Forum Settings
Forums

Do boys really need a 'father figure' for them to grow up properly?

Pages (5) [1] 2 3 » ... Last »
Post New Reply
#1
Nov 5, 2012 3:36 AM

Offline
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 74
so that's my question. my parents are divorced and me being a young guy actually preffers being with my mum then my dad. My dad is nice and all, but he just gets on my nerves and stuff and i dont really like seeing him. if it wasn't for the arrangement we made i wouldn't even go see my dad. but here's the thing, he is always saying that I'm at a point in my life were guys need an adult male figure in their life and the reasoning behind it is "just because you do". i know what a reason right? so do i need a male figure in my life or not, will i turn out "wrong"? I dunno, just a question i want answers too from the people on mal. what do you guys think about the idea where boys must have a male role model in their life? girls are obviously allowed to answer too, lol.

thanks
 
#2
Nov 5, 2012 3:40 AM

Offline
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 336
My dad wasn't really involved in my life, at least until the later years... I can say that I had some rough times.. A lot of them actually.. I turned out pretty messed up for a while. But I don't know if it was because I had a father figure or not. It might have just been because I fell in with the wrong crowd.

I think some people who don't have a father figure in their life, can turn out fine. I don't think you are required to have a father figure in order to turn into a productive member of society.

However, I think you should spend more time with your dad. You don't have to spend a ton of time with him or anything.. But, you don't want to regret not having spent enough time with your dad, especially after it is too late. That isn't to say that you should move in with him or anything.
 
#3
Nov 5, 2012 3:57 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 15757
Yes and no.
It all depends on too many factors really. Just having a male figure doesn't mean is the right one and not having one doesn't mean you are gonna grow wrong but it might add something important to your personality. Especially for boys it's usually good to have a strong male figure as an example. It kinds of brings a balance to the force(star wars references ftw) to the over care and sensitivity mothers usually have to their young male children.

It's more common for you to feel connected with your mother, in the majority of cases males have a very special relationship with their mother but a good father that may even usually seem to get in the way of that brings some balance and even if the kid gets annoyed by him his example is still being written on the back of his brain and as he grows up he might understand him more and appreciate what it was about and the role it played in his current personality.

Personally i had a nightmare of a father but still even though he was the absolute worse and not much of an example in some ways i took some lessons from the experience. Yeah am quite a fucked up individual because of many things he did but also am quite strong in other things because of it. If your father is at least a decent man as you say you should be happy and yes when you are a teenage kid all you want is do your thing and not bother with the one and the other but maybe you shouldn't live it all up to him in making the experience go seeing him more pleasant and you should try to help him in making that something more appealing.
Don't forget, parents are human too, just like you and they can feel nervous, bored, annoyed as much as you can. Parents ain't just figures in your life, they are people that feel every bit as much you and have their needs.
Modified by Monad, Nov 5, 2012 4:58 AM
 
#4
Nov 5, 2012 4:06 AM

Offline
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1434
yes else ull turn ghay
Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines.
 
#5
Nov 5, 2012 4:12 AM

Offline
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1387
Leonard93 said:
yes else ull turn ghay


Nah clearly you're born that way
༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ Praise the Oppai ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

 
#6
Nov 5, 2012 4:13 AM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 112
Shiveron said:
Leonard93 said:
yes else ull turn ghay


Nah clearly you're born that way


no hes rite u turn ghey
they dont have an eyepatch??
 
#7
Nov 5, 2012 4:14 AM

Offline
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 4939
Leonard93 said:
yes else ull turn ghay


That is logically overwhelming.
 
#8
Nov 5, 2012 4:16 AM
Offline
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 318
I rather look up to a role model than my father.
Not going to go into personal detail.
 
