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Oct 27, 2008 10:38 PM

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I'm not gonna get married at my age yet.

But when i'm old enough. I'd like some hot male/female who is good in bed. And smart enough. I wouldn't want someone who forgets their name. >< someone loving & sweet & nice & brains & looks. <3
 
Oct 27, 2008 10:54 PM

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Most of the responses in this thread make the 80 year old traditionalist in me weep. The 4 year old in me thought the nonesense everyone said was too boring to read. I, however, thought Scrum's story was fucking hilarious (Though I've heard a bit of it, but not all).

:D


I want to get married. I am not religious. I don't care about being married for the legal benefits. The end.
 
Oct 27, 2008 10:56 PM

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Marriage is idiotic. It's yet another completely bastardized/meaningless tradition. A few hundred years ago people got married because they cared for one and other and wanted to spend their lives together. Today, 7 out of 10 people get married so that in 5 or 10 years they can divorce their partner and fuck them over for all they're worth both financially and emotionally when someone better (richer) comes into the picture.

If I ever get married, it will be the most informal ceremony one could ever imagine. It won't be in a church, because I feel organized religion as well as everything which comes along with it is complete bullshit, and their will be a lengthy pre-nump to go along with it.

 
Oct 27, 2008 11:55 PM

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Before i marry i have to get a girlfriend^^;
but i think its something you have to experience once. so i want to get married.


 
Oct 28, 2008 12:06 AM

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I find it quite sad that some people think marriage means the end of romance. Love is not something that survives on it's own, you both have to be commited to each other, and have to work at making the other person first in your life. If you can't do that, you won't be happy, and you won't have a good relationship. Marriage needs trust first and foremost, love, dedication and the ability to compromise. If you can't do that in a regular relationship, you won't be able to do so in a marriage.

November 3rd I'll have been married 7 years. My husband is a wonderful person; thoughtful, caring, kind, gentle and very loving. I can't imagine my life without him.
He still surprises me with my favorite flowers, and I imagine he will do so the entire length of our marriage.

When I married, I made a life-long decision. We had a long engagement, 2 and a half years [for him to finish college], so I had plenty of time to think about spending the rest of my life with him. I have never once regretted my decision.

however, I understand that some people don't feel that an official marriage is necessary. But until you've been married, you have no idea what it's like. So those of you bashing the tradition and sanctity of marriage, grow up. You've no clue what it's like until you've done it. Watching your parents' marriage or those of other friends and family is not the complete picture. Every couple and relationship is build on different things. Basically, if you haven't tried it, don't knock it.
Modified by MysteriousMerlin, Oct 28, 2008 12:10 AM
 
Oct 28, 2008 12:22 AM

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Marriage? Naw, waste of money and effort, just screws things up and makes everything complicated.
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Oct 28, 2008 12:31 AM

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*smacks forehead*
 
Oct 28, 2008 12:54 AM

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MysteriousMerlin said:
I find it quite sad that some people think marriage means the end of romance. Love is not something that survives on it's own, you both have to be commited to each other, and have to work at making the other person first in your life. If you can't do that, you won't be happy, and you won't have a good relationship. Marriage needs trust first and foremost, love, dedication and the ability to compromise. If you can't do that in a regular relationship, you won't be able to do so in a marriage.

November 3rd I'll have been married 7 years. My husband is a wonderful person; thoughtful, caring, kind, gentle and very loving. I can't imagine my life without him.
He still surprises me with my favorite flowers, and I imagine he will do so the entire length of our marriage.

