a boy's as growth but this figure it is not always the father.

So much of this, most of my role models haven't been male.

Also I am waiting for a "Do girls really need a mother?" Questioning if they get lesbian because of it...
 
Nov 6, 2012 10:14 AM
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this may all boil down to different people need different things. Some kids probably need father figures. Hell, some grown men do.

Karpman said:
traed said:
What should be even considered "growing up properly" ?

Probably this one question is better than this whole thread in itself.


That is a loaded question. We would have to ask what a person should be like, or at least what an adult should be like. Clearly they must master ninjutsu :). But the rest seems really relative, although possibly fun to debate.
 
Nov 6, 2012 10:33 AM

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AnnoKano said:
What's your point, squire?

http://www.nber.org/papers/w17507.pdf?new_window=1
It's an interesting paper.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/02/080212095450.htm

and point2:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.

Modified by one-more-time, Nov 6, 2012 10:42 AM
LUL
 
Nov 6, 2012 10:51 AM

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"Effeminate" and "gay" are totally different things. But even without a fatherly figure, I doubt the chances of being "effeminate" are increased by much. Also, those statistics kind of prove that kids do need a fatherly figure or male figure in their lives. Where the heck do you find all this...?

You CAN'T become gay by the way. It's as obvious as you CAN'T become a pedophile.

Or heterosexual.

Also, to Anno, antidepressants actually make more suicide victims than depression itself. Just some random info.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 6, 2012 10:54 AM

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Immahnoob said:
Where the heck do you find all this...?

Shuhan wrote that.
LUL
 
Nov 6, 2012 10:54 AM

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one-more-time said:
Immahnoob said:
Where the heck do you find all this...?

Shuhan wrote that.

I mean the articles.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 6, 2012 10:55 AM

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Immahnoob said:
one-more-time said:
Immahnoob said:
Where the heck do you find all this...?

Shuhan wrote that.

I mean the articles.

Which ones? That you become gay if there's no father-figure in your life?
LUL
 
Nov 6, 2012 10:57 AM

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one-more-time said:
Immahnoob said:
one-more-time said:
Immahnoob said:
Where the heck do you find all this...?

Shuhan wrote that.

I mean the articles.

Which ones? That you become gay if there's no father-figure in your life?

http://deltabravo.net/cms/plugins/content/content.php?content.284

This one for example.

Oh, and are these actually bullshit articles?




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 6, 2012 11:05 AM

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Immahnoob said:

This one for example.
Oh, and are these actually bullshit articles?

Press Ctrl+F > "source", is that so hard?

If you're not happy with them:go for "Fathers and youth's delinquent behaviour" paper.
LUL
 
Nov 6, 2012 11:10 AM

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one-more-time said:
Immahnoob said:

This one for example.
Oh, and are these actually bullshit articles?

Press Ctrl+F > "source", is that so hard?

If you're not happy with them:go for "Fathers and youth's delinquent behaviour" paper.

You don't effin' understand.

You're saying "Which ones? That you become gay if there's no father-figure in your life?", which is not true (right after saying "Shuhan wrote that"), so I thought you were giving us some bullshit articles like one I found about Zoophilia some time ago.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 6, 2012 11:12 AM

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traed said:
What should be even considered "growing up properly" ?


The opposite of all the people with daddy issues posting here.
 
Nov 6, 2012 11:14 AM

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ITT: Nature and Nurture can't coexist.
 
Nov 6, 2012 11:18 AM

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Immahnoob said:
like one I found about Zoophilia some time ago

LUL
 
Nov 6, 2012 11:20 AM

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one-more-time said:
Immahnoob said:
like one I found about Zoophilia some time ago


Yeah, it was amazing.

It was saying Zoophiliacs should not be afraid and that a lot of cases are happening all over the world, with idiotic statistics but it was rather funny.

For like... Half the article you could even believe it, then it started throwing bullshit.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 6, 2012 11:23 AM

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Karpman said:

chirale said:
A grown-up fiducial male figure is important for a boy's as growth but this figure it is not always the father.

So much of this, most of my role models haven't been male.