#9
Nov 5, 2012 4:17 AM

Online
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 4054
They don't need it, but I imagine it wouldn't hurt.
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:21 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 6383
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:22 AM

Offline
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 6
I never had one and I turned out fine.....
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:31 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 4349
I'd say yes, but it can be anybody really, even a fictional one.
I know a guy raised by his mother, during highscool he started worshipping Nietzsche. He turned out fine.
It can be a teacher or someone at work.
I even know this guy raised by his very strict mother, and in his case, the father figure was obviously his mother. He's fine too.
Modified by EratiK, Nov 5, 2012 6:38 AM
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:32 AM

Offline
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 4939
Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.


Interesting, my homosexual friends must be the exception in those scientific statistics.
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:38 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 15757
vbyo said:
Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.


Interesting, my homosexual friends must be the exception in those scientific statistics.


Everyone has homosexual friends now in our days.
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:40 AM

Offline
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 4208
Some people turn ghay even though they have father figure.
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:47 AM

Offline
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 39
I don't think a father figure is necessary for a young boy to grow up properly. Regardless, some people have been affected because of the other factors that come into play growing up without one.
I entirely agree with Monad tho
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:57 AM

Offline
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3559
I think yes becouse having a dad is essential in some parts of a kid education, somethings a mother cant 9or will be difficult) to teach, most if is a guy.
 
Nov 5, 2012 6:59 AM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 17480
No. Male role models in life are important, but it doesn't have to be your father.

Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.

Correlation =/= causation and insinuating being gay means an improper upbringing. Don't forget to turn your clocks back 50 years y'all.
Modified by Josh, Nov 5, 2012 7:04 AM
LoneWolf said:
@Josh - Makes me sad to call myself Canadian.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:00 AM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3603
No, you don't really need a mother or father to turn out "right", whatever that is supposed to mean.

Having neither, both or only one has no real indication of what type of person you'll be.

Good parents have raised bad children and bad parents have had good children.
"If you love someone
Follow your heart
Cause love comes once
If you’re lucky enough"
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:17 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3648
Yes.

Also ITT people confusing father figure with parent.
As a child, I was told that society is a melting pot of talents; knowledge and experience combined to form important alloys that will contribute to mankind. When I got to highschool, however, I thought that it's more like a river in which the water represents our peers while we ourselves are the stones in the river. Constant erosion by mindless majority sheeping has made us lose our unique edge. After I hit the age of 18, I realized that I've been wrong all along. Society is no melting pot. Society is no river. Society is a person, a very skilled rapist, and he has fucked us all.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:20 AM

Offline
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 546
NicoleB said:
No, you don't really need a mother or father to turn out "right", whatever that is supposed to mean.

Having neither, both or only one has no real indication of what type of person you'll be.

Good parents have raised bad children and bad parents have had good children.

That's equal to "everything is relative" which is true, but irrelevant here, because we are looking for the most common outcome, and that is that young boys do need a MALE figure, as josh pointed out, not necessarily a father.
Closer.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:21 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 6383
Nordhau5 said:
No. Male role models in life are important, but it doesn't have to be your father.

Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.

Correlation =/= causation and insinuating being gay means an improper upbringing. Don't forget to turn your clocks back 50 years y'all.


Well homosexuality isnt natural so I would say it is caused by an improper upbringing.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:23 AM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3603
ZaBici said:
That's equal to "everything is relative" which is true, but irrelevant here, because we are looking for the most common outcome, and that is that young boys do need a MALE figure, as josh pointed out, not necessarily a father.


I don't see how anyone can accurately say having one or not having one means anything at all.
"If you love someone
Follow your heart
Cause love comes once
If you’re lucky enough"
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:28 AM

Offline
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 546
NicoleB said:

I don't see how anyone can accurately say having one or not having one means anything at all.

That's because you don't understand the implications, or maybe you do but feign ignorance, either way i'm not in the mood right now for a wall of text, and this isn't even interesting enough to get me going, someone else take over if you will.
Closer.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:29 AM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3603
How convincing D:
"If you love someone
Follow your heart
Cause love comes once
If you’re lucky enough"
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:36 AM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 17480
Shuhan said:
Well homosexuality isnt natural so I would say it is caused by an improper upbringing.