When I married, I made a life-long decision. We had a long engagement, 2 and a half years [for him to finish college], so I had plenty of time to think about spending the rest of my life with him. I have never once regretted my decision.

however, I understand that some people don't feel that an official marriage is necessary. But until you've been married, you have no idea what it's like. So those of you bashing the tradition and sanctity of marriage, grow up. You've no clue what it's like until you've done it. Watching your parents' marriage or those of other friends and family is not the complete picture. Every couple and relationship is build on different things.
Nahh, in fact, the whole concept of a 'committed relationship' is one artificial. It's a solely artificial expression of love. Think about it, would your husband bring you flowers and do the other things he did if you weren't married or had a relationship? He does it because he has to by the rules for a large portion. You have to give your spouse flowers on occasion, it's the rule. You have to not look at other people and certainly not act upon it, it's the rule. He's probably not not doing it because he doesn't want it on his own, he's not doing it because he's not allowed to do it as per the rules.

I've been into various social bonds with people some would call a 'relationship', however I've never asked some-one in my life nor the reverse, what-ever bond we had developed on its own, naturally. Like, there was a girl at my place yesterday, she officially just came to pick up shit she forgot last time. She ended up staying a lot longer than intended, 'I don't want to leave, but I have to make home-work.', with this girl, I can laugh, she sleeps here a lot, we make breakfast together, we walk outside together, we go to dinner together, I speak her on the phone a lot and yes, also things The Holy Library of Christianity said one has to wait till marriage for. On top of this, she's a Lesbian and I'm not exactly a girl. She comes here that often because she wants to, not because some rule says 'You can't neglect your "boyfriend".' she takes me out to pizza because she wants to, not per some agreement.

'Is this a relationship?', 'Are we 'in love' with each other?' are both futile and meaningless questions to me. It doesn't make it different how we act towards each other namely.

And she fully concurs with me.

Basically, if you haven't tried it, don't knock it.
Like incest, try it.

FarewellToWords said:
Marriage is idiotic. It's yet another completely bastardized/meaningless tradition. A few hundred years ago people got married because they cared for one and other and wanted to spend their lives together. Today, 7 out of 10 people get married so that in 5 or 10 years they can divorce their partner and fuck them over for all they're worth both financially and emotionally when someone better (richer) comes into the picture.

If I ever get married, it will be the most informal ceremony one could ever imagine. It won't be in a church, because I feel organized religion as well as everything which comes along with it is complete bullshit, and their will be a lengthy pre-nump to go along with it.

You have to be the most 'individual' conservative I ever met there.
Modified by nihlniisadxhai, Oct 28, 2008 1:21 AM
Perelman, martyr
 
Oct 28, 2008 2:55 AM

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By your unreasonable response, I can see that little I say will have any effect on you. It's laughable and a little pathetic that you think a husband or a wife only does things for his/her mate out of duty or obligation. If that's truly what you think then I wonder about your childhood experiences.

So you've tried incest, have you?

'Is this a relationship?', 'Are we 'in love' with each other?' are both futile and meaningless questions to me. It doesn't make it different how we act towards each other namely.

And she fully concurs with me.


If it works for you, then fine and dandy. Not everyone wishes to live the same. If you're happy and content that's all that matters. I am extremely happy, I look forward to going home every day. I look forward to spending my life with this person, getting to know more and more about him, having children with him.
 
Oct 28, 2008 2:58 AM
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no because I don't belong in church
 
Oct 28, 2008 2:59 AM

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Marriage is largely done for legal reasons, not just love.
 
Oct 28, 2008 3:11 AM

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Marriage - or "mar-ee-aj" as Jack Sparrow would say - is simply a piece of paper. As one in three marriages end up in a divorce, I'm not too fussed about it. If I get married then I get married. If I don't then I don't.
Marriage, I believe, isn't as important these days as it was a couple of decades ago. Legislation reforms have made it easier to get divorces, thus the higher rate of marriage breakdowns. I reckon this is part of the reason why the institution of marriage isn't as significant anymore. It's not important to get married. You can still have the same relationship with your partner in a de facto relationship.


 
Oct 28, 2008 3:36 AM

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Nice try, MysteriousMerlin. People who actually know or have experienced the subject apparently shouldn't bother chiming in. ;)
 
Oct 28, 2008 5:14 AM

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Would be nice sometime soon. Hopefully a nice girl comes along.

