| Quick question, how to acquire some social skills if somebody didn't have any before because he was hikikomori for all his life ? (20 years) |
| Good question. How about if you start chatting in a 'normal' IRC channel and observe how 'normal' people talk? No, seriously. Then, then start hanging out with IRL people, just one is enough first, call it a practicing friend :P I don't know your situation, but mankind posses an ability they call mimicry, try exercising yours. Last note, DON'T SET YOUR GOALS TOO HIGH! The more you hope, the harder you fall, the more depressed you'll become XD |
"Haruhi stood in front of a sign that says "Don't feed the pigeons," she then began to openly throw bread crumbs around like a gardener determined to make the wilting flowers blossom again. All I could say about this is that she's probably illiterate." - Kyon 2:3 |
| My only tip for you is... dont fake it. I've been a social person my whole life except for the last 3 years. I know I can be very social (perhaps I'm still social deep within lol) but... lately I've been faking it when outside. How the hell are you supposed to get an internship place otherwise?! Yeah, still in school 'cause some part in me refuses to give in to this damn world. |
| Start slow i know it's not the samething. but its like quitting smoking (what a shitty analogy srry -_-;) those who rush, with unrealistic goal will just fail and crumble. Take it slow but make sure your progressing. First of all, start exchanging about 1 word or 2 with someone close to you. or to those whom you see inevitably. Something like "thanks" or w/e Slowly increase the numbers of words, take much time as you want. But remember to set a goal and work toward it. Overtime increase your words and # of people you are willing to talk to. If you have nothing to say just start with small talks. like hows the weather, how you've been. i don't know if this will work, b/c i don't think people are sick as me. But when i talk to a person i usually have a goal in mind. So my focus is really on achieving that goal rather than the talk. This may help your brain to divert the attention elsewhere than the social activitiy itself. |
| well this stuff comes naturally unless you got aspergers or autism or something like that i cant say since ive always been somewhat social dont be too stiff and dont use big words that only you know or talk about only things you like that no one else cares about unless they want to hear about it out of curiosity or interest and dont be rude and you should be fine well if all fails just fake it and then you eventually dont have to fake it anymore because it becomes you |
Kenshin7162 said: why would u want to talk to other people??? the more people u know the more pain u go through its better just to be alone Then you feel the pain of being alone though. Life is for friends and family and love and fun......... cant really have much fun without anyone to know your having fun now can you? |
| The question sems a bit too general. You can develop social skills and wit, which will make being around other people easier, but it won't change who you are. Just because it will become easy, doesn't mean you'll start enjoying other's company. If you're not social by nature, nothing will change that, but even with minimal effort you will eventually establish a network of people who 'get you'. The difficult part is not getting too emotional over the countless setbacks that will happen along the way. Unfortunately this appears to be exactly your problem. Emotions aren't my forte, so I won't be able to help you there, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out, a workaround of some sorts. Put another spin on things. Even if it's 100% your f*up, as long as another person is involved, isn't it also them who lacked the ability to help you through it? If it was something really unacceptable, isn't there a lesson in it that had to be learned first hand and will help you get through such situations in the future? |
| Who needs social skills?Aren't we hikikomoris...? |
 |
Kenshin7162 said: traed said: Kenshin7162 said: why would u want to talk to other people??? the more people u know the more pain u go through its better just to be alone Then you feel the pain of being alone though. Life is for friends and family and love and fun......... cant really have much fun without anyone to know your having fun now can you? i supose so mabey thats why im depressed. i got to know someone and now she's gone so im in pain because im alone. but thats why its better not to talk to people. u dont have to go thrugh the pain of loosing them and finding out how horrible they really are and that u dont really mean anything to them. awe im so sorry :( *hugs* im sure you can find someone who you do mean a lot to its just that you ocasionally run into the wrong people and other times you just missinterpret how they do things only to reralize later they do care and love you. |
| I used to had some They were proven useless I lived normal life for years and jump to the conclusion I prefer this one |
| There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't Real men don't use Task Manager: they sudo kill -9 Computers are like air-conditioning: pretty much useless if you open Windows "I cannot refute you, Socrates." - said Agathon Symposium - Plato"Rather, dear Agathon, what you can't refute is the truth; for Socrates is easily refuted." |
| Why change? .. After 20 years of being a hikikomori, who wants us? Develop hobbies, friends that stay up like you do online, create things .. tangible or virtual -- it doesn't matter but it makes the day seem like it wasn't totally unfulfilled.. doesn't hurt to own the largest anime collection EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. :) |
Life is anime, manga, ramen, programming, doing everything to the minimum so you can fit in the maximum of everything you love. |
| whats an irc and where can i find them?? |
 mitsumi ❤ iwakura ✧ deliveries ✧ awc ✦ mrc ✧ set by titanween ✧ |
| Depends on how long you've been away from society, really. Getting a job can be scary as fuck, but it if you're still a student, it's honestly the best thing you could possibly do to improve your social skills. |
| "I'm gonna make you bleed like me!" Characterization Society Discord |
| an IRC is an Internet Relay Chat, a great way for traditional chatting imho. You would need an IRC Programm and a Server. You could try it with Rizon, i think a MAL Chatroom is on Rizon too. |
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