I'm sorry that you feel that way. How do you define natural?
LoneWolf said:
@Josh - Makes me sad to call myself Canadian.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:37 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 8165
You do need to have an older male nearby to this doesn't mean this has to be your dad when growing up you sometimes experience or encounter things that you can't talk about with someone from the opposite gender.
This person doesn't have to live in the same house as you but it's nice if it's a person you trust like a neighbour, teacher or a friend of your mother.

Also can someone provide scientific proof that not having a father around turns a boy gay because as far as i know that's nonsense.
I know a few guys who are gay and all of them came from a family with a father.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:38 AM

Offline
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 4966
Shuhan said:
Nordhau5 said:
No. Male role models in life are important, but it doesn't have to be your father.

Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.

Correlation =/= causation and insinuating being gay means an improper upbringing. Don't forget to turn your clocks back 50 years y'all.


Well homosexuality isnt natural so I would say it is caused by an improper upbringing.

but homosexuality also occurs in the natural world with wild animals.
The Art of Eight
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:42 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 3648
dankickyou said:
Shuhan said:
Nordhau5 said:
No. Male role models in life are important, but it doesn't have to be your father.

Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.

Correlation =/= causation and insinuating being gay means an improper upbringing. Don't forget to turn your clocks back 50 years y'all.


Well homosexuality isnt natural so I would say it is caused by an improper upbringing.

but homosexuality also occurs in the natural world with wild animals.


The Bible says it's wrong so it must be unnatural. The Bible is always right.

As a child, I was told that society is a melting pot of talents; knowledge and experience combined to form important alloys that will contribute to mankind. When I got to highschool, however, I thought that it's more like a river in which the water represents our peers while we ourselves are the stones in the river. Constant erosion by mindless majority sheeping has made us lose our unique edge. After I hit the age of 18, I realized that I've been wrong all along. Society is no melting pot. Society is no river. Society is a person, a very skilled rapist, and he has fucked us all.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:42 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 10886
Lol @ discussion about lacking father figure = gay.

Family discord in general brings a host of problems especially at childhood. The impact can be longlasting, nonspecific, and very hard to show causation. However, correlations studies are there in national surveys.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:46 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 8165
BloodRequiem said:
This thread is now about opinions on homosexuality AND religion. Dis gun be gud.
Yes next there going to say that growing up without a father turns you into a merciless serial killer.

Things are starting to get off topic here.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:46 AM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 17480
Aversa said:
Also can someone provide scientific proof that not having a father around turns a boy gay because as far as i know that's nonsense.
I know a few guys who are gay and all of them came from a family with a father.

Whether or not it is true is irrelevant to this discussion, as it is about the gender of the parents, not the sexuality of the child or parents. If anything however, I would argue the opposite. There may be a slight correlation between (known) gay kids and quality parents, since it's easier for a kid to come out if his/her parents are supportive. Oppositely, poor parents are more likely to "force" their child to be straight.
Modified by Josh, Nov 5, 2012 7:50 AM
LoneWolf said:
@Josh - Makes me sad to call myself Canadian.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:52 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 19412
Shuhan said:
Nordhau5 said:
No. Male role models in life are important, but it doesn't have to be your father.

Shuhan said:
Yep, statistics show that the majority of people who dont have a father/father figure in their life end up being gay.

Correlation =/= causation and insinuating being gay means an improper upbringing. Don't forget to turn your clocks back 50 years y'all.


Well homosexuality isnt natural so I would say it is caused by an improper upbringing.

Damn, Shuhan, so many caught your bait...

But anyways, one male + female figure > one figure (either male or female) > no figure.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 5, 2012 7:52 AM

Offline
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 4966
I don't know if elephants can be used as a comparison for humans, but once in an African safari, the rangers killed all the old male elephants in a herd for population control. After that without any big males to keep them in check the adolescent males started to wreak havoc, fighting and killing other animals. This only stopped when they relocated some older males back into the safari who proceeded to bitch slap the adolescents and bring order back to the herd. So, I guess a good father figure could be important for a kid's growth.
The Art of Eight
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:06 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 381
Does that mean a female that grew up without a mother will be a lesbian?