The concept of finding a "soulmate" or doing it for "love"... Maybe thats why so many divorces happen...because "love" is confused with short term infatuation. When that feeling of "love" goes away, people get divorced, or don't get married in the first place if they don't feel it. I feel weird talking like this, but love isn't selfish like you guys are making it...it is selfless. If I get married and divorce my wife because I don't "love" her anymore, and "love" someone else, I'm just saying that I'm a selfish person who is only concerned with his own momentary feelings and knows nothing about loving another. I don't think that jumping from relationship to relationship shows anything about love...you are just trying to satisfy only yourself by searching for something that doesn't exist. Don't get me wrong though...I do want to feel love for my wife among many other things...I don't want to get married to just anybody.

Love takes effort...it is not just a passively experienced feeling. After making the effort, you can get the long-term rewards of it.

With all that being said, marriage can be done for a variety of reasons not limited to love.

Edit: I don't like the idea of very large, showy occasions. Many, many thousands of dollars wasted in one pop is dumb in my opinion. All of these restrictions and expectations we place on marriage make marriage difficult.
Modified by legos, Oct 28, 2008 5:33 AM
 
Oct 28, 2008 5:20 AM

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question: what the hell is the concept of marriage?
 
Oct 28, 2008 5:41 AM

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Well, I myself don't plane to. My brother plans on finding this old rich lady down in Cancoon that is about to kick off though.

L2 Search - http://fc04.deviantart.com/fs48/f/2009/236/3/9/L2_Search_by_Siya_Akuma.jpg
We're all getting trolled by Mayans. They probably thought "Fuck this shit, let's end the calendar and say shit's gonna go down."
 
Oct 28, 2008 5:48 AM

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ErGoPrOxY said:
Raistlin
If you finish the "Ourran High School Host Club" and you like it, recommended to watch "Special A" ^^

sa anime sucks.
manga > anime.

insert related marriage comment here.
Modified by colorful, Oct 28, 2008 6:05 AM
 
Oct 28, 2008 6:45 AM

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YES
 
Oct 28, 2008 7:01 AM

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Not going to get married. Pretty superficial bond IMO.
 
Oct 28, 2008 7:43 AM

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I'm probably getting married soon. Now, prior to this relationship, I was totally against marriage. Once we started together, I was quite happy for us to be seeing each other and leave it like that.

So there's a fair bit of why to this whole thing. First, obviously, I love her and she loves me.

However, nothing is ever simple. She's a Chinese citizen, her student visa has expired and she's been kicked out of Britain. However much I might love her, there's basically no way for her to get back with me unless we do this. Until her visa problems appeared, this wasn't even in question, we were just involved with each other.

This isn't exactly easy for either of us. She was married twice before (first one left her for someone else, who he reportedly spent years arguing with, and the second one was a classic instance of A Moment Of Stupidity With Years Of Consequences - for example, she wasn't present at her second wedding. She met him the day of her first divorce, next day they agreed to marry, and the third day she woke up to found he had got up early, taken her ID card down to the government office, and registered their marriage) and so is fairly wary of the idea. On the other hand she has a fair old traditional streak (and that's a Chinesetraditional streak, so no laughing matter) so the idea also has a fair bit of appeal, and certainly greases the gears where her family are concerned.

For myself, coming from parents who divorced when I was five, I know full well how complex marriage can get, and coupled with my dislike of religion, it gave me a fair old dislike of the idea. But while my initial problem with it made me shy away initially, I gradually realised that it actually wasn't a bad idea. Even before the visa problem happened I was beginning to think about the idea; fact is, I want to spend my life with her, irrespective of the legal status, and if there's a bonus to signing a bit of paper I might as well do it.