Mine too, I'm sorry you've misunderstood this sentence, and the "most" part stands for you have at least one male role model, that's exactly what I'm suggesting to look for.
 
Nov 6, 2012 11:31 AM

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Immahnoob said:
You don't effin' understand.

I was just fooling around.

Where the heck do you find all this...?

LUL
 
Nov 6, 2012 11:42 AM

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one-more-time said:
Immahnoob said:
You don't effin' understand.

I was just fooling around.

Where the heck do you find all this...?


I'm in no good mood...

For this...





Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 6, 2012 12:42 PM

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I'm not sure a father figure has so much to do with not turning out "effeminate" or "homosexual" I think what we mean by a father figure is just somebody you look up to completely unquestioningly

i.e - my dad was the coolest person alive from when I was born to when I was 12 or so.

I'm much much closer to my mother but the fact that I am means I've never looked up to her in the same way (I love her a billion times more and she's amazing but being close to someone means also knowing their faults).

So to sum it up - the father figure need not be a male at all although for most boys it probably helps as they can compare and contrast the image with themselves more easily. Using the same logic maybe girls need mother figures?

In my opinion both parents are infinitely important and writing this post has made me miss my own.
 
Nov 6, 2012 3:08 PM
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Boys do need a male mentor figure in their lives. However this does not actually need to be the father. It can be an uncle, family friend etc. Basically it is just an older male they can talk to, look up to and learn interesting stuff from. It is actually really hard for the father to be that cool person to their teenage sons because you are too close and you still have to maintain discipline. In my brothers case, he was really close to one of our uncles with a shared interest in mechanics. However our cousin never saw his father as cool in his teens because they were too close and they would end up fighting (verbally). It isn't until you are independent without relying in any way on your parents that you become friends rather than having the parent-child unequal relationship.

I am not sure why anyone would think gender orientation would be affected by a father figure. It is more a mentor relationship that provides an role model on how to be a good man, shows them how to do stuff and provides outlet that they can talk to if they are troubled or having problems.

With regards to the OP, what I will say, is your father obviously loves you even if he is having trouble connecting with you. Teenagers tend not to appreciate their parents as it is a busy time of becoming independent, becoming an adult etc. You can't become independent if you are clinging to your parents so it is normal for the bonds to weaken and to not want to spend much time with them at this point. However, you will appreciate your father a lot more once you get past the teenage years so maintain a relationship with him. It is much easier than dropping him and than trying to start again later on when you regret throwing it away.
Modified by Cottonrabbit, Nov 6, 2012 3:26 PM
 
Nov 6, 2012 3:23 PM

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Cottonrabbit said:
I am not sure why anyone would think gender orientation would be affected by a father figure.

That's just a joke>_>
LUL
 
Nov 6, 2012 3:33 PM
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one-more-time said:
Cottonrabbit said:
I am not sure why anyone would think gender orientation would be affected by a father figure.

That's just a joke>_>


I thought Shuhan was probably joking but Zeneevee seemed serious.
 
Nov 6, 2012 3:33 PM

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Well I imagine they think mentors constitute role models and thus if the child has a mentor of the opposite sex they may pick up their sexual orientation too (I really don't think this is the case but that's probably what goes through people's heads)
 
Nov 6, 2012 4:25 PM
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Cottonrabbit said:
I am not sure why anyone would think gender orientation would be affected by a father figure.


I am not sure if you mean gender identity or sexual orientation, but I agree with you that both don’t have that much to do with father figures, though I do understand where people may think differently. Although I understand that conventional wisdom may suggest otherwise, the science is starting to suggest the nurture part of sexual and gender development is overemphasized.

Gender idendity
http://www.avitale.com/etiologicalreview.htm

sexual orientation
http://psych.colorado.edu/~carey/pdfFiles/CAH_Berenbaum01.pdf
http://narth.com/2010/09/gay-sheep-study-offers-intriguing-prenatal-hormonal-link/
 
Nov 6, 2012 4:50 PM
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extraspectra said:
Cottonrabbit said:
I am not sure why anyone would think gender orientation would be affected by a father figure.