^^;

Strange logic people.
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:07 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 19412
DeWinter said:
Does that mean a female that grew up without a mother will be a lesbian?

^^;

Strange logic people.

It's called baiting, son...

And it annoys me because nobody would believe me if I'd do that.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:12 AM

Offline
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 3270
Page 1 gave me a headache.
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:12 AM

Offline
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 4966
Immahnoob said:
DeWinter said:
Does that mean a female that grew up without a mother will be a lesbian?

^^;

Strange logic people.

It's called baiting, son...

And it annoys me because nobody would believe me if I'd do that.

They got you figured out, man
The Art of Eight
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:19 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 19412
dankickyou said:
Immahnoob said:
DeWinter said:
Does that mean a female that grew up without a mother will be a lesbian?

^^;

Strange logic people.

It's called baiting, son...

And it annoys me because nobody would believe me if I'd do that.

They got you figured out, man

It's hard to be an oldie around here.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:44 AM

Offline
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 155
you don't really need one, but it helps to have one
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:51 AM

Offline
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1547
Never had one and I'm a wuss lawl
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:54 AM
Offline
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 260
No, you don't need a father figure to turn out "right". I'm not sure if you actually mean having your dad as a father figure or just any male that you look up to, but in either case, no you don't. Personally, I've never had a male role model throughout my life so far and I don't feel the need to have one. My father, for example, is not a person I want to become and it almost frightens me that I have his genes. He's the complete opposite of what I want to be and I guess that serves as some sort of motivation. I've been living with my sister and mother for almost 15 years now and the amount of respect I have for my mom is immense - I can't even imagine a better source of inspiration in my life. It has given me so much more respect for women, which my father and/or male role model would have been able to contribute to, if you know what I mean. At some point, though, you must make your own decisions and find out who you want to be and not try to be someone else.
 
Nov 5, 2012 8:58 AM

Offline
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1547
^You can't miss what you never had right?
 
Nov 5, 2012 9:02 AM
Offline
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 260
I'm not 15 years old. There was a point where I thought my dad was awesome, before I found out what was really going on behind the charades. Simply decided that I didn't need a male role model and I have never felt a need to have one ever since.
 
Nov 5, 2012 9:06 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1081
Studies have shown again, and again that what you simply need is loving parents.

As for homosexuality, I know it was brought up as a joke in this thread, but it's still something that a large portion sincerely believe. It's impossible to win with these people, at one point it was having too much of a father figure, which made you attracted to men; now it's lacking a father figure making you too effeminate.

Of course they're constantly stumped, hence the change of plans/ideas.
 
Nov 5, 2012 9:07 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2288
Growing up I thought my father was the coolest person ever and all my friends thought the same thing about their fathers, I don't know if it's necessary but it sure does help give you a good childhood.

Later on you become a rebellious teen and go through a phase of constantly arguing with your father, I think it's because you've learned to think for yourself and all of a sudden you realize okay my dad is a human being too he isn't the impeccable person I grew up thinking he was.

Then you mature and end up thinking, heh my old man might not be perfect but he's still my father and I respect him for raising me.

(all this is based on my own experience)
 
Nov 5, 2012 9:18 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1852
my dad was a jock i'm a nerd no not really nor did i ever really care what he said
idg the question so much tho like i'm not the manliest person out there so i guess i fail being a man somewhat
~"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." (Pirsig)

 
Nov 5, 2012 9:46 AM
Ghost in the API

Offline
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 4807
No, you don't.
 
Nov 5, 2012 10:21 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 480
Scud said:
They don't need it, but I imagine it wouldn't hurt.

+1

I have serious problems shoehorning mental growth into something predictable anyway.
 
Nov 5, 2012 10:28 AM

Offline
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 497
I had two father-figures and I turned out pretty disappointing (Spent the last 5 months playing Final Fantasy and avoiding my mom), but then again they both kinda sucked and died before I was 15, so that may have something to do with it...
 
Top
Pages (5) [1] 2 3 » ... Last »