But this isn't just a matter of convenience; I really want to be with her and I know she still places some value on marriage as an institution. Basically, although I'd not marry if it was up to me, the point is it's not only up to me. Since my delightful government decided to involve itself, it's not even up to us, and I'd have liked not to have my hand forced like this. but I'll gladly do it to make her happy.

So now, what I originally thought was one of the most archaic bits of law around may, in fact, provide me with a loophole with which to achieve what I and she both want, i.e. getting her the hell out of China and living together.
 
Oct 28, 2008 8:34 AM

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I've already decided that I'm not going to get married, mainly because of what I've seen my Mom go through. And I'm also horrible with relationships. I wouldn't be able to live in a house with someone else for years, because that'd just annoy the hell out of me. I like to be alone and do my own thing, and I've never met a guy who was able to let me do that. So, I'm gonna be the single old lady living in a creepy mansion with 10,000 cats. =]
 
Oct 28, 2008 9:00 AM

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If I find someone I can genuinely say I'll be happy to stay with until my dying day. But marriage isn't always necessary anyway. I know plenty of people who have brilliant relationships outside of marriage and would never change that for the world.
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Oct 28, 2008 9:15 AM
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LolitaDecay said:


Ooo~ Like a handfasting?


lol hand lol fasting

like stop fapping :3

 
Oct 28, 2008 9:32 AM

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Yes,
Why would you knowingly pass up on all those wedding presents?!?!
<img src="http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e297/kitsu_ayame/Untitled-6.png" />
 
Oct 28, 2008 11:08 AM

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shinkeikaku said:
Nice try, MysteriousMerlin. People who actually know or have experienced the subject apparently shouldn't bother chiming in. ;)


gee thanks :B

Razma said:
ScrumYummy said:
ladyxzeus said:

What a special guest. xD I want to have him on my marriage too. xD


Watch out. He'll set your flowers on fire.
Good trade if he turned the Pool into a gigantic tank full of vodka or something a long those lines.


That would have been preferable to setting my flowers on fire.


selective_yellow said:
Most of the responses in this thread make the 80 year old traditionalist in me weep. The 4 year old in me thought the nonesense everyone said was too boring to read. I, however, thought Scrum's story was fucking hilarious (Though I've heard a bit of it, but not all).

:D


I want to get married. I am not religious. I don't care about being married for the legal benefits. The end.


XD

It (those stories) actually came in handy recently because I was talking to an engaged pagan, and now she's going to hold interviews with JPs to make sure they are not jesus freaks XD

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be married. It's not "unhip," and it can be one of the best things that ever happens to you. (Don't let the haters get you down! XD) I think, though, that you can't look at it as "I am with my bf/gf/whatev FOREVERS!!" Which is the mistake a lot of people make. Marriage is more like living with (and sleeping with o^_^o) your best friend.

Anyway. Don't listen to me rant, because I think that you will be fine :D


MysteriousMerlin said:
I find it quite sad that some people think marriage means the end of romance. Love is not something that survives on it's own, you both have to be commited to each other, and have to work at making the other person first in your life. If you can't do that, you won't be happy, and you won't have a good relationship. Marriage needs trust first and foremost, love, dedication and the ability to compromise. If you can't do that in a regular relationship, you won't be able to do so in a marriage.

however, I understand that some people don't feel that an official marriage is necessary. But until you've been married, you have no idea what it's like. So those of you bashing the tradition and sanctity of marriage, grow up. You've no clue what it's like until you've done it. Watching your parents' marriage or those of other friends and family is not the complete picture. Every couple and relationship is build on different things. Basically, if you haven't tried it, don't knock it.


I think you're on to something! :O

Haha, but seriously. I think that you do have to be able to do those things in a relationship before you can move on to marriage, but that is also not a formula that works for every person.

And while I agree that people that have never done it can't knock it, at the same time, I don't think that everyone is the right type of person for it, either. I would advocate giving marriage a shot, but only if you are ready for it/want it, and after you have lived with the person for a while.