I am not sure if you mean gender identity or sexual orientation, but I agree with you that both don’t have that much to do with father figures, though I do understand where people may think differently. Although I understand that conventional wisdom may suggest otherwise, the science is starting to suggest the nurture part of sexual and gender development is overemphasized.

Gender idendity
http://www.avitale.com/etiologicalreview.htm

sexual orientation
http://psych.colorado.edu/~carey/pdfFiles/CAH_Berenbaum01.pdf
http://narth.com/2010/09/gay-sheep-study-offers-intriguing-prenatal-hormonal-link/


Sorry - brain lapse. I actually meant sexual orientation, not gender identity. Although now it is brought up, I also don't think either is affected by a father figure, only how they deal with it.
 
Nov 6, 2012 7:30 PM

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Leonard93 said:
yes else ull turn ghay

this.
 
Nov 6, 2012 7:40 PM

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I do not know if you should take my words to heart, but this is what I think.
It's best if you have a male figure, but it does not have to be a father figure. There are somethings in life that which a male can not discuss with a female, but can with another male and this principle counts towards the female as well. But you do not really need a father for this. A male friend, an uncle, other male relatives that you are close to - will just do fine.
To the people out there who say that if a boy gets brought up by only their mothers, then they would turn gay, please stop spreading the wrong message. That is not true.
 
Nov 7, 2012 2:50 AM

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No, Shinji from eva turned out fine without a father figure...
 
Nov 7, 2012 3:41 AM
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Barack Obama i heard grow up with his mother and no father, if i remember right to lazy to google for confirmation
 
Nov 7, 2012 3:48 AM

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Are you people fucking serious?
My subjective reviews: katsureview.wordpress.com
THE CHAT CLUB.
 
Nov 7, 2012 3:55 AM

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m_c093 said:
No, Shinji from eva turned out fine without a father figure...
My sides...
 
Nov 7, 2012 4:54 AM

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Whether male or female, anyone needs them. If you're very young, you need someone like that even more. Only the other day I read a bit on Wikipedia. There was the following, which might help answer your question:
Wikipedia said:
Several studies have suggested that positive father figures, whether biological fathers or others, are generally associated with healthy child development.
 
Nov 7, 2012 5:22 AM

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Z-I-CO said:
I do not know if you should take my words to heart, but this is what I think.
It's best if you have a male figure, but it does not have to be a father figure. There are somethings in life that which a male can not discuss with a female, but can with another male and this principle counts towards the female as well. But you do not really need a father for this. A male friend, an uncle, other male relatives that you are close to - will just do fine.
To the people out there who say that if a boy gets brought up by only their mothers, then they would turn gay, please stop spreading the wrong message. That is not true.


Amen.
 
Nov 7, 2012 5:40 AM

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A parent figure of some kind to provide nurture and love.
Though it doesn't have to boil down to a single person in one's life, it's always good to have a surrounding that provides care, freedom and support for an individual's healthy development.

Also, growing up I had two mothers - one biological and one emotional. Though only one father, and he was the one who raised me.
 
Nov 7, 2012 6:40 AM

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http://www.biblebelievers.com/Cameron3.html

Read it and let the knowledge flow through you.
 
Nov 7, 2012 7:05 AM
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Shuhan said:
http://www.biblebelievers.com/Cameron3.html

Read it and let the knowledge flow through you.


This is sarcasm?
 
Nov 7, 2012 7:14 AM

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extraspectra said:
Shuhan said:
http://www.biblebelievers.com/Cameron3.html

Read it and let the knowledge flow through you.


This is sarcasm?

This is the TRUTH, my brother! Don't trust those who mock the God's name, for those who believe - no evidence is needed, amen brother!
LUL
 
Nov 7, 2012 7:16 AM
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one-more-time said:
extraspectra said:
Shuhan said:
http://www.biblebelievers.com/Cameron3.html

Read it and let the knowledge flow through you.


This is sarcasm?