FarewellToWords said:
and their will be a lengthy pre-nump to go along with it.


Setting ourselves up to fail, are we? :)

perpetuate said:
You can still have the same relationship with your partner in a de facto relationship.


Absolutely. I agree 100%. Although, if that's where you are at, then why not take the next step and get tax benefits? That's how I looked at it. X3

hikky said:
Not going to get married. Pretty superficial bond IMO.


A marriage contract in and of itself is a legal bond, nothing more. Marriage, however, is whatever you make of it.
 
Oct 29, 2008 2:03 PM

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captain-neko said:
LolitaDecay said:


Ooo~ Like a handfasting?


lol hand lol fasting

like stop fapping :3


Lawl, you're lyk so fun.

Anyway, let m describe you a wedding around here: people go to a place that we can directly translate as "civil registration". With fancy dresses. You sign two papers and they call the next person in line. Then you go out to dinner with your friends. You may replace it with a church.

This is why I love living here. Everything is simple. You feel like to do it you do it. I actually know couples who went through all of this and don't even live together. They just wanted the tax benefits and the "open relationship" status. ;)

You people give too much importance to something that, as claimed many times efore, is just a legal social estabilished (sp?) bound.
Waratte Oemashou Sore ha Chiisana Inori
 
Oct 29, 2008 3:18 PM

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I suppose I would get married if it really meant a lot to her, but it is kind of a non-issue for me.

Other than getting wedding presents of course. But then again, I guess I have an attitude about marriage - what with people not wanting the gay/lesbian community to get married, then fine, I don't want your [insert profanity] marriage anyway!

But, really, I don't care. XD
 
Oct 29, 2008 3:44 PM

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ladyxzeus said:
This is why I love living here. Everything is simple. You feel like to do it you do it.

It's quiet easy almost everywhere, only friends, family and the other party can make it difficult :D Like I dated a guy once, who said he wants to hold a traditional chatolic wedding, so I would have to became chatolic too, which I never intended. Well I never really thought about marrying him anyway, I was only 17 :D
 
Oct 29, 2008 5:19 PM
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i just finished my marriage paper. catholics were of course one of the points i chose to focus on. ;p
 
Oct 29, 2008 5:31 PM

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Raistlin said:
i just finished my marriage paper. catholics were of course one of the points i chose to focus on. ;p
Catholics are crazy

Ya I mean to offend you if you are catholic too
 
Oct 29, 2008 5:36 PM
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lol

the responses from other faiths towards their practice were so funny (in relation to the antenuptial agreement and dispensation)
 
Nov 1, 2008 10:12 PM

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nymph said:
marriage is good in someways. for ex. in a breaking up situation, it helps to protect your rights.


This only works if the law isn't horribly patriarchally sexist and one-sided, as it generally tends to be, given that every nation uses a basically patriarchal system. For example, in 1986 my parents split up. The legalities of marriage in the UK arbitrarily allowed my dad to get away with kicking my mother out of the shared bank account, meaning she and I (I was 5) had literally about £40. They also allowed him to keep ownership of the house and a large number of my mum's possessions that she simply couldn't take when she came back to get her stuff on the one occasion that she was legally entitled to do so. He was legally obliged to pay £220 per month to her until I was 18. Anyone with a knowledge of running a house knows that that's not really a lot of money at all.

So, you know, don't depend on it. The UK is supposed to be an advanced, egalitarian and liberal country, but this sort of thing goes on all the time; I can only imagine that it must be much worse in some other places.
 
Nov 1, 2008 10:15 PM

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I plan to get married in my twenties. Usual culture about marriage, nothing special. I think I would love marriage but that's just me.
better looking than u
 
Nov 1, 2008 11:28 PM

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I'm going to get married someday. But not any time soon.
 
Nov 2, 2008 12:19 PM

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I'm taking this off of "My Watched Topics" List now, laters.

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