This is the TRUTH, my brother! Don't trust those who mock the God's name, for those who believe - no evidence is needed, amen brother!


defiantly sarcasm. I'm usually easy :).
Modified by extraspectra, Nov 7, 2012 7:20 AM
 
Nov 7, 2012 8:47 AM

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IMO, it's more important for a girl to have a father figure while growing up. Certain industries that depend on women with absent fathers have proved this...
 
Nov 7, 2012 9:02 AM

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ReaperEXE said:
IMO, it's more important for a girl to have a father figure while growing up. Certain industries that depend on women with absent fathers have proved this...

Abstract, "Fathers and Youth's Delinquent Behavior" said:
However, adolescent girls' behavior is largely independent of the presence (or absence) of their fathers

Our results suggest that the presence of a father figure during adolescence is
likely to have protective effects, particularly for males, in both adolescence and young adulthood.
LUL
 
Nov 7, 2012 12:07 PM

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No, I don't think that boys need a "father figure" to properly develop.

The thing that people don't seem to understand about divorce: it's not the divorce itself that leads to children having developmental problems, but rather the conflict surrounding the divorce.

I think it's the same thing with the "father figure" debate. You can grow and develop 100% okay without a father figure in your life. However, if, for example, you feel completely unwanted by your father (rather than it being your choice not to see him), or uncomfortable around your father, then that could lead to developmental problems.

It's about the situation, not the event in and of itself.
 
Nov 7, 2012 12:58 PM

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You're better off without a dad.
 
Nov 8, 2012 4:53 AM

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paprikawolf said:
You're better off without a dad.


How so?
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Nov 8, 2012 5:28 AM
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paprikawolf said:
You're better off without a dad.


Your better off being raised by a pack of wolves. or a Gorilla.
 
Nov 8, 2012 9:11 AM

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To be honest, I think it's far more important for children to have a "father figure" or "mother figure" of the opposite sex.

Girls having a good male figure in their lives and boys having a good female figure in their lives.
"If you love someone
Follow your heart
Cause love comes once
If you’re lucky enough"
 
Nov 8, 2012 9:14 AM

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NicoleB said:
To be honest, I think it's far more important for children to have a "father figure" or "mother figure" of the opposite sex.

Girls having a good male figure in their lives and boys having a good female figure in their lives.

Your comment made me think of a joke...

On the Internet, men are men, women are men, and little girls are FBI agents.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 8, 2012 9:16 AM

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I don't see how that could of made you think of that.
"If you love someone
Follow your heart
Cause love comes once
If you’re lucky enough"
 
Nov 8, 2012 9:16 AM
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Immahnoob said:
NicoleB said:
To be honest, I think it's far more important for children to have a "father figure" or "mother figure" of the opposite sex.

Girls having a good male figure in their lives and boys having a good female figure in their lives.

Your comment made me think of a joke...

On the Internet, men are men, women are men, and little girls are FBI agents.


+1
Little boys are?
 
Nov 8, 2012 9:20 AM

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NicoleB said:
I don't see how that could of made you think of that.

It's actually the opposite, boys need a father figure in their lives more than a mother figure and girls need a mother figure in their life more than a father figure.

There's also an article posted by one-more-time that proves that.

And I thought of that joke because of the "women are men and little girls are FBI agents." part, mostly, or I have no idea, it just came in my mind. Does it matter?
AngelicTsundere said:
Immahnoob said:
NicoleB said:
To be honest, I think it's far more important for children to have a "father figure" or "mother figure" of the opposite sex.

Girls having a good male figure in their lives and boys having a good female figure in their lives.

Your comment made me think of a joke...

On the Internet, men are men, women are men, and little girls are FBI agents.


+1
Little boys are?

Actually, the initial joke was "and children are FBI agents".

But "little girls" has a "bigger impact" and sounds funnier, or at least that's what they say.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 8, 2012 9:22 AM

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Immahnoob said:
It's actually the opposite, boys need a father figure in their lives more than a mother figure and girls need a mother figure in their life more than a father figure.

There's also an article posted by one-more-time that proves that.


I believe it's more important because those without a figure of the opposite sex, can sometimes develop warped ideas about the opposite sex.
"If you love someone
Follow your heart
Cause love comes once
If you’re lucky enough"
 
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